Problems With Dating the RWBY Girls
Chapter 13: Caroline (Cardin R63), or: No Such Thing As Too Tsun
Combat Class had just ended, and that of course left one Jaune Arc with mixed feelings. On the one hand, it was now Friday, and with his final class of the day now out of the way, his weekend could begin in earnest. That meant a whole two nights and one day of doing nothing but hanging out with friends, playing video games, eating unhealthy food, and not worrying about school before the inevitable Sunday panic kicked in and he proceeded to shit his pants over procrastinating for the whole weekend when he could have been doing his homework or studying for that big test next week.
Good times all around, essentially.
But on the other hand, the end of Combat Class meant that his least favorite part of the day was about to happen.
"Hey, what's the holdup, Jauney-boy?"
Right about now, in fact. Jaune simply paused where he stood, sighing tiredly before turning around.
"Caroline," he greeted.
Caroline Winchester. First-year just like him, but otherwise his complete opposite – for one, she was huge, both in terms of size and muscle mass. Seriously, she towered over him by several inches, and had a phsyique that rivaled Yang's – muscular for a woman, but still very sleek, akin to an elite athlete rather than a powerlifter or bodybuilder. Even despite that, she still managed to out-muscle him.
Curse me for not taking up lifting when I first hit puberty.
Aside from that, she was his opposite in other ways, too. Where Jaune's family was anything but well-off, Caroline's was quite renowned around Remnant; where he used a sword and shield paired with light armor, she carried a heavy mace with armor to match. Where he was unskilled, she… wasn't great, but she was still better than him.
And then there was the second most important comparison – where he considered himself pretty average-looking, Caroline Winchester was smoking. Long, burnt-orange hair that flowed down the small of her back, which paired amazingly with her captivating indigo eyes. Her legs seemed to go on for miles, and her thighs were perfectly thick, yet still boasted a small gap between them. Finally, there was her chest, which was perfect. He wasn't ashamed to say that he had stolen a glance, both at her breasts and under her skirt, those few times she had dunked him head-first in a nearby trashcan.
Yeah, he wasn't afraid to admit it – he thought his school bully was really hot. How could he not? She was basically everything he had imagined the perfect girl would be, and even though she seemed to delight in tormenting people, and him in particular, he couldn't help but be attracted to her. She was just pushing all of his buttons.
That, of course, leads us back to the first most important comparison between them.
From his position pinned against the locker, Jaune gazed at his bully blankly. She bit her lip nervously, her legs starting to shake. Next to her, Sky frowned.
"What's the holdup, Caroline? Do something already!"
"O-of course!" she stammered out. She gave Jaune a confused glance, as if she wasn't sure what she wanted to do, and he just sighed.
"Just hurry up and put me in the damn locker."
She took that as an invitation, quickly opening his locker and tossing him inside before shutting the door and locking it, then quickly running away. From his position sandwiched between sweaty clothes and textbooks, Jaune sighed tiredly once more.
This was, of course, the first big difference – Jaune was capable of expressing his crush on someone in a healthy way, while Caroline wasn't.
On a certain level, he could kind of understand – from what he had been able to dig up, Caroline's father had been careful to keep her sheltered from anyone who was 'beneath her', meaning she didn't get much experience being around boys her own age. It was likely that she had never had a crush on anyone before, and equally as likely that her father had planned for exactly that to happen, because apparently this world ran on shitty cliches. At this point, he half-expected the school to be attacked and destroyed during the Vytal Festival, because wouldn't that be the most original thing that could possibly happen? Nothing ever went wrong during the obligatory tournament arc, no sir.
So basically, Caroline was now at Beacon, away from her father for the first time in her life, and utterly unprepared to deal with the consequences of that. Coupled with it being that awkward time in every teenager's life when they really started to notice the opposite sex, and it was bound to end up a disaster. So now there was an absolute unit of a hot girl running around, crushing on him with no idea of how to explore that crush in a healthy way, so instead she resorted to bullying him in the hopes that it would make her feelings go away.
Needless to say, it wasn't working.
Now, Jaune would ordinarily be the first to call bullshit on any of this – girls as hot as her didn't just fall for guys as average as him, after all – but it was obviously what was happening. Caroline treated everyone the same way – with barely-disguised disdain and an undeservedly smug sense of superiority. He was the one exception to that; she was actually nervous around him, and he wasn't dumb or blind enough to think that it was because she was worried about him beating her in Combat Class.
No, it was plain as day that Caroline Winchester was crushing hard on him. He had no idea why, out of all people, she had fallen for him, but then again the heart worked in mysterious ways, if the relationship between his mother and father or Blake and tuna were to be believed.
Seriously, what was with that girl and tuna? It was fucking weird. She was going to get mercury poisoning at this rate.
Anyway, that aside, it was clear that Jaune had a bit of a quandary on his hands – he had to both convince Caroline to actually accept her feelings and act on them in a healthy manner, as well as find a way to reveal his own feelings to her in a way that didn't scare her off.
Luckily, he had just the plan for that. It was a cunning plan, one that nobody would see coming, and one that had a high probability of success.
Best part was, there was absolutely no way he could fuck it up.
"Caroline, I think I like you."
Yeah, turned out that the best approach seemed like it was going to be the direct approach. Sure, it wasn't exactly dramatic, but it wasn't like he could mess it up or send mixed signals. Besides, there was a reason why it was considered a classic – it just fucking worked, on top of being drama-free.
At least, that was his rationale for using it.
Unfortunately, he had neglected to consider that he was approaching an irrational situation from a rational standpoint, which meant that it was doomed to failure from the very beginning… just not in the way that he thought.
Caroline immediately flushed red and began to shake slightly. "W-what are you talking about Jauney-boy? L-like I would ever fall for a l-l-loser like you! F-funniest thing I've heard all day!"
Jaune rolled his eyes. "Caroline, I mean it."
She flinched, but was quick to disguise it with a forced grin. "A-alright Jauney, I'll admit that it's a g-good joke, but-"
"I know you like me too, Caroline."
Immediately, she stopped shaking. "No I don't! Don't joke about that, loser!"
The blonde facepalmed. Silently, he thanked the fact that he'd had enough foresight to corner Caroline as she was leaving the gym, so they were both alone. At first he had been thankful for it since otherwise the rest of her team would have been around to give him shit, but now it was because the fact that the two of them were alone meant that nobody was around to give her shit.
Seriously, this was pathetic. He got that she was sheltered and didn't know any better, but come on. A seventeen-year-old ought to know how to react when somebody confessed to them, and the fact that Caroline didn't was a damn travesty. He was almost tempted to curse her father for sheltering her so much, but then again he knew enough about her to know that she genuinely cared about her father, so that was a no-go.
Figures that out of all the girls in Beacon, I have to fall for the one that's probably the world's biggest daddy's girl. Just my fucking luck.
Now that he thought about it, it was actually kind of funny how the stereotypical bully was the only one who actually seemed to have a put-together home life. Like, let's consider everyone for a moment – Team JNPR's families were a fucking mess. Jaune himself had run away from home because, as much as he loved his family, they were overbearing as shit, and he just couldn't deal with it anymore. Then there was Pyrrha, who was still technically up in the air since she hadn't once talked about her family for as long as he knew her. Finally, there was Ren and Nora, who were in the running for most tragic backstories at Beacon – Nora was apparently a street rat from the earliest moment she could remember, and Ren's family were dead.
Needless to say, JNPR was fucked. It was a miracle they weren't all maladjusted miscreants… well, all of them who weren't Nora, that is – there was a reason why Jaune had kept both his crush on Caroline and her bullying of him a secret, and that reason started and ended with how Nora would react if she figured either one out.
And then there was Team RWBY, which was somehow even more fucked than his team was. Ruby and Yang seemed to care about their father, but they were both so out-of-control that it was clear they were the ones who ran the household, not him. Weiss, meanwhile, had a homelife that was so shitty she had run away to Beacon just to get away from it all, and her dad was well-known as probably the most racist man on Remnant. And then there was Blake, who… well, didn't talk about her family.
But then again she hadn't talked to Jaune at all, so it's not like he would know about her family anyway.
The point is, out of everybody in Beacon for him to crush on, it had to be the one girl who had a father who would absolutely come down to the school in order to rip his spine out once word got out that his daughter had found herself a boyfriend. It was almost enough to convince Jaune not to bother.
Almost, because those thighs and those tits made a very compelling counter-argument.
Fuck you, puberty. You can suck my newly-hairy balls.
Anyway, where was he? Oh, right – trying to convince the girl he liked to stop being dumb and just admit that she liked him back. It was like watching Blake and Yang at this point, only not nearly as forced.
He wasn't sure when his life had up and turned into a shitty anime, but whatever.
"Look, Caroline," he said, "I mean what I said. I really do like you, and I think you like me back."
And now she was sweating again, and looking around nervously. At the same time, she wasn't trying to run away, which was a good sign. Jaune gave her a reassuring grin.
"So, what do you say? Want to give it a shot?"
She was silent for a second… and then she started to laugh. Softly at first, but then harder. Tears were streaming down her face. Jaune felt his smile fade. Had he been wrong?
She recovered after a moment, standing back up after having been doubled over and wiping the tears from her eyes.
"T-that's… that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Jauney-boy," she said.
Well, shit. So much for that plan.
"W-who would like you, anyway?" she continued. "With your… y-your dumb boyish face and stupid golden hair and ridiculous blue eyes that I just keep losing myself in..." She huffed, then crossed her arms and turned away. "D-don't even think of asking me out! Especially not to that new pizza place that just opened up downtown! I w-wouldn't want to go with a nerd like you, anyway! So don't even try it, because there's definitely no way I'd show up!"
Jaune blinked, and slowly his grin returned. He nodded in understanding. "Alright, Caroline. I'll pick you up Saturday at five thirty."
"W-what did I just say?!" she demanded. "I s-said I wasn't interested, so don't do it! My friends will definitely be there at five thirty anyway, so definitely don't come by after I've had a chance to kick them out, like around six or so!"
Jaune nodded in understanding. "Okay. See you then."
"N-no you won't, loser!"
With that, she pushed him out of the way – a little more gently than usual – and hurried away, clearly flustered. Jaune merely pumped his fist in victory.
So this was how it felt to be a ladykiller, huh? He had her eating out of the palm of his hand, in the best way possible. Thank the Gods he had been right, otherwise this would have been a disaster.
That being said, her attitude was cause for concern. It had been cute at first, but now it was getting annoying. Hopefully actually going on a date with him would loosen him up, because otherwise it was going to get old fast.
I'm sure it'll get better. I mean, how bad could it possibly get?
As it turned out, very bad.
"D-don't you dare keep going! It's not like I enjoy the feeling of your dick inside me or anything!"
Jaune merely rolled his eyes, doing his best to keep his hips going. Caroline wasn't making it easy, of course – she kept squirming, pretending to do her best to throw him off. And damn if that hadn't been concerning – at first, he had thought she was actually not into it at all, only for her to force him back inside when he pulled out. Yeah, he probably should have seen that coming. Combined with the fact that she was much stronger than him, and it was clear that the only reason they were currently doing the do was because she had offered.
It was a bit quick, what with it having been just one date and all, but he wasn't about to say no, especially not with how she had practically coerced him into it. Apparently, her affection for him ran a lot deeper than he initially thought.
Not that she did a good job of showing it openly, of course.
"F-fuck! I-I mean… t-this dick is so tiny! I can't feel a thing!"
Yeah, that was why her tongue was hanging out of her mouth and her eyes were rolled back in her head. She looked like one of those poorly-drawn Mistralian cartoons that Professor Goodwitch had hidden behind the books in her office.
Why does it seem like someone else should have been the subject of that joke?
Anyway, that aside, the point was that it was the first time for both of them. And honestly, Jaune had expected something a lot different. Sure, it felt really good, but it was tough to focus on what he was feeling when Caroline wouldn't stop being enormously tsun.
"G-Gods…!" she gasped from underneath him. "I...I f-fucking hate you, Arc!"
"I know. By the way, I'm close."
"D-don't you dare cum inside! I-it's not like I'm on the pill or anything!"
Oh, come the fuck on, that statement wasn't even directly related to him! What was this, Opposite Day or something? This shit was getting ridiculous. Just for that, he really wasn't going to cum inside her.
Jaune pulled out at the last second, depriving her of what he knew she wanted. She blinked in surprise, only to sigh disappointedly a few seconds later.
"...Fine. It's not like I wanted your cum or anything, baka."
Okay, that was enough of that.
"Look, can we talk for a second?" Jaune asked, laying down on the bed next to her.
"About what, loser?"
"That."
"What?"
"The whole tsun thing you're doing. I really like you, but you're not making it easy."
"Y-yeah? Well… I don't like you!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
"Then explain what we just did."
"...Hate sex."
"You sure? Because the way you had your legs wrapped around me for a while and wouldn't stop kissing me screamed the opposite."
She flushed red, grabbing the covers and pulling them up to cover her bare chest. Jaune sighed.
"Look, just explain something to me, alright?" he asked. "Why do you feel the need to do this? I mean, it's clear that you feel the same way about me as I do about you. So what gives?"
She mumbled something, and Jaune frowned. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"You wouldn't get it..." she said.
"Try me, Caroline."
At this point, he didn't care if he ended up getting it or not, because this tsun shit had to end. How did people even like this kind of thing? It was just obnoxious, not to mention embarrassing for them both.
Man, fuck that old robot anime for getting everyone interested in this shitty character archetype thanks to that one redheaded girl. Only losers like her anyway.
And that was the moment when Jaune realized that he was unintentionally insulting himself, since he had just finished banging a hot tsun redhead of his own.
Oh, Gods damn it. What next, a white-haired waifu that only total virgins can appreciate?
...Yes, actually, considering that Weiss existed. Cursing himself, he struggled to think of the rest. He was oh-for-two, but he wasn't about to let himself insult himself like that, not if he had anything to say about it.
Okay, fine, I'll play your game. I mean, it's not like there's a hot onee-san who may or may not be into younger boys, who's also an alcoholic, but who is also one of the most important people around, and that only people too afraid to make the first move like because she's super aggressive and would pursue them instead.
And then he remembered that Professor Goodwitch was a thing.
Oh, come the fuck on! You know what? Fine, fuck it. You win, universe. I'm not even going to ask if there's a twink who may or may not be into me as more than a friend.
Thank God he didn't bother to ask that, because he just so happened to remember that Ren was a thing. Pushing those disturbing thoughts and self-roasts aside, he focused on the conversation at hand.
Caroline bit her lip, but finally sighed. "...Alright, fine. It's… it's not you, it's me."
Jaune raised an eyebrow at that. "Seriously?"
"What do you mean, 'seriously'?"
"I mean, it seems a bit hasty to break up over this, doesn't it? I though what we had was-"
"You idiot, I'm not breaking up with you! I'm trying to say that you haven't done anything wrong!"
"...Oh."
Well, now he felt kind of stupid. In his defense, there was traditionally only one way the 'It's not you, it's me' speech ever ended.
Has anyone ever used that speech to any kind of success? He somehow doubted it; he couldn't think of any other more surefire way to indicate to another person that you meant the opposite of what you were saying. Nobody who ever used the 'It's not you, it's me' speech truly believed it was them.
Anyway, horrible breakup lines aside, there were more important things to worry about right now.
"Caroline, please," Jaune asked. "Tell me what's wrong. Whatever it is, we can work through it."
Caroline sighed softly before giving him a grateful look. "You really don't make it easy, you know?"
"Make what easy?"
"Trying to hate you."
Jaune frowned. "Why are you trying to hate me?"
"I figured that if I managed to convince myself I didn't like you, that I'd stop liking you."
"But you basically led me to your room the instant we got back to Beacon."
"...Yeah, it didn't work, so I figured that if I just slept with you once, it would go away."
Jaune just stared at her. Caroline blinked, embarrassed. "...Obviously, that didn't work either."
Okay, but why though? This seemed incredibly convoluted and, if he dared to say it, downright stupid.
"...You know, there are easier ways to bully someone," he offered.
"What?"
"Like, if you really wanted to show your tsun side by bullying me, there's always shoving me in a locker."
"Jaune-"
"Or giving me a wedgie."
"Jaune, seriously-"
"Or maybe just going for the age-old nut tap, though I guess you kind of just got finished doing that-"
"Jaune!" she said, cutting him off. He stared at her, and she sighed tiredly. "Just listen, alright? Trust me when I say that this isn't something I want to do, it's something I have to do."
"And why is that?"
"Because my dad wouldn't approve of our relationship."
"Ah."
Well, it wasn't like he was expecting anything different – he had, after all, put those pieces together himself a while back. Still, there were a few things he wanted to know.
"...Am I really that bad that he wouldn't approve?" he wondered aloud.
Caroline quickly shook her head. "No! No, Jaune – you're a great guy, alright? I had a great time tonight, and I don't just mean the sex. Being around you is… well, it's just fantastic."
Well, that was certainly a confidence booster.
"Unfortunately, you're also a huge nerd, and you come from a loser family."
And there it went. "...I see," he said.
She shrugged. "I mean, I don't think that matters, but my dad definitely would."
"Yeah, I know." He paused. "...Hang on, you think my family is a loser family?"
"...Kind of? Don't you all live in a little shack in the middle of nowhere?"
"...Maybe."
She stared at him blankly. Jaune just sighed. "...Alright, point taken."
Yeah, not worth arguing about that, given that his family was pretty dirt-poor. He still remembered that one Winter Solstice where his parents had spent all their money on gifts for him and his sisters, plus preparing for the new baby that was on the way, and had therefore been forced to jury-rig dinner.
Needless to say, roasted squirrel with wild blackberry stuffing hadn't exactly been a hit.
Still, they may have been poor in lien, but they were rich in character, and he knew that if given the chance, he could convince Caroline's father otherwise.
"Don't do it," she suddenly warned.
Jaune blinked. "Do what?"
"Whatever you're thinking about."
"What makes you think I'm thinking of something?"
"Because you have the same look on your face now as you do whenever you're thinking about my tits whenever I'm shoving you into a locker."
"...You, ah, knew about that?"
"Knew about it? Jaune, I've been going without a bra for weeks, specifically because I enjoyed your reaction."
"...You ever stop to think that maybe the reason why your plan to convince yourself to hate me didn't work was because you were sabotaging yourself?"
"No, but now that you mention it-"
Uh oh. "Uh, hey, let's talk less about that and more about the stupid plan I'm totally thinking of right now!"
She shrugged. "Okay, sure."
Man, he almost couldn't believe that worked. 'Almost' because, hot as she was and as much as he liked her, Caroline wasn't exactly the smartest person in the world – her Faunus hatred was proof enough of that.
Should probably do something to address that.
The only question was what. Powerful as the D was, even it had its limits. He wasn't sure what they were quite yet, but something told him that the ability to make cute girls go all ahegao was about the most he could expect.
It wasn't like he was going to be turning evildoers over to the side of good with the power of his cock, or anything. That would just be stupid.
Then again, if the D itself couldn't solve that problem, he could always try withholding the D and hope that resulted in some progress. Yeah, it seemed crazy at first, but experience had taught him that women could be just as stupid about sex as men, and go equally crazy and/or become equally likely to do crazy things in order to go back to taking the full six inches as soon as possible.
Damn, who would have thought the thin walls in my shack would actually result in something that wasn't traumatizing and was actually helpful? Suddenly, all those times of hearing Mom pin Dad down and ride him like a rodeo cowboy actually don't seem so bad.
That being said, he was still never going to forgive his parents for not having the common courtesy to at least turn the fucking radio on first. Then again, he supposed there was a reason they had gone for eight kids.
Snapping himself out of those mildly disturbing thoughts, he turned back to Caroline. "Right, so, your dad isn't going to like me right now, yeah?"
"Yup," she replied.
"Okay, so all I have to do is get him to like me."
"Yeah, that's not going to happen."
"Why not? I'm a likable guy."
"Jaune, no offense, but you're a huge geek," she replied. "You still read comic books, you like video games, and you can't fight to save your life. Literally the coolest thing you've done since getting into Beacon is sleep with me, and unfortunately for you, that's going to stay between us."
Oh, come on. Did she really think he was going to go around bragging to his friends about how he had slept with Caroline Winchester? He wasn't a pig.
More importantly, none of them would care – Nora and Yang would just make jokes at his expense, Blake would grunt and keep reading her stupid porn books, Weiss would snap at him for sharing that because she was a huge prude, Pyrrha was so far above the rest of them in terms of sheer coolness that she probably wouldn't bother concerning herself with the goings-on of a mere mortal like him, Ren would be too busy trying to wrangle Nora to care about what he was saying, and he honestly wasn't sure if Ruby even knew what sex was considering she was so childish with everything else.
Geez, they're weird. I think I might need some new friends, because hanging out with the misfits isn't doing me any favors. I'm pretty sure half of them don't even know I exist.
"Don't worry," he said. "I won't tell anyone."
She relaxed slightly. "Good. The last thing I need is for this to get out and somehow find its way back to my dad."
"Oh, that's why you wanted me to keep it a secret."
"Of course. Why else would I want to keep it between us?"
"...Uh, no reason," he quickly said. "So, I have to ask – what do we do, then? Because I don't think either one of us wants this to end."
She shrugged, letting out a sad sigh as she did so. "...I don't know. You're a great guy, Jaune, but… I just don't know how we're going to make this relationship work. I really don't want it to end, but-"
"Then we'll find a way," he said, taking her by surprise. He flashed her a small grin. "Hey, I really like you, okay? I want this to end about as much as you do."
She seemed uncertain about how to react at first, but finally let out a small giggle. "Yeah, okay. Let's do it, then. Let's find a way."
As it turned out, they eventually did. It wasn't their first choice, but it was the best way they could think of. Neither of them had any illusions about how difficult maintaining the illusion would be, but they both knew it would be worth it.
Seriously, they may have both been virgins, but even they recognized good sex when they had it.
A week had passed since Jaune had hooked up with Caroline and they had "officially" become girlfriend and boyfriend. Nobody knew but them, of course – they were careful to keep it between themselves, keeping their time together reserved for small trips to Vale after classes ended for the day, and occasionally sneaking off during breaks between classes for some "alone time" in one of the unoccupied dorm rooms.
Anyway, besides that, the status quo went on – Jaune's friends were completely oblivious, as were Caroline's.
But there was a cost for that secrecy, and it wasn't exactly one that either of them were thrilled to pay.
"What have you got for me today, meat?"
Jaune had to resist rolling his eyes. Of course she would still try to tease him even when she was supposed to be "bullying" him. Just for that, he'd show her what his "meat" could do later in the day.
"...I've got a couple lien in my wallet," he offered.
Caroline scoffed. "Fine, I guess that'll do." She looked back at her team, snapping her fingers.
They were on him in an instant, patting him down for anything in his pockets. Aside from Sky, who got his wallet, none of them had anything to show for it. Caroline sent him an apologetic look as he was being patted down; clearly, she was about as thrilled with this arrangement as he was, especially since she was going to have to make it "convincing" and leave him with a bruise or two in order to really sell it. They had done this song-and-dance before, of course, so he wasn't too worried – she would give him a soft tap to the stomach, just enough to knock the air out of his lungs, then act like she was satisfied, and then really make it up to him later.
Boy, would she make it up to him later.
"Next time, just lie back and let me do all the work. I'll do whatever you want~."
And if that wasn't enticing enough to get him to roll with the punches, he didn't know what was.
And to think that there were some people who thought dating your bully couldn't work, and that it was only for bad romance anime. What did they know? Here he was, mere hours away from nutting like a champion, and all it would cost was a few bruises (his stolen lien, naturally, would be returned to him by her).
"Got it, boss," Sky said, holding up his wallet proudly.
Caroline nodded in approval, though Jaune could see in her gaze that she wasn't happy right now. "Alright. Let's see what we got."
Sky nodded, then opened up the wallet, thrusting his hand inside. Instantly, he went stone-faced. "Oh?"
Caroline crossed her arms. "Well?"
A sly grin crossed Sky's face. He turned to Jaune, a predatory look crossing over him. "Jauney-boy, you should have told us!"
Don't take the bait, Jaune. He's just trying to rile you up.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Caroline asked, clearly impatient.
Sky, never one for subtlety, replied by simply pulling his hand out of the wallet, revealing something that was definitely not a lien card. Instantly, Jaune went red-faced, and Caroline fell silent.
Sky's grin widened as he held up the condom. "So, Jauney-boy, who's the lucky girl?"
Jaune coughed softly, shaking his head. Russel scowled, stepping forward and grabbing him by the shirt.
"You know, chivalry's been dead for a while," he said. "You might as well tell us who the whore is."
Behind him, Caroline grit her teeth. Jaune was tempted to say something, but wasn't sure whether he wanted to try and calm her down or rile Russel up enough that she started beating on him just out of principle. Either way, if things went off without a hitch, he won.
But that was a pretty big 'if', so he decided to play it safe instead.
"So you can torment her? No, thanks," Jaune said.
Russel scowled, cocking his fist back. Jaune braced himself for it to impact against his head, only for Caroline to suddenly step in, catching it and holding it back. Russel gave her a questioning glance, and she just glared at him.
"I'll take it from here," she said.
Russel nodded in acknowledgment, then stepped back. Caroline took his place, grabbing Jaune's shirt and pulling him up to stare at him. And then, to his surprise, she whispered something to him under her breath, barely audible even with their close proximity to each other.
"Just roll with it."
Jaune barely had time to react before she slammed both hands on either side of his head and leaned down, essentially forcing him against the locker as she leaned down, leering at him with a predatory grin. Despite knowing she was on his side, he couldn't help but swallow nervously.
"So, Jauney-boy got himself a girlfriend, huh?" Caroline asked.
Behind her, her boys started jeering. Jaune, meanwhile, remembered her advice and decided to just roll with it, nodding slightly.
"Uh, y-yeah?"
She barked out a laugh. "Oh, now that's cute. Say, Jauney, she good in bed?"
"Um… yeah, I'd say so."
"Oh, that so? I bet she must be a real filthy girl. I mean, if she's getting with your stank ass, that must be true."
"I don't think-"
"So, tell me what you like to get up to with her. C'mon, I won't tell anyone."
Well, this was certainly going too far. Was she still acting? It was honestly hard to tell if she had planned this out at all or was just improvising this off the cuff.
The rest of her team seemed to love it though, given they were all laughing like fucking hyenas behind her.
It's not even that funny.
Then again, something told him that Caroline wasn't keeping them around for their stellar senses of humor.
Wait, hold on… are they just simps?
A question for another time, he supposed; there were more pressing matters at hand.
Tearing his attention away from his hot girlfriend's amazing chest (not his fault; they were right in his face and she wasn't wearing a bra, the fucking tease) to focus on her face, Jaune nodded once more.
"I'd… rather not talk about it."
"Really, now?" Caroline asked. Jaune nodded, sighing softly in relief. Hopefully, that would be the end of it – there didn't seem to be anywhere for her to go past that point.
If only he were so lucky.
"Then why don't I take a guess, then?"
Uh oh. "Uh-"
She gazed over his whole body, appraising him. He could have sworn he saw her lick her lips, but that would have been a bit too bold for her, especially since she was supposed to still be in-character as his bully.
"Like I said, I'll be that she's a real filthy girl," Caroline said. "The kind who wants nothing more than for you to try to take control, so the two of you can fight for dominance before one of you finally wins."
Oddly specific.
Behind her, her team was rolling on the floor, clutching at their sides. She ignored them, instead focusing on Jaune. "I'll be she's such a freak that she's even willing to let a noodle like you take control and be dominant most of the time. Hell, that's probably what she secretly craves."
Where are you going with this, Caroline?
"And beyond that, I'll be she's got a whole bunch of dirty things she's just craving to try – maybe some light bondage, and some anal."
She winked at him, and he immediately got the message, rolling his eyes in exasperation.
Alright, I get it now.
"You know what? You might just be right," he said.
She barked out a laugh at that. "You hear that, boys? Jauney's a little pervert."
"Yeah, I am," he announced proudly. "I have a hot girlfriend who I love to death. We're going to do all kinds of filthy things together."
Again, she laughed… but this time, it sounded a bit forced. He was about to ask what was wrong when he saw her tug at her collar a bit and wipe a bit of sweat from her forehead. He raised an eyebrow, and she cast a glance behind her to make sure her friends were still preoccupied before motioning for him to continue.
Of course she's getting off to this.
"Anyway, let me explain what I'm gonna do," he said. "As soon as you're done bullying me, I'm gonna meet up with my girlfriend."
"Oh, yeah?"
"We're gonna find an unoccupied dorm room. I'm gonna take all my belts there with me."
"Oh, y-yeah?"
"And I'm gonna try out some of that light bondage that she's definitely interested in. Just, like, tie her up and make her into a drooling, moaning mess by the end of it. It's gonna be super hot and kinky."
She didn't say anything for a second, as she was too busy biting her lip. Jaune snapped his fingers, which shook her out of it. Caroline wiped some more sweat away, then barked out another laugh.
"Damn, Jauney. You're a bold one. You sure she'll be down for something that lewd?"
"Oh, I think she will," he said. "After all, she's a bad girl. And bad girls get spankings."
Well, that was cringeworthy… but Caroline seemed to love it. Standing up straight, she quickly put herself in order before joining her boys in laughter, doubling over as she pointed at him.
"Ah, man, that's rich," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "Thanks for the laugh, Jauney-boy – I really needed it. Just for that, I'm not gonna shove you in your locker."
Turning back to her team, she motioned for them to fall in behind her. "Come on, boys. Let's get some grub. We'll play with this loser some other time."
They seemed to accept that, each of them filing in behind her as she made a beeline for the cafeteria. Jaune watched her go, taking note of the extra sway she put in her steps as she went. She rounded the corner, and not a second later, his scroll chimed.
'Meet me in the usual spot in twenty minutes. Bring your belts and some lube.'
Well, who was he to argue? And people said bullying was a bad thing. If only all bullying incidents could end like this, the world would be a much better place. This was even better than those shitty teen movies where the hero got to get revenge on his bully by making it with the hot girl – here, his bully was the hot girl, and making it with her was the revenge.
Man, is there any way this could go wrong?
It would be barely a day before he regretted making that statement.
The day had started off so normally, too – Jaune had woken up, gotten dressed, and eaten breakfast without anything going wrong. In retrospect, that should have been the second big clue that something was seriously wrong.
The first should have been when he had woken up and found both Pyrrha and Nora were missing.
Of course, he hadn't thought much of it at the time – Nora, as it turned out, was a lot like a six-year-old in that she preferred to wake up as early as possible in order to stuff her face with sugary breakfast foods, which meant that someone (usually Ren) had to accompany her. Recently, she had started letting Jaune go with her instead, citing the fact that Ren often needed a bit more sleep than she did, owing to his habit of staying up late trying to repair the common area's blender whenever he jammed it by making his 'health drinks'. Sure, it was weird for her to have had Pyrrha accompany her to the cafeteria this time, but Jaune had always figured that it was just a matter of time.
That lasted for about as long as it had taken for him to open his scroll and see that Nora had sent him an image with an attached message of 'present 4 u'. Curious, he had opened it, and immediately been assaulted by an image of a young woman that was unmistakably Caroline being forced to kneel, a bag over her head and her arms bound behind her back, as Pyrrha and Nora (both wearing ski masks, because of course they were) stood on either side of her, each one of them holding an electric razor, for reasons he could only guess at.
He didn't have to guess for long, as his scroll chimed with another message, once more from Nora.
'yea jaune-jaune we got her wallahi we will not rest until the bullying dogs have been shaved bare, inshallah'
Jaune immediately sighed, bringing his palm up to his face. Of course, Nora would somehow find out that he was being bullied and seek to deal with it in a way that she deemed appropriate, that was just his fucking luck. And the day had started off so peaceful, too. Still, he supposed that wasn't the most surprising part – no, that would have to go to the fact that Nora somehow managed to get Pyrrha of all people to go along with her harebrained scheme. How she had managed to get Pyrrha – a girl who didn't have an evil bone in her body, to the point where she was pretty much officially the nicest girl in school, and who had at one point apologized 118 times in a single school day (yes, he had counted) – to go along with this, he had no idea.
Right, better take care of this before they shave Caroline bald.
Luckily, finding them wasn't hard – from the background of the photo, they were in one of the classrooms, likely Port's.
Of course it would be Port's. They probably bribed him by calling him handsome and asking for a story.
Pushing his way inside the classroom, Jaune found himself rolling his eyes when he saw Nora and Pyrrha standing there, poised with razors in their hands. Both looked over to him as he stepped inside, Nora waving him over.
"Ah, good! Now we can begin!"
She tore the bag off Caroline's head, revealing that the well-muscled girl was both glaring daggers at both the other girls and had been gagged with a sock, keeping her completely silent.
It's like last night all over again.
Unfortunately, Jaune didn't get a chance to revel in the memory, because both girls took the opportunity to rev up their razors.
"Wait!" Jaune said frantically, desperate to stop them from doing something he and Caroline would regret.
Both his teammates exchanged a look before reluctantly obeying, powering down their razors before glancing over at him.
"Why'd you want us to stop, Jaune-Jaune?" Nora asked.
"Doesn't this seem a little extreme to you?"
To his surprise, it was Pyrrha who shook her head. "Jaune, she and her team have been bullying you for weeks. I think it's time for a little revenge."
"Okay, first off, you have no idea how weird it is hearing that come from you. Second off, it's really not that bad."
"Not that bad? Jaune, she's stolen your money, shoved you in a locker full of dirty gym clothes, and deleted your Animal Crossing save file from your scroll."
Okay, yeah, that last one was pretty bad, but that had been a very long time ago and the apology blowjobs had more than made up for it. He couldn't tell them that, of course, but still, the fact remained that he was over it.
Mostly.
Rest in peace, System Of A Town. Gone, but not forgotten. Your memory shall forever be enshrined in your replacement save file… and also in my girlfriend's mouth, I suppose.
Shaking that thought from his mind, Jaune looked back at his two teammates, frowning.
"How'd you two even find out about my bullying, anyway? I was really trying to keep it on the down-low so I could handle it myself."
Nora shrugged. "Overheard Sky bragging about it with the other two last night."
Caroline rolled her eyes at that, both because of her teammates being so stupid and because she had been too preoccupied with getting a spanking to wrangle them and stop them from being so stupid. But that was neither here nor there.
"Anyway," Nora continued, "Once I overheard that, it was a simple matter of threatening to break their legs in order to get them to spill the beans. Fun fact: did you know that Russel's worst fear is being crippled? He looked like he was about to pee himself when I said that to him."
"I think he actually might have peed himself a little," Pyrrha pointed out, a bit too enthusiastically for Jaune's liking.
Wait a second, Pyrrha was there?!
"Pyrrha, you helped Nora shake down Team CRDL?!" Jaune asked.
Pyrrha rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "...I'll admit that it was a bit out-of-character for me, but nobody messes with my partner and gets away with it."
This just kept getting weirder and weirder. Frankly, he already wasn't sure how to handle it; any more revelations like this and he would truly be out of his league.
Unsure of how to proceed, Jaune eventually decided to bite the bullet and just take the direct approach.
"Look, I don't want you to shave Caroline, okay? Just leave her alone."
"What are you talking about?" Nora asked. "Jaune, she's bullying you! We can't just sit idly by and let that happen!"
Jaune glanced over at Caroline, who looked back with pleading eyes. An entire conversation seemed to pass between the two of them, unsaid but communicated nonetheless.
"You really want me to do this?"
"Yes."
"Even though there's a real risk of you being shaved bald?"
"Still better than my dad finding out."
"He's probably going to find out anyway, you know. I might as well tell them now so you can keep your hair."
"No!"
"So you'd rather explain to him why you're bald?"
"It'd be easier than explaining to him why my hymen isn't intact anymore!"
"I really hope you're being hyperbolic with that."
"Of course, you moron! What'd you think I was trying to say?!"
Alright, that was enough of that conversation. Clearly, she was committed to keeping the ruse going. He thought it was stupid, but if it was what his girlfriend wanted, he would go along with it.
"Look, I'm just not a vengeful person," Jaune offered.
"But I am," Nora countered.
Well, so much for that approach. "Um… This whole thing kind of makes me uncomfortable."
"And being shoved into a locker doesn't?" Pyrrha asked.
"...You know, it's not so bad in there. I kind of like it – it's private. Also, it's surprisingly spacious."
Even Caroline rolled her eyes at that, which kind of peeved him off a little.
Come on, I'm already reaching! The least you could do is show a little appreciation!
"Well, maybe I just feel like cutting someone's hair," Nora interjected.
"So cut Ren's."
"NEVER!" the orange-haired girl shouted. "Ren's hair is amazing! It's like running your hand through a sloth's fur."
"Don't sloths carry all sorts of fungus and other assorted nastiness around on their fur?"
"...Okay, maybe not quite like running your hand through a sloth's fur, but it's still very nice! Anyway, I'm gonna shave her now."
With that, Nora revved up her razor once more, Pyrrha joining her not a second later. Jaune's eyes widened as the razors approached his girlfriend's head. Caroline seemed to accept her fate, closing her eyes and trying to go with as much dignity as possible, but Jaune wouldn't stand for it.
Sorry babe, but it has to be done.
"Wait!" he called. "This is all a big misunderstanding! Caroline isn't bullying me!"
"He's delusional!" Nora called to Pyrrha. "Don't stop!"
"Damn it, Caroline's my girlfriend!" Jaune shouted.
Instantly, there was silence. The three girls were staring at him with wide eyes, as if they couldn't quite believe what they were hearing. Steadily, this gave way to other reactions – Nora seemed unsure of what to believe, Pyrrha was confused, and Caroline had a heavy blush on her face, one that she was trying to conceal by looking down at the floor. Pyrrha was the first to recover, clearing her throat.
"…Care to repeat that? I don't think we quite heard you."
"I said, Caroline is my girlfriend," Jaune replied. "She has been for a little while now. Before that, she had a huge crush on me. That's why she bullied me – she didn't know how to express her crush for me, and she also didn't want to pursue her attraction because she was afraid her overprotective dad would find out."
Pyrrha blinked before sighing sadly, then turning to Nora. "...He's got that syndrome where victims latch onto their abusers."
"Jauney's a battered wife?" Nora asked.
"It would seem so. You know what that means?"
"No."
"It means now, we're going to have to shave her twice as hard."
"Wait, please!" Jaune called, once again getting them to pause. "I know it's hard to believe, but it's true! Caroline is my girlfriend – we've had sex and everything!"
Caroline let out a low groan, sinking even lower. Again, Pyrrha and Nora exchanged glances.
"...So, what you're saying," Pyrrha tentatively began, "is that she didn't just bully you, but she also raped you?"
"Wha- no! No, no, no! I wanted to have sex with her!"
"Jaune, you're not making any sense."
"You're not making any sense! Why is this so hard for you to believe?!"
"Well, excuse me for finding it difficult to believe that my partner's bully is actually his girlfriend."
"Oh, for the love of-"
Finally fed up, Jaune marched forward, approaching his girlfriend and ripping the sock out of her mouth.
"Tell them, Caroline," Jaune pleaded. "Tell them we're together."
Caroline blinked, staring up at him with wide eyes. For a moment, Jaune was relieved that she seemed to have seen things his way.
It died when she opened her mouth.
"W-why would I ever be interested in a l-loser like you?"
Jaune facepalmed. "Gods damn it, this is no time to be tsun!"
"W-who's being tsun? N-not me; d-definitely no anime stutters here, heh-heh."
"Yeah, okay." He turned over to Pyrrha. "Please don't tell me you actually believe this."
The champion merely shrugged. "She makes a pretty convincing argument."
"Pyrrha!"
"Well, she does."
Jaune grit his teeth. He needed to find some way to fix this, and fast. And then it occurred to him – the fastest way to convince any tsundere to come around was to expose them to the one thing they hated more than anything in the world.
A romantic development that didn't include them. Smirking, Jaune put his hands on his hips. "Then I guess that's that. Congrats, you all figured me out – this was an elaborate ruse the whole time."
"Glad to hear it," Pyrrha said. "That means I still have a chance, and-"
"And now that I've been revealed, there's no sense hiding it anymore. Yes, all this was just a cover, done to hide my feelings for my one true love."
Pyrrha started to swoon, clasping her hands together. "Oh, Jaune~ Why didn't you say-"
"And now that I'm free from the confines of insecurity, I'm free to chase after her," Jaune announced. He looked over to her, the girl who had 'captured his attention', and sank down to one knee, grabbing her by the hand and holding it to his chest.
"Will you go out with me, Nora?"
Immediately, Pyrrha went stone-faced. "What."
Nora blinked, surprised. "Um, Jaune? What are you doing?"
"Asking out my one true love," he replied. Looking over to Caroline out of the corner of his eye, he found her gnashing her teeth in rage, forcing herself to hold back.
Just as planned.
Nora shook her head. "You're barking up the wrong tree, mister."
"Am I?" he replied. "We'll make it a pancake date, Nora. Any kind of pancakes you want."
"You're seriously laying it on thick. Pyrrha, tell him-"
"Enough!" Caroline shouted.
There was a tearing sound as the girl ripped through her restraints, then suddenly lunged forward and grabbed a hold of Jaune, protectively pulling his head into her chest before glaring at the other two girls.
"Mine," she hissed. Letting Jaune come up for air, she smirked at him. "You thought you could just break if off like that, did you?"
Frantically, Jaune shook his head. "Just an act, babe."
"Well, it worked." Looking back at the other two, she glared at them once more. "Stay away from my man, you hussies. Don't make me cut you."
Great, apparently she had gone from tsundere to yandere. Nora seemed to be taking it in stride, while Pyrrha was seething, apparently angered at such an accusation.
Jaune couldn't blame her; he'd be pissed about being rused like this, too.
"Pyrrha, it's alright," he said. "I know it's hard to believe, but Caroline and I truly are happy together."
"Jaune, that's not it!" the champion protested. "The truth is, I lo-"
Caroline suddenly scoffed, looping her arms around Jaune. "Oh, whatever. Are we done here?"
"I think so," Jaune said.
Nora looked over at Pyrrha before turning her attention back to Jaune. "Actually, there's something-"
"Good," Caroline announced. "Because now that these two know about us, there's no way it's going to be kept a secret."
At that, Jaune winced. "Yeah… sorry, babe."
She merely shrugged. "What's done is done." A grin started to spread across her face. "But anyway, now that we've been exposed, I guess there's no need to hide it anymore, is there?"
"...Well, when you put it that way-"
"Then let's go, Jauney-Boy," she said impatiently, grabbing his hand and staring to pull him down the hall. "We've got to make the most of it before my dad finds out."
Jaune was tempted to argue, but honestly, she had a point. It was only a matter of time before her father found out, and there would be hell to pay… so for now, he might as well roll with the punches.
Why do I keep getting myself into these messes?
Okay, I know I've mentioned giving Pyrrha a break at some point, but come on, it's just too easy, and in this specific instance, it was too good of a chance to pass up. I promise that I'm trying to dial it back, but it just kind of comes out anyway.
Anyway, that aside, this one was certainly interesting to write. I kind of figured early on that the only way I was ever going to make this pairing work was if I made Caroline into a tsundere with a very stupid reason for being a tsundere, so that's what I went with.
And hey, there's another good end! To be honest, I think the bad end thing could use a rest for a bit. Our boy needs a break from constantly getting shit on for once, don't you think?
Besides all of that, I don't have much else. I've got a few more R63 characters I'm planning, but I'm going to try and space them out. That being said, the ideas have been flowing for them for some reason, so don't be surprised if I end up putting out two in a row just this once.
Next update: Saturday, May 30.