RJ could not believe it even though it was absolutely true. Hammy had hidden every single one of his nuts in the backyard of just about every suburban house in El Rancho. He still didn't understand WHY but hey, this was Hammy.
"Ooooh! My preciousssss!" Hammy squeezed the little nut tightly in his arms before shoving it in his expansive cheeks. Then he would zip off to some other location with RJ casually strolling behind. At this point the raccoon was only out to enjoy the quiet nighttime walk with Hammy's antics being something interesting to watch.
He smirked "Well at least he got his memory back." With another backyard purged of Hammy's nuts, the red squirrel ran up onto the roof of one of the houses, he paused there before going off to a new backyard to collect more nuts. RJ continued to follow casually letting his mind wander. He thought back, months ago when he came to El Rancho Camelot Estates in the desperate attempt to retrieve a mountain of human food, a blue cooler, and a red wagon for a bear who'd kill him if he didn't. RJ remembered the trials and the sticky predicaments he pushed Hammy and the others into, all potentially dangerous and one which they almost didn't escape with their lives. RJ never really thought about Vincent the bear other than the fact that the was many many miles away inside Jelly stone Park. That insane home owners woman and the crazed vermin exterminator were also far away, but where he did not know. But most of all RJ thought about his new place in life. With a family, he couldn't complain, it was certainly the good life. And RJ couldn't ask for more. Deep down RJ knew he owed his life to every last one of them.
"RJ! RJ! C'mere c'mere c'mere c'mere!" The Raccoon's thoughts snapped back to the present. He looked to where Hammy's voice was coming from. He was perched in a little tree that sat in front of a houses' living room window. By now the sun had set and the stars were out. But judging by the flashing blue glow effect reflecting on the window, some human was watching television.
"Hey Hammy, move over." RJ climbed up the tree and sat on the same branch. The game was on. And RJ's favorite team too! "Alright Alright Steelers! Lets bring it home tonight!" Hammy looked at RJ. "The Who?" RJ sighed knowing he had to explain.
"So I assume you've never heard of football, right?" Hammy nodded. "Well basically its a human sport. Two teams made of really big gorilla looking men run around with this ...weird ball thing. They go up and down that big patch of grass there, and whoever s team makes it all the way to the other side with the ball scores points." Hammy's eyes seemed to glisten with understanding until.
"Whats a gorilla?"
"A giant monkey"
"Whats a monkey?"
"It was just a figure of spee-"
"I thought you said this was a human sport!"
"Hammy it was just a figure of speech!"
"And how did they get that grass to grow there, did they build that giant place in a forest?"
"No they just-"
"And whats that thing in black and white? Is that the zeeebrah you were telling me about earlier!"
RJ saw the referee. "Hammy no, Its the-"
"OH,OH, OH, OH- If they're so big then why do they have to wear tha----.ah...ah!...ack!"
For a few short moments RJ stared blankly at his over reacting friend. But then it dawned on him that Hammy forgot to take the nuts out of his cheeks before he started talking.
"HAMMY! GEEZE!" The raccoon reached out to grab the now choking Hammy. He could see the bulge of a nut partially down in his throat. But before RJ could grab the squirrel, Hammy jerked backwards in a vain effort to rid himself of the lodged nut. He tumbled to the ground still struggling. RJ ran down from the tree, nearly falling to get there. "HAMMY!"
A dog growled threateningly at the small pitiful form of a raccoon it saw trying to make passage though his territory, which was nothing more than his owner's backyard. The dog ran the length of his rope before it strained and choked him to a stop. He barked death threats at this wild creature. His off white teeth yearning to sink into anything that dared crossed his yard at night. The raccoon pressed its body to the wire fence that kept it caged with the maddened dog. Inch by inch it edged its way around the perimeter, hoping to find a gap between the bottom of the fence and the ground. But none could be seen.
"I'll bite you, raccoon!" The dog once again ran the length of his rope. This time he didn't pull back when his collar pressed deeply against his throat. The rope was bad due to the skimpy quality and the owner's unwillingness to pay good money for good rope. The raccoon could see the inevitable and desperately started climbing the fence. Then the rope snapped.
"Hammy, I got ya, just hold still!" RJ had reached Hammy who was flailing on his back like an upturned cockroach. His eyes were bulging and bloodshot. And if it could be believed his fur was changing a pale blue hue. RJ knew he had to act fast and grabbed the squirrel around the waist hoisting him upwards. When out of nowhere a high pitched terrified squeal reached his ears, followed by the loud ferocious barking of a dog echoing from the back of the house. A crash, more squealing, and it all seemed to join together and rush at both of them in one big mass of sound, sight, and chaos.
A raccoon bolted from behind the house and down the small grass covered alley way that separates one house from the other. Next came a gigantic dog with a killing intent in his eye following close on the raccoon's heals. Before RJ could even think of anything defensive the raccoon was already on top of them. It ran across Hammy's still slightly grounded body, one paw stamping right into his chest. In one painful heave Hammy's muscles tightened and he vomited the still whole yet very slimy nut onto the grass. It all happened in seconds, the run away was now on the road.
Now it was the dogs turn.
"That certainly ain't Nugent!" RJ, with all the agility available in his body, hoisted the stunned Hammy and himself up the tree in record speed. The dog's muzzle slammed into the trunk painfully but it took no toll on his aggressiveness. He barked louder and jumped and clawed at the tree although he could not climb it. He hoped to get two wild beasts out of this chase.
"What the hell is going on out there! Buzz? BUZZ STOP THAT BARKING NOW!" The human had gotten up from his couch and was now beating at the window trying to get his dog to be quiet. RJ's attention stayed on the dog until he heard the familiar sound of a door slam and the sound of footsteps marching over a paved drive way to reach their current location.
"We gotta get out of here." Ignoring the dog, RJ lifted Hammy onto his shoulder and continued to climb the tree. Its highest branches just reached the gutter pipe and RJ latched onto it, pulling up both himself and his unconscious friend. As soon as he left the ledge the human was heard arguing with his own dog.
"Whats all this fuss about you crazy animal. And whats all this...is this blood?" The man only noticed because of the red smears that showed on on his white tennis shoes.
RJ checked Hammy for signs of cuts, anything inflicted because of his fall. Minute scratches were on his chest, tiny blood specks, definitely nothing life threatening. The man started combing the bushes around the edges of his house too see if there were any dead animals. His dog, Buzz, sniffed the blood in the grass and tried to run out into the street but his owner held him fast by his choke chain. "You're not going anywhere, boy. I'm going to have to punish you if you did any damage to the backyard." Buzz whimpered, he had up rooted one of the fence posts to get at the raccoon since he could not jump the fence himself, so now it sagged pitifully on the ground.
After the human and his dog left the scene RJ went to work on reviving Hammy.
"Wake up!" Slap! The squirrel leapt nine feet in the air. "Eeeya! Wha- what is it? What happened? Where did my nuts go!"
"Calm down calm down...I think you should look again tomorrow. The dogs are crazy tonight"
"Aww...okay. But will you promise to come help me again?"
RJ's eye twitched. "Sure. I can't possibly think up better plans."
The pair decided to keep a low profile on their back to the hedge. But for some unexplained reason outside of a hunch, Hammy had the idea that they were being followed.
"I think there's someone behind that garden gnome."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Well look at it! Its so evil looking!" Soon Hammy was pointing and accusing every lawn decoration, bush, and tree to have someone hiding behind it, ready to spring.
It was after they had reached the hedge and Hammy went though, that RJ paused to look over his shoulder. The world was quiet. No bird chirps, the air held no breeze. The crickets were the only real noise makers and all of the house lights were out as far as he could see. And nothing smelled wrong either.
But in all this quiet RJ couldn't help but feel disturbed about tonight. Specifically the scare with the dog...and that..other raccoon. A raccoon! Who had that been anyway? Then every lawn gnome and tree started looking suspicious. RJ shook his head out of those crazy thoughts. He was tired thats all. Tired. The raccoon sighed and stepped through the hedge feeling worse for wear.
"Stop freaking me out, Hammy."