oxFHxo: Tee Hee. This was fun to make. I hope that you like it!
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts characters are owned by the people who made Kingdom Hearts, I & II. The song and title "Simple and Clean" are owned by Utada Hikaru.
Background music of "Simple & Clean" fades in as the cameras all direct on me. God I love this business.
"We're back! Welcome to Final Hearts Afternoon Show, hosted by yours truly, Rena! Okay, so you beat the game, Kingdom Hearts. Did you ask why Ansem said 'darkness' about 14 times in his speech? Well, our special guest today is Ansem, a.k.a. Xehanort's other or whatever, and we will be asking him exactly that! Bring out the man!"
Ansem crosses the stage, his shadow companion not too far behind, while many "boos" are heard throughout the audience. The sics his monster on a member of the audience. Let's just say we're one short of a full house now.
"Now, now, Ans," I tut, "That's not very nice now is it?"
"I hate you." Ansem retorts.
Kind of creepy? I scoot my chair over. A good ten feet should do it.
"Err…" I plaster a cheesy smile on, and face the camera, even though in the corner of my eyes I am looking at Ansem warily. " So, Ans, when you were on Destiny Islands and gave Sora the speech about darkness and everything like that, why did you say, erm, darkness about fourteen times? "
"Well you see, I have a very limited…um..what do you call it…word bank?"
"Vocabulary."
"DON'T YOU CORRECT ME!" he snarls, then takes a deep breath and smiles, "Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he glares at me. I move over a little more, "I was unprepared! I didn't think that that stupid kid would be there that soon…I thought I might be able to fix up the island or something. But noooo he had to come with his "light this" "light that" and then made me fly around the island! That little kid, ARGH I hate him so much! I COULD KILL HIM! BUT I GUESS YOU WOULD WORK TO! WHYD YOU HAVE TO BRING ALL THESE FEELINGS TO THE TOP?" At that point in time, I was really freaked out. Wouldn't you be if this tanned skin guy comes running at you, flips up your table – knocking over my coffee, and that was good stuff – that you use everyday, and sics a demonic shadow heartless thing at you?
"Commercial break!" I am shouting, as the monster is trying to give me that deadly "?" massage. "COMMERCIAL BREAK!" I trip in front of a camera, "ThatsallthetimewehavefortodayTHANKSFORLISTENINGBYE!" I blurt with that smile. The cameras turn off. The news will have a field day with this one. I frown. "SECURITY!"
The team comes rushing in. A mouse, a duck, and a dog. By this time the audience had finished running around aimlessly and headed out the door, deciding that the parking lot was a bigger and more dramatic place to draw attention and be on the 5:00 news. I, on the other hand, was confused. "What the? What happened to Stan and Murt?"
Stan and Murt were my original security officers. "OW!" I was on my stomach, with a shadow demon punching my head into the floor, while I tried to figure out what these three were trying to get at by being security officers. I managed to get up. "Stop! Just can you stop it please?" I was screaming at the monster. It was confused. "STOP! What are you! Get a life! Just go find Ansem or whatever." I stopped and thought for a second. "OH I AM GUNNA KILL HIM!"
I started for the door, but security held me back. Only the mouse let go. But that's probably because I bit it. When I was calming down, they sat me down in a studio chair that wasn't broken. Well, actually it was missing an armrest. But who cares? I had to focus on the three.
The dog stepped forward, "Gwarsh, I'm Goofy at your service!" he said while he saluted.
"Wak! I'm Donald!"
"Well gee, I'm King Mickey! Uhuh!"
I glared at them. Then I smiled. I had an idea.
"Hey guys! Great that you're here! I needed new security officers anyway."
They beamed. My intentions were really to have them on the show. Try to get dirt on Sora. This was going to be great.
"Owch!" I looked down at my arm. It was bleeding from the broken armrest.
"Dammit!" I looked up. The whole place was trashed. "Looks like that's the end of my business." The cameramen were gone. Even my new security was gone. Chunks of the wall were missing, and electric cords were spitting sparks. A slow, drunk version of simple and clean began to play. I broke down crying.
"I JUST WANTED THE COFFEE!" I scream into the echoing room. But no. Even that was gone, being soaked up into new burbur set carpet...
oxFhxo: Review please!