AN: Thank you for the response to this! I love that some of you are now not wanting them back together! All I will say is that I am not going to give away the storyline but I can promise that until the very end of this fic you will get the same amount of detail that you've had to date. I told myself when I started this that I would skip details, all the smaller more intricate things you need to know as much as the bigger things, so let's see where we end up...
Chapter Thirty One - Ripples within the river
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Elizabeth strode down the halls of the white house towards the oval office. She hadn't said a word since they left the State department, she couldn't speak, her mouth ran dry, her thought process completely blocked, palms sweating at her sides as she tried to gain some form of composure. She inhaled deeply as she looked at Russell waiting outside the office.
'I wouldn't want to be you right now Bess, He's waiting for us' He shook his head and widened his eyes as he looked at a sheepish Blake. Elizabeth ignored his comment and wrapped her hands around the door handle, slowly pushing it open. She turned with the door slightly ajar
'Can you just wait here a minute? I need a moment alone with the President' she shakily requested and slipped inside, closing the door behind her before either of them could reply.
She looked across the room, suddenly it felt much bigger and colder than she remembered. Her hands wrapped around her waist as she attempted to feel a little more secure. She watched as the back of the president's chair slowly began to spin around and face her. With a shaky exhale her eyes locked onto his.
'Good Morning Mr President' her voice shook as she attempted to communicate. Conrad looked to the door and back at her 'I asked them to wait outside for a moment, I just wanted to speak with you alone first' she clarified and he nodded showing his understanding. Elizabeth had never felt so desperate for someone to speak to her, she was struggling to gage his mood by his body language alone, she remained rooted to the spot, unsure if her limbs could even move.
'Why?' He questioned her.
'Sir If you're going to fire me that's ok but please do not do It in front of Blake and Russell, I don't think I can stomach another public humiliation' She spoke honestly as her arms slipped from across her and started to move around as she spoke, an entire mixture of emotions that she didn't know how to process conveyed through her body language.
'Elizabeth I am furious with you and Henry, I've been on the phone to him this morning giving him the same speech. I cannot believe that I have to have this conversation with you of all people about conduct and being professional! I have these chats with Harrison you know.' He started shouting, Elizabeth knew better than to answer back, indeed feeling like his child being reprimanded.
'As far as public humiliation I trust you've seen the news? Elizabeth, do you realise how lucky you both are that no one filmed Henry's actions inside the venue? Luckily for you it's all hearsay and rumours so we can squash that. I mean what is going on here Elizabeth? Henry was useless on the phone, not willing to give up any information so you best start talking to me and fast,' he demanded. Her core shook with the volume of his speech.
'I…I,We're having some difficulties at the minute-'
'I figured,' he replied sarcastically. 'Do you realise this could have repercussions beyond us? I have a re-election campaign to start in a few months time, this better not come back and haunt me Elizabeth, so help me god if it does.' He threatened as his anger spilled into the room. Elizabeth held her breath the entire time, she was so tired of conflict.
'Mr President I am so sorry' she spoke above him, her voice thick with sorrow. 'I love my job sir, please don't fire me' she echoed her earlier request and Conrad sighed heavily. He looked at her properly for the first time since she entered the office, much smaller In frame than he remembered, her face red and puffy and her features looking worn, her eyes brimming with water as she stared at him.
'I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it but, Elizabeth I am not going to fire you, You're the best god damn secretary of state I've had, heck I think you're the best this country has had, now why would I shoot myself in the foot like that?' His voice's confident tone echoed around the room as a sense of relief washed over Elizabeth.
'Oh thank god' she let out a sigh of relief as she tipped her head forward a little, she was sure in that instant she was going to be sick or burst out crying. Determined to do neither she placed her hands on her stomach and tried to steady her breath, but it wasn't working, the short shallow pants coming from her were slowly sending her towards a panic. Conrad rose from his desk and walked towards her, he gently placed an arm on her back and guided her towards the couch before opening the door and asking someone to fetch the Secretary some water and asking for someone to get Lydia. He returned to the couch moments later and sat opposite her, watching her as she tried so hard not to break down before him.
'Bess' he caught her attention and she looked up at him, completely unsure of how to respond to anything she searched his face for answers but it was no use, her body was consumed by tiredness and emotional exhaustion, before he could continue there was a knock at the door which he beckoned in knowing it would be the drinks request, to Elizabeth's surprise It was being brought in by Lydia.
'Oh Darling' she sighed as she saw Elizabeth sat before her in a state. Lydia took a seat next to her and smiled softly at Conrad as she poured the water for them all.
'Thank you' Elizabeth whispered as she cleared her dry mouth with the icy cold water.
'I'd offer you something stronger but…' Conrad half joked and Elizabeth laughed at the irony.
'Bess, what is going on?' He asked directly and Lydia scoffed.
'Oh Conrad! Can't you be a bit more subtle' she rolled her eyes and looked at Elizabeth
'What he means is, we're worried about you. After last night's display from Henry none of us have slept well. We've all be so worried about you and Henry, this is out of character for you both and were not here to pass judgment or penalise either of your for what happened, we just want to be here as a support system for you, make sure that things are ok and if there not what can we do to help' Lydia spoke and Elizabeth nodded slowly.
'Sir-'
'Conrad' he corrected her and she smiled
'Conrad, I am so so sorry for Henry's behaviour last night-' she ran her fingers through her hair as she spoke
'As I mentioned, I spoke to Henry this morning. I gave him a call about forty minutes ago. I felt we needed a chat' Conrad confirmed. Elizabeth's eyes widened and a slight concern grew inside her as she looked at him, willing him to explain more. 'Has he not spoken to you?' He asked
'No, he sent me a message which hinted that you may have spoken, but nothing else. Why? What happened? What was said? Is he ok?' She asked as she looked between both Conrad and Lydia. Conrad held his hands up gesturing for her to stop with the questions and to take a moment.
'He is fine, feeling a little ashamed of his behaviour but other than that it's nothing that cannot be fixed. He didn't really say much, just that things were tense, he confessed he was still upset about the Dimitri situation and he was apologetic but meant what he said; he resents me for offering you the job at state' Conrad confirmed and leant back on the couch.
'Oh Henry' she sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. 'He doesn't resent you, at least I don't think he does. I think that resentment is more towards me and the endless hours of work I put into this place, but it could be and has been with any job before. It's nothing to do with you directly' she explained, offering a half truth to try and make this conversation a little less intimidating for herself.
'I can give you some time off if it's what you need?' He asked but she instantly shut him down.
'No, no that won't be helpful now' she dismissed. 'Thank you for the offer but I think any time off at this moment In time will be wasted rather than enjoyed. Henry and I are not even speaking at the minute so I don't see how time together is going to help, It will likely add fuel to the fire' she confessed, the sadness enveloping her as she spoke.
'He said he was in Pittsburgh?'
'Yeah, space is needed'
'Space can be a good thing you know. Conrad and I have had times where we've had to spend a few days apart. Things get intense and you just need a period to cool off' Lydia attempted to reassure her and validate her feelings.
'Yeah I am sure when he comes back things will have settled and I might come back to you for that bit of time off' she smiled and brushed the issue under the carpet. Conrad was no fool and he could see right through her but decided to respect their friendship and not push her further.
'Should we call Blake and Russell now and discuss last night's events?' She asked, determined to continue with the day.
'I'll take that as my cue to leave' she patted Elizabeth on the leg 'Go Steady, I am here if you ever need a chat' she offered and parted with a gentle reassuring rub of the arm.
'Before we call them in, Bess I am sorry if I have played any part in the tension within your relationship with Henry'
'Thank you, but the blame doesn't lay with you Conrad. It's misplaced anger on Henry's part, he is projecting the blame on you but it's me who agrees to all of this. I can just say no at any moment, yet I don't, despite the fact I know every time I say yes its going to ruin my marriage just a fraction more' the heaviness of her words fell into the room like a falling building, the wreckage and severity of what was said lay out clearly before them. Conrad stood and walked towards the door, he stopped before opening it and turned to look over at her, his heart sinking for his old friend whom he loved dearly.
'Perhaps that time off will be good before you run out of fractions' It was almost an order from him. Elizabeth looked up at him glumly,
'Yeah maybe' her words were cold and flat, all aspects of hope removed as she found a new inability to lie about the state of her marriage. The door was open and Blake and Russell both walked in joining her in the seating area.
'Right, let's get our story straight' Russell commanded and they all got to work on perfecting the story of what happened last night, but doing so in a way that wouldn't be so damaging. In a spare second Elizabeth grabbed her phone and quickly typed out a reply to Henry.
To: Henry
From: Elizabeth
POTUS meeting done, I'm sorry too.
When will you be home? Think we need to talk x
Within seconds her phone bleeped and she read his reply instantly wishing she hadn't.
To: Elizabeth
From: Henry
I can't help but think everything has been said. Won't be home tonight.
— MS —
'Was that Elizabeth?' Maureen asked as she walked over to her brother with a drink. She sat on the porch swing opposite him, watching him stare at his phone before slipping it in his pocket.
'Yes, she just met with POTUS. Wanted to know when I would be home' he relayed the message back to her and took a sip of his drink. He sat on the porch steps, his head resting on the wooden frames behind him as he tried to nurse his hangover and restless thoughts.
'And?'
'And nothing, I can't go home yet. I need to get things straight in my head. If I go home now we're going to argue and everything will be destroyed' he admitted, his stomach sinking at the thought.
'Is it not already destroyed?' His father interrupted as he joined them and took a seat next to his daughter. Henry closed his eyes at the thought of his marriage being over.
'Those comments are not helpful dad' he moaned
'I'm not trying to be rude Henry, I am being honest. I know you love Elizabeth dearly, I am just asking if there is anything left to destroy, but it doesn't look like it to me' he shrugged offering his son the cold hard truth.
'He's right Henry, as much a Queen Elizabeth irritates me-'
'Don't call her that' he cut across and glared at his sister who shrugged in response.
'I'm just saying, I don't want you to be upset and feeling like this, but I also don't want to send you back to a loveless marriage Henry.'
'I don't think it's loveless, it's just these past seven months have been so difficult-' his voice cracked as the emotion bit at his tongue. His eyes glistened under the sunlight as he cleared his throat and sniffled. 'I keep blaming her and that stupid job, but I am not even angry at her, I wish I hadn't got involved in some of the work I did, I couldn't do the job that was asked of me putting Elizabeth in a compromising situation and all I've done since is take it out on her.' He sniffled once again forcing his tears away as he continued to speak 'I haven't been the husband she deserves, even at the hospital in Geneva when she came around I couldn't stay in the room. My wife nearly died and I couldn't even put my own anger aside to support her. What does that say about me?' He scoffed and wiped his eyes as a stray tear began to fall.
'But Henry you are allowed to be angry at whatever it is you can't tell us.' His dad spoke and Henry nodded slowly,
'I know that, I've been selfish. I've been so caught up in the pain she has caused me that I've continued to ignore the pain I've caused her by lying to her repeatedly over the last few months. I humiliated her in front of the kids, and now In front of the president and her staff' he groaned in frustration with himself, he hit his head against the wooden panelling as he spoke.
'And the world' Maureen added. Henry opened one eye and glanced over to her.
'Don't' he warned and she raised her hand admitting defeat.
'Maureen, when you got divorced, how did you know it was the right thing to do?' Henry asked out of desperation
'Well, Henry if you're thinking about it that is normally a sign that things need to change but, I guess it was when I became more in love with the memories than I did with the person standing in front of me' she sighed and her father placed a loving hand on her knee.
'Do you want a divorce son?' Patrick rated a questioning eyebrow
'No, but I don't want this mess of a marriage either. If we continue like this we're going to completely destroy one another and the kids in the process. It almost feels kinder to walk away' and with that sentence he broke down. His heart crushed into pieces as he drowned within his own sorrow. Tears spilled down his cheeks as his cries grew in volume. Maureen rushed to his side and wrapped her arms around her broken brother, offering him a safe space to cry.
"What do I do, someone tell me what to do?'' His words were strained as he sobbed begging them for answers, answers that none of them would give, for this was their mess to wade through, or drown in…
