Edited and rewritten in October 2006… If you're this far, you understand the concept…
Slash (boy hearts boy) is a part of this fanfic… You've been warned.
Darry drove to find Soda and Justin and found them sitting on a curb a few blocks from the house. Soda was lighting a cigarette and handed it to Justin. Darry had never seen Justin smoke; it only added to the strange beauty he possessed. It added to it without making him seem gritty. He always seemed clean, pristine, and almost pure. Something dark lingered in him. Pain marked him.
"Hey Darry." Soda said as Darry reached across the truck, unlocking the door.
"Hey Soda, Justin. Are you ready to go home?" Darry asked.
"No." Justin said. Darry and Soda exchanged glances and Darry got out. Soda took the keys and started the truck, heading for home. Darry sat next to Justin. Justin trembled in the cold and Darry sighed, putting his jacket around Justin. Justin took a drag from the cigarette and stifled a cough. Darry chuckled. He'd never seen Justin smoke because Justin didn't smoke.
"I meant our home." Darry said. Justin blinked.
"You want me in your house?" Justin asked.
"I don't want you where ever you've been living." Darry touched a line of stitches on his face and Justin flinched.
"You have a point. I kind of over reacted at Steve, didn't I?" Justin asked.
"No. I wouldn't have taken that kind of treatment from Steve." Darry said.
"But you're Darry. I'm, little." Justin said.
"Doesn't make a difference." Darry said. Justin wasn't just the little guy. Justin was the one who got Soda to talk about how he felt without making Soda feel guilty. He was the one who got Pony to talk at all. He talked to Two Bit about the things Two Bit said that no one else really understood. Steve was the only one to pull him around and treat him like a sack of hay.
"What am I supposed to do then?" Justin said.
"Be yourself." Darry said. Darry realized Justin changed for everyone. He always listened but he was different with everyone. Darry wondered if he knew who he was. Maybe that was why he was so quiet when they were all around. He didn't know who to please and who to disappoint.
"That's very original Darrel." Justin said, smiling. "And I can tell that wasn't what you were thinking." Justus got up, stretching and the cigarette shifted in his lips, bobbing.
"Oh, what are you a mind reader all the sudden?" Darry asked as he walked beside Justin.
"Doesn't take a mind reader to interpret that expression." Justin said.
"I was just thinking about something." Darry said.
"I would never have guessed." Justin said, smiling. "What were you thinking about?"
"I never really talk to you, do I?" Darry asked.
"Do you really think in questions Darrel?" Justin asked, his grin widening and his eyes glinting in the morning sun.
"It's a complicated thought process. Don't dodge the question Justin." Darry said, smiling to keep the lighter mood despite a serious conversation topic.
"Not very often and not for any length of time. Why does it matter?" Justin asked.
"I dunno. Everyone else talks to you a lot but most of the time when I see you you're with everyone else and we don't talk much." Darry said.
"I didn't think we needed to. I understand you enough to know I can count on you. Anything beyond that has to be you wanting to get to know me." Justin said.
"Is that why you called me?" Darry asked.
"I called you because I trust you more than anyone else I know. I can trust you because you're responsible and the closest thing to an adult as I'm comfortable with in my life." Justin said.
"Kinda like I'm your brother?" Darry asked.
"No." Justin's intense reply and sudden silence, eyes widened in remembrance, made Darry wonder if he touched a nerve.
"I didn't know you had a brother." Darry said.
"It's not something I usually talk about." Darry noticed how tense Justin seemed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Darry asked. Justin shook his head. "Tell me. Please." Darry said. He wanted to deserve the trust Justin had in him.
"I don't know where to start." Justin said. Darry stopped him from walking and they sat down on the curb again. Darry noted that he ground the cigarette under his heel and ran his hands through his hair, very shaken.
"You haven't thought about it in a while." Darry said.
"How can you tell?" Justin laughed, just as shaken by Darry's response.
"I get the same way sometimes." Darry said.
"When someone talks about Johnny and Dally?" Justin asked.
"Yeah." Darry said.
"I don't think I'll ever know how much that hurt." Justin said, looking at Darry.
"You lost your entire family." Darry said.
"They're alive." Justin said.
"I figured that but they're no good to you now." Darry said.
"You're right." Justin said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Tell me about them." Darry said. Justin met Darry's eyes for a moment and looked away.
"All right. My parents weren't ready for children and there should've been a law preventing them from reproducing, especially after my brother. I don't know why they bothered with two kids." Justin stopped, trembling and shifting, his eyes glistening.
"It's okay Justin. They aren't here now." Darry pulled him closer without resistance and Justin leaned on his shoulder. Justin had always felt torn up inside but he was waiting for someone to lean on.
"My brother is your age. He got the brunt of the physical pain from our parents. That's probably why he's so messed up now." Justin fidgeted in Darry's grip and Darry pulled him closer, feeling his need for someone he trusted to hold him.
"Did he protect you?"
"No. He was more of a target than I was but he never protected me. He turned his aggression and other emotions on me." Justin said.
"What do you mean?" Darry asked.
"I mean his mood swings make this damage seem mild. It's not just that, after I left, it's like people can tell I was abused. It attracts the kind of people that want to hurt me." Justin said. "I don't know how or why but it does."
"Does this have to do with last night?" Darry asked.
"Yes. My God damned landlord ran out of porn movies and wanted to try something on me." Justin scoffed to rebuff tears. Darry remembered Justin's wrist and wondered whether that was an intentional injury.
"What did you do?" Darry asked.
"What do you think? I fought him and got my ass kicked when he had someone bigger than me fight for him." Justin said, pulling away and putting his head in his hands.
"What happened?" Darry asked.
"What do you think? I was placed in a real life, low budget porn which ended when I tried to off myself." Justin spat.
"How did you get to the emergency room?" Darry asked.
"I'm assuming he called it in." Justin said, trying not to cry.
"Why?" Darry asked.
"Why do you think Darry? I'm the kind of person that people enjoy screwing with. I attract the kind of people that want to hurt me and keep hurting me." Justin said.
"That's not true Justin." Darry said.
"What isn't true? What kind of people did I end up with as a family? And here? I'm damn lucky I ended up with your family." Justin said. Darry understood why Justin had been so angry with Steve. He was terrified Steve was just another person who would hurt him.
"People see what a nice person you are, and nice people can be taken advantage of by the wrong kind of people. There isn't anything wrong with that." Darry said.
"I'm not a nice person Darry." Justin said.
"Then how did you end up here with people that genuinely care for you?" Darry asked. Justin looked at Darry and blinked.
"Luck?" Justin said.
"You deserve to be with people who love you Justin." Darry said. Justin wiped his tears away and Darry released him.
"Thank you counselor Curtis, I'm ready to go home now." Justin got up and turned his back to Darry. Darry blinked at his tense posture, legs spread and arms crossed, his shoulders drawn tight.
"It isn't your fault people have hurt you Justin." Darry said.
"I know. It's my fault that I can't ever stop it."
It's a little bitter on Justin's side but I'm trying to tell you all why he's so crazy and high strung and why he hasn't chosen a lovey buddy. I'm still deciding... I am a tease but it's kinda fun. I should warn you, next chapter is some serious fluff. Like, hard core fluff. I'm taking couple suggestions but I will say many peeps kinda hit on Justin since he's a little less wired now, maybe calming down maybe not. Thanks to you reviewers, you make me laugh and smile, no crying though, that's good. More hot brother mentioning too since it's an obvious problem... Leave me some luvin' or hatin' and couples suggetin'. I'ma go take my allergy medicine and study espanol. Luvs til next time.
It's been edited since first edition but most of it remained surprisingly intact…