Chapter 26: Back to Good Times

2 years later…

"Case number five hundred and thousand seven hundred and sixty-six…ten," Gloria began. "The jurisdiction is we the state VS Melissa Avalo on the murder of Ashley Montes. Mrs. Avalo, did you kill Ashley Montes?"

"Yes," Melissa answered.

"Why did you kill her?"

"Because she ate my sour—er—my sweet and sour chicken."

"She ate your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yep."

"Why did she eat your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Because…"

Gloria started to laugh a little. "Is that it? Because? That's your answer? Because?"

Melissa smiled as she answered. "Yep."

"Anyways…so she ate your sweet and sour chicken. Where exactly did you guys eat Chinese food at?"

"Chinese restaurant."

"What was the Chinese restaurant's name?"

"Chinese restaurant."

The recorder stopped before Gloria could continue. Melissa signaled her to stop. "I gotta press record," she said.

"Well hurry up," Gloria commanded.

Someone opened the door. It was Duke, coming to see what they were doing. "What are you guys doing?" he asked.

"We're doing a court case," Melissa replied.

"Yeah, Melissa murdered Ashley," Gloria added.

"Mind if I listen?" Duke asked.

"No, we don't mind," Melissa said.

"Can you please click record?" Gloria whined.

"Alright goddamn it! Hold your horses!" Melissa shouted.

It has been 2 years since Gloria, Melissa, Ashley, Caitlin, and Jessica defeated Ation and Cyberdemon. Ation had died nearly a year ago from Melissa's torturous punishment. Gloria and Ashley weren't exactly like Melissa so they didn't participate in it. Caitlin and Jessica weren't the killing type-of people. So they weren't involved whatsoever. They had earned the title as the World's Guardians. Not only did they protect Tranquility, but the rest of the world as well. And now, there was more to the group. Gloria, Ashley, Melissa, Jessica, and Caitlin had married the ones they loved. And they shared their power with James, Orlando, Duke, Leon, and Johnny. Now James and Orlando were vampires, Duke was a silver dragon, Leon was a warlock, and Johnny was a pirate. They too were blessed with eternal life like when Gloria and Ashley gave Jessica, Caitlin, and Melissa eternal life. But they could still die from something happening to their heart, except by natural causes.

Craig had not yet returned from his journey south. He was also now an official member. As for the thunder lizards, fire horses, and Nerubians, they once again flourished the land and were in peace with humans, although they did encounter a few conflicts now and then. Ashley, Jessica, Caitlin, Melissa, and Gloria also had new homes in Tranquility and the jobs they had wanted since they were younger. Or at least some of them did. Gloria was now a lab tech in the TCPD lab. Ashley was still taking classes to be a doctor. Caitlin was still taking classes to be a marine biologist and an actress, but was now a seal trainer. Jessica was still taking classes to be a pediatrician. Finally Melissa was taking classes to be a vet but was already an artist and author.

Today, Gloria was at Melissa's house, sleeping over like old times. While they're adults, they still have the kid in them. They sometimes acted as if they were teenagers. Jessica, Caitlin, and Ashley were busy doing something else. Both girls were in Melissa's room, using the sound recorder that was in Melissa's laptop. It was approximately 9:00 PM. Melissa finally clicked record and Gloria continued. She also pretended to sound irritated. "Yes! I know it was a Chinese restaurant, but what was the name of the restaurant?"

"Chinese restaurant," Melissa answered again.

"Ok." Gloria gave up. "Where was this Chinese restaurant at?"

"In China."

"You guys were never in China."

"We weren't?"

"No! You were in Chinatown in LA."

"Ok. So we were in Chinatown in LA."

"Mrs. Avalo, are you insane?"

"Maybe." Melissa said it the way Fat Bastard from "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" and "Austin Powers: Goldmember" would say it.

"Are you sure? For killing your best friend over SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN!"

"No."

"Did you kill Ashley Montes?"

"No."

Gloria groaned, annoyed. She was not faking it this time. "But did she eat your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yes."

"She ate your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yes!" Melissa was getting annoyed herself from answering the same questions.

"And you killed her?"

"No."

"What if she ate your fried rice? Would you have killed her too?"

"No."

"Just your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yep."

Gloria raised a brow. She tried to contain her laughter, but couldn't do it. She started giggling as she spoke. "Wh—why the sweet and sour chicken?"

"Because it was my chicken!" Melissa exclaimed, pretending to be angry.

"It was your chicken?"

"Yep."

"It was your sweet and sour chicken."

"It was MY SPECIAL CHICKEN! I spent a dollar on it!"

Gloria stayed silent for a brief moment. "Ok…A dollar well spent."

"Yep," Melissa agreed.

"So…what did she have to eat?" Gloria asked.

Melissa thought for a few seconds. "Rice and noodles…and tea."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"What did you eat?"

"I ate crab and fish and shrimp and sweet and sour chicken and rice and noodles and beef and broccoli and…"

"Chow mien," Gloria whispered to Melissa.

"…chow mien and that's it," Melissa added.

"Why did she only have noodles and rice and tea?"

"Because she only had—twenty bucks."

Gloria was silent again and started laughing again as she continued to converse. "How much did the rice cost and how much did all of that cost?"

The recorder stopped before Gloria could say "how much did all of that cost?" "Hold on G. I gotta press record again," Melissa declared.

"Goddamn it! Keep an eye on that thing!" Gloria ordered.

"I'm sorry!" Melissa yelled. Melissa had previously forgotten to press record in the other things they had recorded.

"For heaven's sake, I'll keep an eye on it!" Duke offered.

"Ok," said Gloria.

Duke clicked record and Gloria asked the same question. "How much did all of that cost?"

"I dunno. I didn't pay the bill," responded Melissa.

"How much did yours cost?"

"Over fifty bucks."

"Over fifty dollars?"

"Yep."

"How much was the beef and broccoli?"

"I dunno."

"So explain to me. How did she eat your sweet and sour chicken?"

"She took it while I was eating it."

"She took it out of your mouth?"

Melissa's eyebrow rose. "No! She took it out of my plate."

"What did she grab it with? Chopsticks?"

"No."

"Fork?"

"No."

"Spoon?"

"No."

"Knife?"

"No."

Gloria ran out of ideas. "Stick?"

Melissa looked at her as if she were weird. "No."

"What?"

"Her hands."

"Oh, my God." Gloria said it like it was a dramatic moment. "So she took your sweet and sour chicken?"

Melissa was sick and tired of answering that question. "Yep."

"With her hands?"

"Yep!"

"And she ate it?"

"Yep!"

"Ok…So she ate your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yes!"

"How when—how much sweet and sour chicken did she eat before you killed her?"

"All of it."

"All if it?"

"Yep."

"So she ate your dollar sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yep."

"Couldn't you just get another sweet and sour chicken or just say 'hey why are you eating my sweet and sour chicken? I paid a dollar for it, not you'?"

"No."

"Why didn't you say that?"

"Because…"

"It was your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yep."

"Just your sweet and sour chicken?"

"Yep."

"Why didn't you share with her? Why didn't you just let it pass by?"

"Because she's too ugly."

"How was she ugly? She had a boyfriend, she had ten kids—"

"Excuse me, she looked like a guy! She was growing hair!"

Gloria and Duke started cracking up as well as Melissa. "Will you please state that to the jury again?" laughed Gloria.

Melissa stopped laughing for a while. "She was growing hair in unnecessary places!" Gloria and Duke started laughing even more. "Not those kind of private places."

The recorder stopped as Gloria, Melissa, and Duke continued laughing. Once they had all calmed down, Duke pressed record and Gloria continued. "So……but she had a boyfriend and she had ten kids and you killed—"

"Holy crap! She had ten kids?"

"Yes."

"How many?" She was smiling as she answered that question, fooling around again.

"Ten kids! I just told you that!" Gloria laughed for a bit and went on. "So she had ten kids and you killed their mother because of SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN!" She sounded like she was trying to make a point.

"Yep," said Melissa.

"Was she on drugs?"

"No."

"Were you on drugs?"

"No. She was taking marijuana." Melissa said marijuana the way Mr. Mackey from "South Park" said it. The j in marijuana wouldn't be silent. She and her friends preferred to say it that way.

"I just asked you if she was on drugs and you said 'no'."

"Your point?"

"So she is taking drugs—was taking drugs."

"No."

"She was taking nothing?"

"Yes."

"What was she taking?"

"Marijuana."

"She was taking marijuana?"

"Yes."

"So—she did take drugs?"

"No."

"Ok…She took drugs, people. Okay."

"Nu-uh."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Maybe."

Duke pressed record as soon as it stopped again. The recorder would only record for a minute. Someone had to constantly press record if they wanted to add more. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Gloria asked again.

"No," replied Melissa.

"Yes or no?"

"No!"

Gloria then realized her mistake and started laughing at herself. Duke and Melissa laughed with her but also gave her a strange look. Gloria was just laughing strangely. "What the heck?" Melissa finally questioned her while she continued to laugh weird.

Gloria finally stopped and went on. "Anyways—how did you kill her? With a chopstick?"

"No," Melissa replied.

"With what?"

"A spoon."

"You killed her with a spoon?"

"No."

"What did you kill her with?"

"A plate."

"You killed her with a plate?"

"No."

"Your Honor?"

Gloria was whispering to Melissa to play the judge. Melissa deepened her voice a little more and spoke. "Yes?"

"She's claiming that she was killing her with these many objects. I want you to tell her that she did kill her."

"Mrs. Avalo you did kill her!"

Unknown to her about what to do next, Melissa sat there, waiting for Gloria to ask her a question. "Say ok," Gloria ordered in a quiet voice.

Feeling stupid, Melissa said, "Ok."

"So you did kill her?" Gloria inquired yet again.

"Yes."

"You killed her?"

"No."

"You didn't kill Ashley Montes?"

"Yes."

"Because of sweet and sour chicken?"

"No."

Gloria narrowed her eyes, looking at Melissa in confusion. "Then of what?"

"Because of sweet and sour chicken."

Silence settled in for several seconds. "Oh—kay……You, Mrs. Avalo, are one crazy person!"

"I know. Hehehehehe!"

"Coo-coo's nest! Coo-coo, coo-coo. Ok……so you did kill Ashley?"

"No."

"Damn you," Gloria cursed in a low voice, tired of Melissa changing her answers. Melissa giggled a little. She seemed pleased to annoy Gloria. "Who killed her?"

Melissa thought for a few seconds. "A black guy."

"A black guy killed Ashley Montes?" Gloria asked with laughter in her voice.

"Yes."

"Why did he kill her?"

"Because she was white."

Gloria chuckled again as she spoke. "Ok. So it was a racist thing?"

"No."

"Ok, so why did he kill her?"

"Because she was a girl."

"So…it was genderish?"

"No."

"Then why did he kill her?"

"Because…"

"Ok—Your Honor?"

Once again Melissa deepened her voice and said, "Yes?"

"I want that to be stricken from the record immediately because Ashley Montes was not killed by a black guy and she was not white, she was orange." Gloria, Melissa, and Duke did their best to contain their laughter. Gloria spoke again with laughter in her voice. "Ok?"

"Ok," said Melissa.

"Mrs. Avalo, was she or was she not orange?"

"No, she was blue."

"She was blue?"

"Blue."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Stop talking like the judge!" Gloria said, chuckling some more.

"Oh," Melissa said, not realizing that her voice was still deep.

"So she was blue?"

"Yes."

"She was blue?"

"Blue."

"She was not orange?"

"No."

"She was blue?"

"Yes!"

"Blue?"

"Yeah!"

"So he killed her because she was blue?"

"No."

"So why did he kill her?"

"Because she was extremely very, very, very, very white."

"You just said she was blue."

"No I didn't."

"Mrs. Avalo, I'm trying to be honest and caring towards you and—"

"You're not caring, you loser!"

"I won't be talking—"

Duke signaled Gloria to stop since the recorder was about to end in a few seconds. Once it stopped, he clicked record again and Gloria finished her sentence. "—Murderer! Crazy, psycho, coo-coo nestor, pest…cha!"

Melissa was thinking of a comeback. "Chocolate freak."

"You're a chocolate dude."

"You're a chocolate…homosexual."

"So are you!"

"Nu-uh."

All three of them started laughing again at Gloria and Melissa's little comebacks. "I just want the record to know that I'm not homosexual. Neither of us are. Ok, this is—this is the editors we're talking where, um, homosexuality, it does not occur in this case." Lowering her voice she added to Melissa, "Say it doesn't."

"It doesn't," Melissa repeated.

"Ok, so back to the trial. So Mrs. Avalo, you did not kill Ashley?"

"No."

"So she's not dead?"

"No."

"She's pretty much alive?"

"Yes."

"She's in the backyard right now?"

"No."

"10 feet under?"

"No."

"Or 6 feet?"

"No."

"How many feet?"

"I dunno."

"An inch?"

"No."

"Please Mrs. Avalo, tell me the truth."

"500 feet."

"Wow, that's pretty deep."

Melissa laughed a little again and so did Gloria. Duke didn't seem to get what was funny. "How long did it take you to dig it?" Gloria questioned.

"A sec—a minute," Melissa replied.

"A minute?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Amazing. Modern technology huh? Your Honor, I think we should come to the verdict. On December 14th…" Gloria trailed off when she realized that she had chosen Ashley's birthday. She cursed to herself in a barely audible voice. "It's her birthday. Damn it!"

"Oh well," Melissa said in a barely audible voice as well.

Gloria continued laughing yet again. "December 14th—"

Melissa picked up where she left off. "On December 14th, 2—"

The recorder stopped for the last time. Duke pressed it once again and they went on. Gloria gave Melissa the year it was and Melissa started over again. "On December 4—on December 14th, 2400, Ashley Montes was murdered by Melissa Avalo."

Silence settled in. Gloria shook her head in disappointment. She was waiting for Melissa to say "Has the jury reached a verdict?" but she said nothing. She told her to say it and Melissa, feeling stupid again, added, "Has the jury reached a verdict?"

In a high-pitched voice, Gloria answered. "Yes we have your honor."

"Let's hear it."

"Ok! We the jury of the United States of England—"

Gloria started cracking up. "It's America, you dumbass!" Melissa corrected her. She, along with Duke, started laughing loudly as well.

"Ok. Of America, have come to the verdict that Melissa Avalo is guilty for killing Ashley Montes. But we really think it's Ashley Montes who killed herself because we didn't find any reason for her to be killed so uh…yeah. But we're gonna let Melissa go back into the real world because we think she's a real civilian and a real citizen of the United States of England." Melissa and Duke didn't get why Gloria said England again. Either she thought it was funny or forgot to change it to America. "So we just wanna say good luck Melissa going out into the big world! Good luck Melissa going out into the big world!" She lowered her voice and added, "I just said that two times." Then changed back to her high-pitched voice and said, "So what do you have to say for yourself since you're a free woman?"

Melissa changed her voice so that it sounded like she was whining like a baby. "I wanna go to jail."

"But I thought you just said you didn't want to go to jail."

"What the hell's wrong with you! I wanna go to jail!"

"But—but…ok."

"But but what?"

"Ok, so we do find Melissa guilty of all charges because she did kill Ashley Montes."

"No, I didn't."

"So she will go to jail. Thank you. That is our verdict."

Then Gloria sang in a little melody. "Bye-bye and good night from People's Court."

She and Melissa said "People's Court" in all sorts of different voices. Then after saying it about six more times, Gloria said it like an opera singer. They laughed a little and Gloria added, "And…next with these messages."

"Ok. Buh-bye. Buh-bye! See you later!" Melissa said in the speaker. The way Melissa said "buh-bye" made Gloria laugh some more.

Duke finally clicked stop. "Aw man, that was funny," Melissa commented.

"Yes it was. By the way, G you messed up when you were saying the verdict," Duke pointed out.

"I know. I said United States of England," Gloria admitted.

"Yes you said that again but not only that. You also said Melissa was guilty at first and then said she will go free."

"Oh…..oh well. Doesn't matter."

"Right….Anyway, I'm going to go and watch some TV. What are you guys going to do?"

"We're going to stay here and record some more."

"Jeez, you guys have been using that thing since 5:00 PM. Don't you guys get tired of using that?"

"No. This is fun," responded Melissa.

"Then I'll leave you too to your little recording fun." Duke got up and exited the office, closing the door behind him. "This is probably our best one," uttered Gloria.

"Yeah! This one kicked booty," added Melissa.

"Kicked booty?" asked Gloria.

"Yes. Kicked booty. You have a problem with that biznatch?"

"Why do you say biznatch?"

"Dunno. It's better than saying bitch."

"Riiiiiight……let's just do another one."

Gloria and Melissa spent the rest of the night recording more things. They created more trials, skits, and other things. They had fun for the rest of the night while Duke did his own things. But they didn't know that their times of fun would soon come to an end. For a new enemy was going to arise. And this enemy would prove to be the deadliest that they will face in their lifetime.