Melt Your Heart
Chapter 38: Normal
"How is Joanne doing?" Cassie asked once they had pulled out of Middleton. She still felt this was a subject she needed to tread lightly on with Sam, but she'd been so busy the previous week that she hadn't had the chance to spend any time with either Radford.
"A little better," Sam replied. "A week of rest has really done her good, but she's already talking about moving on."
Cassie wasn't surprised by this; she had sensed Joanne's restlessness. She recognised it, too. Before Jake, she had been the same way but she'd found her roots with him and the twins, and again now in Middleton with her newfound family and friends.
"Are you going to convince her to stay through Christmas?" she asked, once she'd expressed her relief that Joanne was doing better. She also realised that they hadn't discussed Christmas plans, but she'd expected Sam would be working. He seemed like the kind of man who would volunteer to work the holidays so that his colleagues with children could take the time off.
"Joanne will be heading to our parents', and I'll be working," he replied, confirming her intuition had been correct.
"You should definitely stop by Grey House when you can. If Thanksgiving was anything to go by, we'll have more than enough food for the whole town." She laughed a little, but she was nervous too, afraid that Sam might not want to spend Christmas with her.
Oh gosh, she thought, was this how Abigail felt about inviting Stephanie?
At least it seemed unlikely that Sam would be bringing his new lover.
Cassie knew, without a doubt, that the moment Sam started experiencing less-than-platonic feelings for somebody else, she'd be the first to know.
And he wouldn't even need to tell her.
Six hours later, two sleeping children occupied the backseat of Sam's car and two Douglas firs were attached to the roof bars. For his part, Sam wasn't quite sure at which point he'd been talked into getting a tree for his own house, but he assumed it was around the time that Catherine had looked at him in outrage and James in pure shock, when he confessed that he didn't usually decorate his house for the holidays.
But, to their credit, the twins had offered to help him with decorating it. He'd watched Cassie's eyes widen at the suggestion - Catherine's of course - but had stopped her before she could protest. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? Plus, it might cheer Joanne up.
"You didn't have to say yes to the tree," Cassie said gently as they made their way back to Middleton, not wanting to wake the twins.
"Have you tried saying no to the two of them?" Sam joked. "Especially Cat, she's much too like her cousin Abigail already."
He took his eyes off the road long enough to look at Cassie when he realised she was neither smiling or laughing. Wow, his mouth really wasn't big enough for him to keep putting his foot in it.
He imagined it wasn't easy to be a single parent, but a single parent when you hadn't made that choice and when you were also dealing with three sets of grief.
In his opinion, Cassie Nightingale was a freakin' superhero.
"Sorry," he apologised softly, his eyes now focused back on the road ahead.
"It's not your fault," she replied, toying with how honest to be with him. "It was just hard seeing all those families today, but I'm glad you suggested it and that I didn't say no."
"So am I," Sam said, equal parts glad that's he was driving otherwise he would have wanted to hold her hand, or hug her. Either would have been a mistake because he wouldn't have wanted to let go.
Cassie leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes, feeling safe enough with him that she could allow herself to sleep the rest of the way back home.
Joanne Radford woke from her own nap to find her brother's house the noisiest it had been since her arrival in Middleton – probably since his arrival in Middleton as well. A little disorientated, she blinked several times before she entered the living room, the corner of which was now taken up by a pine tree almost as tall as her, and she wasn't a short woman.
"What's going on here?" she asked, barely able to hide her incredulity.
"Hey, Jo," Sam greeted, holding a battered cardboard box in his arms. "Sorry if we disturbed you."
"No, it's fine," she assured him, and the rest of their visitors. She had meant to be awake by the time Sam returned from his excursion; she didn't want him to worry about how much rest she seemed to need lately. No matter how many hours she slept it was like her tank was always running on empty. "But I'm starting to think I'm still dreaming because there's no way that Scrooge Radford is putting up a Christmas tree."
"I got talked into it," he admitted, gesturing towards the children who, much more refreshed from their naps than Joanne, were decorating themselves with strings of tinsel rather than putting it on the tree.
"Oh, really?" Joanne asked, her hands on her hips and wry smile playing at her lips. Oh, he had fallen hook, line, and sinker. She wondered how long it would take her brilliant, intelligent brother to realise this little fact.
"I was outnumbered," he replied in a stage whisper, setting the box of lights and decorations down next to the twins. "And I'm officially seconding you to fairy light duty."
"Yes, boss!" Joanne laughed, crouching down on the floor next to James and Catherine. She had never wanted children of her own, but she'd been a little charmed by Cassie's twins, too. It was easy to see why Sam had been sucked in by whole package.
Speaking of, where was Cassie?
As if by magic, the other woman appeared, holding a tray of Christmas mugs containing steaming hot chocolate.
"I definitely feel like I'm dreaming, or that I've woken up in a Hallmark movie," Joanne confessed with a laugh, but she accepted one of the mugs and was pleased to find her hand didn't shake at all.
"Oh, no," Cassie replied, passing the smaller cups to the twins. "Believe it or not, this is real."
"Well, it's definitely a Christmas miracle," Joanne said, sipping the hot chocolate gratefully and feeling the warmth of it working through her. "Sam's usually a bit of a Grinch, so don't be surprised if this is a festive as he gets."
Sam scowled at his sister, but there was fondness in the gesture. He looked around his suddenly crowded living room and found he quite like seeing it filled. There was an ache there – chased with the bitterness of his ex-wife's assertion that he would never, ever make a good father – for a crowded table, a full house, a family.
And maybe, someday, Cassie would want that again, too.
"I didn't think you'd be gone all day," Abigail commented once Cassie had put the twins to bed and joined her cousin in the kitchen. She seemed like her old self again, with a hint of amusement in her eyes.
"I didn't think you'd be gone all night," Cassie replied, her tone mild and laced with concern rather than accusation.
"I'm a big girl, cuz. I haven't needed a curfew for a good few years now."
"I just worry about you, that's all," Cassie said, choosing to brew herself a cup of herbal tea rather than following Abigail's lead and pouring a glass of pinot noir.
"There's nothing to worry about, I assure you," Abigail replied, sipping at her wine so she wouldn't have to meet her cousin's gaze. Sometimes having another Merriwick under your roof was a curse not a blessing, because she knew that Cassie could see – and sense – beneath the surface and know when Abigail was bullshitting her.
"Just please be careful, okay?" Cassie sighed. She decided to brew her own blend of camomile and lavender tea. It had been a long, lovely day, and she didn't want it to be soured by any ugliness with Abigail.
"Yes, mom." Abigail grinned, firing a salute in Cassie's direction, but in truth it felt good to know that someone cared.
Cassie rolled her eyes at her cousin, in a mixture of affection and exasperation. Sometimes it felt like she was running around after three children, but Abigail was right: she was a grown woman and she was entitled to make her own mistakes.
"The tree looks great, by the way," Abigail continued, before Cassie could press anything further out of her. "It's the first time Grey House has looked this festive in years."
"Thanks Abigail."
Cassie smiled, surprised to find her eyes filling with tears. It had been an emotional rollercoaster of a day, but experiencing those feelings was better than the numb nothingness.
"I kind of invited Sam for Christmas, well, for when he's not working, anyway," she blurted, surprising herself as much as Abigail, which was something of a record for the Merriwicks.
"Well," Abigail began, still feeling twin twinges of embarrassment and pain when she remembered the invitation she'd extended to Stephanie. "I guess we'll both be taking turns to hide in the kitchen this Christmas."
Cassie smiled now, putting an affectionate hand on Abigail's shoulder as they made their way through to the sitting room with their drinks.
"Sounds like a normal family Christmas," she replied.
Abigail turned round to smile back at her. "I guess it will be."
"But if you bring home any mistletoe from the flower shop, I may just have to kill you…"
Abigail chuckled. She always enjoyed when this side of Cassie came out to play.
"Definitely a normal, family Christmas, then."