Edited/rewritten in October 2006. Read, enjoy, and review if you haven't read before.
Will contain slash (boy hearts boy) so if you don't like, you can read, but you mustn't flame because I've warned you.
Darry had fallen asleep with his arms on the bed, his head resting on his hands. He woke with Justin curled around him. The zip up sweatshirt wasn't zipped and Darry's eyes widened. He'd never noticed how built Justin was. He pushed himself up and yawned. Justin's wiry arms cushioned his delicately lined face and Darry smiled. He looked better just for having slept eight hours. Justin stirred awake and squinted as morning light slid through the curtains. Justin groaned.
"You know it's a good day when you don't know where you wake up." Justin rolled to the floor and stayed down for a minute on the opposite side.
"You okay?"
"I didn't mean to do that." Justin said. Darry walked to the other side and picked Justin up, replacing him in the bed.
"I'm going to make breakfast, you just take it easy." Darry said.
"All right. Jeez, next thing you'll tell me not to drink and drive." Justin muttered. Darry narrowed his eyes at Justin.
"Still a little juiced up?" Darry asked.
"Yes." Justin said, pulling the blanket over his head.
Justin wandered out a while later, yawning. He needed a shower and clothes. His jeans had blood streaks and the sweatshirt was Darry's size. Pony sat on the couch and looked up.
"Good morning sleepy head." Pony glanced at him and winced. "Get in a fight?"
"More or less." Pony noted that Justin looked like standing was causing him pain. He seemed hazy too. Steve came wandering in from the kitchen, the Curtis hangover cure in his hand. It was an unknown mixture of random common ingredients that only Darry had a command of. That was a safeguard to ensure Darry knew who was hung over (and had been drinking the before) and when. He circled Justin with a calculating stare and whistled.
"Good morning my sleeping beauty."
"Good morning my beast." Justin rolled his eyes. Steve sat on the couch and stared up at Justin.
"Come sit down." Steve patted his lap in an unattractive "seductive" manner and chuckled. He expected Justin to play along. He was a strange boy when he was hung over.
"I don't think I like that." Justin said, smiling. Two Bit came up behind him and pitched him into Steve's lap. Steve wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled.
"So what all happened to you? Have a rough night."
"Looks like he's having a rough morning." Soda said, sitting on the couch beside Steve, ignoring Justin in his lap. If Justin wanted to escape, he'd either have to get up from Steve's lap or switch to Soda's. Steve's grip was making him squirm. Steve thought they were playing but Justin had a genuine reason to dislike his predicament. He didn't like being manhandled and he didn't like when Steve treated him like another little high schooler to mess around with.
"Steve, let me up." Justin said, his green eyes not so hazy anymore.
"Come on Steve. He's done playing." Pony said.
"Aww come on. Make yourself comfortable and tell us your story." Steve said. Justin narrowed his eyes and Pony recognized anger long before anyone else did.
"I got in a fight. Big deal. Little guys make easy targets and so on, let me go." Justin said.
"You usually aren't this touchy and that doesn't sound like a full story." Steve said, gripping him tighter.
"Let me go now." Justin said. Everyone looked at him as Steve released him without another word. No one had ever heard that tone from Justin. Justin was soft spoken and his voice didn't have a hard edge. It was almost like Dally had just muttered a command through his clenched teeth.
"Touchy." Steve said.
"I wasn't going to patronize you by saying I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it with you." Justin said.
"Oh?" Steve said.
"Yes oh. That was an explanation enough for you." Justin said. Pony knew he was flaming now.
"Really? I don't think I'm the only reason you're angry now." Steve stood up looked at Justin. They were about the same height but Justin was thinner and angrier. Pony wouldn't want to see Steve if a fight broke out.
"You're very correct. People like you are what really irritate me." Justin said.
"People like me? Are you assuming to know something about me?" Steve said.
"I know enough from your actions. You only pretend to care about me so you can push me around because you think you have the power to, or maybe the right to. Here's a bit of information for you Steve, you can't push me around and if you try I won't hesitate to sincerely hurt you. I have a spine."
"Sincerely hurt me? Is that what you did to whoever hurt you last night? Was that before or after a trip to the ER? Did Darry do the sincere hurting for you?" Steve laughed.
"I don't need my friends to do my dirty work for me." Justin hissed.
"You consider me dirty work?"
"I consider cowards dirty work." Justin spat.
"Cowards? I'm a coward now?" Steve said.
"Yes. You're hiding behind a very thin friendship so you can push me around because it makes you feel big." Justin said. Pony and Soda exchanged glances. He was right. Steve was always too rough with Justin and Justin hadn't said anything to a point. It wasn't friendly with Steve and Justin. Justin sensed hostility and decided it was time to stop it. Pony wondered what exactly happened to Justin to make him set Steve straight.
"If I wanted to push you around, I wouldn't need to hide behind a friendship." Steve said.
"Well then why the hell did you even try?" Justin asked.
"I don't want to push you around kid." Steve said, blinking and turning away.
"Well then act like it you God damned moron. You can tell when someone isn't up for your quality shit." Justin trembled and headed for the door. God he needed a real home.
"Justin, where are you going?" Darry grabbed his wrist and he yelped. Darry hadn't noticed the stitches on his wrists last night. He noticed now but didn't say anything, he just dropped Justin's wrist, giving him a very shaken look.
"For a walk."
"I don't think you should be going for a walk alone-"
"I'll tag along." Soda bounded along and Darry blinked at Justin who didn't meet his eyes.
Justin didn't end up walking far. He was hurt worse than he thought. He collapsed on a bench, puling his knees to his chin, arms wrapping around his legs. Soda plopped next to him and looked at him.
"You've been through a lot, haven't you?" Soda asked.
"Everyone has a past." Justin said. He buried his face in his knees, trembling. Soda wondered if he was crying. There must've been another reason for him to flip out at Steve. Steve had an interesting personality that could rub people the wrong way but it usually only bothered a friend when they had past experiences with some one like Steve.
"Yeah." Soda said, blinking at him. Justin looked up and Soda was started and relieved by the absence of tears.
"What happened to Johnny and Dally?" Justin asked.
"Pony didn't tell you?" Soda said, guarding his true response.
"A general idea." Justin didn't need to explain Pony's general idea; Soda knew it would've been simple. Their friends died. It was hard.
"Why are you asking me?" Soda asked.
"If I ask you, I won't have to ask anyone else." Justin said. He didn't need to explain that Soda was a lot like reading something in the third person; he would understand how everyone else felt but to understand what Soda felt he would have to pay very close attention.
"Bad things happened." Soda said, looking away from Justin. Justin turned his gaze down to the ground.
"A very Pony like response. Did I ask a taboo question?" Justin asked.
"No. I just don't think about it anymore." Soda said.
"Why not?" Justin asked.
"It always hurts. I can remember them so well it seems like they should still be here. When you realize they aren't, it hurts. Sometimes it's better not to think about them." Soda said.
"But you still remember them?" Justin said.
"Yes. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I forgot. But I can't remember them without knowing they're gone and that nothing can change it." Soda said.
"That must hurt." Justin said.
"Yes, but sometimes I forget. I remember them so well I can almost convince myself that they're still around, that I'll see them soon. Then it's like you wake up and realize that you are completely wrong." Soda shook his head. "Never mind. I'm not making any sense."
"No, I understand you Soda. You miss them so much it's almost like they should still be here, like they should be with you, even though they haven't been with you for a long while." Justin said.
"Yeah." Soda swallowed and Justin shivered. It was too cold to wander outside in a baggy sweatshirt.
"Is it worth being able to remember them?" Justin asked.
"Of course. I would rather be able to think of them as living even if they're dead than just always thinking of them as dead." Soda blinked away tears.
"I'm sorry for you Soda." Justin said, touching his knee for a split second. Soda appreciated the gesture since Justin didn't touch anyone willingly.
"Have you ever lost someone Justin?" Soda asked.
"I've lost a lot of people but I wish I didn't remember them." Justin said. He got up, rubbing his arms. "It's cold out. We should head back."
"What are you going to say to Steve?" Soda asked, getting up.
"Does it matter?" Justin said.
"Yes." Soda said.
"He isn't going to change the way he acts around me. If I want to change the situation, I have to act differently. That's how people like Steve work with people like me." Justin said.
"What do you mean by that?" Soda asked.
"People like me can bring out very unfortunate personality traits in people that are otherwise decent until they're aren't decent anymore." Justin said.
"That's not true. Steve is struggling because of everything that's happening, you didn't provoke anything." Soda said.
"Yes I did. Steve isn't the first person that this has happened to. Steve will probably be strong enough to change the way he deals with people since he has friends like you." Justin said.
"What do you mean? What other people?" Soda said.
"Everyone has a past." Justin shrugged and Soda blinked.
"You aren't usually this cryptic." Soda said.
"I'm not usually this juiced up or pissed off." Justin shrugged his shoulders. "Actually, a more accurate description would be that I'm coming down from the pain killers rather unpleasantly."
Next chappie should be out soon. In the mean time, you know what to do. I'm hearing mixed reviews for couples but everyone wants Justin to get some loving. Hehe. You reviewers roc my socs.
Luvs, the crazy one who needs to be medicated.
Edited/rewritten a touch, you know the deal. You peeps reading from the awards, you should review because it would validate my efforts and make me do a dance…