THE AUTHOR LIVES

Yep I'm back I just wrote this whole thing last night in a gleeful explosion of Invader Zim DVDs, JTHM comics and a Dib background on my computer. All in all lent is over and my sanity is slowly returning. When I realized it was over my heart exploded with joy…after the paramedics revived me I started on this. Well I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

CRAZY ALIEN BOY

(BY THAT I MEAN DIB)

(NOT ZIM despite his craziness)

After returning home that morning Dib spent the rest of the day staring out the window just staring at the heavy snow flurries drifting down. Slowly more object succumb to the weight and were buried by the snow. They were smothered and even though it was whiteness covering them Dib imagined that they were trapped in a very dark place.

The only time Dib pulled himself away from his window and crawled out of his ice shell was to watch Mysterious Mysteries. Dib stumbled over to the couch and plopped down heavily. He flipped on the television. The mysterious mysteries theme blared through the speakers. Dib cocked an eyebrow. The host stood with his arms tucked behind his back.

"Welcome back," he said in his deep voice, "We're here with Betty Sue and her boyfriend Billy-Matt-Joe-Jim." There was a very pregnant very unkempt woman slouched in a seat. Her big belly was covered by a purpley brown floral print dress, "Now," said the host, "To recap tell us and the viewers at home what happened." She scratched her belly and belched.

"Well ya see I was sittin' at home when dis beam o' light cames over me it sounded like a hello chopper! I didn't know nuffing about nuffing that was going on. So as far as I can see the aliens objected me with der birthin' juices." She sighed, "And dis is my alien tube science child!" she grinned, "I'm going name him after me favorite alien Hercules!"

"Hercules was a Greek god," the host corrected.

"A what now?" she asked.

"Greek god." He repeated.

"Is that code for alien baby?" she asked tilting her head matted brown hair falling to one side.

"It unfair host man! It unfair!" screamed the man wearing a BUD WISER hat; "I means I've been trying to get Betty Sue to have my youngings for months now! We even tried the night that she got abducted!"

Dib muted the television he stared at it with a funny expression, "Uh…wow!" he muttered staring at the screen his eyes wide, "I'm not the only one! There are others who are just like me!" he said his eyes growing wide.

WHAM!

"Ow!" he cried rubbing the back of his head. The 12 year old spun around and saw his sister with her fist extended. She gave him a look, "Don't be stupid." She said with her eyes still on the game beeping away in the grasp of her other hand, "Those are just idiotic humans who want to think that they're special enough for something greater than this horrid little planet."

Dib stared at his sister then his eyes dropped to her video game. She always carried it with her, always! Maybe that was no ordinary game slave…maybe…

"Let me see that!" he demanded pointing at her GS2. Gaz's left eye popped open, "Why should I?" she retorted.

"Ah ha! I know why you don't want me to see that! Its because your using it to stay in contact with the aliens!" She raised an eyebrow, "You idiot! That's my game and I'm fourteen levels away from the main boss!" Dib narrowed his eyes accusingly.

"Why are you still keeping secrets Gaz? I'm smart enough to know better than that! That's how I was made!" Dib began turning it over looking for secret buttons and stuff…I don't know maybe a laser. Gaz stood glaring at him her eye twitching as he fumbled with the game. Suddenly there was a forlorn beeping as the handheld wined "Game over". Her eyes bulged more with unquenchable hatred.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER….

"Thank you scientists." He muttered before even opening his eyes. Dib sat up slowly rubbing his aching cranium, "Alright I'm going to have to assume that's just a normal video game." He nodded slowly. His great alien/human brain had failed him once again but as we all know this is a rarity. There was a noise in the kitchen Dib stood and slowly proceeded to enter the room. A tall figure was hunched over the counter pouring a mug of coffee. Dib's eyes narrowed, "Dad." He muttered. The scientist turned around and nodded at his son.

"Hello Son, sleep well?" Dib raised an eyebrow and felt like saying, "I slept great! Nothing works better than a warm glass of fist to tire one out." Instead,

"Yeah pretty well." He said and reached up grabbing the coffee pot for himself. So it was morning. Dib looked out the window most of the snow had melted only leaving a few patches struggling to continue existing. Membrane absently raised the mug to his covered face then he lowered it and looked down at Dib.

"Son is there something different about you?"

"There's a bolt in my face." He thought to himself, "Also I found out I'm not human anything new with you?" again instead he just shrugged.

"OH!" said Membrane, "I see!" the scientist walked over and patted Dib's head, "You've grown taller! Aging so quickly you're going to be what fifteen now?" his so called father asked for once showing even a little interest.

"Yes Dad." Dib muttered, "Yes I am going to be fifteen. I'd better head off to high school now." He turned around and walked out as his father called, "Have fun!"

Dib headed out in to the living room. He spotted his sister by the door it was time for them to return to school. He walked up to her. The ten year old's head was bent down over her precious GS2. He decided to keep a little distance between himself and her prized possession, "Erm…lets go." He said opening the door. She walked out without a word.

As they traveled down the street populated with humans Dib marveled at their sad little existences. He turned to his sister, "Can you believe it? We're not like them…we're way more special than any human like we are just two of a kind in the entire universe!" this thought seemed to fit in line with that egotism he'd possessed his whole life.

"Stop speaking." His sister commanded, "Before I crush your jugular!" his mouth snapped shut…for a moment before he added quickly, "But can you believe it?" She rolled her eyes at him.

"Yes I can believe it. I've believed it since I was six! Now shut up and stop talking about it!" She shook her head, "I was right as soon as you found out you became as stupid as Zim!" Dib stopped his eyes wide, "I'm…I'm NOTHING like him!" he screamed after her. She continued to walk as if she hadn't heard. Dib balled his fist, "NOTHING! Do you hear me Gaz? I'M NOTHING LIKE THAT MONSTER!" A green figure came in to his sight walking toward the school. His eye twitched, "I'm nothing like you." He whispered to the far off figure, "Nothing! I'm not!" he screamed and raced toward the Irken pulling his fist back as he went.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Ha ha! I left it at a neat-o point! What will happen! Will he strike ZIM? Kill ZIM? Break down and cry like a little girl? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF (dun dun dun) INVADER DIB

I'll update soon please review!