Journal of Shade: Chapter 2
What the Hell is a Gray Fox?
Shade stepped out into the bright sunlight and hissed.
"AH! THE LIGHT!" he yelled, and cowered behind a rock. He's not a vampire or anything he's just weird. So Shade sat behind his rock until nighttime.
When the moon peeked out from behind the clouds, Shade stood up, and opened up his journal to the first page, and he saw what that idiot had decided to write in the first page.
Name: Shadow (as if he couldn't remember his own name.)
Race: Imperial (because I'm SO likely to forget that too)
Class: Con Man (It was odd that Baurus decided to let him go after revealing his life of crime)
Skills:
Blade
Marksman
Sneak
Security
Speech Craft
Illusion
Light Armor
Shadow snapped the book shut, and pulled out the large red jewl that he had been given.
"So he frees me from jail, I let his emperor die when I was entrusted with his life, he finds out I'm a Con Man, and he STILL trusts me with this necklace. Is this guy on acid or something?" this puzzled Shade, and he tried to put the necklace on, but It falls off. "What the hell?" he says, frustrated. So he tries again, but it falls off again. He looks at the back, and sees a little engraved note.
Nya-nya! Stupid kid! I took the fastenings off the necklace when I gave this thing too you! Didn't you realize? THIS THINGS PLASTIC! HAHAHA! STUPID IDIOT
Signed- Uriel Septim, Emperor.
"Bastard." Said Shadow in disgust. He looked up the hill, and saw the walls of the city, and started scaling the steep slopes.
Later that night, Shadow was running for his life towards the gates of the Imperial City, from a gang of Imps with tiny little moustaches, brandishing lead pipes and switchblades at him. When he reached the door, the two guards stepped up to the plate, and took five of them out in two strokes, and caught the last one, tied him up to a large wooden pole, and rolled him down the large slope leading to the stables. They could hear him rolling down, and screaming out curses in what appeared to be Russian. How the imp new Russian was beyond Shadow, considering that he was raised in Cyrodil, he knew this because he and the Imp went to school together!
Flashback!
"Hey Joey! Lets go solve some mysteries!" Said a very tiny-looking Shado, still in his leather armor, just wearing a beanie.
"BLAH!" screamed Joey the imp, and a surge of lightning blasted Shadow through a window.
End Flashback!
As Shadow came out of his daydream, he heard the unmistakable sound of an Imp being torn apart by a group of Mudcrabs dressed as the Spanish Inquisition. This was another one of Shadows amazing powers; he could HEAR what people were wearing.
"Hey! Did you hear that?" said the first guard to his partner.
"Yeah! It sounded like that imp was torn apart and ravenously eaten by some mudcrabs!" replied the second guard.
"Do you want to go find out what they were wearing? Because I'm sure if we ran down there NOW, we'd be able to see them still."
While the guards were wrapped up in their conversation, they didn't hear our hero sneaking up on them, intent on taking their swords.
"Hey! What are you doing?" said the first guard as he saw the Imperial behind them.
"Ummm…" said Shadow, struggling for something to say. "Giving you the gift of friendship?" he said hopefully.
"That is a poor lie my good sir, NO ONE would believe it." Said the first guard, unaware that his partner was searching like a madman saying; "Where's mine? How come I didn't get the gift of friendship?"
"Here's a deal," said Shadow, feeling his years of training as a Con Man starting to come back with the most important lesson of all: persuasion. "How about you don't arrest me, if I save you the trouble of going down to the bottom of the hill, and just TELL you what the mudcrabs were wearing?"
"Okay, but this had BETTER be good!" said the first guard, as his partner looked inside his helmet.
"Is my friendship in here?"
"Shut up and let him finish, Larry!"
"Okay, they were dressed as the Spanish Inquisition." Said Shadow with a smirk.
"That would be so adorable!" said Larry, pausing as he searched through his boots, "Right Bill?"
"Yeah, it would!" said Bill, looking misty-eyed. "But still," he said, raising his hand to his sword hilt, "THE JOKES ON YOU BEEOTCH!"
And the next thing he knew, Shadow was in jail.
"DAMN IT! I JUST GOT OUT OF ONE OF THESE!" he yelled, and the warden threw a stone at him from a bucket labeled: "Beatin' Rocks"
When Shadow got out of jail, he decided to go searching around the city for somewhere to sell his merchandise. Being somewhat of an appraiser, he registered what he had collected from the sewers to bring in a good five-thousand gold, if not more.
"WHAT!" He screamed in the face of the tiny man behind the counter of the Copious Coin Purse, "TWO THOUSAND? THAT'S IT?"
"Yes! Now take it or leave it my Imperial friend. I suggest you take it."
" Why don't I just go to one of your competitors for a better price huh?"
"Because I have the best prices in town! Didn't you hear about what a cheap-ass I am?" he said, still with that annoying grin on his face.
"FINE!" yelled Shadow, and he took his meager sum, and started to wander about town.
"Hmm, what should I do now?" he asked himself, and he started wandering around aimlessly, until he ran into someone, who pressed a large piece of parchment onto him.
"Here's a copy of the Black Horse Courier my friend, don't be shy, here! Take it!" and with that, he ran off to press papers on more unwilling recipients, but, since he had nothing better to do, Shadow figured he may as well find himself a seat somewhere.
Shadow had just finished the jumble, when something caught his eye:
Cheap Luxurious HouseFor sale or for rent
Inquire at the office of Imperial Commerce
And with that, he ran to the office, and talked to the woman behind the desk.
"I'm here to inquire about the house!" he said, huffing and puffing.
"Well then! It looks like you're in luck! I haven't yet sold it to anyone, the price is two thousand gold, do you want it?" said the woman cheerily.
"Two thousand! I'LL TAKE IT!" yelled Shadow, and with that, he bolted off in the direction of his new acquisition.
"This place SUCKS!" he yelled, when he got through the door of his new 'house'. "This is not a house! This is ONE ROOM! It doesn't even have a table! Just a bed and a fireplace! I am AGHAST beyond my wildest dreams!" It was then that he got a knock on the door, and he opened it up to see a very old dark elf woman standing there, and she pressed a note on him.
"Take this, it's from a friend." She said, almost seductively.
Shadow just stood there for a moment. "Are you hitting on me or something?"
And with that, he was promptly kicked in the nuts.
Later that night, Shadow was in the garden of Dereloth, talking to an argonian named Amusei.
"So what the hell kind of a name is Shadow?" asked Amusei.
"What the hell kind of a name is Amusei?" he replied.
By the time Armand Christophe arrived, the two were already well into the deciding rounds of 'Wanna Know how I Know You're Gay?'.
"You two! The lizard and the one with the fairy boy blonde hair and blue eyes! Shut up and listen! I want you idiots to steal, I don't know, SOMETHING! I can't really think straight right now, I got hung over last night." He sounded completely miserable. And of course, our hero decided to make it worse by just being himself.
"WHAT? MY FAIRY-BOY EARS CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART? WANNA KNOW HOW I KNOW YOU'RE GAY?"
"Shut up! Why are you here anyway?" said Armand, annoyed. Armand took the note that Shadow was holding out to him, and quickly read it.
"Okay, we have a winner." Said Armand, almost falling asleep.
"WHAT!" yelled both Methredel and Amusei, "WHY?"
"Because he's the only one who came with a recommendation from the Grey Fox!"
"The what now?" asked Shadow, but no one heard him.
"Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to sleep." And he fell backwards over the wall and smashed his skull. No one helped him, because Amusei and Methredel were too angry with him, and Shadows an idiot.
Authors Notes! YEAH!
Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story! I liked all the positive ones, and if there weren't so many positive ones as oppose to the negative, I don't think I would have written this. I was kinda in a rut about my writing. I hope you all look foreword to the next instalment, and by the way; this is MY fanfic, and I'll write it however I goddamn feel like it. By the way, I hope you enjoy how I described stuff.