They chatted idly off and on during the drive back, but for the most part Mamoru noticed Usagi had adopted a quietly contemplative air, and because he had never really known the girl to be so introspective it had his curiosity piqued. Eventually he started trying to subtly manipulate the conversation into what she was pondering so intensely upon, and as luck would have it, she took the bait.
"We have a truce now," Usagi stated, with a decisive finality to her features that alluded to her next words being something monumental. "And you want there to be trust between us too. Well... in my view, people who trust each other often have good cause to, because they know the other person so well they have no doubts about their character."
"Are you suggesting we have a heart-to-heart? Tell each other all our secrets?" Mamoru nearly snorted at the thought of sharing with Tsukino freaking Usagi that he moonlighted as a superhero in a tophat and cape. That he still sported quite the colorful shoulder bruise from his last foray into battle. Oh yes, that would go over well. Like a bull in a china shop. "Because that will never happen."
"I'm aware," Usagi quipped dryly, surprisingly not upset that he wasn't excitedly on board with wherever she was going with this. "So that's why I'm thinking we should start small. Baby steps, right? Something more along the lines of... how about a truth for a truth? We each have the chance to ask a question, just one, and the other has to answer it honestly."
Mamoru mulled that over. It was indeed an intriguing proposition, and he definitely had a query or two just off the top of his mind that he was positively dying to ask the blonde. But there was still the little matter of things best left untouched...
"Yeah, I'll bite. But only on the condition that we throw in a, erm, discretion clause. If a question is posed that - for reasons of discomfort or even personal safety - cannot be answered, the other will drop it in exchange for another."
"Agreed," Usagi said, even sounding a bit relieved. Mamoru gave her a funny look, wondering what on earth transparent Tsukino would ever need to hide from anyone. That she once aced a test with flying colors? He fought the urge to snicker. "Who goes first?"
"You can," Usagi replied politely.
"You're too kind," Mamoru retorted playfully, and he blinked when he realized that being playful with Odango Atama was suddenly starting to come naturally to him. Weird. He usually only showed this side of himself to Motoki.
Mamoru side-eyed the blonde, who was sitting quietly in her seat, hands folded in her lap. She was gazing out the front windshield, the lights of cars flashing hypnotically past her vibrant but eerily unmoving blue irises, and Mamoru wondered if he should ask that which had been nagging at him ever since they began these lessons. He decided to throw caution to the wind. It's not like she wouldn't send a hard-hitting question his way when her turn came up next!
"Why did you agree to work with me? You hate my guts and it's not like you didn't have a choice. You could have said no," Mamoru pointed out, feeling the familiar confusion as he recalled that first meeting in her hospital room.
Usagi sighed. "I'm sure part of it was not wanting to cause a scene and embarrass myself in front of my family. But really..." Twin spots of red appeared, high on her cheeks. "Really, I guess... deep down... I wanted to prove myself to you. To show you I'm more than just a stupid, ditzy, silly girl."
The expression on her face was so genuine, so vulnerable, that Mamoru rushed to assure her, "I don't think that!" The look he was given in return was so disbelieving it was almost comical, and he was forced to amend, "Okay... anymore."
Usagi smiled a bit at that. "Well if it's any consolation I used to think you were the worst person in the world. Now... I guess I can move you down to second place."
Mamoru gaped at her, at the teasing sparkle in her blue eyes that he'd never seen before, until he realized they were going to get into an accident if he didn't start paying more attention to the road. He wondered with a touch of marvel if she'd always been this entertaining, and he just blinded himself to her better qualities upon encountering her more frustrating few. It was with a flood of shame that he realized he probably had. As book smart as he was, Mamoru was still woefully deficient in the art of making friends. He had a tendency to close himself off to all but those he could connect to on a purely intellectual level, because those were the easiest - the least stressful - relationships to maintain.
He was beginning to wonder if he had missed out, all these years.
"Second, huh? Who on earth takes first!?"
"Ah ah," Usagi waggled her index at him. "You had your question! It's my turn now."
Mamoru settled back in his seat, resisting the urge to huff. He watched the seriousness slide back onto Usagi's features and she seemed to be deliberating with herself. He felt his nerves kick in. "Go on then, Odango, do your worst."
"Well... I've just been thinking a lot... and you can tell me if I'm out of line here, but... you were really upset when we had that fight yesterday. More than you've ever been with me. And I just want to know if, if I said something I shouldn't have? I'd kind of like to know so I can avoid it in future," Usagi said, with a conciliatory grimace.
Whatever Mamoru thought she was going to ask, it wasn't that. He felt off-kilter, thrown into territory he didn't generally enjoy treading, and especially not with others. He half considered telling her she was out of line, but... something held him back. Maybe it was all the crap he put her through today, but she deserved better than an immediate shutdown; to know why her comments had sliced him so. He took a deep breath.
"You said my parents must be so ashamed of me. Of what an ass I am." Usagi cringed at the words, perfect recollection evident by the fresh regret on her face, but she let him go on without a sound. "Well... the truth is... I don't know what they think of me. And it's something that often haunts me, that not knowing. See they died when I was really small, and the car accident that killed them, I was in it too. I received a head injury, and when I woke up I had pretty bad amnesia for a while. Bits and pieces came back over the years, very slowly, but I still... I still barely remember them at all."
Mamoru was alarmed at how choked and hoarse his voice was becoming, and he endeavored to tamp down on his emotions, shove them back into the box where they belonged. Dredging up the past and all its sordid details never failed to rattle his normally unflappable composure, and Mamoru hated that, hated the way it made him feel so unprotected and weak. He didn't trust people not to use that against him, not since the days of the orphanage, and so it was with underlying firmness that Mamoru declared,
"Anyway, you couldn't have known that, so no hard feelings. What's done is done, and that's all I'll say on the matter."
Usagi was stricken.
If there was ever a time she wished she could eat her words, turn back time, give herself a good hard slap... it was now.
She felt horrible, so completely disappointed in herself. Mamoru was right, obviously she couldn't have known, but that didn't make her outburst - her cruel insinuations - any more justified.
The blonde bit her lip, the urge to peek at Mamoru from out of the corner of her eye there like a habit of old, but it would've been no use. She had no idea what expression he wore; whether he was angry or sullen or resigned or calm. He had carefully schooled his voice, trying hard to hide whatever it was he was feeling. She longed to inquire further, to discover more about the man now that he had just dropped this bombshell about his life, because she realized then how very little she truly knew about him. But Usagi could tell Mamoru would not appreciate if she badgered him when the conversation was so clearly over, and so she wisely stayed mum in her respective seat.
The rest of the ride home was a rather awkward one, silence stretching between them, but it was not exactly of the uncomfortable variety. They each had much to muse over, so much having been uncovered about the other. A resolve was growing within Usagi then, an intense desire to unravel the enigma that was Chiba Mamoru, and unbeknownst to her the eighteen-year-old beside her was having similar thoughts.
She extricated herself from the car upon arriving at the Tsukino residence with an emboldened air.
"Thank you for everything, Mamoru-san. I learned a lot." Far more than she expected to. "Same time tomorrow, then?"
"Definitely. Do you need a hand or anything?"
"No, I'm alright," Usagi replied graciously. She dipped into a farewell bow then skittered off, mindful this time of the uneven pavement underfoot. She was getting better at this, she realized with a grin. Her good cheer was immediate to all when she entered the domicile, and Kenji - who had missed the steady change in her demeanor while at work - was the first to comment upon it.
"Well well. Someone looks mighty proud of herself!"
Usagi launched into an excited recap of her day, and she could practically feel the glow from her parents as they huddled around her, pressing for every minute detail. She happily complied, though of course left out the rather more personal interactions she'd shared with Mamoru and - she wasn't sure why - but she also prevaricated when it came to the location of their lesson. She told them it was the park, which is what she would tell Luna when the cat would ask later. Maybe it was that she didn't want to lose the garden - its complete secrecy from the world gave a feeling of almost belonging, first to her and now to her and Mamoru. To tell would be like a betrayal. And in the same vein... she feared being forbidden from going back there, the impression that a man and a woman alone in a private place would have on her guardians. There was nothing salacious going on, that was just so... ew... but she would never be able to convince her parents that. So she crowed and beamed and touted her accomplishments, revealing only what would bring them the most joy, and it seemed they were just as over the moon at her progress as she. When Kenji kissed her, Usagi swore she felt a lingering dampness where his cheek had brushed hers.
"My girl. Knew you could do it if you put your mind to it. You'll be a force to be reckoned with very soon, I can tell!"
Usagi giggled. "A smelly force, that's for sure. I'm off to run a bath!"
"Make sure you really get under your nails, they're filthy," Ikuko clucked, inspecting Usagi's fingers as only a mother would. She too pecked Usagi on the cheek. "I fear it's a problem you're always going to have now, dear."
Usagi rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mama."
oOo
"And then we called a truce. Can you believe it? Us. A truce!"
"I'm currently waiting for the world to implode around me," Luna chuckled, from her perch alongside the tub. "So then what?"
Usagi cackled as rinsed out her hair and explained about Mamoru's cat toy, half wondering if next time she should snag it for Luna's entertainment. But the black-furred feline had other theories, less about Mamoru's proclivities and more about Usagi's unexpected adeptness with the toy.
"That's amazing, Usagi-chan. Catching it out of thin air like that... Mamoru-san says it was your other senses at work? Could be. But I wonder too if it wasn't latent Senshi ability."
Usagi leaned forward eagerly. "What, like new powers?"
"More like, abilities you already possessed, now coming to the surface. I would surmise they operate much like your other senses. When one is cut off, the others grow stronger. So what's to say your powers aren't increasing as a result? You always had a knack for sensing danger, and wicked aim with the tiara. I just wonder if this 'awareness' you spoke of isn't more magical than medical."
Usagi had a lot to think about at that proclamation, so she turned her focus to scrubbing out her fingernails, brain teeming with the possibilities. She supposed it was altogether likely. In fact, she had noticed that when Luna was around, she had an unexplained capability to sense where the cat was. She remembered her first night home, and how Luna had kept vigil by the window. Usagi shouldn't have known that, but she did, and now with Luna's theory perhaps there was a reason. But if her powers were increasing, would that mean that one day, maybe - just maybe - she could be Sailor Moon again? It was a fierce and aching hope that pierced Usagi's heart, and she felt it begin to beat very fast in response. Granted, being blind was a huge setback, and she wasn't quite sure how she was going to dodge a youma's attack if she couldn't very well see it coming, but -
Usagi froze, all racing thoughts of taking back up her mantle coming to a sudden and screeching halt.
In her ministrations to her nails, she had rubbed across her burnt finger. Only...
It wasn't burnt anymore.
The skin was smooth, utterly and completely smooth as it had been before she had the mishap in the kitchen, no puckering or blister to speak of. But there was no way. No way it should have healed this quickly.
How was this possible?
Usagi expelled a shaky breath, still fussing with the strangely unburnt finger when Luna's concerned meow captured her attention.
"What's wrong, Usagi-chan?"
"I... nothing. I'm getting out now."
oOo
Usagi was still pondering intensely over her finger as she sat on her bed blow-drying out her hair, everything from more 'latent Senshi power' to her own sometimes overactive imagination passing through her mind as explanation. She probably would have continued on this train of thought for an hour to come were it not for her Mama rapping at the door, bearing news of a visitor here to see her. The smile was heavy in her voice even through the wood, and when the door opened to reveal the newcomer Usagi's smell took over where her eyes failed.
She would have pinpointed the intoxicating scent of fresh flowers and baking bread anywhere.
"Mako-chan!"
Footsteps wasted no time in barreling into the room, just as surely as a warm body much larger than her own collided with Usagi's figure, nearly unsettling her. She held tight to the shaking girl, petting down her hair, hearing belatedly the door close softly as Ikuko gave the two friends their privacy. Usagi smiled in pure delight, none of her anger from before leaking through as she whispered, "I missed you so much!"
"I know," Makoto moaned, sniffling. "I know you did. I missed you so much too, and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I abandoned you when you needed me most. I'm just... I'm an idiot. A total idiot. I realized that today after the twelfth walk past your house, that I had to stop being so selfish and afraid and just do it. I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I really am. I just..."
Usagi shook her head, the gesture placating. "I get it. It's really scary. I still don't want to believe it myself."
Makoto pulled back a bit, presumably to gaze more fully at Usagi, and she wished for the hundredth time to be able to return the favor. She missed the love and gentleness she always found in Makoto's verdant green eyes. "It made me feel like we were just kids playing in an adult's war, you know? And after... it happened... and I went to visit you in the hospital, with all your bandages and knowing you'd soon wake up and discover your fate..." There was a noise and a puff of air, like she blew the bangs from off her forehead. Makoto's not-so-obvious tell of frustration. "Well, it just kinda seemed like we'd... lost."
Usagi's hand shot out and she grasped onto the first part of Makoto she encountered; her arm. She gave it a reassuring squeeze.
The taller girl continued, "Anyway, I moped in that mindset for quite a while before I finally pulled out of it. Ever heard of the five stages of grief?"
There was a definite ring of irony in Usagi's response. Why yes, yes she had.
"I was pretty damn stuck in denial. But, Rei-chan... Rei-chan can't seem to get past the angry. Not at you, just... the situation. How she wasn't able to protect you. I went to see her before coming here. She wouldn't even let me in. Grandpa told me she's working herself half to death, even refusing to eat," Makoto confided, the fear and concern leaking through into her voice. Similar emotions were wakening in Usagi. "I wanted to come here to apologize, but also to see if you'll come with me to talk some sense into her. I think... I think if she sees you, really sees that you're pulling through and not laying down giving up, it'll shake her to do the same. Will you? Will you come with me, Usagi-chan?"
The desperation was in her request but it came through even more prominently in the way Makoto clutched Usagi's hand for dear life. And for the first time, Usagi felt like the leader again - the glue that held their group together. Her determined eyes pinned the thunder warrior, the ghost of a smile dancing on her lips.
"What on earth are we still doing here then? Let's get to the shrine."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's Note: One Senshi reunion down, one to go! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Truth for a truth was fun... we may see it again ;) Did you notice the call-out to ep 34? Many scenes from the Rainbow Crystals arc will make their way into this story, if not a bit mixed up in their order. But we'll hit on just about every major episode as the story progresses. I'm also dying to know your theories about what caused Usagi's mysterious healing... All I gotta say is pay attention hehe!
Thank you to those wonderful people who sent me a review last chapter! That's karseneau1, Moon Bunny, Serenity Red Eclipse, Asj Johnson, Ruk, Jenbunny, Daire123, Mimi, JBubbles, Aya Faulkner, and NikkiBC. MWAH, love you all!
Until next time,
AngelMoon Girl