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A/N: This is pretty much me getting out my own personal issues. But of course being the writer and fanfiction aficionado I am, I put it in fanfic form and assigned it my favorite ship. So, anyways, true story. Enjoy.

Warning: Implied slash.

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TRUST

They don't trust him. They like him… well, they accept him anyway. Because they're my friends. They have to. But they don't trust him.

They love me. And I….. well, I love him.

I love them too. That is why it makes me so sad.

They've warned me. Be rational. Think with your head. Always think with your head. Your heart may lead you astray. So may other body parts.

But my head has lead me astray just as many times as my heart. I over-think. I ruin it. I kill it.

Isn't it time, for once, I trust my heart to find the one I love? That is, after all, it's duty. To love.

I love them. They are my best friends. They would go to hell and back with me… or for me. They only have my best interest in mind. That is what they keep telling me.

So do I have my worst interest in mind?

You're blinded by your own emotions. They tell me that to. We have the unbiased view, they tell me, the outside view.

The outside view.

How can anyone know what's really going on inside while standing on the outside?

They don't know him like I do. It sounds cliché… childish. But it's true. They see what everyone else sees. I see more. I have the inside view. Am I blinded by emotion? Am I seeing only what I want to see? Believing only what I want to believe?

You love him. Of course you believe him. You want to.

Why should they trust him? They have no reason to. What has he done to show them he's trustworthy?

Well, what has he done to show me? Nothing really.

He looks at me with those deep gray eyes…. That look… and he smiles at me… and the smile touches his eyes…. And I trust him.

Why shouldn't I? Innocent until proven guilty.

But not to them.

They want to see me happy. That's probably the only reason they accept him. Because he's made me happier than I've been in a long time. They see the change.

But they worry. It's their job. They are my best friends. I love them. I trust them. I value every word and opinion they may have.

But every time she tells me she doesn't trust him, every time he tells me of these alleged "warning signs," every time she says her gut – her intuition – is telling her I'm going to end up hurt, my stomach wrenches, twisting in agony. I feel my eyes well up. The pain of knowing that they don't trust him – will probably never really trust him – is nearly unbearable.

Maybe he will hurt me. Maybe he won't. Maybe he'll stir in me feelings I've never felt – never even dreamed of.

Maybe I just have to wait and find out. Maybe I have to let myself be vulnerable. Maybe I need to feel, and not think.

Maybe I'll get hurt. Maybe they'll get the satisfaction of saying, we told you so.

Or maybe…..

So many maybe's. I just don't know. I can't know. Neither can they.

A tear slides down my cheek. It hurts so much. I want to ask him. But that's ridiculous.

My friends say you'll hurt me. Do you really love me? Can I really trust you? Or are you going to show me the door when all is said and done. After you get what you want, will you still love me? Or… am I what you want? Can I trust you? Or should I break your heart before you can break mine?

But no. That would break my heart. To see him hurt would tear my heart in two. I want to see him happy. I want to give him everything he wants and more.

That's what they are afraid of. I can't be trusted with my own heart, so it seems. And he most certainly can't be trusted with it.

I don't understand? What do they see in him? Have I missed some vital clue? Some terribly important signal I simply didn't see because I've been blinded my emotion?

Am I stupid to give my heart away so quickly like this? Isn't it more stupid to let something so powerful – so beautiful - slip through my fingers because of what might happen?

Maybe I have to take a risk. The greater the risk, the greater the reward, so I'm told.

I may get hurt.

But then again, who knows?

They don't rust him. I don't know what to believe.

I think love is a risk I'm willing to take.