Chapter 1

Queer Girls of Hogwarts

Heather struggled to catch her breath. She collapsed onto her bed, her face buried in the pillow. Don't freak out, girl. Calm down.

But how on earth was she even meant to calm down now? Her godfather, the only person who had truly known her as herself, Sirius Black, was dead. Tripped in a fight and fell through a veil that was apparently a one-way ticket to see Hades and Persephone.

On top of that, she found out about some stupid prophecy that basically boiled down to: "oh by the way, that dark lord who keeps trying to kill you? Well, you now have to kill him, or he kills you."

Why was it always her? Why couldn't she just have a normal life as a normal teenage girl? That is, without the dark wizards who want to kill her, the aunt and uncle who hate her guts, and definitely without the fact that only Sirius knew that she actually was a girl at all.

You see, Heather was in fact a trans girl. To the outside world, she was actually a teenage boy named Harry James Potter. She even believed this about herself until the Christmas break, when Sirius came out to her as bi, and she got curious. By the end of the break, she had come out as herself to Sirius, and Sirius had managed to somehow obtain a prescription for a type of muggle medicine called Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT for short).

HRT had probably been the best thing to ever happen to her (and not much good tends to happen to her, so it was a very low bar). Over the past several months, she had noticed a significant dip in her anxiety, despite how much more anxiety inducing circumstances were. It became easier to focus on various tasks, including her homework, which gave a significant improvement in her grades.

Oh, and also, she got boobs. Finally. They weren't big boobs, but she definitely had boobs now. Which was amazing.

Of course, since she wasn't actually out, they could have caused issues – if it wasn't for her school robes being somewhat bulky. Oh. And also the fact that people just didn't seem to notice at all. People were weird like that.

She probably would have to come out soon – after all, it's not like she could pretend to be a cis guy forever. The issue was she wasn't sure how anyone would react. She especially concerned over how her friends might react – although, they had not given indications that they'd react negatively.

Anyway, at this current time, she was rather upset. And also was crying on her bed. Did I mention that she had a much easier time crying now?

"Hey Harry? You in here?"

Heather froze. It was Neville.

"G- Go away Neville."

"Harry? What's wrong?" She heard Neville walk over to her and stop just outside of her bed.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Oh. Ok. Uh…"

She heard Neville walk away. She sniffled.

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk, Harry?"

Heather scowled. "Can you stop calling me that?" She snapped.

"What?"

Heather groaned internally. She shouldn't have said that. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine." She could hear the concern in Neville's voice.

"Well, I will be fine. I don't wanna talk. So can you leave me alone please?"

"Ok, Ha- Ok." Clearly he had heard her when she said not to call her 'Harry'.

Heather lied back and closed her eyes, hoping she could just fall asleep.

Unfortunately, it was anything but a calm sleep.

When she woke up, it was near noon, and the dormitory was empty. That suited her just fine since it meant no one was there to try and talk with her.

Ok, she was lying when she said she didn't wanna talk. She just didn't feel close enough to Neville to talk to him. If Ron or Hermione were around, she would probably be willing to talk to them. Probably. But the two of them were likely still in the hospital wing considering they had probably been hurt the worst out of the 6 of them who'd gone off to the ministry last night.

She slid out of her bed and onto the floor, sitting there for a minute trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes. She then reached into the drawer on her nightstand and pulled out her pill bottles. She looked at them. Damn, I missed my dose yesterday. She wasn't sure if she should then take both days' doses, or just take one day's dose and live with missing a day. There were never any instructions about what to do if she missed a day.

Shrugging, she uncapped the bottle of her anti-androgen and popped one of the pills in her mouth. She grabbed the glass off her nightstand. Unfortunately, it was empty. She scowled and filled it with aguamenti, then took a sip to help swallow her pill. She then grabbed a couple of the estrogen pills and stuck them under her tongue. She then stood up unsteadily, her head spinning slightly.

I'm such a mess, she thought. She tried to cast a couple spells to clean herself up, but it didn't help with the gross feeling. She sighed. Hopefully no one comes back for a bit. She shed her shirt and jeans, before grabbing some clean clothes from her trunk. Do I not have a clean bra? She grimaced, but then found one anyway. It had been buried under a couple skirts. That she had not had an opportunity to wear since Easter break. She closed her trunk and then stepped into the bathroom. She put her clean clothes on top of one of the counter with the sinks before shedding her underwear and stepping into a shower.

Holy shit, I soooo needed this.

After her finishing her shower, Heather got dressed and left the dorms. The common room was empty. Which was fine, she didn't want to be around people right that moment. She also didn't particularly want to stay in one place, so she left.

Ok, small correction. She didn't want to be around people who would want to try and talk to her about last night. On the other hand, there were plenty of people who wouldn't try to get her to talk: they also happened to be elves.

With her mind made up, she started making her way down to the kitchens. This decision may also have been slightly motivated by her own hunger. Only slightly.

On the way down, she passed a couple students, but, fortunately, none of them decided to talk to her.

Upon reaching the kitchens, she immediately spotted her friend, Dobby. After all, Dobby was somewhat difficult to miss on account of him typically wearing anywhere from 3 to several dozen hats at once, all them perched precariously on his small head. Of course, there was no danger of them falling off since he probably held them in place with magic. Also, he was wearing bright pink, blue, and white pants. Pants that he had made after he found out about Heather being trans. Turns out the little guy really, really liked her. Who knew? (That is, aside from literally anyone who had seen the two of them interact.)

Of course, Dobby also immediately noticed her and rushed over excitably. She smiled at the elf, and embraced him in a hug. "Hey, Dobby."

"Hello Miss Heather," Dobby responded. "Dobby heard you was not at breakfast."

Heather nodded. "Yeah, I slept in a bit. Had a very late night last night. But now I am starving and came down here. You wanna try making pancakes with me again?"

Dobby nodded eagerly. This had been something that happened since shortly after the Winter break. Whenever Heather wasn't feeling up to facing the students in the great hall, she would come to the kitchens and together, she and Dobby would prepare some food to eat together. It was perhaps the most relaxing thing she could remember doing in recent memory, and that includes those times she snuck into the prefect's bathroom late at night over the past couple months (her map had been very helpful in managing to tell her what the password was currently set to – Sirius and Remus had managed to create a new and improved version of the Map – a Marauder's Map 2.0, so to speak. Of course, Wormtail's name was nowhere to be seen on it. And they'd added her father and mother under a special thanks section.

Dobby and Heather set about preparing the pancake batter together, mixing the ingredients and then pouring the mix onto a pan that Dobby had set up over one of the stoves. Heather also had the brilliant idea of adding blueberries to the mix – she much preferred them over the strawberry bits they'd added last time.

After the pancakes were prepared, they drowned their pancakes in syrup before digging in.

Heather ended up eating no less than 6 pancakes. They were really good pancakes.

Dobby said that now he must be getting back to work, so Heather left him to it and went out to wander around the castle for a bit. This is how she ended up face to face with Nick.

"Well you see, when a witch or wizard dies, they may choose to remain. Typically this comes from those who were scared of death or on some level deserve to remain a ghost. You see, being a ghost is not a pleasant experience, Harry." Heather winced at the address, but Nick didn't notice. "Your godfather, from what I remember of him in school, would very likely be neither of those. There are of course other ways to communicate with the dead. But all or rare, difficult, dangerous, or any combination of those."

"Thanks, Nick."

"I'm sorry Harry," Heather winced again, "I really am."

Heather left feeling dejected. That had been her last hope to see Sirius again. At least seeing him again any time soon. And I doubt he'd want me to go about dying so soon, she thought. Not that I have any intention of dying before I can at least become a grandmother. Or at least be at that age. Heather really wasn't sure if she'd ever want kids. Or be able to, for that matter. Sure there was always adoption, but Sirius had mentioned there was a lot of barriers preventing queer people from adopting.

She continued to wander around before finding Luna, who was currently barefoot, and her back facing to Heather.

"Hey Luna." Heather said.

Luna whirled around. "Oh. Hey."

Heather smiled at the girl. She was always a very calming presence. "So uh… where are your shoes."

Luna's expression darkened. "I don't know."

Heather frowned.

"This always happens every year. They turn up eventually though."

"Are you looking for them?" Heather asked.

Luna nodded. "Yup. I don't suppose you've seen them?"

Heather shook her head. "Not since I last had them on my feet. Would you like some help looking for them?"

Luna nodded. "Oh, yes please!" She seemed so happy to have help offered.

Heather smiled. "Alright. I'm gonna call a friend and see if he can help. Hey Dobby! If you aren't busy right now, and have the time, could you please come help us with something."

With a crack, Dobby appeared in front of them. "Yes, Miss Heather?"

Heather nervously glanced over at Luna, but Luna didn't seem to have noticed anything weird about the way Dobby had just addressed her. "So, my friend Luna can't find her shoes. I was wondering if you might be able to help out?"

Dobby nodded. "Dobby can be helping out. Dobby can find anything in Hoggywarts that Miss Heather and Miss Luna needs."

"That's great, Dobby!" Luna said. "I, uh- I'm also missing some other things. Could you help find those as well, please?"

Dobby nodded. "Dobby will find all of Miss Luna's missing things and Dobby will bring them to Miss Luna. What is it that Miss Luna be missing?"

"Well, I'm missing all my shoes, my rain boots, half of my socks, a couple bras, one of my school uniforms, a silver bracelet, and a winter hat."

Dobby nodded. "Dobby can find all of that. Dobby will be right back." And then with another crack Dobby disappeared.

"He's quite an interesting little fellow, isn't he?"

Heather nodded. "He's a good friend. He tried to save my life a few years ago. In return, I freed him from some bad wizards – the Malfoys. I hadn't heard from him my entire 3rd year, but he started working here last year, and we've had a bit of a friendship ever since."

"And he called you 'Miss Heather.' What's that about?"

Heather smiled nervously. So Luna had in fact noticed. "Well, you see-"

"Are you like me?"

That caught Heather off guard. "W-what? What do you mean?"

Luna smiled. "I asked if you were like me. When I was born I was not actually named Luna, by the way."

Heather nodded. "So what were you named?" Heather immediately regretted asking that. You don't just ask something like that.

"I'd rather not say. It was not a name I particularly liked, you see. Much like I imagine you don't like your old name."

Heather shook her head. "No. Definitely not."

Luna looked thoughtful before her look turned serious. The first serious look Heather had ever seen on the small girl's face. "It's not exactly a safe thing to be. What we are, that is. I can be somewhat safe since I was able to change so young. No one ever knew that I was born as a boy. Oh sure, they can see that I'm different in some way. But none of them know this. And it's good they don't if they found out, I'd have to leave."

Heather's heart sank. This had been exactly what she had been afraid of. That just by her being herself, she would be forced to leave Hogwarts. She licked her suddenly very dry lips. "What- what does this mean for me?"

Luna looked sad. "It means you can't stay. It will never be safe. Harry Potter should just disappear. It wouldn't be safe to know that Heather was once Harry Potter."

Heather sighed. "Should I change my last name then?"

Luna nodded. "Probably. Or just move to New Zealand, I've heard they're very accepting over there."

Heather put her head in her hands.

"What's wrong, Heather?" Luna asked, moving closer and putting her arm around the older girl.

Heather choked back a sob. "This is exactly what I was afraid of, Luna. That being myself could lead to me having to leave Hogwarts. That it would lead to me having to just disappear." Heather sniffled. "I'd lose all my friends."

Luna rubbed Heather's back. "Hey, I'd still be your friend. I'd disappear with you."

Heather turned to look at Luna. "You would?"

Luna nodded. "Of course, Heather."

"Oh there you are!" A voice called. Heather turned towards the source. "I've been looking all over for you."

It was Daphne Greengrass. A Slytherin in Heather's year, and someone she had struck up an unlikely friendship with earlier that year. She smiled at the slightly older girl. "Hey, Daph."

Daphne sat down on Heather's other side. "So what's wrong? You look like you've been crying."

Heather realised that she had crying and there were currently tears on her cheeks. "I, uh… Sirius died."

"Your godfather?" Daphne asked.

Heather nodded.

"Damn. That really sucks, Harry."

Heather winced, and Daphne definitely noticed. Daphne noticed a lot.

"It does suck, right?"

Heather nodded. "Yeah, of course it sucks."

Daphne nodded. "Right… it's just… is there anything else bothering you, Harry?"

Heather tried to school her features. She really hated that name, but Daphne still noticed anyway.

"There is something else bothering you! What is it?"

Heather cringed inwardly. "I can't tell you."

"Well why not? It's nothing bad is it? You aren't doing something like sacrificing babies or plotting to steal my ice cream?"

Heather sighed. She really didn't want to lie to Daphne. "It's nothing bad. It's just…"

"Well if it isn't bad, then why can't you tell me?"

"I just can't."

"Bullshit. You know there's nothing you can say that would phase me."

Heather turned to Luna for help, but Luna looked just about as awkward as Heather felt.

"Well what if it did?"

"What do you mean?" Daphne seemed to struggle for a bit. "Harry… are you gay?"

"What?"

"You know. Gay. Homosexual. Do you like dudes?"

"What? No! I do not like dudes. I totally only like girls." She laughed nervously. "No dudes for me!"

Daphne nodded. "I see."

Heather hesitated for a second before asking. "Daphne, are you gay?"

Daphne stared into Heather's eyes. Heather could see a vulnerability in Daphne that she had never seen before.

"You are gay, aren't you?"

Daphne's shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I am. I like girls. Just… please don't tell anyone."

"We would never, Daphne," Luna said. "In fact, I am also not straight. I don't know what I am, but whatever it is, it's not straight."

Daphne nodded. "I kind of expected that from you." She paused for a second, then, "so uh… what's bothering you then, Harry?"

Heather felt really nervous. She didn't want to lie. But also… Daphne was gay… maybe she would be accepting. "Uh… that name is."

Luna let out a small gasp.

Daphne frowned. "Harry? You're bothered by the name 'Harry'?"

Heather nodded.

"But why…" she trailed off, glancing at Luna. "Maybe I'm also correct about that?" She paused. "So what name do you prefer?"

Heather suppressed her nerves. "Heather. I prefer the name 'Heather'."

Daphne nodded. "Sounds good to me, Heather Potter."

Heather breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's more of a girl name… so are you actually a girl then?"

Heather nodded.

"Well that makes things a lot less confusing."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Daphne smiled at them. "Well you know I'm gay, right? A lesbian, if you will. Something I quite enjoy being by the way. I have no interest in guys, right?"

Heather shook her head.

"Huh… this would make you gay too… anyway, a few months into our friendship, I had realised I was kind of… catching feelings for you, I guess. Which was weird, 'cause you were a guy. Except you're not a guy, and never were a guy. You're a girl. So it makes a lot more sense now."

Heather felt kind of shocked at that. "You… you had a crush on me?"

Daphne shrugged. "Had. Have. Will probably continue to have. You're a really nice girl, Heather. And especially after Christmas, you seemed to get a lot less moody."

"Well that's when I got my HRT."

Daphne looked at her questioningly.

"Hormones. I got my hormones then. You know, estrogen."

Daphne nodded. "Makes sense then." Daphne grinned mischievously. "So are you getting tits now?"

Heather blushed. "I- uh- well-" She nodded. "I- uh- I actually already kinda have them… I mean, they're really small. But I have them."

"So is that the reason for all the bulky robes in June?"

Heather nodded. "It's uncomfortable, but I don't want people to find out."

"No, I didn't think you did. Most wizards can be kinda nasty about this sort of thing. Which honestly makes no sense. It wasn't that long ago that nobody actually cared. Hell, part of why muggles hunted us so much back before the statute was because wizards supported people like us so much."

"So what happened to change that?"

"Well, you see, following the statute, many wizards became obsessed with maintaining a little something called blood purity – which is total bullshit anyway – and that involved not having kids with muggles, for the most part. But it also involved wanting to maintain lineages. Eventually all the purebloods had all married each other, so now just about everyone was related somehow." Daphne paused to catch her breath. "So then it was less accepted for purebloods to be queer in some way. It also seemed like for a bit before the war against Grindelwald, muggle had started to be a bit accepting. Not much, but a bit more. And then pure bloods started being afraid muggle-borns would influence the 'proper' purebloods to be gay and not have kids."

"And then it becams\e less acceptable for anyone to be queer then?"

Daphne nodded. "Exactly. It's all bullshit anyway. Just because I like girls doesn't mean I can't still get pregnant. And just because some muggle-born I met happened to be gay does not make me gay. I was gay long before I met any muggle-borns."

Heather sighed. "D'you… do you think things could go back to how they were? Like, before?"

Daphne shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe. But it's not something the three of us could do anything about right now. As it is, once I graduate here, I'm out of here. No more wizarding world, just gonna disappear into the muggle world. Try and get a muggle education and a muggle job."

"That sounds… kinda defeatist."

Daphne shrugged. "If it's what I need to do to be myself, then so be it. Magical Britain is dying, Heather. So are a lot of other nations, but some are flourishing. Mind you, it's nearly impossible to find them anymore since Europe has kinda messed up most of the world. But Mongolia is doing great from what I've heard. Same with Japan in fact. I think it has to do with how much those magical communities welcome muggle ideas and muggle-born mages."

"Luna mentioned that she heard New Zealand was very accepting."

"Is it really?"

Luna nodded. "Daddy always says that when I graduate, we will be moving to New Zealand. It also helps that those islands are full of so many fascinating magical creatures."

Daphne smirked. "Maybe I should go with you then. Would mean waiting a whole extra year and avoiding basically the entire pureblood male population of Britain for that time, but I think I could manage."

Heather made up her mind. "Then we all go. To New Zealand that is."

Daphne smiled wide. "New Zealand it is then."

The three queer girls all smiled at each other as they made a pact to leave Britain forever.