Will You Teach Me… ?
A new dynamic is emerging between Brianna and Stephen. A part of her is still hoping to expose his crimes to the public, but the bond that is forming between them, the new trust that she has in him, could make our heroine doubt and bring her ever closer to her husband…
To reiterate, feel free to comment on this chapter. This is what motivates me to continue this story, week after week, and I read and respond to each of your messages with great pleasure! In the meantime, I hope you will enjoy this very cute chapter. I know Stephen is a bitch, but he's a cute bitch now so… give him a chance! Lol
Thanks to Rath101 and LykkeF for your reviews!
Rath101: oh darling, you know what they say about big historical events in Outlander. You can't really prevent them… And the Regulators are like dinosaurs= completely extinct. Lolololol. As for Stephen, he is really trying. And it shows in this chapter especially… I hope you'll enjoy it!
LykkeF: yeah Stephen is a bit stuck between his duties and his family, and burning the letter was the only way to protect both. But Brianna will definitely become is first priority as time goes by… Thanks for your comment!
oOo
20. What's Done Is Done
They remained silent almost all the way back to River Run. Brianna wondered why Josiah had remained silent about her presence in Tryon's office, and the slightest suspicious noise or every single English soldier they met on the road scared her to death. With that and the prospect of a coming massacre, the terrible pain in her ankle, Stephen's worried gaze that never left her, plus the grammar book that contained nothing but actual grammar in it… she had bitten all of her fingernails within a couple of hours.
Halfway through the journey, they had stopped to water the horses and Stephen had dipped Bree's bandages into the stream to cool them down, before replacing them around her foot. However, his slow and dexterous movements could not distract her from her gloomy thoughts, and he eventually sat down beside her after delicately resting her foot on the carriage floor. And it was eventually the touch of his soft, warm thumb on her chin that brought Brianna back to reality.
"Everything will be all right, darlin'…", he whispered, as his wife's eyes filled with tears. "The die is cast and you did everything in your power… the rest is out of your control."
"We could go straight to Fraser's Ridge?", she begged, turning to him.
"The messenger left with our letter during the night, they have relays with fresh and rested horses at strategic points all over the Colony, just as the postal services do. Whatever happens, we would arrive several days after him and it would be too late." He had said that in a hushed, soothing voice – the way one whispers into the ear of a frightened horse. "Unless you know someone closer to home?"
Nervous as she was, Brianna did not even understand the hidden purpose of this question. She thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I don't know anyone… How do you know it will be too late?"
"The date of the battle is unknown to me. Despite my acquaintances with Lord Tryon, military information remains out of my reach...", he breathed, stroking her cheek. At least that was not a lie. "I just know it will happen very soon."
Brianna nodded, her lips pursed, and did not even protest when Stephen pulled her close and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I can only imagine your distress right now... and you will probably not like what I'm about to say, but all we have to do now is wait."
She wouldn't have confessed it under torture, but this sweet embrace felt good, warming her freezing heart and body. He was right: she did not have time to do anything more than what she had already done. In another era, a phone call, a telegram or a fax could have changed everything; but here, in 1774, there was no other solution. The sudden urge to grab something made her unconsciously raise her hand and her fingers closed around Stephen's jacket, a few inches below his heart. Was there any heart at all, under all the muscle and bones? To make sure of that, Brianna slid her hand a little higher, almost relieved to feel the organ beat steadily under her palm.
"Well, Doctor, is everything all right in there?", he quipped in a low voice, startling her. She tried to pull away from his chest, but he held on, smirking and holding her tight against him. Little by little, however, his sarcastic smile was replaced by a sweet one and he cocked his head to the side to get a better look at her face. "Are you relieved?"
Brianna let out a nervous laugh, but said nothing. There was a time when she would have hated that he could read her so easily. But not today. And she soon drifted to sleep, comfortably nestled in Stephen Bonnet's arms, until the end of the ride.
~o~
Three days went by during which Brianna lived in constant anxiety, while Stephen showed unwavering patience. The first morning, they were having breakfast with Jeremiah when Hennessy had brought the local newspaper as he always did. Stephen's poor reading skills did not allow him to read it entirely, so he usually only read the headlines and then selected the articles that really interested him. Brianna had fidgeted on her chair until he gave her the paper, shaking his head. She had no doubt that such an operation against the Regulators would make headlines if Tryon's army was victorious, and each coming copy of the Gazette, each messenger knocking at the door, made her a little more nervous. The only quiet moments were those she spent at night in their recently renovated bed, swaddled in the pirate's arms like a terrified baby in her blanket.
On the third morning, as Stephen reached for the newspaper, Brianna was quicker and stole it, then started walking around the room with her eyes scanning the headlines.
"You could at least give me a few pages…", Stephen grumbled, as Hennessy filled Brianna's cup with some soothing herbal tea. Two large paper sheets were immediately thrown to his face, landing limply on his plate of scones and jam. With a long sigh, he spread them out on the table in front of him, only to notice she had given him the obituary column. "Great…", he grunted, turning the page and switching to the publication of the banns.
Brianna had just passed behind his back again, still limping a bit on her sprained ankle – mumbling at every page that mentioned Tryon and sighing in relief when she saw no mention of him or the Regulators.
"Oh, darlin', listen… Miss Elizabeth Swann is about to marry a certain William Turner… Do you know them?" Not a single word came out of Brianna's mouth. "Neither do I. But congratulations to them, I guess… although they have absolutely no idea what they're gettin' into."
His sarcastic joke was ignored and he felt a tad disappointed. Brianna continued to pace for a few minutes, then sighed loudly as she tried to fold the newspaper properly. But the cumbersome pages were putting up a fight, and she finally crumpled the whole thing up and placed it—or rather crushed it—near Stephen's plate.
"Nothing", she said, as her husband stared at the destroyed newspaper like some dead animal on the side of the road. Suppressing a sigh, he reached out to straighten the pages and Brianna dropped into her chair, bringing her tea cup to her lips under Jeremiah's bewildered gaze. "Ugh… Jesus, that disgusting herbal tea again? Who do I have to shag to get a decent tea in this house?"
Across the table, Stephen raised his eyebrows and nodded his head, as if the answer was obvious to him, but Brianna did not pay him any attention.
"Mamaaaaa, what does 'shag' mean?", an adorable voice asked to her right.
Disappearing behind his newspaper, Stephen chuckled loudly. "Something Daddy would like Mama to do more often."
"I didn't say 'shag', Jem, I said 'gag', which is a bit like… muzzling someone", Brianna said as the upper part of the newspaper dropped slightly, revealing two green eyes – both angry and amused by her sharp tongue. But Jeremiah suddenly seemed bothered by his father's answer.
"Daddy, why do you want Mommy to gag you more often?"
"Good luck answering that one", Brianna muttered, hiding her smile in her cup. However, Stephen did not have to. Lloyd had just entered the dining room and was waving at Hennessy. Brianna immediately craned her neck to see what the young man was giving to the butler and got up from her chair when Hennessy handed the message to Stephen.
"What is it?"
Stephen broke the wax seal and unfolded the letter, frowning to decipher the three words that were written on it, which was the current date. Over his shoulder, he heard Brianna catch her breath and took a look at her.
"Who sent you this?", she breathed.
"One of my men who enlisted in Tryon's militia… I always keep a watch on the people I work with, darlin'." As Brianna suddenly turned pale and twisted her fingers nervously, he tossed the note on the table and stood up to pull her against him. "I will stay with you today. We will wait together until we know more…"
Brianna stared into his deep green eyes, searching for any trace of mischief or lies but found nothing. Nothing but concern and sweetness, and she felt her heart race. Had he really learned his lesson after Roger? Would he stop hurting her for good, even by accident? She wanted to believe it… And that's the moment Stephen chose to place a chaste kiss on her parted lips, without trying to go any further.
"Why don't we go for a walk in Cross Creek…? Just the three of us? It will take our minds off things… and you have to get that ankle walking again", he offered with a flirtatious smile. Brianna opened her mouth to refuse, but he grabbed her chin with two fingers. "…And not just walking around in circles in our living room."
"Oh please say yes, Mama! I want to go see the chickens in C'oss C'eek!", Jeremiah added, leaving the table to jump around. "Pwease! Pwease! Pwease!"
Brianna first looked down at her son who was clasping his hands under his tiny chin, then looked up at a triumphantly smiling Stephen. He knew he had already won, and she could not deny that some time outside these walls would do her a world of good. As he had said a few days earlier, the die was cast…
"Fine", she sighed as Jeremiah jumped around like crazy and Blue started barking to mimic his young master's excitement.
After an hour ride with an overexcited Jeremiah, Brianna got out of the carriage. Stephen immediately grabbed her by the waist to help her – as he still refused to let her jump from too high – and eased her to the ground as if she was as light as their son, then gallantly offered her his arm. The sun was already shining high in the cloudless sky and Brianna took a deep breath, enjoying the spring wind on her face and feeling her anxiety ease a little more with each step. She was even about to smile when a booming voice echoed in the street.
"Good morning, Mr. Bonnet!"
Stephen raised a hand to greet the man and noticed Brianna's questioning gaze. "Oh, he's one of the farmers who bought some of our land", he said vaguely, as he admired the local blacksmith who was forging what looked like a long dagger with his hammer. Brianna was nodding knowingly when it was the turn of the grocer next door to greet them warmly.
"Good day to you, Mr. Bonnet!"
Again, Stephen smiled and waved his hand, purposely ignoring Brianna's deepening frown.
"Did you sell him some of our land too?", she asked sarcastically.
"No. But can you believe that your aunt imported almost all of her food from Virginia…? As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather buy what our local farmers produce. It's cheaper and… that's how you get to know the people around, and build relationships… This man is now River Run's sole fruits and vegetables supplier."
Of course, the same thing happened as they passed by various stores and workshops. They were greeted in turn by the cobbler, the pig farmer who was passing by to do some shopping, and the jeweler, who already had a few of Brianna's sets of jewels to his credit. Stephen's smile grew wider with each greeting and Brianna finally asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm:
"Is that why you wanted to come here? So I could see how much you take care of the local economy?"
Stephen chuckled discreetly and looked around before turning back to his wife. "None of this was planned, darlin', believe me. But I'm quite satisfied of the outcome…"
"Of course you are… Oh boy, who is it this time?", Brianna sighed as someone else behind them called out for "Mr. Bonnet!".
As she turned to the man who had just spoken, the building in front of her felt oddly familiar, yet different. The ground floor had been completely refurbished with stalls, that were covered with breads and pastries of all kinds. It took Brianna a few seconds to remember why she felt like she knew the place and it was Stephen's sideways glance that jogged her memory. Forbes… It was Forbes' office… She shivered as the memory of Stephen walking into the waiting room – sizing her up with his treacherous and libidinous eyes – forced itself into her mind. Yes, it was here that she had tried to seek the lawyer's help. But the office (just like its owner) had disappeared, and was replaced today by a bakery.
"Oh, you brought your wife?", the baker exclaimed with a beaming smile before leaning over to Jeremiah. "Now I know where you got those pretty blue eyes…"
"Can I have a slice of pie, Sir? Like last time", Jeremiah asked, smiling broadly.
"May I have a slice of pie, please", Stephen corrected, but the baker did not care much about politeness, as long as he could spoil the boy with one of his creations. Nevertheless, Jeremiah sheepishly repeated the correct sentence.
"What would you like this time? I have lemon pie, apple pie, pear tart and blueberry pie", the man said, leaning towards the child.
Putting a finger in his mouth, Jeremiah thought for a moment, waddling a bit. "Ummm… Apple pie! No, blueberry pie!"
"Is that your final answer?"
Jem nodded vigorously, jumping around as the man cut a slice of pie and handed it to him.
"Thank you, Sir!", he exclaimed, immediately taking a huge bite. Behind Jemmy, Brianna could not help but feel slightly uneasy. So this was where Stephen had taken Jeremiah when she was 'sick'? Building relationships with the locals and playing father of the year? She had to admit that he had done pretty well…
"Does your missus want something?", the baker asked the Irishman, who turned to Bree, squinting his eyes a bit. He could have sensed her discomfort from a mile away and Brianna had to shake it off to answer normally.
"That's very kind of you, but you don't have to…", the young woman politely declined, but the man waved his hand.
"I insist, it's my pleasure…"
"Then, I guess I'll try this..." She pointed to a small cake shaped like a boat hull, with a slight bulge on top.
"Ah, madeleines… They are very popular in France, in the court of King Louis the fifteenth. Here you are…", he said, placing a madeleine in the palm of her hand and she thanked him with a nod, blushing.
"Thank you…"
She waited until Stephen had chosen a slice of pie, argued for a few minutes with the baker who refused to charge him and then walked away, to raise an questioning eyebrow at him.
"I sold him the place", the pirate answered before she even had time to ask.
"The 'place'… you mean the late Neil Forbes' house?"
Stephen gave her an annoyed look while biting into his pie. "People around here couldn't afford it. He could, though. He needed a large house to set up his bakery."
"And you needed a big oven to make some files disappear…", she taunted tit for tat. She had said that as a joke, but Stephen's sudden smirk made her realize that she was probably not far from the truth.
"Well, you know… a favor for a favor..."
Brianna stared at him with big, round eyes, as he wolfed down his pie with a mischievous grin, and she shook her head. "Well, I guess it's just as well: Forbes would never make such delicious madeleines..."
This time, a genuine laugh escaped her husband's full mouth, and she wondered for a moment if it was right to joke about a man's death, no matter how loathsome he was. Especially when she was the one who had hurt him and Stephen the one who had finished him off and covered his murder. Their eyes met for a moment, and the collusive glint in his green irises strangely warmed up Brianna's heart. As if he was silently swearing to protect her in all circumstances, even when she smashed a lawyer's jaw with a hammer. She broke eye contact embarrassedly, pretending to look for Jeremiah and make sure he did not wander off too far.
The day flew by like a dream – almost too perfect to be real – and Brianna started to dread the moment she would have to go back to reality. Not the marriage reality – she had gotten used to it by now – but a reality in which her letter had never reached its destination and the Regulators were currently dying one after the other. On several occasions, Stephen had sensed her dismay and had let go of her arm to take her hand in his, stroking the skin with his thumb. So gently that it had almost brought tears to her eyes. She did not know if he was sincere or if he was just taking advantage of her vulnerability, but she could not deny it: without him and his attempts to take her mind off the battle that was raging miles away from here, she would probably have sunk into hysteria.
After dark, she had just slipped into their bed when Brianna realized that the answer to all her questions would probably be on the front page of the next day's newspaper. And although she had spent three days expecting this, her heart filled with terror at the thought. She would have given anything for a moment of respite, so much so that when Stephen came to beg for affection, she threw herself into his arms to spare herself an hour of mental torture. The sex was like the rest of the day: sweet and reassuring, almost therapeutic—and she let herself enjoy every moment of it.
The next morning, as she slowly woke up, her first instinct was to run her hand over the mattress – hoping to find Stephen's warm body for one last cuddle. But her fingers only felt the cold, empty sheets. With her heart in her boots, she slowly crawled out of bed and prepared to go downstairs for breakfast. But when she reached the top of the stairs, she saw Stephen's back in the entrance hall. And he was talking to Hennessy, who looked even grumpier than usual.
"How am I supposed to tell her that…", she heard Stephen growl in a low voice.
Bree's blood raced in her veins and she froze on the second floor landing. "Tell me what?"
Both men jumped and turned around in perfect synchronization. Stephen did not need to say anything. Everything about his shifty, worried gaze, his clenched jaw, and the newspaper he held between his fingers was enough for Brianna to know that their plan had failed. Stephen folded the Gazette in his hands, involuntarily answering Bree's question. Murtagh's portrait – easily recognizable since it was the same illustration as on the wanted notice that was plastered all over the Colony – was on the front page and her eyes immediately filled with tears.
"Brianna…", Stephen began as she shook her head and closed her eyes.
Two tears rolled down her cheeks, the first of a long series. Murtagh… She did not want to imagine her family's pain right now. She thought about Jamie, who had just lost his godfather and friend. About Jocasta, who had probably lost the only man she had ever really loved, as she always married out of convenience. About what was left of the Regulators, who would soon surrender according to History books. Her mother had warned her many times. The past could not be changed. You could save the fate of one or two people, maybe… But the main events were inevitable, no matter how hard you tried to prevent them.
She turned around to go back to their room and let her tears run free, perhaps even vent her anger and helplessness on the furniture. But Stephen was following her, his boots stomping on the wooden steps, and she quickened her pace to escape him.
"Brianna!"
She was about to slam the door to their bedroom when Stephen's hand slipped between the panel and the doorframe, and he cursed loudly in Gaelic when the wood crushed his knuckles.
"Leave me alone…", she begged, burying her face in her hands. She did not want to be responsible for another drama or argument; all she needed right now was peace and solitude to grieve, but also accept that she had not been able to stop the course of events. Stephen's arms wrapped around her and she lifted her red and wet eyes toward him. The Irishman was staring at her with a sad and worried frown. But Brianna needed more than that… She needed to ask him one last time. She had to be sure...
"You did send it, didn't you? The letter…", she whispered, as tears kept running down her cheeks. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you sent it?"
The next seconds seemed to drag on forever. Slowly, Stephen's hand cupped her left cheek, as he wiped away her tears with his thumb. There was no trace of guilt in his eyes, and he was not trying to beg her questions or divert her attention either. Thus, for the first time since they were married, Brianna was absolutely convinced that he would not lie to her.
"Aye, I did, darlin'."
Brianna smiled painfully and nodded, before resting her head against her husband's comforting chest and crying her heart out.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
I know what you're going to say... How can she trust him after everything he's done to her? The answer is simple: her vulnerability is at its peak, and Stephen has unconsciously known when to turn into Prince Charming in order to make the most of it. Yes, he is slowly getting bogged down in his lies, but Brianna believes him and relies more and more on him to find some mental and emotional balance… And that could tip the scales in Stephen's favor.
Anyway, what did you think about this chapter? The precious family moments, the banter between Stephen and Brianna, the walk in Cross Creek and the pirate's general behavior?
There will be a surprise in the next chapter! It will soon be May 1774 and observant readers will perhaps guess the event(s) to come….
I will update on December 18th, shortly before Christmas and it will also be the last chapter of year 2022! Until then, I look forward to reading your comments and I wish you a happy Holiday season!
Xérès