Problems With Dating the RWBY Girls

Chapter 52: Wild Card – Rang Xiao Long/Yang Alter

Jaune had never been dumb enough to try and pigeonhole people into a single role. Even he knew that people were multifaceted, and that for all intents and purposes, it was impossible to boil down the very essence of someone's being into one word. Even the simplest of people had more going on under the hood than merely one descriptive term could encompass.

That was why, when he thought of his girlfriend, a few different words came to mind. Obviously, she was cute and sweet, but she was also bookish and frumpy.

"Jaune, do you mind?" Rang said, interrupting his thoughts. "You're in my sunlight."

And somewhat annoying, too. Couldn't forget that.

Jaune's eye twitched. "I'm sitting across from you, Rang."

"Yeah, and you're in my sunlight, making it hard to read. So, if it's not too much trouble?"

He sighed tiredly, then moved his chair over a few inches. "Thank you," Rang said, before then adjusting her glasses and turning her attention back to her book.

Normally, that'd be embarrassing all on its own even if nobody else was around to see it, but of course every single one of his friends had to be in the library at the same table, so now they were all going to start something over it, because apparently he hadn't suffered enough.

"Guys, I'm fucking begging you," Jaune started.

"Language, please," Rang interrupted. "I don't want you setting a poor example for Ruby."

"What are you talking about, Rang?" Ruby asked. "You act like I've never heard anyone swear before. Did you forget that we grew up around Uncle Qrow?"

"No, I did not forget." Rang turned a page in her book. "Hence why I remember why Qrow was such a bad influence on us from a developmental standpoint. It's no wonder we both gravitated towards a career as dangerous as becoming Huntresses – he essentially implanted upon us at a young age via example, which psychologically affected us in such a way that it made us unconsciously want to embrace the life of Huntresses."

"My brain hurts..." Nora groaned, clutching at her temples. "Can you use smaller words, please?"

"Yes, please," Blake agreed. "I'm supposed to be the smart, quiet, bookish one. You're kind of stealing my shtick, here."

"What do you mean, your shtick?" Weiss demanded. "I'm also smart and bookish. Aside from Rang, I have the highest grades out of all of us here."

"A fact which I'm sure irritates you to no end," Rang said without looking up. She brushed a strand of strawberry-blonde hair out of her face as she turned another page.

"It'd irritate me less if I didn't actually have a life outside of studying," Weiss said.

Jaune just groaned, hiding his head in his hands. "Guys, for real, do we have to do this now?"

"Apparently," Ren commented. "You don't understand, Jaune – the balance of their team has been thrown off somehow. Rang is essentially taking elements from two of them, thus rendering aspects of their very characters obsolete. Is it any wonder why their team has so much tension?"

"What's their team name, anyway?" Pyrrha couldn't help but ask. "Seriously, what color can you make with two Rs, a B, and a W?"

"Rainbow, obviously," Rang chimed in. "RRBW."

Pyrrha frowned, crossing her arms. "You don't need to sound so smug about it..."

"You know, for someone who detests violence, you're really cruising for a bruising right now," Blake said. "I'm tempted to challenge you to a spar because you're being very annoying."

"I try," Rang said.

"Maybe you should try a bit less," Jaune commented. "You have, like, negative charisma."

"That's still enough to make you fall for me, Jaune."

"...Alright, yeah, admittedly I'm into it. But everyone else? Well, they might just sneak up on you in the locker room and shove you inside a locker."

"I'd like to see them try." Without looking up from her book, Rang flexed a bicep. "I'll admit that I'm a nerd, but I'm also a nerd that can kick some serious butt."

Ruby groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Rang, I'm begging you, please just say 'ass' like a normal teenager…"

For the first time, Rang looked up from her book, glaring at her sister. "Language, young lady!"

"Oh, come on. What are you going to do if I cuss? Tell Dad on me?"

Rang just stared at her, then exhaled sharply. She set her book down, then reached into her pocket, retrieving her scroll. Ruby rolled her eyes.

"You can't be serious, Rang," she deadpanned.

"Hey, Dad," Rang said. "Yeah, I just wanted you to know that Ruby's over here cussing like a sailor."

"It was one swear word, Rang!" Ruby protested.

"Yeah? Okay, I'll tell her." Rang looked over to Ruby. "Dad says no video games for three days."

Ruby threw up her hands in frustration. "You're unbelievable, you know that? I honestly cannot believe that you're my sister, because you're somehow an even bigger dork than I am. I can't help but wonder what your biological mother would say if she could see you now."

"Hopefully, she'd be disgusted," Rang commented as she closed her scroll and pocketed it, then picked up her book again. "Ever since I first learned what kind of person she was, I've dedicated my entire being to making myself into the opposite of her. Raven Branwen is a disgusting excuse for a human, and I refuse to follow in her footsteps in any way, shape, or form."

"So you decided to take Goodwitch as a role model instead?" Weiss couldn't help but ask. "Because you've got more in common with Goodwitch than Raven at this point."
Rang glared at her. "Glynda Goodwitch is a hard-working woman who doesn't get the respect or recognition she deserves. We should all be so lucky as to turn into Huntresses of her caliber."

"Ten points to Team RRBW," Goodwitch said through the intercom. "Well, well, look at that – Team RRBW is still on-track to win the house cup handily. The rest of you had better step up."

Predictably, they all ignored her, both because nobody but Rang actually cared about Goodwitch and also because it wasn't even worth trying to win the house cup, since it was guaranteed that Ozpin was just going to pull points out of his ass at the end of the year for his preferred side anyway.

"All I'm saying is that we are in training to be Huntresses," Rang stated. "We ought to conduct ourselves according to a higher standard, as befitting our status as defenders of humanity."

"That's boring, though," Nora commented. "I'm only here to party and get laid for four years. The Grimm smashing is just a nice bonus."

Rang actually shuddered. "Eugh… talk about going against everything a Huntress stands for. I don't know how you can do that to yourself."

"Do what?" Nora asked.

"Party like crazy and have sex all the time."

"Well, I'm not actually having sex all the time, mainly because I haven't found the right guy yet. As for partying… what can I say, except that drinking is fun?"

Rang peered at Nora from over her book, then adjusted her glasses slightly. "Drinking is not fun," she insisted. "Drinking involves the mass consumption of harmful chemicals in quantities sufficient enough to cause intoxication. In high quantities, it can cause death. Alcohol is highly dangerous, and as someone who has an alcoholic in the family, I refuse to partake in it. And so does Ruby, for that matter."

"Whoa, whoa, hold up!" Ruby said. "What if I want to drink alcohol when I get older?"

"Ruby, please," Rang said, rolling her eyes. "We both know you couldn't stand the taste."

"Not true," Weiss chimed in. "Sure, Ruby is such a sugar fiend that I'm still not quite sure how she has all her teeth, but there are plenty of alcoholic drinks that someone with her, shall we say, unique tastes could enjoy."

"Why do you know this?" Blake wondered. "Because you seem like the absolute last person at this table who would have even passing knowledge of alcoholic drinks."

"I learned this stuff specifically because I knew it would irritate Rang," Weiss said.

"Mission accomplished…" Rang grumbled. She looked back to Ruby. "Anyway, no, you will not be consuming alcohol even when you come of age, young lady. I forbid it."

Ruby scowled, then angrily crossed her arms. "Just because you're my big sister, that doesn't mean you have to be so overprotective."

"On the contrary, someone has to do it, and since Dad and Uncle Qrow aren't here, it falls to me."

Ruby stared at her for a moment, then looked over to Jaune. "Can't you do something about this?"

He stared at her, surprised. "Me? What do you expect me to do about it?"

"How about pull the stick out of her ass, for one?"

Rang's eyes narrowed. "Ruby-"

Ruby stuck her tongue out at her, then looked back to Jaune. "Look, out of everyone here, you're the only one with the power to make Rang not obnoxious."

"And how do you figure that?" Jaune asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Pyrrha said. "You need to go bang the virginity out of her."

Jaune was actually taken aback. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me," Pyrrha said. "I'm convinced that Rang is so uptight all the time because she needs a good orgasm or ten. I figure that once you get her into bed and start making her go all ahegao, she'll be a lot easier to deal with."

"That isn't going to happen any time soon," Rang interjected. "Your uncouth language aside, Jaune and I are taking it slow. I was not planning to have relations with him until much later into our relationship. If possible, I would like to wait until my wedding night."

Everyone stared at her for a second, and then they all looked back to Jaune.

"Jaune, I am fucking begging you," Weiss said. "Please, please slip your girlfriend the five-and-a-half-inch nightcrawler already."

"Why are you all acting like this is some kind of a travesty?" Jaune asked. "Seriously, I'm not going to pressure Rang into doing anything she doesn't want to."

"Because, stupid, this girl is obviously very, very repressed," Blake argued.

"How do you figure?"

Blake stared at him for a moment, then looked over to Rang. "Rang, how often do you masturbate?"

Rang glared at her. "Such an inappropriate question, spoken aloud in a library, of all places!"

"I'm going to repeat it over and over until you answer it. The more times I have to repeat it, the louder I'll say it. So either you can just answer outright or I can make it hard. I will ask again, this time slightly louder." Blake cleared her throat. "Rang, how often do you masturbate?"

Rang stared at her, then looked away, her face flushing red. "...I don't… do that..." She muttered. "It's unbecoming of a lady."

"And how often do you look at porn?" Pyrrha asked.

"Never," Rake insisted. "Pornography is absolute filth, and it would be best for the entire world if it were banned."

"One final question," Nora said. "Have you ever had an orgasm a single time in your life?"

"Certainly not!" Rang answered, sounding downright scandalized. "I am a pure maiden, and I will not be polluted by your… your… degeneracy! Now, cease these disgusting questions at once, or else!"

They all stared at Rang as her eyes flashed red, then looked back to Jaune in desperation.

"Dude, trust us, that's no way to live, even for a woman," Ruby insisted. "You can fix that."

"Well, I'm not going to unless Rang approaches me and specifically asks for it," Jaune answered firmly. "So you can all forget about it."

Thankfully, the conversation died after that, though all the girls at the table aside from Rang shared a glance with each other that just screamed at him that they were planning something. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but knowing them, it was probably nothing good.

The next day arrived as normal, with Jaune and his team entering the cafeteria or breakfast. Of course, it only took him a moment to realize that something wasn't right, namely that Team RRBW wasn't there.

"Huh," Jaune noted. "That's weird. Usually Rang's tried to force her team to get up by now. Wonder what changed."

"Maybe they finally succeeded in talking some sense into her," Nora chimed in.

Jaune frowned, then shook his head. "No, I think something happened. Not sure what, though."

Thankfully, he didn't have to wonder what had happened for long, because Team RRBW made their entrance at that moment. Curiously, they looked a little different – Ruby, Weiss, and Blake all looked a bit shifty for some reason, while Rang looked very haggard. Instantly, alarm bells started going off in Jaune's head.

"Alright," he said as the four of them sat down. "What did you three idiots do to Rang?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jaune," Weiss said. "Rang simply had a very odd dream last night that she's currently having trouble comprehending."

"Unless you're implying that one of us secretly has a dream-altering semblance, we couldn't possibly be responsible for that," Blake added.

Ruby nodded. "These things happen, Jaune. Honestly, what Rang needs right now is for you to be a good boyfriend and help her out with whatever she needs. Whatever she needs."

Jaune stared at her for a moment, but then shook his head. Clearly, this was just Ruby being weird, and certainly not her trying to push him into doing something. He looked over to Rang. "You okay?"

"F-fine!" she insisted, a bit too forcefully. "Just… had a weird dream, is all!"

"Weird how?" Jaune couldn't help but ask. "Was it a nightmare?"

"To a certain degree," Rang commented, though she sounded very unsure of herself. "I'm not sure how to describe it."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try," Nora insisted. "Go on, Rang. Tell Jaune what you dreamed about."

"Nora, don't act weird," Jaune chastised. "Rang will share her weird dream when she's ready, and not a second before."

"I agree with Nora on this one," Pyrrha chimed in. "Letting these things fester can't be good for her. It's best to discuss them openly, no matter how perverted they may be."

Rang flushed red at that statement, and Jaune caught on immediately. "Rang," he began, "...Did you have a lewd dream?"

"N-no!" she said. "No, of course not! I'm not a degenerate, like the rest of you! I don't get lewd dreams! I am a pure maiden!"

"Oddly specific," Weiss pointed out. "So you're telling us that you absolutely didn't have a dream of your stud of a boyfriend pinning you down, then thrusting inside you with all his might over and over again until he cums inside you, then lovingly cuddles you afterwards?"

Rang gave a mortified squeak, then hurriedly adjusted her glasses. "O-of course not!" She fidgeted in her seat, rubbing her thighs together. "W-what could have possibly given you that idea, Weiss? I already told you all that I'm not lewd like the rest of you!"

"Then why did we hear you moaning out Jaune's name in your sleep?" Blake questioned.

"I-I didn't!" Rang insisted. "You heard nothing!"

"Suit yourself, Rang," Ruby said with a shrug. "By the way, could you do me a favor and send a text to Dad asking about when he needs us to come home for the weekend and watch Zwei? I'd do it myself, but I left my scroll in the dorm."

Rang obliged, pulling out her scroll and opening it… only to immediately recoil in her seat and drop her scroll on the table.

"What's the matter, Rang?" Jaune asked.

"N-nothing!" Rang said. "Yup, nothing!"

"Are you sure about that?" Pyrrha asked. "Because I could have sworn that I just saw a naked picture of Jaune flash across your scroll for a single frame. Just enough to make a psychological impact."

"Hang on, a nude picture of me?" Jaune questioned. "Who the hell would have that?!"

"I don't know, Jaune," Ren said. "Maybe you should stop showering with the door unlocked. You never know who might snap a picture and use it for their own purposes."

"Okay, what the hell did you guys do?!" Jaune demanded.

"We didn't do anything, Jaune," Pyrrha insisted. "We most certainly did not take naked pictures of you while you were showering, then upload them to Rang's scroll and include a script that makes them periodically flash across her screen in one-frame intervals."

"And we also definitely didn't secretly record you masturbating in the shower, then convert it to an MP3 file, which we then proceeded to play through headphones at a very low volume directly into Rang's head while she slept," Ruby added.

"We totally didn't do any of that," Blake said. "Especially not for the express purpose of getting Rang to confront the fact that she secretly really, really wants that Arc dick of yours to thrust inside her over and over while she screams your name to the high heavens and is brought to new heights of ecstasy that she's only ever dreamed of."

"We absolutely don't want that," Nora chimed in. "That would be very, very wrong. After all, it's much better for us to simply sit here and let her repress her own desires for no reason other than because she thinks she's above it all. Even though we all know that secretly, she really wants you to make her cum all over her bedsheets, and the only reason she's not diddling herself raw to the thought of you making her a woman is because she likes to think she's above it all. But the truth is that she's more than ready to submit herself to the Arc cock, and-"

"Alright, alright!" Rang shouted. "You're right, okay?! You're all right! I just want Jaune to pin me down and… and… fuck me, already!"

The entire cafeteria froze and stared at her, but not because what she was doing was embarrassing – rather, they were all just surprised to hear such crude language coming from Rang, of all people.

And she didn't stop there.

"I… I feel so strange, whenever I'm around you, Jaune," Rang admitted. "My heart starts beating fast, and I feel wet… d-down there. I keep having lewd thoughts pop into my mind, and I want to ignore them, because I am not like the rest of you, I'm not a degenerate pervert, I'm pure, damn it! But I can't ignore it any longer, okay? All I want is for you to pin me down and make me your b-bitch, already..."

"Well, that certainly sounds like an offer to me," Ruby said. "What say you, Jaune?"

"Okay, stop," Jaune said, exasperated. "Just… I want to be perfectly clear about what's happening here before I jump into this headfirst, alright? Okay, so just to make sure I'm on the same page – you've all basically implanted the idea of riding my dick into Rang's brain through some bizarre pseudo-hypnotic suggestion, and now it's stuck in there real good and won't leave, and the only cure for her to function somewhat normally again is for me to make her go all ahegao over and over again until she's satisfied. Am I understanding that?"

"Basically." Weiss shrugged. "The only question is if you're going to do it."

Jaune scratched his head. "That's a difficult question. I mean, the most Rang and I have done so far is hold hands."

"Seriously?" Pyrrha deadpanned. "You two have been dating for how many weeks, and you've never even kissed yet? What, did you just skip the entire dating, courtship, and wedding night phase, and then settle into that part of the relationship where you've already been married for twenty years? I mean, for real, I consider myself someone who's a bit more reserved and prudish than most girls, and even I would be going crazy if I had a perfectly good boyfriend right there who I had to hold myself back from fully enjoying."

"That's a surprisingly crude way for Pyrrha to put it, but she does have a point," Ren chimed in. "Jaune, your relationship with Rang is progressing at such a snail's pace that if it was a shitty romance manga, the readers would have already rioted about how it's been a hundred chapters and all you've done is hold hands so far. I am now convinced that not only does Rang need you inside her, but you also need her to let you inside her, you know? Because, good Gods, how have you two not gone crazy yet, holding yourselves back like this over nothing?"

"It wasn't over nothing!" Jaune protested. "It's what she was comfortable with, and I wasn't about to push her into doing something she wasn't comfortable with."

"And we can respect that, but come on," Blake said. "Not only do you two both have the patience of ordained priests, but you must also have the libidos of priests, too."

"I still masturbate, you know," Jaune pointed out.

"I know what I said."

"Enough!" Rang shouted, ending the conversation then and there. "I… I can't take it anymore! I don't care how fast this accelerates our relationship, Jaune – I need you! Right now!"

"Right now?" Jaune asked, bewildered. "But we have class-"

He didn't get any further, because Rang reached over the table, grabbed him by the back of the head, and pulled him in for a big kiss. The entire cafeteria erupted into cheers, though they were cut off by the intercom coming to life.

"One thousand points from Team RRBW!" Goodwitch snapped. "I can't believe Miss Xiao Long had her first kiss before I did! Class is canceled for the day; I'm going to go drink wine, eat ice cream, and watch soap operas while crying!"

"Well, that solves that problem," Nora said. "Jaune, just so you know, I keep condoms and lube under the sink in the bathroom."

"You do?" Pyrrha asked, surprised. "What on Remnant for?"

"In case a situation like this ever came up. I got that stuff as soon as one of us started dating, because I figured it'd come in handy. Safe to say I made a good move."

"I owe you one, Nora," Jaune said, though that was as far as he got, as Rang picked him up, slung him over her shoulder, and took off running.

It was hot, yet terrifying at the same time. That was probably why it was such a blessing when she got to his dorm room, then threw the door open and tossed him on the bed, then instantly began to strip. Jaune couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"I thought you wanted to be on the bottom?" he said.

"We'll play it by ear, because at this point, I don't care," Rang growled. "All I know is that I want you inside me, and I can't hold it back anymore. Give me everything you've got, Jaune."

So he did, and it was good.

The next morning, Jaune awoke to the sun shining on his eyes from between the blinds. He groaned as he cracked his eyes open, then brought a hand up to shield them from the light. Next to him, Rang stirred, letting out a cute little yawn as she also woke up. She blinked, a happy smile steadily crossing her face as the two of them locked eyes.

"Good morn-" Jaune managed to get out, before she lunged forwards and kissed him. He was surprised at first, but it only took a moment for him to reciprocate.

They broke the kiss after a few seconds. Jaune was surprised – he expected Rang to look somewhat bashful about the whole thing, especially about the fact that she was still completely naked in front of him, but there was none of that. Rather, she just seemed happy to see him.

"Good morning, Jaune," Rang said. "You know, I had a good time last night. A really good time."

"I'm glad," Jaune replied. "Though, I'm sorry your friends sort of pushed you into it."

"They did what they had to, honestly," Rang told him. "If it weren't for them, I probably would have stayed completely chaste until my wedding night. Admirable, to be sure, but I don't think that's what you wanted. And I know what you're about to say – that you're willing to do whatever will make me happy. Well, I can respect that, but I don't think it's really what you wanted, you know? I've seen how you look at me when you think I wasn't paying attention."

Jaune couldn't help but flush red. "...In my defense, you're very attractive, Rang. I don't want to sound like a pervert or anything, but seriously, have you looked in a mirror ever?"

Rang faltered slightly. "...Am I really that attractive to people?"

"Gods, yes," Jaune insisted. "Here, I'll spell it out for you. You've got strawberry-blonde hair that compliments your eyes really well, you're extremely fit and muscular without looking unnatural like some female bodybuilders do, and as if that isn't enough, you wear glasses, too."

"...Guys think glasses are cute?"

Jaune stared at her like she had grown a second head. "Rang, girls in glasses are incredibly cute. I'm not going to get into it-"

"No, please do," Rang insisted. "Because I'm curious. What's so cute about bad eyesight?"

"It's not the eyesight problems that are cute," Jaune explained. "It's the air of maturity it lends to the girl who's wearing them. It especially helps if the girl is already cute or hot even without the glasses, because then the glasses just help bring it out even more. Also, glasses make you look smart by default, and smart girls are also really attractive."

"Guys are weird," Rang said, shaking her head.

"Well, in your case, the glasses especially help," Jaune said. "Because they add a bit of contrast to your regular appearance. Like, 'Yeah, this girl is super fit and can kick your ass really easily, but she's also really smart and enjoys sitting down with some tea and a good book at the end of the day.' I don't really know how to explain it aside from that." Seeing that he was starting to lose her, he said, "Look, glasses are just cute, okay? Don't question it, just accept it."

"Oh," Rang said. "Well, that might be a problem, because I can now see just fine without them."

"What?" Jaune questioned. "I thought you needed those glasses?"

"I guess not," Rang said. She took one look at the glasses, then shrugged and tossed them away. "I used to, but not anymore. Apparently, you fucked the poor eyesight right out of me last night. No, that doesn't make sense, but I won't question it. Though I am sorry I had to end the cuteness for you."

"Rang, glasses are cute, but you don't need them to steal my heart," Jaune said, making her flush red.

"You're sweet," Rang muttered. "Anyway, I'm going to take a shower, because I smell like sweat and sex. So stop dilly-dallying and hurry up."

Jaune was surprised. "You want me to shower with you?"

"Of course I do, dummy," Rang said. "Now, come on, already. Don't be a prude – I had you inside me last night, seeing you naked is nothing compared to that."

Well, he couldn't argue with that. Instead, he threw the sheets off himself and took Rang's hand, and the two of them stepped into the bathroom, with him doing his best not to focus on just where her sudden personality change had come from.

"I take it you two had a good night?" Pyrrha asked.

"What gave that away?" Jaune asked. "Aside from the stacked blonde in my lap, of course."

Everyone was looking at him funny, and he couldn't blame them – this was the most outwardly affectionate that Rang had ever been to him. It wasn't super sexual or anything, she was just sitting in his lap and eating breakfast as she read a book, but still, this was very much out of the ordinary for her.

"So, spill the beans, already," Nora insisted. "I want the dirty details."

"We're not just going to reveal what our sex lives are like, Nora," Jaune chastised.

Rang snapped her book shut, then looked at Nora. "What do you want to know, Nora?"

Again, Jaune was surprised. "Uh, Rang? Are you feeling okay?"

"Never better," Rang insisted. "Now then, what do you want to know?"

Nora grinned widely. "Did he get you off?"

"Over and over again," Rang said, causing Jaune to choke on his carton of chocolate milk. "I'm surprised none of you heard it with how loud I was."

"Oh, we did," Weiss said. "We just lost count after the fifth or sixth highly audible orgasm."

"Seriously," Blake stated. "He must have been giving you the ride of your life, Rang."

"He was," Rang answered. "I've literally never had an orgasm until last night. I legitimately thought I was dying or something the first time he made me cum. He had to hold my hand and help me work through it and everything, then explain what had happened to me because I had only read about it in passing before then."

"That's oddly sweet," Ruby admitted. "Is there a word for when something is both incredibly cute and incredibly sexy at the same time?"

"I don't think so, but there should be," Ren said.

"Isn't it referred to as a heartboner?" Nora interjected. "You know, like the penis in your heart is erect."

"What if it's a woman?" Blake asked.

"Then it's obviously a heart ladyboner, duh."

"...Makes sense, I suppose."

"Anyway, I'm bored," Rang announced. "I think I'm gonna go buy a motorcycle and take it for a spin around town for a bit."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "Rang, what are you talking about? You hate motorcycles. Heck, you even convinced Uncle Qrow not to buy one because you were adamant in your opinion that they were nothing but steel-metal death traps. What changed?"

"I don't know, but for some reason I just really want one all of a sudden," Rang answered. "I can't really explain it. Somehow, I just feel a lot less uptight." She shook her head.

"Come on, Jaune. We're going to the motorcycle dealership."

"We are?" Jaune said, surprised. "What do you need me for? You seem like the expert on motorcycles… somehow. I don't think I can add much there."

"On the contrary," Rang said. "You can bang me in the bathroom in-between rounds of negotiating with the dealer."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Rang?" Weiss wondered. "Because yesterday you were basically afraid to even mention the word 'penis,' yet today you're talking about getting laid in a motorcycle dealership bathroom multiple times with your boyfriend. Are you well, Rang? Do you have brain damage?"

"Possibly," Rang conceded. "I think my head smacked the bedpost one time too many. I thought my aura caught it, but then again my O-face was so intense that I probably wouldn't have noticed even if my head cracked open like an egg. So I guess there's no way of knowing."

"Well, clearly something's up," Pyrrha mentioned. "Are you sure you don't want to see Beacon's therapist?"

"We have a therapist?" Weiss suddenly asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Pyrrha said. "You didn't know? They advertised it in the school's brochures."

"I didn't think people actually read those." Weiss shook her head. "Anyway, is he any good?"

"Not really, which is probably why everyone in this school seems to have some deep-seated mental problems of some kind," Pyrrha answered. "Seriously, even the kids coming from other schools have issues. It's like getting within a hundred feet of Beacon automatically makes you into a basket case of some kind."

"That's probably not far-off from the truth, actually," Nora noted. "Anyway, I'm bored. You guys wanna compare emotional scars while Jaune and Rang sex up a motorcycle dealership?"

"There's nothing about that sentence I don't love," Ruby stated. "Alright, girls… and Ren, I guess… let's earn the teen angst that comes with being a shounen rip-off."

"Yeah..." Jaune said, somewhat stunned by what was going on in front of him. "You guys do that, I guess. I'm just gonna… uh, I guess bang my girlfriend and also help her buy a motorcycle." He looked over to Rang. "We're not actually going to be riding that thing back here, are we?"

Rang just smirked, and Jaune gave a tired sigh.

He already didn't like the new Rang all that much, and it wasn't even lunch time yet.

Jaune came bursting through the dorm room, gasping for breath, his heart hammering in his chest.

"You're mad, woman..." he breathed. "I haven't seen a driver that crazy since my mother..."

Rang didn't pay him much mind, instead stepping past him into the room, her new motorcycle keys twirling on one of her fingers. "Oh, come on," she said, rolling her eyes. "You know you loved it."

"I did not-" Jaune paused when he turned around and got a good look at her. "...Are you wearing a new outfit?"

"So glad you noticed!" Rang said cheerfully. "Yup, I am. What do you think?"

He honestly wasn't sure. On the one hand, it was hot – Rang was dressed in a yellow crop top and a pair of black booty shorts, and not much else save for her boots and a pair of aviator sunglasses. She had everything on display, save for the actually explicit parts, but even then Jaune could make out the edges of a G-string poking up from the sides of her shorts, and the outline of her nipples pressing against her all-too-thin shirt. And that was before he noticed her abs, which were eye-catching enough to qualify as softcore porn on their own.

He swallowed nervously, tugging at his collar as his face flushed red and his pants suddenly started to get very tight. "When did you have the time to change into that stuff?"

"When you were screaming like a little girl with your eyes closed on the back of the bike," she said nonchalantly.

"Wait, you changed in public, while driving a motorcycle?"

"Yup." She flashed him a grin. "I've decided I like to live dangerously, and that was the most dangerous thing I could think of." Rang let out a content sigh. "I must say, there's nothing quite like feeling the rumble of your bike's engine on your pussy as you strip off your panties and hurriedly pull on a G-string in the middle of traffic… well, except for your boyfriend's cock, that is. Speaking of which, you down to fuck?"

"Again?" Jaune asked, surprised. "I mean… not that I'm not, but we just went five times back at the dealership. I'll have to be careful – any more than that and I might start shooting blood."

"You've got a lot of aura, you'll be fine," Rang said.

"Aura doesn't affect sperm production, you know," Jaune pointed out. "Sure, it affects energy levels, meaning I could technically bang again soon after the first round, but if the tank's empty, well, energy won't help me there."

"So you're not down to fuck?"

"Oh, I'm absolutely down to fuck, but if there's no juice left in the fruit, then there's not really anything you can squeeze out, is there? Give me a few hours, then I'll be down for another round."

"A few hours?" Rang said, horrified. "But… but I'm horny now..."

Jaune rubbed his head. "Uh, sorry? I don't really know what to tell you. I mean, I'd love to do it, obviously, but I'm completely dry at the moment. I imagine that getting an erection right now would actually be physically painful for me, to say nothing of what it would feel like if I actually had an orgasm right now, and you're looking at me like a piece of meat."

She was, indeed, looking at him like a piece of meat, or perhaps more a bit accurately, like how a sexy onee-chan looks at a shota in a shitty hentai. It was downright predatory, and he didn't like it.

"You know," Rang began, taking a slow step towards him. He swallowed nervously, then took a step back. "I don't need to get off using that thing between your legs. There are other ways you could do it."

"Alright, you're really sexy right now, but you're also scaring me," Jaune began. "I wonder if this is how it felt when Mom first noticed Dad..."

"You know, you're a talker, Jaune," Rang said. "I think it's about time I shut you up and put that mouth of yours to good use for a few hours."

"You know, you've really changed since the first time we had sex," Jaune noticed. "I'm not sure I like it. I kind of miss the old Rang. Think you could bring her back long enough for me to enjoy my refractory period?"

"The old Rang is dead, Jaune," Rang breathed. "She's gone, replaced by the new Rang who's absolutely addicted to you."

"...Is this what happens when you take a girl's virginity?" Jaune wondered aloud. "No wonder Dad always warned me against doing that..." He shook his head. "Anyway, Rang, I hate to do this, but I think it's time for me to take drastic measures."

Rang apparently heard enough after that, as she let out a loud shout and leaped at him. Jaune dove out of the way, quickly picking himself up in time to avoid her incoming tackle.

"Hold still, boyfriend!" Rang shouted. "I just want you to eat me out!"

"Begone, thot!" Jaune shouted. "I am banishing you to the horny dimension for the time being! You may return when your horny levels are at a tolerable level!"

Rang let out a shout of rage, and Jaune immediately bolted for the door, sprinting out into the hall while she took off after him. Jaune ran through the halls with her in hot pursuit, hoping beyond hope that nobody got in his way, but to no avail – given how big of a school Beacon was, it was inevitable.

"Cardin, watch out!" Jaune shouted as he passed Cardin in the halls.

"Huh?" Cardin said, but that was as far as he got before Rang was upon him. Soon after, the halls were full of his screaming as he was ripped to shreds by Hurricane Rang, and Jaune bowed his head as he kept running, both out of respect for a fallen sort-of homie and because he was thankful that Cardin's sacrifice had bought him a few more seconds.

But those seconds were up as soon as they arrived, and in moments, he heard Rang behind him once more. He chanced a look over his shoulder and found her running after him on all fours, foam coming out of her mouth. But worst of all were her eyes, the pupils of which had gone heart-shaped.

This was getting serious – if he didn't stop her soon, she'd fully succumb to the horny, and then there was truly no hope for any of them, least of all him.

But luckily, the library came into view as he turned a corner, and a smirk crossed his face. It was time.

He burst through the double-doors and immediately made a beeline for the history section, pulling random books off the shelf as he did and piling them into his arms. Of course, the extra weight slowed him down, and that made him easy prey for his girlfriend. Rang tackled him from behind, sending him sprawling with books flying out of his arms. Luckily, he managed to hold on to a few of them. He just hoped they would be enough.

Rang straddled him, her chest heaving with exertion. She stared down at him, then licked her lips.

"Finally..." she breathed. "Come to bed, Jaune. I'm so horny."

"No," Jaune retorted. "No, I don't think I will. Not unless you do something for me first."

Rang growled, annoyed. "What would that be?"

"Read, bitch! Read!" Jaune shouted, opening one of the history books to a random page and shoving it into her face.

Rang screeched like a banshee, recoiling and covering her face to protect herself. Jaune didn't relent, instead forcing the book closer to her face, forcing her to scramble off of him.

"It burns!" Rang shouted. "Augh, literature and knowledge! Some of thottery's only weaknesses! How did you know?!"

"Because the real Rang is the exact opposite of a thot," Jaune declared. "And I knew that the only way to un-hornify you was to bring her back. But of course, there's only one way to put an end to the horny once and for all."

He dropped the stack of books in his hands, instead reaching into his pocket for his scroll. Rang's questioning glance turned worried in an instant.

"Jaune," she said. "Stop it. You don't know what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Rang," Jaune said as he began dialing the number.

"Y-you can't!" Rang declared. "I thought you liked the new me!"

"I do, but I can see now that I'd rather have the real Rang, not the sex-crazed nymphomaniac you've become. And there's only one way I can make her come back."

"Don't!" Rang shouted, but it was too late. "Please, anything but that!"

Jaune finished dialing the number, then hit the call button. It rang exactly once before the person on the other end picked up.

"Hello?" Taiyang asked.

"Taiyang," Jaune greeted.

"Oh, hey Jaune," Taiyang replied. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Ruby isn't being a bad seed again, is she?"

"No, it's not her this time."

There was silence for a few seconds before Taiyang spoke again. "...Oh."

"Yup. She's thotting the place up just like her biological mom used to do."

"Put me on speaker."

Jaune couldn't help but wince, but did as he was told anyway. Rang shrank back before her father even had a chance to say anything, but Jaune didn't blame her at all, because things were about to get intense.

"Rang," Taiyang said sternly.

"Y-yes, Father?" Rang asked.

"I am very disappointed in you. I thought I raised you better than this."

And with that, he ended the call. Jaune exhaled sharply, thankful that the really hard part was now over, but there was still work to be done – after all, Rang looked absolutely devastated. So Jaune threw caution to the wind, pocketed his scroll, then moved over to her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I… I didn't think I was that bad to you..." Rang muttered. She looked down at herself, her eyes going wide. "Good Gods, what am I wearing?! And did I really buy a motorcycle?"

"You did," Jaune confirmed.

"T-this is…! How? What happened?!"

"You went a bit crazy."

"I did, didn't I?" She shook her head, still in shock. "I just… I don't understand… but I guess that's even more of a reason to start cleaning this mess up."

Rang pulled away from him, casting another disdainful glance down at her outfit, then shuddered. "Come on, Jaune. I believe I have a wardrobe to go through, and a bike to sell. I'm going to need your help fixing everything I broke."

"Certainly," Jaune said.

"And afterwards, we can have some fun, just the two of us."

"Just so long as you don't go crazy again," Jaune said sternly.

Rang gave him a warm smile and offered him her hand, which he took, and the two of them exited the library and began the trek back to her room.

If nothing else, at least, thot!Rang seemed to be dormant again, though Jaune could only imagine for how long.

Here's the next Wild Card, this time for Yang. Admittedly, I was at a bit of a loss as to where to take this one at first. It all came together by the end, thankfully, but still. Definitely one of the harder chapters for me to get going.

Speaking of harder chapters, I've noticed that I'm running into more of those as time goes on... probably because I'm doing characters I never thought I was going to do because I never imagined the fic actually lasting long enough for me to get to them, so I'm going in completely blind and having to basically improvise my way through the whole chapter. In the past, I generally had a very basic idea of what I wanted to do with the chapter, but now I'm going in without it. These days, at most, I'm going in with maybe a few jokes or quips lined up, and kind of just seeing where they take me.

Anyway, I've started keeping an ongoing list of possible characters I'd like to get to. I have no idea how exhaustive of a list it's going to end up being, because it's always possible that the show introduces a new character that gets my mind working overdrive. But for the time being, I'd say I've got anywhere from ten to fifteen left. I won't provide an exhaustive list at the moment, because I don't want to risk making a promise it turns out I can't keep in terms of characters, but a couple of them will probably be pretty obvious... such as the next one, which I am not looking forward to, because it grosses me out. It's that one sequel I promised all those chapters ago and never got around to - yes, that sequel. You know the one. It involves R63!Ozpin. If you recall how that chapter ended, you know what I'm talking about.

Next update: Saturday, October 30.