Early Tuesday morning, as Jade was shoving her books into her locker, Beck appeared behind her. She knew it was him even before he said anything. She didn't turn around.
"Jade, are you going to keep ignoring me?"
Jade finally spun to face him. "Me, ignoring you? If I remember correctly, you're the one who never called or texted when you got home from Canada, even though you had promised you were going to."
"I went to your house, Jade."
"So?"
"Your dad said you weren't there and that you hadn't been there all weekend. He didn't know where you were. You had disappeared. And every time you've disappeared in the past, you've ignored my calls and texts. So I figured there was no point in calling you. Was I wrong?"
No, of course he wasn't wrong. Jade had been avoiding him. She had known that Beck would never understand why she was so messed up and broken; he would just write it off like he always did, without trying to understand her pain. And his lack of caring only ever made it hurt more. So Jade stayed away from him when she had problems. And honestly, she wished he would just leave her alone now.
"Did you come here to scold me for not being at my house over the weekend, or do you have something meaningful to say?" Jade asked.
Beck looked like he wanted to argue but decided against it. "It's about Tori," he said cautiously.
Tori. Tori. Tori… Jade's mind exploded with all the thoughts and feelings that were attached to that name, all the things she had been trying to suppress. Why the fuck did he have to mention Tori? As Jade's head became a mess of anger, hurt, and aching, her muscles clenched and she focused on Beck with a steely glare.
"Wow, what a great boyfriend you are, Beck," Jade said bitterly. "You stay away from me when I've got problems, but you never hesitate to come back so you can talk to me about another girl."
"Oh come on, Jade. You know I don't like Tori that way."
"Oh really? How about me? Do you even like me, Beck?"
"Honestly? Sometimes you make it challenging."
Those words hit Jade hard, like a punch to the stomach. She felt her heart shattering, and she desperately tried to rebuild her strong, composed facade before it could crumble down completely. This was Beck. Her boyfriend. One of the only people who cared about her. Or at least, he was supposed to care about her. But where had he been all the times when she most needed someone to stand by her? Why was he only there for her when she had everything sorted out? Why did he act like her problems gave him an excuse to abandon her?
"Thanks, Beck, I'll keep that in mind," Jade said sarcastically, fighting to keep her voice from cracking with emotion. "But that wasn't even what you came to tell me, that was just a little extra bonus."
Beck showed no signs of remorse or apology for what he had said. He just continued on as if nothing significant had happened. Cuz that's his fucking way. Ignore my emotions like they don't matter at all. Beck said, "Yeah. I came here to tell you that you should give Tori a chance to apologize."
"So you're taking her side. Good to know," Jade said dully. Normally she would have seethed with anger about this, but she was too hurt by Beck's previous statement to feel anything other than emptiness and ache.
"I'm not taking her side! You're being unreasonable, Jade!"
"Unreasonable, huh? What else?" Jade responded, her voice almost devoid of emotion as she continued to try to mask her feelings.
"You want to know? I'm tired of you acting like everything is my fault. I didn't call you, I don't back you up, I take Tori's side too much. What about you? Why couldn't you call me up if you were so desperate to hear from me over the weekend? How come you randomly disappear without a trace and just ignore my calls? You're not the only one who matters in this relationship, Jade. If you weren't so focused on yourself all the time, maybe you'd notice that."
Jade didn't say anything. She couldn't. Beck's words stung like they never had before. Sure, she and Beck had fought plenty of times, but never before had Beck attacked her like this. It hurt, but worst of all, Beck's jabs revealed how little he really understood her. All those times Jade had just "disappeared" and ignored Beck? Those were the times when she was dealing with problems that Beck would just brush away as if they were nothing, when Beck would say she was overreacting. Jade realized with a pang of sadness that Beck had never seen her. He had never cared. He loved her when she was in a good mood, but as soon as she was going through a hard time, he stopped trying to understand her. He dropped away and let pretty girls flirt with him instead, as if they could replace Jade. All he wanted was a girlfriend. He never cared if it was me. Never cared who I am. How did I not see it earlier?
"Are you gonna respond to that, Jade? Or have you run out of ways to lash out against the truth?"
"Fuck you, Beck. We're through."
Jade slammed her locker shut and walked away, fighting back a surge of tears. It's over. It's over. It's finally over.
As lunch approached, Jade couldn't stand the thought of sitting at a table with Beck. Her ex. She hadn't really ever had an ex before; Beck was the only person she had really dated. And even though they had broken up a few times of varying durations, Jade had never really considered that their relationship could ever actually end. But now, how could it not be over? How could they ever get back together? Jade had finally realized that their relationship wasn't as deep as it had seemed. Jade hadn't let Beck in. And Beck hadn't tried to get past her walls. He knew her better than most people, but that wasn't saying much. He still didn't understand her. How could I have thought for years that it was working?
And then there was the breakup itself. The way Beck had just unloaded a bunch of complaints and attacks on Jade. "You're not the only one who matters in this relationship, Jade. If you weren't so focused on yourself all the time, maybe you'd notice that." Ha. I bet if he weren't so fucking focused on himself, he would've been able to see the irony in that statement, Jade thought bitterly. But the angry satisfaction of knowing Beck had been the one in the wrong waned quickly, and soon all Jade was left with was the hurt.
Since the previous Friday, she had been trying to keep it together, to not be broken by other people. But she could only take so many hits before she shattered. Tori's betrayal was one thing. No matter how nice she had seemed, she was just a new girl. But Beck. Beck had been there for a while. He was a (mostly) constant part of Jade's ever-changing, tumultuous life. Even if Jade hadn't let him in, he had still been there (most of the time). And having a person just to be with, no matter how superficial the connection, was better than having no one. But now Beck was gone. Jade's world was shrinking. And it felt suffocating.
The bell rang, and Cat harmonized with it happily, then skipped out of her classroom. As she weaved through the halls excitedly, she bumped into someone, and as she continued skipping down the hallway, she turned to make a hurried apology. She consequently bumped into yet another classmate, this time falling backwards and bringing the unhappy kid crashing down to the floor with her.
"Oopsies! Sorry!" Cat sat up and looked around. She saw a lot of shoes walking past. "Why are all those shoes moving on their own?" She looked up. "Ohhhh, they're attached to legs! I wonder where they're going?"
The person she had crashed into gave her a strange look. "Lunch? That's where I was going when you fell into me."
"Omigod, lunch!" Cat jumped up eagerly, then dashed through the remainder of the hallway and raced out to the Asphalt Cafe, where she slid into her usual spot at the table.
She looked around at Tori, Andre, Beck, and Robbie (aww, he was giving her such a cute concerned look). They looked a bit shocked by her sudden arrival. "What?" she asked, with a note of urgency in her voice. Was I late? Did I miss something important?
"Were you running away from something?" Robbie asked.
"Or someone?" Andre added.
"No, why would I be running away from anything?" A thought struck Cat in a flash. She threw a quick, scared glance over her shoulder. "Was someone chasing me? Oh no, what if it's the guy I bumped into and he's super mad at me for making him fall down and now he's getting revenge oh no what should I do?!"
"No one's chasing you," Tori said, looking confused.
"Phew, thank goodness, I was getting scared! So what's for lunch?"
"Chicken wraps, tacos—"
"Tacos?! Wow, Jade must be so excited, I wonder what kind she got!" Cat looked around the table again, and she finally realized that Jade wasn't sitting there. "Wait, where's Jade?"
Andre shrugged. "She didn't come to lunch today. No one's seen her."
"Oh no, is she okay?" Cat asked, panic rising in her chest.
"I wouldn't know," Tori said darkly. "It's not like she's letting me anywhere close to her anymore."
"Beck?" Cat asked, looking him in the eye.
Beck scoffed. "Jade's not my problem anymore."
What?! Alarms went off in Cat's head. What does that mean?... Finally, the answer dawned on Cat. Uh oh. That'snotgood.
Cat stood up. She opened her mouth to explain where she was going, but then she decided that getting to Jade quickly was more important. She wove around the tables and back into the school, then rushed through the halls until she got to the janitor's closet. A sure bet for finding Jade.
Cat knocked softly on the door, then opened it just enough to slip inside, gently shutting it behind her. Sure enough, she saw the vague shape of Jade's figure, outlined faintly in the dark room. Jade looked up when Cat entered.
"Go away."
"I don't think that's a good idea," Cat said.
"I don't fucking care if it's a good idea. Leave me alone." Jade's tone was harsh and sharp, but what affected Cat most was the pain she could hear behind it. It was more that she had heard from Jade in a long time. Cat squinted at Jade. Even though it was hard to make out details in the darkness, Cat could tell from Jade's curled up position that her friend had been crying a lot. And from Jade's tone of voice, it was apparent that she was not open to company. Even though Cat hated to leave her friend alone to her woes, Jade wasn't going to accept anything other than Cat leaving.
Cat peeked out of the small window in the door to make sure no one was in the hallway, then she left without another word.
Cat walked back to the lunch table slowly, feeling no need to hurry. Her thoughts had slowed down considerably, and instead of frenzied happiness about lunch and puppies and tap-dancing penguins, all she could feel was sadness for her friend. Jade was doing badly. Worse than she had been in a while. Why? Well, now there were two reasons.
When Cat got back to the lunch table, everyone looked up expectantly. Cat pointed at Beck and Tori. Fighting back tears, she exclaimed, "You mean, heartless people! I… I don't know which of you is worse!"
As everyone exchanged shocked looks, Cat buried her head in her hands. She cried for herself, for Jade, and for all the people who didn't have any friends who could cry for them.
The events of lunch, though wholly unclear and confusing, weighed heavily on Tori. She had pieced together that Beck and Jade had broken up, and now Jade was even worse off than before. And Beck wasn't planning on taking any responsibility for whatever part of the problem he had caused. So I've gotta do my part.
Tori ditched her afternoon classes. Even though it made her feel extremely guilty to cut class, she knew that the most important thing was putting together a good apology to Jade. A few absences were well worth it.
When the end-of-school bell finally rang, Tori rushed through the halls to Cat's locker. Luckily, she found Cat standing there alone, humming as she sorted through her books.
"Hey, Cat?"
"Hmm?" Cat looked up happily, but her smile darkened a little when she realized that it was Tori. Great, even Cat's mad at me.
"You're good friends with Jade, right? Would you be able to… give her something for me?"
"I don't know if that's a good—"
"Please? I…" Tori hesitated. "I really don't want to abandon Jade the way Beck did. I have to take responsibility for what I did."
Cat's expression softened. "Yeah, okay, I'll give you a chance. But that may be more than Jade is willing to do."
"I understand."
"So what is it you want me to give her?"
Tori dug out a wad of papers from her bag. "Here. And also… Maybe you could not tell her it's from me before she looks at it? I just don't want her to throw my note away without reading it again."
"Okay." Cat took the papers and tucked them into her satchel. "I hope this helps. Just because I care about Jade."
Tori gave a faint smile. "Yeah, I hope so too."
A/N: This was a fun chapter to write, and very varied in terms of emotions and tone. Cat's definitely got quite a different voice from Jade, which was cool to try out.
I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading, and see you next week!
