Edited in October 2006. Contains slash (boy hearts and has sex with boy) so be warned.
Justin started looking for his own apartment and he noticed that everyone was together more often. It was good because they were all close but it was bad because they were close enough to notice if Darry and Justin disappeared. They would never assume anything but they'd look for the two. There would be no "alone time" for them until Justin found an apartment, that much was clear. That was quite a motivation to find and rent his own apartment and fast.
A week had passed and Justus needed more of Darry. It wasn't a question of wanting him anymore, no, it was a question of waiting until they were alone.
The gang all piled into a borrowed car and drove to the drive in. It was a change of pace since they usually sat in the seats but a car usually prevented noise complaints from the other moviegoers. It was very dark since it was wintertime and they were jammed in that car.
Two Bit was trashed and in the back seat with Darry and Justin. Pony, Soda and Steve were in the front seat making noise and not paying much attention to the movie or the back seat. Darry was pressed close to Justin and rested his hand on Justin's knee, his fingers rubbing at odd intervals. Justin fidgeted and Two Bit occasionally snored or woke with a grumbling comment or outburst or demand for a chocolate bar. Justin wasn't focused on Two Bit though because Darry's hand inched higher until it rested very high on Justin's thigh. He glared at Darry. They were in the back seat but Pony was the only one paying attention to the movie. Steve and Soda were adding their commentary in between thumb wars and candy bars.
Darry continued toying with Justin by tickling his thigh but Justin didn't play. He made a swift motion and his hand ran along Darry's waist, stroking Darry through his jeans while his emerald eyes pierced Darry's. Darry gasped. Pony glanced back but Justin was watching the movie intently, his arms folded across his chest.
"Something wrong Darry?" Pony asked.
"Short stuff elbowed me because I was dozing off." Darry grumbled, pulling Justin into a headlock and rubbing his hair. When Pony turned, Darry kissed Justin's forehead and muttered into his ear. "I'll get you for that."
"Promises promises." Justin muttered, kissing Darry's arm as it lingered around him.
(la la la)
When they drove home Darry waited until he heard every bedroom door slam and then another ten minutes. Soda and Pony were tired; they had to be asleep by then. Darry had tossed the covers to get up when his door cracked open, revealing a dim lit hall and Justin. Justin was wearing his boxers and nothing else, his happy trail exposed as he blinked.
"May I come in?" Justin asked.
"If you don't come in I'll take you in the hallway." Darry muttered, chuckling.
"So complimentary."
Justin came in, locking the door and walking to Darry's side of the bed. They hadn't found time to be together since that first night but Darry would always make sure Justin knew that he loved him. Sometimes it would be a rather odd expression. A wrestling match had broken out earlier in the week and Darry noted the gang was a ways off, and he tackled the unaware Justin, pinning his wrists and kissing him. Justin smiled and rolled over, starting a real wrestling match that ended in Darry's submission and a few moments of Justin's tongue exploring Darry as his hips undulated against Darry's. The flashes of shame and uncertainty were fading away. Darry pulled him down and kissed him.
"Any luck on that apartment?" Darry asked.
"Ah huh." Justin kissed the hollow of Darry's throat, his voice purring at a strange guttural volume.
"And?"
"And I found someone who'll sublet an apartment to me for very little money so long as he can use the couch when he crashes into town." Justin pressed closer to Darry. "Can we move on now?"
"I've never had anyone in my bed before you." Darry said, looking up at Justin.
"Is that supposed to be a turn on? It'd be a turn on if you made that shirt scarce." Justin was working with the buttons on Darry's flannel pajama shirt.
"It's supposed to tell you how much I love you and that you're different from anyone I've ever met." Darry said, letting the smaller boy pull his shirt off.
"I would assume that since I'm on top of you, almost naked and pulling your clothes off, but the assurance is nice." Justin lowered himself to Darry's side, letting Darry deal with his pants.
"You aren't in the mood for conversation." Darry said, chuckling as he shucked off his pants.
"We could've held a conversation in the car but you had to torture me. Conversation is for when we both can't move anymore." Justin said.
"I don't picture you as a pillow talker."
"Me? You're the one who passes out instantaneously." Justin scoffed and Darry rolled onto him after stripping all remaining clothing.
"Not instantly. Just quickly. Besides, it's better than that couch you sleep on. I was thinking of coming out but then I remembered you barely fit on it so I'd probably fall off in the middle of, it." Darry blushed and Justin laughed under him.
"In the middle of what?" Justin's voice almost growled as Darry kissed his neck.
"In the middle of you, I guess. But yeah, it isn't because I didn't want to be with you, I just didn't want to do it on a very unstable couch in ear shot of the gang." Darry said.
"I know." Justin said. A few moments passed, Justin arching under Darry and soft groans and sighs the only sounds.
"So tell me Justin, does this apartment of yours have a spacious couch?"
(la la la)
Justin was in the shower before anyone was awake and started when the door eased open. Darry slid in and was stripping what few clothes he wore.
"Jesus, you scared the crap out of me Darrel." Justin said, glaring from behind the shower curtain. "And I thought we were being inconspicuous?" Strands of his hair were already dripping wet, dangling in front of his eyes.
"Bah. They'll never know. You get up early. We'll have time to snuggle on the couch." Darry said, sliding in and pulling Justin close. Close enough to rest against Darry's erection and feel the hardness pressed against him.
"More like you'll have time to make breakfast." Justin shivered and Darry held him closer, licking stray water droplets from his skin until they were both under the stream. He sucked on Justin's shoulder as water trailed across their frames.
"What are we doing today?" Darry asked as Justin leaned back against him.
"Wandering around. It's Saturday, right?"
"Yeah." Darry said.
"Do you work?"
"Yeah. I get off at five. It's going to be a long day, more so for you than me." Darry purred and Justin could appreciate the reverberations when Darry's chest pressed to his. Darry made a very shallow thrust and Justin groaned despite the lack of penetration. The mere motion of his erection against Justin was making them both horny.
"I'll find something to do until then."
(la la la)
Justin's something was wandering around with Pony and Two Bit (after hot and steamy shower sex). Soda and Steve worked on Saturdays for a few hours. Two Bit eventually wandered off and Justin yawned. He was the victim of lassitude induced by long nights with Darry's natural, someone lascivious tendencies for making long nights longer.
He got in his truck and Pony was the quiet shadow beside him. Pony was his "something to do" while Darry was gone. He felt guilty that their friendship had quailed because Justin and Darry succumbed to a combination of lust and necessity. Justin wondered if his need for Darry was as transparent as he felt it was. He wondered if he would be like an addict, suffering from withdrawal and going innately insane upon an absence of Darry. He knew he needed Darry that much but wondered if it would be that obvious.
"I found an apartment, want to come look at it?" Justin asked. He'd almost forgot the shadow beside him had brought him to Darry's house in the first place. Justin blinked. He needed to tone his Darry craving self down a touch. He was being wildly licentious.
"Sure."
Justin pulled into the cozy, well kept parking lot that boasted its well kept nature through the spotless ground and dozens of flowers, wild and otherwise, hanging or growing up walls, hiding ugly, fading brick that had once been just as well kept.
"Nice ivy." Pony said.
"Yeah. I saw some lady cutting it the other day and she said she needed it for church services. She said she was a tree hugger and ivy kills trees. A little manic." Justin said, unlocking the door. He opened it and motioned Pony in.
Pony sat on the black leather couch and chuckled. Justin wondered too if the previous occupant often wooed ladies in the darkly decorated dwelling. It was more like a lair of all that was manly and cheap (besides the couch). It had one bedroom with a queen bed, a kitchen and a living room besides a bathroom with washer and dryer. Justin didn't particularly care about the amenities since his name wasn't nominally attached to the apartment.
"Do you want a soda Pony?" Justin walked from his bedroom to where Ponyboy had been sitting but Pony stood in his path, blocking him in the hall without seeming imposing. "Want to see my room?" Justin asked, unable to think another reason to Pony's sudden proximity.
"I need to talk to you." Pony's voice was unusually husky. He put an arm on the wall near Justin and came closer, Justin willingly backing the wall, watching Pony's eyes.
"About what?" Justin said, leaning on the wall. Maybe if Pony could see Justin trusted him, he would calm down.
"Our friendship." Pony said, gazing into Justin's eyes unflinchingly.
"What about it Pony? You know you're a very close friend. You're more like family to me than anyone I've known." Justin's family reference was an effort to put some distance between them and transmit the idea that a platonic relationship was good. He also felt the intended embrace before Pony initiated it or dared think it.
"Could we be more?" Pony asked. He was sincere and waiting for a response. Pony always kept a level head at least.
"I don't know that you want me as anything other than a friend Pony. I don't think you do." Justin said, his voice soft. Pony leaned closer and held Justin's jaw, tilting it up to his lips and pulling Justin closer until they both leaned on the wall as Pony very deliberately kissed Justin.
"How do you know that?" Pony breathed, hand brushing Justin's waist as Justin gasped.
"You deserve someone better. I have a past I'm not proud of, a present I'm scared of, and a future that is so undefined I don't think even God knows where I'm going and nothing in any of it would make me deserve you as anything more than the friend you've always been. And I don't even deserve that much Pony." Pony leaned in closer, putting insane pressure on every inch of Justin's body before placing his hand where the zipper of Justin's pants ended and lifting, pressing Justin into the wall. Pony kissed Justin again, his neck tilting back and Pony diving into his mouth, his jaw gliding against Justin's. Pony parted their lips a millimeter, afraid to lose Justin. Justin was afraid to acknowledge the burgeoning lust those touches had elicited.
"Justin-" He lifted on the zipper area again and Justin flinched, trying to get away. This was too much pressure and Darry had topped him before. Jesus Christ, he was Darry's, not anyone else's for touching.
"Pony, you have to stop now." Justin said, swallowing and trying to find space. God he wanted to run. He loved Darry in the way Pony loved him and Pony was treating him the way his brother had. God damn it, he thought, flinching. Why did the things he experienced now always have to tie to his past? He was tired of tracking through a past and hurting his future in the process.
"Why?" Pony asked.
"I, can't just be with you like this. There are too many things you don't know-"
"I thought we were close friends-" Pony said.
"Close friends keep secrets to save close friends pain. I can't love you like this." Justin's trembling was boarding a mental patients' and made his usual piercing gaze seem to beg. Pony dropped his grip and backed away, noting the gasp that signaled so much relief in Justin.
"Did you think I would-" Pony stopped the question when he saw how wild Justin's eyes were and remembered how untamed and insecure they were when their lips met.
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm sorry Justin. I should've-" Pony began and Justin held up his hand, weakly leaning on the wall. Justin seemed beyond shock and Pony wondered why. Justin was a bombshell to the gang. Everyone bonded to Justin immediately in very distinct ways. Pony wanted to know if there was something special about their relationship versus everyone else. There was but it was not that Justin wanted to be intimate. They were special because Justin bonded to Pony first and would continue to trust him even after being terrified he'd spend an ardent but unwanted night under the lusty Greaser.
Justin drove Pony home in silence and let the silence stay. He could've easily distracted Pony by talking about a book or a movie but he refrained. He was too shaken.
Pony was reserved. Pony was sensitive. Pony never exposed his feelings about relationships. Yet Pony was very frank about his feelings towards Justin. Justin wondered if the rest of the gang would dare be as frank. Two Bit was just like a brother; Steve liked girls and felt guilty about how he'd treated Justin so Justin wasn't concerned about them.
But Pony had made his feelings clear. Crystal clear. Justin shuddered. Whether it was his aggressive tongue or the more aggressive lift on his jeans, everything was crudely clear.
Soda. Soda treated Justin like a brother. Just like Pony only Soda was gentler and more affectionate. Justin almost hit his head on the steering wheel as he drove. Soda. He had to talk to Soda. Quickly. He was taken for God's sake. He was Darry's pet, not the gang's. He wanted Darry, not either of his brother's or anyone else. Maybe if he hadn't, no, he'd always been Darry's, from the instant those cold eyes looked him up and down and found something he wanted to love.
Pony got out of Justin's truck and Justin watched him walk to his house. Justin thought a moment and put his head on the steering wheel. Soda. What exactly did those looks he always gave Justin mean? He only questioned it because of Pony's looks and his misinterpretations.
"Dammit dammit dammit dammit." He dropped his forehead onto the wheel as if to articulate each curse and each hit was a different tone, much like a drum set. Where the hell was Darry? Justin had found more than enough to do.
Edited, bla bla you know the drill. How about a review? Validate my efforts in editing. Let me feel the love… (Tumble weed passes) Ouch guys, ouch.