Chapter Eleven – Letting Go
Eight months ago
Moving forward is essential; it's vital for growth within oneself. There will come a time within everyone's life where we simply have to accept the fact that things hurt, physically, emotionally, and mentally but we also have to let it go in order to move on with our lives. Just like the sun letting go of the day so we can process the beauty of the moonlight, or the trees letting go of their leaves so we can watch them dance in the storms, the storms giving in and letting the sun to pass over once again, you simply have to let it go, let go of the attachment but always, always keep the lesson…
Elizabeth's legs were somehow weak and strong all at the same time; ready to give in and buckle under the pressure of her new and all too familiar news about the crash, yet somehow managing to carry her quickly down the hospital hallway as she requested impatiently to see her husband.
'Madam Secretary if you could just wait-'
'I don't want to wait, I want to see my Husband' she stressed, her fierce exterior evident to the doctor who stood before her, who looked back at her with a stern gaze, one which stopped her in her tracks as she battled with her mind, desperate to stop it from descending into overdrive.
'Madam Secretary, Dr McCord is just having some tests and once he is comfortable you can see him' the doctor spoke softer this time, something which Elizabeth noted, she felt the presence of a hand on her back and slowly turned, she was stunned to see Conrad stood at her side. She instantly tried to brush her jacket down to perfect her appearance but Conrad waved a hand before her, a simple signal that it wasn't necessary.
'Thank you Doctor, Can we wait there?'
'Yes, Mr President' the doctor nodded firmly at the commander in chief as Conrad smiled while simply guiding Elizabeth by her back and into a small family side room.
Elizabeth had still not spoken, her mouth running dry and her mind in a haze as she turned to her boss, her brow furrowed as she attempted to piece together the tiny details that she had.
'Are you ok?' he asked, reaching over to the water dispenser and pouring her a cup.
'Please tell me this wasn't an assassination attempt?' she immediately jumped back at him, her respiration rate increasing slightly.
'What? No, no calm down' he paused and handed her the tiny white plastic cup and gestured for her to take a sip, which she gracefully accepted. 'I heard the news from Russell, Nadine called him and I figured you'd be shaken up and in need of a friend' he smiled softly.
She was unable to describe the relief that washed over her knowing this was not an attempt on his life, she nodded slowly as her mind calmed.
'How much do you know?' He asked and watched as she swallowed the cold liquid she inhaled sharply and shook her head.
'nothing, I don't know what happened, when , where, how, nothing. I don't even know the extent of his injuries, I just know that these things can be fatal…' she trailed off. Déjà vu, just like that it hit her. She had been here before, she had walked this path and learnt this lesson before, one her the most defining moments with her story of who she is, the story she found herself living over, and over and over again had come back to haunt her.
Conrad watched as she turned paler and her breathing became shallow, he didn't have to ask, he knew. He simply stepped closer and rubbed her forearm, a weak smile forming on his lips as all words escaped him, nothing would comfort her now, he knew that. She searched his face trying to find the answers as to what happened.
``We don't know who it was, all I know is that some drunken driver skipped a red light and collided with Henry's car. Now I think it was only the back end of the car, so chances are he is going to be ok.' Elizabeth was about to protest when the doctor came into the room,
'Mr President, Madam Secretary, your husband is asking for you' he nodded. A cry of relief parted from her lips as she handed Conrad her drink and headed for the doorway. He placed his hand out and stopped her for a moment,
'Take a few days off, I know you two have been struggling recently' he nodded sincerely. She wanted to ask so many questions about how he knew and what it was exactly he knew but she decided not to, she simply let it go and accepted the kind offer.
'Thank you sir' she whispered and turned to leave and go to Henry. She practically ran towards the room the doctor pointed out, the desperation to see for herself that her husband was ok ate away at her, she grabbed the doorframe to steady herself and pushed the handle down with urgency, her body freezing as she took in the sites of her husband sat up in bed looking over to her; every aspect of him appearing unharmed.
She threw her head back, her eyes glancing up to the ceiling and thanking a god she wasn't even sure she believed in at times. Her chest tightened as she attempted to contain herself a little better but it was no use.
'Come here' he called, she shook her leg and pressed her lips together tightly to stop the tears falling, unable to speak knowing her voice would crack letting the emotions seep through. 'Come here' he whispered, his own voice a plea of desperation. Elizabeth brought her head down and her lips began to tremble, Henry reached forward in an attempt to grab her, an absolute refusal to let her fall apart without being in his arms. Her hands reached for him and he used all his strength to pull her onto the bed and into his embrace, holding her tighter than he had before as she sobbed into his shoulder, her body shaking through the distress.
'Shh babe, it's ok. I'm ok' he soothed
'i was so scared that-' she whimpered and Henry gripped her tighter
'I know, I know. I'm so sorry, I'm here. I'm ok babe' he continued to soother, his heart aching at the sounds of her cries. 'I've got you' he whispered into her hair as he gently rubbed her back. Her fingertips fiddled with his hospital gown as she composed herself.
'Look at me' he whispered and gently pulled back from her to catch her gaze. 'I'm not going anywhere ok?' His words were so effortless and effective. She nodded slowly and took a few deep breaths to refill her lungs.
'Im so sorry Henry I've been awful lately, I don't want to fight with you and I ju-'
'It doesn't matter, we're both to blame. I shouldn't have been so stubborn and headed out tonight with a headache, I think it affected my reaction time' he admitted.
'How is your head?' She slowly ran her fingers through his hair, his soft locks wrapping around her fingers.
'Hmm, hurting a little more now' he chuckled but she didn't laugh. 'Too soon?' He asked and she rolled her eyes,
'give it at least a year'
'I'm fine, they did some head scans to make sure there was no head injury but I am ok, all limbs are fine and not broken, just badly bruised and some slight whiplash. I was lucky, he took the back end of the car so thankfully I wasn't injured, just a bit of shock but that will pass' he smiled.
'well you need to rest, and I am going to be keeping a close eye on you!' She warned, her humour coming back as she relaxed
'ooo they're sending the secretary of state to check in on me over the weekend are they?' He winked and reached for her hand, desperate to have some contact with her.
'No' she paused, taking his hand and leaning closer ' You've got your wife home all weekend' she smiled. Elizabeth leant I and closed the gap, her lips softly brushed against his, Henry pulled her closer, desperate for her body to be closer to his. He deepened the kiss and ran his hands up and down her back whilst their tongues reacquainted themselves with one another.
Elizabeth pulled back and giggled 'don't get carried away Mr! I'm sure you're in no fit state for that just yet'
'Nothing will ever stop me wanting to love you Elizabeth' she rested her forehead on his, her fingers playing with his as she inhaled deeply. She glanced up, her head never leaving his as she looked into his eyes, the softness they once held was back, a familiar and comforting feeling flooded her.
'I love you Henry' she whispered, it was the most sincere I love you spoken by her in a long few weeks. Henry felt that it hit him right to the core as her words soothed his soul.
'I love you Elizabeth McCord, now please take me home and spend the entire weekend wrapped in my arms. I've missed my wife' his soft whispers hit home for Elizabeth, the truth so pure it could hardly be heard. She smiled and kissed his lips delicately.
'I've missed you too' it was within those moments they both had forgotten what harshness and bitterness consumed them hours ago, both mastering the art of letting it go without even realising. After all, it's better to lose the argument than to lose the person.