DISCLAIMER: i do not own any of the buffy characters or universe, they belong to Joss whedon
AUTHORS NOTE: i am sorry it took me so long to update, the next chapter will be up sooner, i promise. Also, i know the movie Pirates of the Caribbean doesn't exactly fit the timeline but i love that movie so i thought i would use that. I am currently co-writing a story with slayer rock chick entitled What You're waiting for. its her account, check it out if you like and let us know what you think...and in case you were wondering, it is spuffy.
Chapter Five: It Was Heaven
Buffy walked in the front door of her house to be greeted by a worrying Dawn
"Buffy, where were you? Are you alright? I was worried about you" Dawn said with one, long breath
"Dawnie, I'm fine, I just went out because I couldn't sleep, and didn't you get my note?" Buffy asked her
"Yeah, I did, I was just scared that you had left again"
Buffy remembered how hard it had been for Dawn when she had been so cold and withdrawn the first time she came back
That's going to be different this time she thought as she wrapped her arms around her little sister, Dawn hugged her back
"I'm sorry I left Dawn, but it's what I had to do. I'm back now, and I promise I won't leave you again" buffy told her
"I know, I just got a bit wigged out when I found your note is all, If you want, I could spend the day with you, help you with the settling in again" she asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible
"Nice try sister, you're going to school" Buffy told her
"Oh well, it was worth a try, I'll see you tonight after school?"
"Sure, I have to go to The Magic Box for a bit, but when I get back, we can watch a movie together" Buffy said
"Great, it's so good to have you back, I missed you" Dawn told her
"I know, its good to be back, but if you don't leave now you're going to be late…GO!" Buffy said, pointing towards the still open door
"Ok, ok, I'm gone, I'll see you tonight, love you"
"Love you to Dawnie" Buffy replied. And with that, Dawn was out the front door and on her way to school.
Buffy walked upstairs, had a shower and went into her room to get dressed. As she was walking around her room, she began having second thoughts about telling her friends about heaven, and she started arguing with herself
"It's only my second day back, if I tell them today, they'll worry about me because I'm so ok about it, then they'll think something wiggy's going on…maybe it would be better if I told them another day? No, I have to tell them today, if I don't, it'll just make it harder in the future, and Spike will be there, so it will be ok, but then Xander will get all suspicious because I want Spike there, but they have to find out that I love him sooner or later, but I have to tell Spike that I love him first. Oh for crying out loud, I'll stick to the plan and tell them all about heaven today. It's better than standing here and arguing with myself like some crazy person" she finished. Buffy looked down and realized she was completely dressed
Ok then, must have done that on auto-pilot because I don't actually remember dressing myself…oh well, it looks ok She thought. She walked down stairs, out the front door, and headed towards The Magic Box.
When she got there, all of her friends were sitting around the table, as she walked in the door, all eyes turned to her
"Hey guys" she said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible
"Hey Buffy, are you ok? You weren't in this morning and we were worried about you" Willow said, standing up from her seat
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry about this morning, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I went out for a bit" Buffy said "guys, there's something I have to tell you though, I had a dream, the spell you used to bring me back created a demon, sort of a side effect, a price, it can possess people, and at the moment is big with the incorporeal-ness. We still have a day or two before it attacks, so in that time, I need Willow to find a spell to make it corporeal so I can kick its ass and the rest of us to be in research mode" she told them with a smile. She knew there was no reason to be hitting the books, but she needed something to do to pass the time until Spike arrived
"No worries, we can do that, did you say this all came form a prophecy dream?" Xander asked, while Willow went to gather books before taking her seat at the table again
"Yeah" Buffy said, it was the truth, just not exactly.
As buffy took a seat at the table with the rest of the gang, she looked around at her friends. This was the first time she had really had a chance to look at them all since coming back again. Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara, they were all here…and Xander had both eyes! She would be able to help them all this time, help Willow with her magic addiction, help Xander and Anya at their wedding, and stop Tara and Anya from dieing…she smiled to herself, things were going to work out this time, and they would all be happy.
After a while of unneeded research, Buffy looked at her watch, it was still a few hours until sunset and she was completely bored with the books. She and the gang hadn't really spoken much; she didn't want to say anything until Spike got there so she could get everything she needed to say off her chest.
"I think I've found the spell we're after" Willow said, handing Buffy a book, she looked over what was on the page and then handed it back to Willow
"Yup, that looks like the one, thanks Will" Buffy said
Just then Spike came rushing through the doors with a smoking blanket protecting him from the sun. He ripped it off and started stomping on it so it wouldn't catch alight. Buffy let out a small laugh and went over to shut the door
"Hey all" Spike greeted them after recovering from putting out the blanket, but no one took much notice of the fact that he was there
looks like things are different now she's back, they're all back to hating me now he thought to himself, feeling slightly upset, before realizing he didn't care, as long as she was back in his life.
Buffy walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, he jumped slightly at the contact
"You know, the entire reason I said after sunset is so you wouldn't have to come running in wearing a smoking blanket" Buffy told him with a smile
"What cani say pet? I couldn't wait" he told her
"That's ok" she said with a sigh "it just means I have to say this sooner"
She turned to face her friends; she let out a long breath, trying to calm herself down. She moved her hands off Spikes shoulder and began to speak
"Guys, um, there's, um, there's something I wanted to tell you, about you bringing me back" she said as all of her friends turned to face her
"Sure buffy, but does the peroxided pest have to be here for this?" Xander asked
"Yes he does Xander, I asked him to be here, I needed you all here when I told you this" she said, trying to hide the slight annoyance in her voice
"That's right, the slayer wants me here" Spike said confidently, but, once again, nobody took any notice of him
"OK" Buffy started
She was extremely nervous this is going to be hard, but at least Spike is here with me she though, trying to resist the urge to grab a hold of his hand for support
"When, when you guys brought me back, you thought I was in hell" she told them, Willow smiled a little, expecting to hear a thankyou
"But, I wasn't" Willows smile faded and it was replaced with a look of fear
"I was in heaven" Buffy told them bluntly "I was happy, I was warm, I was loved, and I knew that everyone I cared about was ok. I don't blame you guys for doing what you did, there was no way you could have known where I was, but I had to tell you the truth, I couldn't lie to you all, tell you I was in hell. I couldn't pretend that I was ok. I didn't want to be brought back, I was finished, but you gave me the chance to live again, and that's what I'm going to do" she finished
Everyone was staring at her, open mouthed. Xander and Anya had a look of guilt and shock on their faces, and Willow had tears in her eyes, Tara had her arms around Willow, trying to comfort her.
"Buffy…I'm so sorry…I didn't mean…I didn't know" Willow stammered
"It's ok Willow; I know you didn't know I don't blame you. It's hard, but it'll get better, I'll deal. I just wanted you to know, I couldn't lie to you all" Buffy told her
"If, if there is anything we can do…God, I am so sorry" This time it was Xander who spoke
"it's ok, there's nothing that you can do besides doing what you were doing, It's not something that can be forgotten, but I just want to get on with my life, I just need you all to be here and be normal, be my friends" She told them, nobody said anything, they just nodded. After a short pause she quickly added
"I don't want Dawn to know just yet though, ok?"
"Ok" they all agreed in low voices, none of them able to look her in the eyes
"Good, um, I'm gonna go, I told Dawn I'd be home with her tonight" Buffy said, and before anyone could say anything she was out the back door.
Everyone sat still, not knowing what they could possibly say, suddenly, Spike slammed his fist into the corner of the wall, breaking the wood and making all of the others jump, he then walked out the back door and into the alley. When he got out there, he saw Buffy sitting on some crates
"Buffy? I though you were going home?" he asked
"Yeah, I'm going, I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes" she told him
"Oh, no worries, I'll be on my way then" he said, starting to walk away. The sun was setting, but it wasn't quite low enough for him to walk out into safely
"It's ok, I can be alone with you here" she said
"Thanks ever so" he walked over and sat down on a crate beside her
"Did you break anything?" she asked him. It took a second before Spike realized she was talking about him punching the wall
"Just a bit of the wall, I didn't realize you could hear that" he told her with a shy smile
"I didn't, your hand is bleeding" Spike looked down at his hand and saw that she was right
"So it is" he said, he hadn't even noticed, he was to angry at Buffy's friends to care. Then sun had now completely set
"Come on, I'll take you home and get that cleaned up" Buffy said, standing up
"Its ok, it'll heal soon" Spike replied, also standing up
"Spike…shut up, you're coming home, I don't care if I have to drag you there myself" she said firmly
Spike didn't reply, he just smiled at her and started to walk beside her in the direction of her house.
A few minutes passed in silence, Spike wanted to say something but didn't want to upset her or make her cry again
Bugger it he though
"Buffy, if you need anything, if there's anything I can do, or if you're in pain"
"Spike" she cut him off
Bloody hell, I knew I shouldn't have opened my bloody mouth
"Yeah" he said, they had stopped walking now, and he was waiting for the blow
"I'll be ok, I don't need anything, as long as you're here with me" she said quietly, suddenly very interested in her shoes
"Ok, wait…what?" he asked, unsure if he had heard right, but hoping more than anything that he had
"You heard me, I need you here, you're like…my strength" she told him, they were now looking into each others eyes
"I'll always be here, you know that" Spike told her
"Good, now lets go inside and get your hand fixed up" she said. Spike looked around and realized they were standing out the front lawn of Buffy's house, she walked up and opened the door.
Spike stood still, he had no idea what was going on with her, but he didn't care, he would be here for her and give her whatever she needed…no matter what
"Come on" she called put from just inside the door. Spike walked up and also stepped inside the front door
"Go sit in the lounge, I'll grab the first aid kit and be right in" She told him
Spike didn't say anything, he just did what she said and got comfy on the couch, preoccupied by his own thoughts
I can't believe she is letting me so close to her, being so nice to me, it's probably just because I took care of Dawn…I can't believe those wankers took her out of heaven, why is she acting so ok about it?
At that moment Buffy walked into the room, holding the medical supplies and smiling slightly at Spike
She's my heaven Spike thought as he returned her smile
Buffy walked over to Spike and sat down beside him on the couch
"Dawns in the kitchen making hot chocolate, then we're going to watch a movie, want to stay?" she asked him
"Well, that depends, do you have those little marshmallows?" he asked her
"You know, you are the weirdest vampire I've ever met" she told him, Spike pretended to look insulted; Buffy just rolled her eyes at him
""we have the marshmallows"
"Then, I'll stay" he told her, both knowing that he would have stayed even if there were no marshmallows
"Wait…it's not a chick flick is it?" he asked, slightly concerned
"Oh come on, you watch Dawson's Creek AND Passions, how can you complain if it's a chick flick" she asked him
"Hey, those are good shows, and it's not about the movie, it's about the nibblet telling me how 'hot' the main actor is" Buffy just laughed and Dawn walked into the room carrying mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows
"Don't even try to tell me Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom aren't total hotties" Dawn said, placing the mugs down on the table
"I take it we're watching Pirates of the Caribbean again?" Buffy asked
"You betcha" Dawn replied, taking a seat next to her sister on the couch and pressing play on the remote control. Buffy fixed up Spikes hand, more gently than he would have ever expected of her, and settled down to watch the movie. Dawn snuggled into her sister and fell asleep nearly straight away. About an hour into the movie, Buffy woke her up and Dawn decided to go to bed, leaving Buffy and Spike alone.
Spike was nervous, and extremely fidgety. Buffy noticed this and out her hand on his to stop the movements
"Calm down" she told him, firmly but nicely
"Sorry luv" he told her, right away settling down
"That's ok" she said through a yawn, Spike expected he to move away, or ask him to get off the couch, but she didn't, she stayed right where she was next to him, and rested her head on a pillow. Buffy didn't want to fall asleep, she wanted to stay awake and spend time with Spike, but she knew she wouldn't be able to fight sleep that much longer; and she was right.
When the movie was finished, Spike switched off the television; he walked back over to the couch and picked his slayer up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, snuggling into him and let out a sigh of contentment.
Spike took her upstairs and placed her down gently on the bed, he carefully pulled off her shoes one by one and pulled the comforter up from the bottom of the bed to cover her, she immediately wrapped herself up in it and Spike smiled. He knew he shouldn't do it, but he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead
"I love you" he whispered in her ear, he then walked downstairs, locked up the house and headed towards his crypt.
When Buffy heard him, she made sure he was really gone before she answered him
"I love you to" she whispered to the empty room. Soon, sleep claimed her once again; she was able to sleep peacefully, dreaming of her Spike.