"Ok, Mrs. Bartlet, if you'll just go over and sit on the couch. Right there. Oh, that's great, thanks," the photographer, Hank, directed her.
"Is that ok?" Abbey asked, laying across the couch.
"That's perfect! Let's do one with a smile, then we'll do a pout, how's that"
"Oh, um….ok"
The camera began clicking away, Hank turning it at different angles.
"Beautiful! That's beautiful. Do that again. Love it, love it. One more time! Fantastic! Now just tilt your head a little to the left. Excellent. Oh, that gorgeous! Gorgeous. Ok"
He put his camera down.
"That was great, Mrs. Bartlet. Ms. Gardner's got your next dress, if you wanna go ahead and change into that"
"Sure"
Abbey walked into her bedroom, only to be startled by her husband sitting on their bed, waiting for her.
"Trying to give me a heart attack?" Abbey accused.
"Me? You could give any red-blooded man a heart attack in that dress!" "I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered"
"Flattered, I assure you"
"Jed, what the hell are you doing here?" "Didn't CJ tell you I was coming? Damnit, I told Charlie to call her and"
"No, she told me. But I'm still not sure what the hell you're doing here"
"I want to watch!" Jed said.
"No, you want to supervise"
"I never said"
"Jed"
"All right, I want to supervise"
"Jed, you promised me you were comfortable with this," Abbey said.
"I am! I'd just prefer to be present while it's happening"
"You're so full of shit"
"That's not very nice." "Did Amy leave my dress?" Abbey asked.
"It's in the bathroom"
"Ok. Go back to the office"
"I'm not going back to the office, Abbey"
"Go back to the office, Jed." "No"
"What are you, five? Go"
"I'm not going. In fact, I'm going to go have a word with the photographer right now," Jed said.
"Jed!" "See ya later, Sweet Knees. Come out wearing something pretty." He winked at her.
"Goddamnit"

Ten minutes later, Abbey still hadn't come out. Jed went into the bedroom, then stood in front of the bathroom door and knocked.
"Abbey"
"Go away, jackass"
He grinned.
"You ready for another round"
"I'm not coming out until you leave," Abbey said.
"Why not"
"Because you're going to embarrass me"
"I'm your husband, Abbey, not your father"
"Yeah? 'Cause you can't really tell the difference"
"Wow. Comparing me to your father. That's low," Jed said.
"Well, when you get protective like this, it's true"
"Come on, I'll behave like a good little boy. Just come out." "Not if you're going to treat me like a child"
"Come out here"
The door opened and Abbey slowly stepped out, wearing her next dress, which was cocktail-style this time. The black, spaghetti strap dress barely reached her knees. And with her hair swept up off her neck in a clip, she looked absolutely radiant. "God, Abbey, I don't think anyone could treat you like a child in that dress"
She sighed.
"This is why I didn't want you here"
Jed looked at her incredulously.
"I've seen you in a lot less than that, Abbey"
"That's not what I mean and you know it. You're going to be doing a running commentary throughout the entire shoot. Directing me, criticizing the photographer, objecting to things"
"I promise I will do no such thing," Jed promised.
"We both know you're incapable of such a promise"
"Abbey. Come on, Hank's getting restless"
She laughed.
"Ok. But you are to be on your best behavior, Jethro"
She took his arm and he lead her out of the bedroom. They walked past an agent and heard him whisper, "Eagle and Secret Cervix are moving"
Abbey did a double take.
"What did he just say"
"Eagle's moving. My code name," Jed answered, nonchalantly.
"No, what did he call me"
"Mmm, I don't know, I wasn't listening"
"Jed"
"He called you Secret Cervix, ok"
"Oh, my God!" Abbey's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me"
Jed shook his head.
"Zoey gets Bookbag and I get Secret Cervix"
"Hey, I didn't come up with it"
"But you knew about it"
"Yes, I did"
"Well. Why doesn't the entire country just call me that too"
"They do," Jed whispered.
"What"
"They do"
"What do you mean, they do"
"They do"
"The entire country refers to me as Secret Cervix"
"Not in the White House they don't," Jed replied.
"But outside the White House"
"That's what I hear"
"Dear Lord. How, pray tell, did this nickname get to be bestowed on me"
"Couldn't tell ya. But I think it's catchy. I might start calling you that too. Just for the turn-on"
"Jed"
"Mrs. Bartlet!" Hank called, moseying toward the First Couple. "We're ready for you. Come, come. You look stunning, by the way, absolutely breathtaking"
That took her mind off it. She grinned. And Jed stared him down.
"Why, thank you, Hank. How nice of you to say"
Abbey moved away from Jed and hooked her arm through Hank's, leaving Jed to walk behind them.
"My pleasure, ma'am. Now, we thought we could do the next shoot in the dining room"
"Sure"
"We just think it could be wonderfully with that stunnning ensemble you have on." "I absolutely agree"
"And we thought the next one, we could do in the bedroom. Thoughts on this"
"No way!" Jed called from behind them. "Well, what's the next outfit?" Abbey asked. "It's…something a little more casual"
"Casual?" Abbey repeated.
"He means sexy!" Jed exclaimed.
"Shush, Jed. Casual"
"Yes, ma'am. It's nothing you should be uncomfortable wearing"
"Oh, no, I'm sure she'll be VERY comfortable," Jed said, sarcastically. "Jed!" Abbey turned back to Hank. "What is it, exactly"
"I bet it's from Victoria's Secret!" Jed called again.
"Jed, I swear to God, if you don't can it…" The team of assistant photographers all broke down in laughter. They had never seen anyone talk to the President, any president, that way. Jed held up his hansd in surrender. "Thank you. Now, Hank…I'm not sure I'm following all of this"
"Ok, that's fine, Mrs. Bartlet. If you don't want to do it, that's perfectly all right. I, for one, think your sex appeal is just as apparent in a dress like you're wearing now"
"Sex appeal?" Abbey repeated.
"SEX APPEAL!" Jed shouted. "Ok. Guys!" Hank bellowed. "Cross off the bedroom shoot, will ya? The First Lady's not comfortable with it"
"Oh, I'm comfortable with it. I don't think my husband is, however"
"The President's not comfortble with it!" Hank corrected. "Let me ask you something, Hank. The results from the poll are already in, right?" Jed asked.
"Yes, sir, as far as I know"
"Have you been given any indication as to who the winner is"
"No, sir. They don't fill me in on such things. I'm a photographer," Hank repied. "Yeah, but you don't think this is why they sent you to make such a fuss"
"I really don't know, sir." "Let me ask you something else. Who did you vote for"
"Jed, he doesn't have to tell you that!" Abbey said.
"I voted for Mrs. Bartlet, sir"
"Are you just saying that so I don't kick your ass"
"Jed, for crying out loud"
Hank laughed.
"No, sir. I'd choose the First Lady over Jackie Kennedy any day"
"Yeah? Why's that"
"Well, for one thing, the First Lady is alive"
Jed nodded.
"You make an excellent point there, Hank. Do you know people who voted for Jackie"
"I do, sir"
"Bastards. Bring them to me for a beheading immediately"
Hank laughed again.
"I'll tell them, sir"
"Can you give me a prediction, who you think will likely win this election"
"Jed! Poll! It's a poll!" Abbey exclaimed.
"Right, sorry. Can you give your prediction on who will likely win the poll"
"Well, it's difficult to say, sir. Jackie Kennedy's got the legacy thing going for here, whereas Mrs. Bartlet's got the, ya know, alive thing going for her. Mrs. Bartlet is obviously the most visible right now, but as far as the past goes, Jackie's probably the most recognizable First Lady we've ever had. Can I ask, who did you vote for, sir? Can I assume you voted for your wife"
"Nah, I voted for Jackie"
Abbey jabbed him in the ribs.
"Ow"
"Looks like you're due for your own beheading then, sir," Hank replied.
Abbey tried to suppress her giggles.
"I like this guy. He gets under your skin," she said to her husband. "Ok, I've had enough with this. What do you say we finish up this shoot?" Jed suggested.
"Yes, sir! Mrs. Bartlet"
"Right behind you, Hank"