All weekend, Tori had dreaded going to school on Monday. Because at school, she would have to face all the people that she had let down: Andre, her friend, who had explicitly told her not to mess with the past, and now was bound to find out that she had done exactly that; and Jade, who wasn't yet her friend and now probably never would be. To make matters worse, Tori's normal method of coping with difficult situations was turning to her friends for support. But who could she turn to now, when she had disappointed everyone?

With those thoughts still swirling through her head on Monday morning, Tori hurried through the school halls with her head down, trying to avoid as many people as possible. She didn't have any reason to believe that any of her classmates really knew what she had done, but she still felt like everyone was staring at her disapprovingly.

Tori reached Sikowitz's classroom just before the bell rang. She scanned the room; there were seats available next to Jade, Andre, Sinjin, and Cat. Tori slid into the one next to Cat, assuming that was her safest bet.

As Sikowitz rambled on about one of his coconut-milk-induced "visions" that had surprisingly come true that morning, Tori got the uncomfortable feeling that someone was watching her. She scanned the room; it wasn't Jade or Andre; Andre was watching Sikowitz, and Jade was looking down at a pair of scissors that she was playing with. Tori swiveled to her right to where Cat was sitting. Cat immediately looked away, but Tori knew that Cat had been staring at her. The guilty expression that had creeped into Cat's face made Tori uneasy… it was as if Cat knew something.

How could Cat know? Tori wondered. She wasn't there on Friday. I didn't tell her. And Robbie was desperately insistent that Cat could not find out, so he definitely wouldn't have told her… Suddenly, Tori knew. Dang it, that means Jade told her. And if Jade told Cat, what if she's telling other people, too? What if the whole school really does know what happened? Then they probably all think I'm a terrible person…

But I'm not! I made one stupid mistake, but I know I'm not the the kind of person who buys into rumors and rubs them in people's faces. But… that is what I did. What if… what if I really am like that? And what if they all know?

Tori suddenly felt very small and exposed, as if she were standing on a giant stage in a pitch-black amphitheater, with a brilliant spotlight shining on her, and everyone in the class and school packed into the audience, watching and judging her. She had the urge to run and hide, but where could she hide? What would she even do? What would be the point? Running away from her problems wouldn't solve them. The only way to go forward was to… well, she couldn't really expect to repair her relationship with Jade, could she? That might be what she wanted for help herself, but it probably wasn't what Jade wanted. Jade probably just wanted Tori out of her life. And all that time ago, when Tori had apologized for kissing Beck, Jade had said it was selfish for Tori to want Jade to forgive her and be her friend when Jade didn't want the same. Clearly Jade was not one big on forgiveness. And now Tori had done something even worse than kissing her boyfriend in an improv exercise. So fixing her standing with Jade was not an option.

What about Andre? And Tori's other friends? Would they ever forgive her? Tori wasn't sure. Even though she considered Andre a pretty good friend, they hadn't known each other for very long. Not long enough for Andre to know that this terrible thing Tori had done was the exception, not the norm, and she didn't normally act like this. Tori knew that if one of her new friends did something bad like what she had done, she might rethink wanting to pursue the friendship. What if Andre gave up on her? And if he did, then surely Robbie and Cat would too; after all, they knew Tori even less well than Andre did. And as for Beck? There was no chance of him forgiving Tori if Jade didn't. Beck and Jade may not have gotten along perfectly, but Beck would definitely take Jade's side in what had happened. I would too, Tori thought bitterly. As would everyone. I'm alone in this. And it's all my fault.

Lunch was awkward. Uncomfortable. Tori pretended to focus all her attention on the chicken wrap she was eating. She ate slowly and deliberately in an attempt to drag out her meal to prolong the excuse for her silence. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jade, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table, cutting a small stack of cheap cafeteria napkins into a pile of confetti. Robbie and Andre were dominating the conversation, as everyone else seemed to be preoccupied. Cat was spacing out, occasionally interrupting Robbie or Andre with comments about random minutiae. And Beck appeared to be glancing back and forth between Tori and Jade. He looked confused. Perhaps it was because when he had left for Canada just over a week earlier, everyone had gotten along well, and now… well, Tori wasn't speaking, and Jade was more aggressive with the scissors than normal. It was pretty apparent that something was wrong. The question is, did Jade tell him? Or is he just figuring it out on his own? If he's figuring it out, then does that mean Andre could too?

When Tori finally finished her meal, Andre nudged her and asked, "So what's your opinion? Are picture books more like paintings or novels?"

Tori shrugged, completely uninterested in their conversation. "Does it really matter? It's not like anyone over the age of 7 cares that much about picture books anyways."

Andre peered into Tori's face. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Huh?" Tori asked, her voice rising a bit out of panic. They were getting too close to the topic she was trying to avoid. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're usually so bright and happy, and now you're all dour and surly. You're basically acting like Jade," Andre joked.

"Don't compare her to me," Jade said darkly. She stood up. "I know how to keep my nose out of other people's business." With that, Jade slung her book back over her shoulder and walked away.

Andre gave Tori a searching look. Tori felt herself shrinking. She didn't want Andre to know. She didn't want to lose him as a friend. She didn't want to be alone. But Jade had opened the gateway that would allow Andre to realize what had happened. It was too late to do anything about it.

"Tori, please tell me you didn't…" Andre started.

Tori didn't respond. She was too afraid to admit it out loud.

"You did, didn't you." It was half a question, half a statement.

Tori nodded meekly.

There was a long stretch of silence. As the silence grew, Tori glanced timidly around the table at her friends, afraid of what their reactions might be. Cat was spacing out with a troubled look on her face, and Tori couldn't quite tell whether she was following the conversation or not. Robbie looked almost as uncomfortable as Tori felt. Beck still looked somewhat confused. And Andre… he didn't look disappointed in her. His face was a mixture of surprise and concern. But no anger. Maybe things would be alright. Maybe she could talk to them about it, after all.

"I wasn't thinking right. I really shouldn't have done any of what I did. Shouldn't have asked Trina about what happened, or tried to ask Jade. It was so dumb. And mean. I feel terrible about it. I really, really regret it. But I don't think I'll ever be able to tell Jade that."

Everyone was looking at her. They were listening to her. And they didn't look mad. They looked like they cared about her. And believed her. They believed that she was still a good person. They believed that she was sorry.

"I really don't know what to do," Tori concluded.

Andre shrugged sympathetically. "Sorry, I wouldn't know any better than you. I definitely don't know Jade well enough to weigh in."

Tori looked at Beck, who met her gaze with an unreadable expression on his face. "I don't even fully understand what happened," he said.

Tori sighed, not wanting to repeat the story out loud, but finding no other option. As she concluded her shaky retelling, Beck frowned.

"You asked her directly about Sarah?"

"Yeah…"

Beck shook his head disapprovingly. "Bad move, Tori. Really bad move."

"I get that! I saw Jade's reaction on Friday, and I've seen her all day today! She hates me for it. I get that what I did was wrong. I just don't know if there's any way I can make it right." Tori looked at Cat and Robbie. "So? You two haven't said anything. What do you guys think?"

Robbie shook his head and shrugged. Cat looked thoughtful. After a moment, she said, "You can't make what you did right. It will always have been the wrong thing to do. You can never undo the sad and the bad that you caused. You have to accept that. And then you have to try to figure out a way to move on."

Tori stared at Cat. She hadn't been expecting such insights from her. As Tori watched, Cat's eyes began to unfocus, and soon she was daydreaming again. Tori marveled at this. How could Cat spend so much time with her head in the clouds, yet have such wisdom about life?

But Cat was right. It was impossible for Tori to fix her past behavior. All she could do was move forward and hope that Jade would be willing to move forward, too.

A/N: Well, I guess Beck ended up returning in this chapter! He's missed a great deal of important events, poor him.

Thank you so much for reading! Until next week!