That night, or what was left of it, Pan slept in Vegeta's arms on the couch, too late to go up the stairs and wake everyone. Vegeta stroked her hair, even now, frowning down at her.

He was the Prince of all Saiyans, he could tell when someone had mated themselves to another, fully. Her Ki had changed, and it was stable now.

They had finished the connection.

But she had run back; come back home and into his arms. She hadn't stayed with the creature, like you would expect. So she still had the will to fight him off in her, even after bonding with the creature. He had so many questions now.

Why did you run off again?

Where did you go?

Why did you join with the monster!

Did he force you…

Did he touch you…

But as he looked down at her, the soft early morning rays caressing her innocent face.

He knew, he wouldn't be able to ask any of those questions. Is this how Gohan had seen her when she came home the first time? Did he feel this solid lump in his throat and empty pain in his chest. This, helplessness?

Vegeta had to watch as Pan suffered, as she was slowly taken in bit by bit by the monster Major. He had fought, he had hidden her and shielded her body from him with his own. But in the end, all that did was push her away, and into the beast's arms.

At last, Pan stirred and sleepily locked eyed with him.

"Good morning Pan." He said softly, and brushed some of her hair from her face. "How do you feel?"

"Dirty, hungry…empty…" she said quieter at the end, and trailed off. She looked so distraught now. it hurt him to see the inner battle her mind was having. He knew from stories of his own people that if someone mated with another, and then resisted them, their mind would be split in two raging armies. One side wanted to resist and run away, while the other wanted to return open arms to the one they were mated to, and beg for forgiveness. Was she having that inner struggle now?

"If you shower, I will have breakfast on the table for you."

"You can cook?"

"No, but the woman can."

"Isn't she asleep?"

"Not for long." He chuckled with a smirk, and got the reaction he was looking for. She chuckled softly, and smiled.

"Alright. And…thank you."

"You're welcome." Pan slowly kissed his cheek, and pulled herself groggily off his lap. Vegeta watched as she took herself slowly upstairs.

She looked a sorry state.

Pan gripped the sponge tight and scrubbed her body. Hot water ran down every milky curve as she scrubbed so hard against her skin, it was cruel.

But she had to be clean. She felt responsible for those people Major had killed. Because she knew all too well that they were only dead because of her.

But what if you gave in to him? No one else would have to die then. No one else would be in the way. She shuck her head, and scrubbed her arm harder. When she felt red raw, only then was she satisfied she was clean.

Pan then silently came down the stairs in a long night robe over her pink flannel shorts and grey strapped PJ top, her hair wrapped up in a towel and her face as stoic as when she first woke up. "You are out of luck. The woman and your mother left early this morning while we spelt to get shopping, and other things…" like weapons to secure the house. At least the woman has the ability to turn anything into anything. He agreed to himself, and shoved a bowl of brown sop towards her. "The others went with them, knowing I could protect you the best, and this is all I can make without poisoning you." He tried to joke…but she just took a spoon and stirred it slowly. Steam rose off it, and not even the aroma could rouse her from her intense thoughts.

The look on his face…those tears…I caused them.

"With you I am a man. You make me feel like a man. I wasn't a monster when you kissed me. I was the man who loved you. A man…that is what you make me…human."

He was right. When he kissed me, it felt good. It felt right. It felt…perfect. She shuddered with the memory, and looked over to Vegeta. He had left her at some point to tend to his daughter, so she looked back down into the soup.

I am so stupid! I should have known he wasn't going to kill me from the moment he said he loved me! I should have known he wouldn't mate with me if he wanted to kill me, or care, or be so gentle…or hold me…or comfort me. I was so scared at first, but he made everything feel better. He took his time, to make me feel comfortable and took things at a pace I could keep up with. Oh my Kami. She whimpered. He loves me. He loves me and I asked him to kill me. She sobbed, a hand over her mouth to stop any sound alerting Vegeta. Major isn't the monster…I am. If I had just stayed with him, no one needed to die. He wouldn't have killed Gero if I had stayed at RRA, he wouldn't have killed one and half million people if he had me to love, and Bulla wouldn't be in a coma if I had just gone to him in the first place!

But I was so scared…and my fear killed all those people. My fear put Bulla in that hospital bed, and I could have stopped it.

Just think about it, would it really be that bad? She looked up and out the kitchen window. The sun was shining, the rain well gone now and not a cloud was in the sky. To just let him love me? To have someone to hold me in the night and tell me how precious I am to him? Is that so bad?

I…I…I want him. I want to go back to him. I can end all the suffering right now if I just go back! Pan jumped up, whirled round and ran out the door. She reached out for the front door handle, when she was tackled to the ground.

"Be strong Pan! Don't give in!"

"Get off me!" Pan cried, clawing at the carpet as he pinned her face front against the floor. "Let me go! I want to go back to him!"

"No you don't! That's the bond talking!" Vegeta stood up, his arms wrapped around her waist and holding her up off the ground, to stop her escaping. "Major is making you feel that way!"

"No he isn't! He wouldn't! I know he wouldn't! I want to go back to my mate!" she screamed, and thrashed around even harder.

"Be quiet or he might hear you!" Vegeta was struggling now.

but Pan didn't have any powers…so how was she throwing him off balance with such a force, like she did…unless… "PAN! Stop trying to use your powers! He will sense it and come after you again!"

"I want him to!" Pan wailed. "I want him back. I pushed him away and I want him back! Right now!" A yellow aura picked up around her, and Vegeta had to fight hard to repress her signature.

"Pan, stop!"

"NO!" Pan threw her elbow back, and sent Vegeta flying backwards. She dropped to all fours, and yanked the towel from her hair, letting it fly free and damp. She bolted towards the door, and felt the sun on her face. "MAJOR!" Pan shouted, running towards the woods again. "MAJOR! I LOVE YOU!" Pan panted hard, tears running down her face as her voice echoed through the trees. "Major…"

But no reply came. Not even the birds showed any acknowledgement of her existence. "Major come back…I love you too…"

"Pan!" Vegeta grabbed her arm and pulled her back into a forced embrace. "Pan you stupid girl!"

"No, I'm not stupid. I finally see…I was so blind."

"No Pan, no this is a trick. He is messing with your mind."

"If he is implanting these feelings in me, and they aren't true…" she pushed him hard, her hair whipping up, blonde and furious in the wind she herself was creating. "THEN WHERE IS HE AND WHY DO I HAVE MY POWERS BACK!" Pan screamed at the top of her lungs, her tail lashing from side to side behind her, and baring her fangs at him. "If he wanted to manipulate me to have me to himself, where is he Vegeta? Where is he?" Pan whimpered, and looked back to the woods. All she wanted was a slight glimmer of golden eyes, a tall shadow, that loving smile.

But she saw none…she saw nothing. "I told him to leave…I told him to leave me alone…and he has…" she fell to her knees, and fisted at her hair, as it fell back into its raven beauty. "He's left me…he's…left me…what have I done…?" Pan bent right over, tears pouring down her face. She then arched her head and back up and screamed to the world. "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" sobbing with distraught, Pan fell back to the floor. Fisting at the grass now, as Vegeta watched over her.

The monster was finally gone. He didn't have to worry about it coming after Pan anymore…

…but seeing the broken woman at his feet, hurt him more than ever before in his life. Pan really did love him. she had to, because the only way she had her powers back, and the only reason Major wouldn't be here to collect her, when Vegeta wouldn't be able to stop him…would be if Major had left her for good…

Or even worse. Her mate was dead.