Melt Your Heart
Full disclosure, this chapter is a monster. I've been toying with splitting it into two parts, but I finally decided it works better as one piece. Things get a *little* bit steamy at one point, but not enough to put it into the M rated category (I don't think so anyway). I should also confirm that I'm not Bruce Springsteen nor do I own the lyrics to 'Because the Night' - I have decided that canonically Sam is a Springsteen fan, though.
I hope you enjoy this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it and shoutout to xfphile for the support & encouragement when I was having second thoughts about it!
Chapter 15: Because the Night
Sam thought he had everything just about under control when he heard the knock on his front door. His stomach gave a flip of desire-tinged excitement he hadn't felt in much too long as he wiped his hands on a dish cloth and went to greet his guest.
He couldn't help but just stare for a second, before he blinked and invited her inside. She led the way through to the kitchen, familiar with the route now. It had been a while since she had last popped in with a Tupperware box of leftovers for him though, he had taken to eating at Grey House on those nights instead.
It would have taken a stronger man than him not to watch the way she walked in those tight black jeans, the heeled boots highlighting her gorgeous, endless legs.
Sam Radford knew then for sure that he was in completely over his head - he was drowning, but he didn't want to come back up to the surface.
Another thought occurred to him; how on earth was he supposed to concentrate on finishing fixing their dinner when she looked, and smelled, like that?
Maybe Ryan was right, perhaps he should have the fire department on standby, but for different reasons than the other man had suggested.
Cassie set the flower arrangement in the centre of the kitchen table.
"A gift from Abigail," she smiled and, feeling brave, she cautiously began to investigate what Sam had been doing in the kitchen before she arrived.
Her attention was caught by the bottle of red wine that had already been left open to breathe. She thought she could hear Bruce Springsteen playing softly in the background.
Because the night, indeed.
"I thought maybe we could prepare the meal together," Sam suggested, but he felt a little foolish about it now. He had invited her over for dinner, and now he was putting her to work. "I'd hate to give your food poisoning on our very first date."
Their very first date.
"That's okay, I know a good doctor."
It came out more flirtatiously than she had intended, but he was slowly and completely charming her. He hovered close behind her and she could smell the faint scent of his cologne. He looked as good as he smelled too, in his dark blue jeans with the navy and purple checked shirt tucked loosely at the waist. The material looked so soft she wanted to...no.
Not yet.
"Stephanie loaned me this," he continued, proffering a white chef's apron. "Clearly she has no faith in me, but I think even I can cope with a couple of steaks."
Cassie laughed lightly but it faded away as Sam looped the apron over her head and spun her so he could tie the string at her back.
It was hardly an intimate caress, and he didn't linger over it or use it as the opportunity, as some men would, to take advantage of being able to touch her. But with his breath on the back of her neck and his warm, competent fingers at her waist, it was hard not to succumb to a full body shiver.
The tension was mounting beyond what she felt comfortable with, and she needed to take a step back. But if she did that, it would lead her straight into Sam's arms.
He moved away from her, equally undone. He had so desperately wanted this time alone with her, but he realised that the twins, and Abigail to a certain extent, were a good buffer between them. Left to their own devices, anything could happen.
He didn't want anything to occur between them that she would later regret.
Dinner. That seemed like the safer option.
They worked remarkably well together, Sam noticed. He wasn't even feeling that far out of his depths, but then there was something about cooking a steak that brought back those caveman instincts he supposed.
"This is a nice treat," Cassie commented as she sliced cucumber and tomatoes for the salad, as adept with the paring knife as Sam was with a scalpel. She had a feeling that, like the apron, the knife might actually belong to Stephanie as well. "I don't normally have steak, the kids are a bit young to appreciate it and before we moved to Middleton, I'd usually just have whatever they were having."
"I'd love to have a barbecue out the back, but it seems kind of extravagant for one person," he said, stopping what he was doing to watch how effortlessly Cassie seemed to operate.
She looked damned cute in that apron as well.
She paused, looking up at him with her brow furrowed in thought.
"That might be nice for Grey House actually, especially in the spring and summer months," but she was already picturing a cosy patio set up, with a grill and fire pit, carved pumpkins and fairy lights. It was probably too late to work that into this year's Halloween plans, but it was something to consider for next year.
"I'm saying this completely impartially, but I wouldn't hate living next door to that," he grinned, popping a cherry tomato into his mouth.
"I don't want to overwhelm Abigail with all these ideas at once. Stephanie has been so good to me as well, so every time I make a suggestion that involves catering, I don't want to feel like I'm treading on her toes, or Abigail's."
"The way I see it," he replied, leaning against a kitchen counter. "Is that Abigail never really wanted to run a B&B, but she needed the money and it was lonely for her rattling around in there all by herself. I personally think she'd be relieved that you want to start taking the reins there, it gives her more time to focus on her true passion: the flower shop."
Cassie paused, knife poised above the stub of remaining cucumber. Well, that was certainly something to think about. As much as she was enjoying life in Middleton, she felt a little...directionless. The twins needed her less now they were settled in school and, although she enjoyed interacting with people and helping them find exactly what they were looking for, assisting Abigail at her flower shop wasn't quite the right fit.
"Aren't you impressed," he continued with a wink. "Cooking and giving advice, looks like you've been rubbing off on me."
Cassie swallowed. She could feel the tension between them again. Yes, there was a flirtatious hint in his tone (they were on a date after all) but she thought the statement itself had been innocent enough.
And then their eyes met.
Oh, that had been a mistake.
The insistent beeping of the oven timer broke the moment, and Sam went to rescue it before burning food added to the smouldering air in the room.
Cassie took a breath and set the knife down, she didn't quite trust herself with its sharp blade (it had to be one of Stephanie's, surely) while her heart was racing this fast.
Sam slid the tray back into the oven and reset the timer. Things were still going remarkably well, much better than the last time he had tried to cook for a woman. Who could have predicted that the same woman he had tried (and failed) to cook for the first time would the one who had coached him for this date.
Life was kind of funny like that, he supposed.
"So, what was it you attempted to cook for Stephanie?" Cassie asked.
If Sam was surprised that their trains of thought had intermingled, he didn't show it.
"Beef bourguignon," Sam replied sheepishly, but his French impression gave Cassie a little tickle of arousal. Why did everything he said have to sound so damn good?
"Wow," she raised her eyebrows. "That was...ambitious."
"I think ridiculous is the word you're looking for," he chuckled. "I swore I'd never cook for a woman again, but I guess I was wrong about that, too."
"This is great," she smiled. "Thank you for arranging this in a way that means I won't spend all evening worrying if the twins are okay."
He leaned in and kissed her cheek.
"You're welcome."
Her hands found their way to his waist, and she just held him for a second. Enjoying the feel of his warm, strong body so close to hers.
Sometimes she forgot just how lonely she was and how much she missed being held by a man who cared about her.
"Cassie," he sighed, pressing another soft kiss to her temple.
He wanted to say to hell with dinner and take her upstairs. But he was being a gentleman tonight and he was on his best behaviour.
They were saved for a second time but the oven beeping, and Sam really didn't want to ruin this meal when it had been going so well (run in with Ryan at the store notwithstanding).
Unfortunately the steaks were not going to grill themselves.
They finished preparing the rest of the meal in companionable silence, interrupted by brief chatter about the twins, the hospital, and the various goings on in Middleton, including the infamous Halloween committee.
"I never really got Halloween," Sam admitted when they were finally seated at the table with their loaded plates in front of them. He smiled at Cassie's quiet but theatrical gasp. "It's fine when you're a kid, but I mostly used to ignore it when I was in New York. I'd usually be working anyway."
"And living in Middleton hasn't changed your mind?"
"Now I just pretend to enjoy it because it's expected. Martha usually ropes me into something but I guess now you're on the committee I might be able to weasel my way out of the worst jobs."
"I don't know," Cassie replied with mock seriousness. "Now I know you don't like Halloween, you might have to be fully immersed in all it has to offer so you can see the true meaning of the holiday."
"Oh Cassie, you wouldn't..." Sam protested , but actually if it meant more time with her, and with the twins, well...he could think of worst ways to spend his weekend. That led him to wonder what costume Cassie might wear for Halloween, which was almost more enticing than the bite of steak that had been on its way to his mouth.
"Sam?" Cassie's voice broke into his reverie and he shook himself free.
One simple date at a time, he reminded himself.
He reached for the bottle of wine instead and topped off their glasses. It was a great vintage (thanks again, Stephanie!), and the meal itself had turned out pretty well. The company, of course, was excellent.
He lifted his glass, and she did the same.
"To our first date," he toasted.
"Our first date," she smiled back.
Sam put their plates into the dishwasher and they took their glasses of wine into the living room. Cassie stole a glance at her watch, surprised at how quickly the evening was going. The twins would be in bed by now, she thought. It was a rare occurrence indeed for her to not be the one putting them to bed, but she had complete faith in Abigail. How much popcorn and chocolate they had consumed thanks to her cousin was a different story altogether.
Cassie took a seat on the couch while Sam lit the fire and turned on the speakers so that the music played low and soft. He crossed the room to her, lifting the wine glass from her grip and setting aside, and then reaching for her hands.
"Sam, what are you...?" She laughed.
"Dance with me," he commanded, with a look in his eyes that she couldn't and didn't want to say no to.
"I don't really dance," she tried to protest.
Truth was, she hadn't danced with a man since Jake.
"Me neither, I'll try not to do you any permanent damage with my two left feet."
Their back and forth might be light-hearted, but as soon as they were in each other's arms, the mood change altogether.
Bruce Springsteen continued to croon in the background, his honeyed gravel tones had never sounded better.
'Come on now, try and understand
The way I feel when I'm in your hands…'
Sam had to force himself to keep his hands at her waist, but it was hard to be this close to her and hold himself back. She felt so good in his arms, the difference in their height made her the perfect dance partner and it made him shiver every time her fingertips toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck.
Slowly, deliberately he lowered his head until his lips met hers in what started as a slow, gentle kiss. It was Cassie who deepened it, feeling and sensing the iron grip Sam was keeping on his desires. He had been so patient and so restrained; the perfect gentleman. She wanted him to know that he didn't need to hold all of it back from her all the time.
Her hands slipped down to grip his upper arms, finding firm, well-muscled biceps beneath her fingers. The fabric of his shirt was as soft as she had imagined.
Sam moaned into the kiss as he felt Cassie's grip tighten on his arms. He pulled her closer, until her body was plastered against his. His tongue sought entry into her mouth, and her lips parted to let The palms of his hands were pressed flat against her back now, moulding her to him as he took her mouth.
Cassie was floating and drowning all at once. She wasn't sure she had ever felt or received passion like this before. It was a different beast altogether from what she had felt with Jake, and until recently she wouldn't have believed it was something she had the capacity for.
But now she wanted more.
"Sam," she panted as they separated, her hands smoothing up his chest until her hands rested on his broad shoulders.
"Too much?" He asked, cocking his head to one side and trying to get back onto some kind of even keel. It was difficult to do when she was still so close to him; when she was still touching him.
She shook her head, nibbling on her lower lip but meeting his eyes straight on.
He growled and dragged her to him again, drowning them both in another bruising kiss. His hands found their way until the soft material of her shirt, smoothing over the skin of her lower back and up her sides.
Cassie moaned at the feeling of his hands on her bare flesh. It had been so long since she had been touched like this. His mouth was hot and demanding against hers, but his fingertips stroked her with something like reverence.
They stumbled to the couch and Sam pulled her down onto his lap. He wasn't going to push her too much further, but he knew he was fast approaching the point where his control would snap. Biting down hard on his own wants, he drew her closer and kissed her more gently.
Cassie braced her hands on his shoulders, trying not to think about how their jeans and underwear were the only barrier between them and something much more intimate. But his kisses were sweeter now, still drugging but with less fire.
They were just as lethal.
His hands made their way up the sides of her body, tracing the swell of her breasts. Her breath hitched as Sam's fingertip traced a line from the outside of her breast to her nipple. It felt electric even through her shirt and bra.
She could only imagine what it would be like to feel his touch on her bare skin.
"You're so beautiful, Cassie..." he breathed, more shaken than he had perhaps ever been.
He realised in that moment that a woman had never meant more to him. And he'd been married.
Wordlessly, she took his hands and placed them over her covered breasts again. This was further than she'd intended to go tonight but with Sam it felt right. He was opening up reservoirs of feelings inside of her that she had thought were long dried up, if they had ever existed at all.
She knew that if he asked her to go upstairs with him now she wouldn't say no.
But, she had a feeling that this time he wouldn't.
She constantly surprised him, he realised, stunned beyond belief at her blatant invitation to keep touching her. He wouldn't push his luck, but he would give her just enough that she would know what she was letting herself in for when they finally took that next plunge.
Holding eye contact with her in a way that Sam had never realised could be so erotic, he worked open the first tiny button open. And then the next.
It was enough to reveal the tops of her full breasts and the lace cups of her white bra.
Christ, who was trying to seduce who here?
With his fingertip he trailed along top edge of her bra cups, his touch featherlight on her skin. Cassie sighed, for once focusing on nothing but her own needs, her own pleasure. Any other thoughts would have been forced out of her brain when Sam lowered his head to press a soft kiss to her exposed skin, then let his lips follow the same path that his finger had just travelled.
He was treating his seduction of her as if they had all the time in the world. She hoped they did.
"Sam," she cried as his tongue slid beneath the fabric to tease her nipple.
She tunnelled her fingers in his hair and closed her eyes, so gone in the pleasure he was bringing her that she didn't notice anything was wrong until the gorgeous sensations he was giving her stopped.
"Cassie, your phone," he said, his voice husky with desire.
"Oh."
On unsteady legs, Cassie went to retrieve her cell phone from her clutch bag she'd left draped over the back of the kitchen chair. The butterflies that had been happily dancing in her stomach turned to a lead weight.
Sam followed her out into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Abigail, please, slow down," she said, when her fingers cooperated enough to answer the call without hanging up or dropping the device altogether.
She turned away from Sam as she tried to decipher what her cousin was saying. He tried not to be hurt by that; tried not to feel like she was shutting him out.
"I'll be right there Abigail, please don't worry."
She ended the call and turned back to Sam, her shirt still gaping open from his earlier exploration of her body.
It felt like a lifetime ago.
"I'm so sorry Sam, I have to go. James has been poorly, and Abigail is great with them but this is a bit much for her to deal with."
Given their previous conversations about the date tonight, Cassie knew that Abigail would only have called if she really couldn't cope.
"Do you want me to check him over?"
Cassie shook her head. "No, he's just been sick a few times and that always makes him upset."
Sam crossed the kitchen to where she stood, gently and carefully buttoning her shirt again.
"Tell him I hope he feels better soon," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I had a good time tonight, Cassie, I hope we can do it again soon."
In amongst her worry about James, Cassie felt a sense of relief. Sam may have told her many times he understood that her kids would always have to come first, but saying it and living with it were two different things.
It looked like he had meant it, and for that she was grateful.
"Me too," she smiled, reaching for her jacket and boots. "Thank you. For everything."
He walked her to the door and she gave him a goodnight kiss, soft and sweet, and full of promise.
When she was gone from his sight, disappearing back into Grey House, Sam closed the door and went back inside. The last thing he felt like doing was clearing up the dinner things, but needed to do something to distract himself from thinking about her.
He hadn't realised, until he'd got her all alone, just how much she meant to him.
Abigail was waiting in the hallway when Cassie stepped into Grey House, kicking off her boots by the front door.
"Cassie, I'm so so sorry to interrupt your evening, but I didn't know what else to do," she apologised, leading the way up to the twins' bedroom.
"It's okay, I told you to call me if you needed me."
"I know, but I didn't think I'd actually have to."
Abigail pushed open the bedroom door and Cassie took one look at her little boy before rushing towards him.
"Where's Catherine?" She asked Abigail, pulling James gently into her arms and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
"She's in my room, fast asleep when I last looked in on her." Abigail replied with a weary smile. She loved the twins, but she was very grateful they weren't her full time responsibility.
She had no idea how Cassie managed it.
"Go on to bed," she told her cousin, surprised at the lateness of the hour. "I'll take it from here. And thank you."
Abigail shrugged it off. "I'm just sorry we had to gate-crash your evening, but you'll tell me all about it tomorrow, right?"
Cassie waved her away, but couldn't help the flush that worked its way up her neck to stain her cheeks a deep pink.
"Go to bed."
With a lascivious wink, Abigail went back to her own bedroom and left Cassie to settle James. She offered him a sip of water from the plastic cup on his nightstand, and felt his brow. He didn't feel like he had a high temperature, so she put it down to too much popcorn with cousin Abigail.
She tucked him under the covers and pressed a kiss to his forehead, overwhelmed with the kind of love that only a mother can feel for her child.
"Goodnight James, I love you."
"Love you mommy," she heard him mumble into the pillow as the exhaustion claimed him.
Cassie sat on the edge of Catherine's bed for a while and watched James as he slept, his little chest rising and falling with every breath. She was relieved that he was okay, and it wasn't something more serious. If he wasn't better tomorrow, she'd ask Sam to check him over. Just to be sure.
All of her memories of the evening came flooding back when she thought of him. She had been half expecting to feel some regret, maybe some shame, at how they had acted but she didn't. She felt anticipation for the next time they could be alone together, and other, deeper feelings that she wasn't quite ready to face yet.
As if he knew she was thinking of him, Cassie's phone vibrated with a text message from him.
"I hope James is feeling better soon, but if you need a good doctor I know where to find one. I had a wonderful time tonight and I hope we can do it again soon. S x."
She replied to let him know the situation and confirmed that she was already looking forward to seeing him again. She closed the messaging app and held her phone to her chest with a smile.
When she was convinced James was settled, she left the room and considered going to bed herself. She didn't want to be too far away if James was sick again, so she found herself wandering the corridors and landings of Grey House.
There were certain areas that were closed to the guests but even Cassie hadn't explored them yet. She just hadn't had the time since she and the twins had moved in.
It was a Monday night, the quietest night of the week at the B&B, so there were no guests, just the four of them at Grey House.
Cassie padded around in her bare feet, enjoying the sleepy quiet of the house. She felt calmer now she knew there was nothing seriously wrong with her son, and there was a not unpleasant ache between her legs from her evening spent with Sam. She knew that when she undressed, her panties would be damp.
It had been a long, long time since a man had that effect on her.
Cassie eventually came to the narrow staircase that led to the attic. She had never been up here before and, to her knowledge, neither had Abigail since Cassie moved in. She and the twins had arrived with so few belongings that everything had fitted nicely into their bedrooms or the upstairs sitting room. There had been no reason to use the attic for additional storage.
Cassie hovered at the bottom of the steps, feeling like she was trespassing even though the house was as much as hers as it was Abigail's. She placed her foot on the bottom step and it gave an ominous but not particularly loud creak. Gritting her teeth, she tried the next step up and was met by silence. On her tip toes, Cassie made her way up to the attic and stepped inside before she lost her nerve.
She wasn't sure what she expected - some ghost or ghoul to be unleashed - and wondered if she had drunk too much red wine after all. Maybe the Halloween committee meeting was still taking up real estate in her brain.
While the rest of Grey House mixed classic architecture with a modern touch, the attic looked like it had changed little since the house was built. Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, but it seemed to be calling to her.
She knew, in a way that she couldn't explain, that this room held the answers to the questions she was afraid to ask.
Stepping further into the room, Cassie ran her hands over the surface of an old trunk. It was beautiful and in near perfect condition in spite of its age. She gently flicked the locks, surprised at how easily they snicked open.
She hesitated, suddenly apprehensive at the thought of opening a can of worms she'd never be able to close. But then, wasn't that how she had felt about Sam until she had decided to be brave and trust her own instincts? That seemed to be working out pretty well, childcare responsibilities notwithstanding.
Cassie began systematically working her way through the contents of the trunk as the night slipped away, stopping only occasionally to listen out for James but he continued to sleep soundly, exhausted by his bout of nausea.
As dawn slowly began to break over Middleton, Cassie realised that she had been wrong. Her discovery raised far more questions than it did answers, but there was just one that she wanted answering with urgency.
Why had Abigail kept all of this from her?