"And we're back, you're watching The Tonight Show. I'm Jay Leno and for the past half an hour or so, we've been talking with a very special guest-the First Lady of the United Satates. FLOTUS, is it? If you're just tuning in, not long ago, we were discussing her very varied musical interests. Now, due to Mrs. Bartlet's hour-long appearance, we found ourselves without a musical guest. Mrs. Bartlet has decided she feels guilty and would like to make up for that."
CJ's hand involuntarily moved to cover her open mouth.
"She wouldn't," Josh whispered.
"I think she would," Sam disagreed.
"No. She couldn't," Toby said.
"I think she could," Charlie said.
"But…will she?"
"We won't keep you waiting any longer. Ladies and gentleman, the First Lady of the United States!
The camera shifted to the left of the soundstage, where Abbey stood in front of a microphone waiting. When the music began to play, it was an all too familiar tune. While the staffers dreaded the moment she'd open her mouth, Abbey couldn't wait to let herself go. Four years of suppressed behavior, holding her tongue, waiting in the shadows, and being forced to conform to American society's design of the ideal First Lady. Now, with the magazine poll, she was finally starting to get some kind of recognition. She wasn't just the President's wife, the White House hostess, the doctor without a license-she was her own person. She had been completely honest with Jay Leno, possibly more honest than she should have been, and this was the perfect way to top it all off. After all, if she was going to get the senior staff pissed at her, she might as well take it to the limit.
As Abbey began to sing along with the music, her voice taking the place of Joan Jett's, she actually felt rebellious. She had been told numerous times that she was rebellious, non-conforming, and far from the typical stereotype of the First Lady. But until this moment, she had never felt it. This was her moment of glory…
Midnight gettin' uptight, where are you?
You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two
I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you…
"I…I…well, I'm speechless," Josh said.
"Then shut up!"
Hey Jack- It's a fact, they're talkin' in town I turn my back and you're messin' around I'm not really jealous, don't like lookin' like a clown…
"This is going to be on the cover of every newspaper and magazine in the country. Top story on all the morning shows. We might as well not even be running for re-election," Sam commented.
"Shut UP, Sam!"
I think of you ev'ry night and day You took my heart then you took my pride away…
"I'm wondering if this song is directed towards anyone…" Liz said, sending a smirk in her father's direction.
I hate myself for loving you Can't break free from the things that you do I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why I hate myself for loving you
"Can I just say…this performance would be a helluvalot better if Mrs. Bartlet actually had any singing talent," Sam said.
"Can it, Sam," Mallory ordered.
"Yes, ma'am."
Daylight, spent the night without you But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through…
"Sir, is there something we should know?" Josh asked, amused.
"Didn't Mallory tell you to can it!" Jed replied.
"She told Sam, sir."
"Mallory," Jed said, the look on his face telling her exactly what to do.
"Can it, Josh."
"Thank you, Mallory."
"Anytime, sir."
Hey man, betcha you can treat me right You just don't know what you was missin' last night I wanna see you beggin, say forget it- just for spite
The staffers noticed a pained look on the President's face after the last line.
"This happen to you often, sir?" Sam asked, suppressing his laughter.
"Sam, didn't my daughter ask you to can it?" Leo asked, with warning in his voice.
"More like told me to can it."
"I suggest you take her advice, she's a smart girl."
Mallory grinned coyly at Sam and laughed wickedly.
I hate myself for loving you Can't break free from the the things that you do I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why I hate myself for loving you I hate myself for loving you I hate myself for loving you
The music stopped, and Abbey smiled shyly as the audience roared with applause and standing ovations.
"Oh my God," Toby said.
"They liked it!" CJ exclaimed.
"Of course they liked it. It's the First Lady in Bad Ass Mode, what's not to like?" Josh replied, sarcastically.
"Thank you!" Abbey shouted out to the audience. "Wow. Thank you so much."
"Mr. President," Leo said.
"Yeah." Jed managed to tear his eyes off the screen for a moment.
"Call her."
He shook his head.
"I'm not calling her, Leo."
"Call her."
"And say what? 'Nice performance on the Tonight Show, hon, but I really don't think you've embarassed yourself enough, so I think we should book you a spot on Letterman.'"
"Jed, she didn't embarrass herself! Look at the TV!"
Leo was right. The audience was still going wild.
"Sir, twisted as this may sound…I think this might have been just what the doctor ordered," CJ said.
"No pun intended," Sam added.
"Yeah, she's gonna win this thing for sure," Josh said.
"I think we oughtta get her a photo shoot," Toby said quietly.
They all turned to look at him.
"What!"
"With the magazine."
"It's Time magazine, Toby, they don't do glamour shots," Leo replied.
"Bet they would if the order came from the Commander-in-Chief of the United States."
"Nah, Abbey's never going to do a photo layout in any magazine," Jed argued.
"Sir…I think you should have another look at the TV," Charlie suggested.
Abbey was obviously basking in the glow of the audience, grinning and waving.
"As excellent a First Lady as she is, I don't think she's ever enjoyed it as much as she is right now," Toby pointed out.
"Or at all," Josh said.
"Right."
"Toby's right, I think we should take advantage of this opportunity," CJ agreed.
"Yeah, gotta strike the iron while it's hot," Josh said.
"No pun intended yet again," Sam said.
Leo looked at the President.
"Call her."