AN: I am so thankful for all of you wonderful people reviewing! I love reading them so please keep them coming. I have had a few of you ask if it's going to be a 'happy ending' and whilst I will never give away the story I will hopefully give you readers some 'hope' by saying this is likely to be the longest Multi-chapter I have ever written and I would never drag one storyline out for that long, so something has to change for me to stay interested in my own story! Enjoy.

Chapter Twenty - Missing Pieces

6 Months ago - 6.5 weeks after the Geneva Attack;

Elizabeth took a seat outside Dr Sherman's office and waited for her to call her in, something she had become accustomed to since the attack in Geneva a little over 6 weeks ago. She rolled her tongue around the inside of her mouth and shook her leg as the impatience grew within. She had a very strong disliking to the fact she was even in therapy, and the mere thought of having to sit outside and wait made her tolerance wear thin. She looked up and smiled falsely as the door opened and she was beckoned into the room. Once inside and comfortable Elizabeth's mind began to race, the threat of a headache torturing her before she even began.

'So, Elizabeth, how have you been?' Dr Sherman smiled, her hands opening her book and clicking her pen. Elizabeth often yearned to see what was written about her. She simply nodded

'Yeah, fine thank you'.

'Let's try that again, How are you?' Dr Sherman pushed her. Elizabeth twisted her neck and pressed her lips together, attempting to push her own walls down to allow herself to speak freely, something that wasn't easy. She continued to nod and placed her hands in her lap.

'I'm ok, work is busy. I am still only doing a few hours a day to ease it but I think the majority of my memory Is restored, at least with work, it's only smaller details like one on one meetings I had with people I can't quite recall. So that's positive' she grinned and Dr Sherman smiled hated feeling like this, a sense of trying to please the principal in school or to give the best answers on a test. 'I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow for some testing to see how much progress I'm making since the amnesia but I feel confident about it' she continued.

'That is positive. So are you looking to return back to work full time?' She raised a questioning brow but Elizabeth ignored her.

'Yes, I am the secretary of state, I can't be having sad days forever. I need to return full time, they need me. Especially with Conrad…' she trailed off and inhaled deeply.

'You don't mention Conrad much? In fact you don't mention any of your close friends or family?' Dr Sherman pushed her again, a gentle nudge to a psychologist but a forceful shove to Elizabeth. She swallowed hard and gritted her teeth together, trying to remain in control of her own being.

'I worry about Conrad, the attack was over a month ago but he still hasn't woken up, or they haven't woken him up I should say. I get concerned for the country for reasons I cannot disclose, but I am fearful for my friend' she sighed. Her eyes glistened as they caught the soft gaze from Dr Sherman.

'Have you heard anything?' She asked kindly but Elizabeth shook her head

'No'

'That must be hard to handle?'

'You'd think, it's not easy but there are other things that tip the balance' Elizabeth chuckled

'Like what?' Dr Sherman took her aim and fired her shot but Elizabeth bounced it right back

'Like thinking about foreign politics and matters of national security' she nervously laughed and began to tap at her knees, a sign to Dr Sherman that something was on Elizabeth's mind.

'So tell me Elizabeth, you said your memory has come back with work?'

'Yes, the doctors explained that a simple retracing of your steps can refresh the memory, so having all my staff read me in on events that lead up to Geneva I've managed to restore most of the memory, in fact the headache it gives me it's like I've never been away-' she paused. 'It's only a few days before the attack that I don't really remember, such as arranging the trip over there, and small details whilst we were out there, but the rest I know, or can fill in the gaps.' She smiled.

'And what about things at home?' She asked, Elizabeth's heart sank. She knew this moment would come to her within therapy but she wasn't ready for it. She dipped her head and slowly shook it. A pause of silence between them, the pounding of her head echoing in her ears as she attempted to muster up the words to speak.

'I - I -' her mouth ran dry. She sighed and shrugged as she looked across the room to Dr Sherman helplessly, literally unable to ascertain an answer for her.

'Go on, try and explain to me' there it was, that shove again. Elizabeth looked stunned as she let out a short sharp puff of air.

'I don't know, I honestly cannot make sense of things' she sighed, it pained her deeper than she realised to say that.

'How so?'

'Something isn't right, but I am not sure what. There feels like there is a tension there, but I'm constantly reassured there isn't' she paused and Dr Sherman nodded, gently encouraging her to continue. 'Henry is always able to reassure me, but it's not working and I don't know if that's because my memory isn't quite together, so I'm frustrated a lot of the time or-' she stopped, not wanting to finish her own sentence.

'Or?'

Elizabeth inhaled deeply, she stopped and looked around the room, allowing the decor to sink into her mind as she contemplated finishing that sentence. She closed her eyes tightly and pressed her lips together before slowly resuming her speech, 'Or Henry is lying to me' the shaken words escaped her lips.

'What would he be lying about?'

'There are just 'things' that don't add up. I know he was in Geneva. I now understand the reasons why he was there. It was in relation to an asset he was involved with, but he left Geneva early. I was on the phone to him when the explosion happened, so why wasn't he there? I know what's happened to the asset and what decisions were made, unfortunately that conversation was between Conrad and I, so I've had to vaguely guess the details which doesn't help, but I've had similar situations with Conrad before, so I can hazard a guess. I don't know how Henry responded but I can make an educated guess, but, why wasn't he there? Where was he? It doesn't make sense. He reassures me that we were ok, yet in the hospital he admitted we were not ok, and given the decisions that were made I'd expect him to be a lot more irritable, but he isn't. It's almost like he's trying too hard to be nice. It's just strange. And it's not helping my memories.' She huffed. Her hands ran up her face and rubbed at her temples, the threat of the headache was now imminent.

'What is the last memory at home with Henry you have?'

'You mean aside from the more recent times?' She clarified, secretly hoping she could talk about last night's dinner with the kids, a much lighter topic of choice.

'Yes, before The attack' Dr Sherman smirked, she knew Elizabeth's game.

'It was ages ago, I don't often recall many of our evenings at home together as we're both exhausted but the last thing I remember was just after Iran, not long after I finished my first round of therapy with you' she scrunched up her face and tried to pull the memory to light.

'What's the memory of?'

'I just remember coming home and things being different between us, like a loss of connection, I don't recall the days prior to it so perhaps we had an argument or something, but coming home that night I remember bracing myself for a difficult atmosphere between us but it was a lovely night, and we ended up sitting, talking having a few glasses of wine, and then we went to bed'

'And did you sleep?' She asked and Elizabeth blushed.

'No…' Elizabeth looked into her lap and closed her eyes as the memories tormented her mentally.

'Judging by your reaction, would I be right in sensing that something happened that night?'

'Nothing happened as such, we had sex but it wasn't the same, at that point the connection was gone, it just felt like something 'we had to do' to make It the perfect end to the evening, the last time I felt like that is when we struggled to conceive Alison, it was horrible, just meaningless sex, I felt so unloved back then, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like that on that particular night too.-' she paused and looked at Dr Sherman, she shook her head slowly as she continued to speak 'I can't shake that feeling, but when I ask Henry he tells me we've had sex plenty of times since and its been 'great'. She rolled her eyes and Dr Sherman stifled a chuckle with her.

'I just don't feel it, I feel like there is something I am missing and everyone knows but me, yet when I ask I get the same answer every single time. The answers are too monotonous to be true.' She chewed her lip, for the first time in a while she was listening to her gut instinct, the one telling her that something was off, way off.

'I think there is still a long way in your recovery Elizabeth, both physically and mentally, so don't push everything at once, just try and piece things back together one bit at a time rather than trying to visualise the whole image with only a few fragments' Dr Sherman smiled softly and Elizabeth nodded, she closed her eyes and rubbed her head once again.

'Headache?' Dr Sherman asked and she slowly nodded.

'Every time' she laughed at the irony.

'Why don't we leave it there for today, you really opened up then, thank you' she acknowledged her efforts and Elizabeth smiled softly. 'Same time next week?

'Yeah, I'll have Blake schedule it in' Elizabeth stood and shook her hand, thanking her before swiftly leaving. Her head consumed with the idea that Henry is lying to her about something, the more she learnt about past events the deeper her frustrations grew, but she also knew that it was only a matter of time, after all she hadn't forgotten her CIA days, and she knew a liar when she saw one…