Precious Ninja is No More

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! (Or Haku would be a girl mwahahaha!) They belong to Kishimoto. DON'T SUE ME DAMNIT!

Description: Kyuubi has not attacked so Yondaime is still alive... Naruto has a bloodline ability far more powerful than Sasuke's.. Orochimaru is taking them both!

Rhg…I had trouble thinking about what happens next…

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Chapter 7 – Comedy Chapter

Orochimaru's Plans

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Last time…

"Interesting fight…" said a cloaked man

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"Naruto… You're a boy but why do you have Sharingan?" asked Sasuke curiously

Naruto (now a boy) looked at Sasuke and grinned.

"Well I just asked Tsunade-baba if I could keep 'em! She says I could watch watch!" said Naruto

Naruto activated his Sharingan.

"Eh? What happened to my Mangekyou!" screamed Naruto

Sasuke rolled on the floor laughing and pointed at Naruto. Naruto glared at Sasuke and tried to kick him which was blocked by a hand. Naruto looked up and there was a one eyes guy.

"Yo!"

"Kakashi……" muttered Naruto

"YOU'RE LATE!" shouted Naruto and Sakura who appeared from nowhere

Kakashi sweatdropped.

"Ah ermm I saw a bird you see and the wing was injured so-" explained Kakashi

"LIAR!" screamed Naruto and Sakura

"Alright we are going to do some… practicing!" said Kakashi

'What a way to start the day… HEY THAT RHYMES!' thought Naruto

'Brat… Stop rhyming, it gives me chills.'

'What the? Who was that! Oh well must be my imagination…' thought Naruto

'Stop ignoring me!'

Naruto turned to look at Sasuke who was currently doing chakra control and sticking on a tree, he turned to Kakashi and he was reading that… book of his. He scratched his head in confusion before shrugging it off. He walked to Sasuke and tapped him on the shoulder, Sasuke cracked open one eye and growled.

"I keep hearing this voice do you hear it?" asked Naruto

Sasuke blinked at Naruto and shook his head.

'BRAT I SAID TO STOP IGNORING ME DAMN YOU!'

Naruto clutched his head in pain and fell to the ground.

"What… the…." Mumbled Naruto in shock

'To hell with you brat…'

Naruto shook his head and blinked a few times. Sasuke was standing ontop of him, Naruto's mind took a while to register that Sasuke was standing on his stomach and it hurt like shit.

Naruto howled in pain and shoved Sasuke off. Sasuke… being Sasuke landed on his feet without stumbling. Naruto rolled over and jumped back onto his feet. He glared at Sasuke before running at Sakura's direction.

"SAKURA-CHAAAAAN! I GOT THE SHARINGAN!" shouted Naruto

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, Sakura and Kakashi stopped sparring and turned towards Naruto. Sakura smashed him in the face.

"You do NOT have Sharingan. Only Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-kun do!" said Sakura

"Very interesting… let me take a look Naruto!" said Kakashi smiling

Naruto grabbed Sakura's fist and tossed it away.

"Sure sure watch!" said Naruto

Naruto's blue eyes suddenly turned red and three black dots surrounded the black pupil in the centre. Sakura's jaw dropped to the floor and Kakashi's looked at if he were shocked. All of a sudden Sakura tried to hit Naruto with inhuman speed but all of a sudden Naruto took a step back and dodged the fist. Sakura blinked and threw a flurry of punches at Naruto but it was either blocked or dodged. Sakura stood panting.

Naruto laughed a victorious one and happily de-activated the Sharingan and skipped towards Sasuke.

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Forests

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"So.. that Kyuubi Kid has Sharingan? I don't want to know how he got it…" muttered a cloaked figure

"Although I may be the bad guy it's funny spying on people." Continued the Cloaked figure

Kunai's were thrown at his direction which was easily dodged. He turned to look at who dared to interrupt his thoughts, he found himself face to face with one of the legendary Sannin. Orochimaru, he was long black hair and his skin was almost white and he wore a kind of Gi with a large bow strapped to the back.

"Hello, what are you doing there?" asked the sannin

The cloaked man kept quiet and Orochimaru frowned. He took a step towards the cloaked man.

"My name is Orochimaru, what is yours?" asked Orochimaru losing his patience

"None of your business." Came the reply from the cloaked man

Orochimaru pffted and clicked his fingers, a young man wearing glasses stepped aside and dashed at the cloaked man, the cloaked man smirked and activated the ultimate genjutsu. Orochimaru was also caught in it, Orochimaru smirked.

"Low level Genjutsu cannot effect me." Said Orochimaru calmly

Orochimaru formed seals to de-activate the genjutsu but found that he was still inside. His eyes widened and he staggered backwards.

"W-what kind of genjutsu is this!" asked Orochimaru angrily "Kabuto, hit him!"

The man named Kabuto dashed forward but suddenly found himself looking at Uchiha Itachi. A bead of sweat dropped down Kabuto's face as he found himself looking into the Sharingan, he gulped and hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood up. His eyes shifted and only managed to catch a glimpse of Itachi behind him before Itachi suddenly exploded. Kabuto let out a scream of pain as he was propelled through the air and was thrown into a tree, the branch jammed into Kabuto's gut. Kabuto spat blood before smiling, he gathered chakra to his hands and tried to heal the wound but the chakra materialized as soon as he tried to heal his wound.

Orochimaru looked at Kabuto and cursed under his breathe. Orochimaru formed seals and planted his hand on the floor.

"Kuchiyose No Jutsu!" shouted the snake sannin

Suddenly there was a large cloud of smoke filling the entire area and Orochimaru started to grin but his jaw hit the ground when he summoned a baby snake with no teeth…. At all… Orochimaru kicked the snake away and tried again, smoke filled the area yet again but there was a baby snake with tiny teeth. Orochimaru let his head fall before kicking it away. He glared at the cloaked man and dashed at him but suddenly found himself shorter, he looked down at his body and found… that he was a kid again. He looked up to see the Third Hokage looking at him warmly.

"Come now Orochimaru, Tsunade and Jiraiya is waiting for you." Said the Third Hokage kindly.

Orochimaru's body stiffened at the mention of his previous team-mates, he slowly turned his head around to see Jiraiya taking blackmail pictures of Tsunade. Tsunade got really angry but when she looked at Orochimaru she smiled and waved before turning to Jiraiya and punching him flat in the jaw, Jiraiya muttered and 'Oof' before being sent flying through the air and he smashed into a large building. Orochimaru watched innocently before getting angry he spun around to look at the Third Hokage. He raised his fist and punched the old man in the stomach but he found it useless. Third Hokage chuckled and ruffled Orochimaru's hair. Suddenly Orochimaru found himself impaled with a katana, he shakily looked up to see the evil grinning face of Kakashi, Kakashi grabbed his sword and cut him across the waist and cut his arms off. Kakashi laughed maniacally before the surrounding turned into the forest. Kabuto had a wound through his lungs and Orochimaru's arms were gone. The cloaked man smirked before throwing up blood, he knelt on one knee and rested one arm on the knee.

'Damn…. I over did it..' thought the cloaked man

Orochimaru winced in pain before running off with Kabuto following closely.

"Damn him and his weird genjutsu! Kabuto… YOU'RE A FUCKER!" shouted Orochimaru and all Kabuto could do was agree. He had never seen that type of genjutsu…ever.

The cloaked man turned his head and noticed that Kakashi had noticed his presence and was now coming closer.

'Shit!' thought the cloaked man

He turned his head the other way round and met face to face with Kakashi.

"Yo." Kakashi said in a bored voice

The cloaked man put his hand on Kakashi's face and pushed him away, Kakashi stumbled backwards, the cloaked man stood up and started to walk away, Kakashi looked at the man curiously before shrugging at walking back to Sasuke and the others.

"Heh heh! I have Kyuubi AND Sharingan! KYUUBI!" shouted Naruto

He concentrated but nothing happened, Sasuke smirked at him. Naruto gulped nervously.

'Kyuubi! How come I cannot use your chakra!' thought Naruto in panic

'You use the Sharingan and I won't allow you to use my powers… you'd be way too powerful.'

'What!' thought Naruto

He didn't even notice that Sasuke ran towards him and kicked him hard in the face, Naruto stumbled back before rolling on the floor. He quickly jumped up and dashed towards Sasuke who was in a defensive stance, he punched but it was avoided by Sasuke and was kicked in the stomach. Naruto doubled over before being slammed in the nose, he backflipped and hit the floor with a oof. Naruto looked up to see that Sasuke had the Sharingan. Naruto smirked and shakily stood up again.

"Oh yeah? We'll fight fire with fire! SHARINGAN!" shouted Naruto

Naruto's Sharingan activated and he dashed forwards. Punches and kicked were thrown but was either parried or blocked by the other. Naruto finally managed to kicked Sasuke whilst at the same time the back of Sasuke's fist smashed Naruto in the side of the head, he both were sent skidding across the floor, Sasuke recovered the quickest and threw shuriken at Naruto. Naruto noticed and rolled over to the side, Naruto quickly bit him thumb and planted it firmly on the ground.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" shouted Naruto

A large frog appeared and it jumped at Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes widened and he quickly backflip before forming some seals.

'Aha! The Chidori… Ehehehe…. Copy time!' thought Naruto

Naruto used his Sharingan while Sasuke was executing the move and prepared one of his own, when Sasuke burst through the frog Naruto dashed forward and jabbed the Chidori into Sasuke's left shoulder. Sasuke gave a cry of pain before being thrown back and smashed the floor… hard. Sakura suddenly looked that way and shrieked, she ran towards Sasuke and knelt by him. She glared at Naruto, Naruto noticed and flipped her off. Sakura was surprised.

"Y-you're not Naruto!" she shouted "WHERE'S NARUTO YOU BITCH!"

Naruto glared at Sakura whilst rubbing his ears.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DARN PINK HAIRED WOMEN!" screamed Naruto even louder than Sakura. "You really think that I was in love with you? It was an act, that foolish behaviour, being happy and all. You should be glad that you all aren't dead by now. Starting from now whoever wants to fuck with me ('Except Sasuke') I swear I'll send them to hospital with more than 3 broken limbs!"

Sakura could only stare in shock. Kakashi appeared and looked at Sasuke.

"Ouch what happened here?" asked Kakashi

Naruto glared at Kakashi.

"Nothing." Replied Naruto before walking off

Kakashi smiled and watched him go before looking back at Sasuke.

"Take him to hospital." Said Kakashi and he disappeared in a puff of smoke

Sakura stared with his jaw at the floor.

'He didn't do anything else!' Sakura thought mentally

Sakura shook her head and took Sasuke to hospital.

Sasuke woke up and covered his eyes with his hand. The door creaked open and there stood… ITACHI! And oh that is Kisame.

"Hello Sasuke, how you doing?" asked Itachi smirking

"Well let me see here…. My shoulder throbs like shit, inside my head there's a guy drumming away on his drum and my eyes is going to die soon!" growled Sasuke angrily

Itachi looked like if he was in thought before bursting out in laughter. Kisame raised an eyebrow. Itachi stopped soon and kicked Kisame in the shin which made Kisame flinch in pain. Now it was Sasuke's turn to raise an eyebrow, suddenly a yellow blur zoomed past knocking Itachi over in the process and it became idle next to Sasuke's bed. Naruto was grinning like a maniac.

"What are you doing here dobe?" asked Sasuke

"Teme… Don't. Call. Me. DOBE! Anyway HI ITACHI!" shrieked Naruto

Sasuke winced, Itachi stood up and Kisame raised an eyebrow. Naruto marched up to Itachi and activated his Sharingan proudly. Itachi held up two fingers and poked Naruto's eyes. Naruto howled in pain and jumped backwards, landing ontop of Sasuke.

"Oof.." muttered Sasuke

A dark long haired figure stood outside the window, watching with interest.

TO BE CONTINUED!

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Okay there's another chapter for you guys. It took me hell of a long time just to come up with this comedy chapter. Anyway next time get ready for…

Chapter 8 – Comedy Chapter 2

My Dear ARMS! NOO!

Thank you for reading my fan fiction. Please review!

-UchihaSasukeDeathbringer

P.S. Remember to look out for the comedy chapters! Thank you and thank you reviewers!

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