Chapter Four - Waving The White Flag

How many times a day do you question yourself? Question your current situation and how you got where you are right now, how your past decisions, successions and failures might have led to this moment. Have you ever stopped to consider how it could have all been different if one thing had not happened? Or how when you have options in front of you right now you're potentially holding two very different paths, how do you know which one is the right one to take? The easy option or the one you want? Often they're not the same choice. For Elizabeth it certainly wasn't the same option, the easy option was staying married, brushing everything under the carpet, let the waters rise and kept paddling to stay afloat, but in reality you can only paddle for so long before your arms get tired and the water consumes you, drowning in the hurt and anguish displayed between four walls of a broken home. The water constantly rose until she waved her white flag. The ultimate sign of surrender.

Throwing her head back against the back of the seat she held her breath momentarily as her plane made contact with the runway in Paris. She had never normally held her breath, nor been anxious of flying but she had also never imagined her marriage failing, so everything was thrown from perspective and an infinite amount of questions consumed her just like the water once did. She let out a slow shaky breath as the plane came to a stop. Glancing from the window Elizabeth was surprised to note the lack of press. She had expected the area and surrounding areas to be swarming.

'Nadine' she called out. Somehow that was sentiment enough for Nadine to know just what her boss was questioning. As Nadine looked at Elizabeth she smiled and winked. Elizabeth cocked her head and furred her brow, unable to connect the dots.

'Is that a smircle?' Elizabeth jokes, causing Nadine to let out a little chuckle.

'Oh darn' Blake cursed as he walked up behind them. 'Madam Secretary, I am so sorry I thought we were landing at Orly not Charles de Gaulle airport'

'Yeah and I thought we were staying at the Hilton Hotel not The Four Seasons' Jay interrupted. Elizabeth smiled wholeheartedly at her staff

'We're so sorry about the misunderstanding Madam Secretary, It seems the press have been misled on your location, unfortunately the transfer from airport to hotel will now be rather quiet' Nadine informed her. Elizabeth's heart swelled at the sentiment. The lengths they had gone to in order to protect her from a swarm of press.

'Thank you' she whispered through fear of crying, any act of kindness was enough to set her off just recently. Elizabeth cleared her throat and rose to her feet. 'You know Daisy is going to have a field day, the press will know we slipped them on purpose' she informed them.

'It was Daisy's idea, and somehow your itinerary was leaked about two days ago, pre statement so nothing to do with us' Jay shrugged

'Nope, as you know Ma'am I am highly organised and I would never schedule wrong information, plus we were not aware of any material problems' Blake smiled softly, and Elizabeth shook her head slowly exiting the plane, and walking to her motorcade ready for the drive to the hotel. She knew Blake was lying, Elizabeth remembered all too well the day he found out that the feud between her and Henry was a lot more than that.

Elizabeth looked around the back of the motorcade, averting all gazes from her staff, her eyes fell to her feet just fixed upon the patient leather of her heels, her heavy limbs slowly swaying as the car pulled away, her eyes gently closing, a poor attempt to keep the memories at bay.

21 days ago

Blake sat at his desk outside Elizabeth's office, he Glanced up as he felt the presence of someone walking towards him, an awkward smile crept upon his lips as he greeted Henry, a simple nod to indicate she was in and free was all that was exchanged these days. Blake sighed to himself as stopped typing as Henry walked past. He had sensed tension from his boss over the last few months, eight long months to be precise, however it was only over the last few weeks he'd noticed the tension was rising within their marriage, previously Elizabeth had hidden it well and Blake assumed it was work stress.

Blake clicked through some documents and pulled Elizabeth's schedule up; his eyes cast back and forth attempting to locate a meeting or two that he could rearrange or remove completely to give her some free time to spend with her family. Blake silently air punched when he found a block of time in three days time where she could have two hours free. After removing and rearranging her planner he prayed that no world crisis would intervene, however as if on cue the phone rang.

'Good Afternoon Mr Jackson' he smiled down the phone and his hand immediately retracted from his face as Russells bellowing voice came pouring through the speaker. Blake shook his head and place the phone back to his ear

'Of Course, I'll tell her right away' he placed the phone down and stood. Nadine instantly at his desk ready to speak to Elizabeth with the same information.

'I'm already on it Nadine' he smiled and headed towards her office. He knew he was likely stepping on Nadine's toes but he cared deeply for Elizabeth and knew that he was potentially going to interrupt an intimate moment. He knocked and waited patiently, as soon as he heard Elizabeth's irritated command to come in he dipped his head and entered. The intimate moment he thought he was going to walk in on was non-existent, the room was cold and bitter. He glanced between Elizabeth and Henry

'Yes Blake?' She asked, trying not to take her annoyance out on her as her husband stood over by the sofa's aimless gazing at the wall, his back to them. Blakes eyes walked over to Henry's posture and then towards Elizabeths, her arms folded across her chest as she stood behind her desk.

'Blake' she promoted, aware that he was taking in the situation. He shook his head and nodded

'Russell Jackson called Ma'am, you're needed urgently in the situation room. Russia has breached our sovereignty, they're taking it as an act of war' He explained. Elizabeth sighed heavily and shoved documents into her bag and walked towards the door, ahead of Blake.

'I guess we will speak later then?' Henry snapped, an underlying aggression and annoyance to his tone. Blake was a little taken back and silently cursed himself for being stood between the two, his boss stood by the door leaving him nowhere to exit, so he stepped to the side, giving Henry and Elizabeth direct line of sight with one another. He dipped his head and shuffled his feet as he waited for the moment to pass over him.

Elizabeth glared at Henry, she couldn't work out if she was more angry at what had happened between them before Blake walked in or because he'd created an issue in front of Blake. She just looked at Henry, a cold harsh state burning into him as silence filled the room.

'I have to go and put a fire out before it turns into a war' she gritted through her teeth eventually. Blake looked up as she spoke assuming she would be swiftly exiting the room, but his eyes quickly averted away as she remained rooted to the spot looking at Henry.

'And what about this fire?' His words are full of desperation.

'Henry this isn't a fire, this is already a war.' Her arms guested towards the mess between them both. Blake stood witnessing everything from the corner of his eyes, his mind racing trying to understand what was going on between them. 'The difference is Henry-' Elizabeth continued…' I believe the one with Russia can be resolved.'

'We're here Ma'am' Nadine announced, bringing Elizabeth out of her daze and back to the present moment. She just wished the hurt and upset would stay in those past moments, no matter how hard she tried they constantly seeped into her present. She inhaled and cleared her throat

``Looks like we're not so lucky this time,'' she gestured to the outside of the hotel which was swarming with press. As the motorcade stopped and her security detail came to open the door Elizabeth's heart began to pound through her chest, it was one thing to question yourself endlessly but to have others question every aspect was something else. She stepped out and was instantly greeted with a blinding light and a roar of a crowd, she felt like a celebrity as her detail weaved her through the crowds and towards the hotel, her ears ringing with every question thrown at her;

'Madam Secretary;

How long have you been having problems in your relationship?
Where is Dr McCord?
Will we be hearing from Dr McCord?
What happened?
Is it true he had an affair?
Were you too close to President Dolton?
Where is Henry now?
What about the kids?
What does this mean for your future?
Will you be going back to Adams now?
Why are you still wearing your wedding ring…?

As she stepped into the hotel she didn't want to wait around in the lobby and requested to be shown her room. The door to her space for the next few days closed behind her, she leant against it and tilted her head back looking up to the ceiling. Small whimpers left her as she clutched her chest tightly, her spare hand rose and located her wedding ring that was still on her finger. They were right. Why was she still wearing it? Yet another question to add to her overcrowded mind.