Chapter Thirty-Seven - Bed on Fire

The room lay still, effortlessly silent and for once; calm, unlike Henry's racing mind. He lent against the door frame, his heat tilted as a vacant expression held him, his body motionless as he gave into the ache within his bones. He had no clue just how long he had been standing there, staring into what once was their office, but is now only hers. Elizabeth could feel his presence within the room but she too had given into the aches within her core, her body lifeless as she sat staring at the computer in front of her, endlessly reading over the same line trying to get her brain to focus.

Her finger tapped at the up arrow on the keyboard as she attempted to read the document through once again. Henry started on at her, unsure of what else to do but trying to savour every moment with her. He had never felt so conflicted within his emotions before; one second he was sure they were doing the right thing, then the next he wanted to rip the papers up and demand they work it out, but he couldn't, which often lead him to reside in the fact that this is the way forward, because surely If he wanted to make it work he would fight for her and not just walk away…right?

Elizabeth slipped her glasses off and laid them on the table. Her cold hands rose to her face, rubbing firmly against her eyes as she tried to massage the tiredness out of her. This was a different kind of tiredness, not the kind where you need a good night's sleep, but the kind where your body craved peace, in whichever form it came. She sighed as she pushed the up arrow once again, re-reading the same document; their official press release announcing the divorce, the statement which defined them from tomorrow onwards. Part of her wanted to throw it away, tell Henry to stay and they would tough it out, but he asked for a divorce and she knew that was because he was hurting, and how could she continue to do that to a man she loves, she loves him so much she is letting him walk away. Because that's what's best for them…right?

'Headache?' He broke the silence pushing off his shoulder to stand up straight and walk into the room. He took a seat in the vacant chair opposite her desk, glancing behind her for a moment, noticing the spaces on the bookshelves and the dust which outlined the freshly removed books; his books.

'Constantly' she whispered and leant back into the chair, temporarily squeezing her eyes shut to block out the light relieving her of her symptoms for a few seconds.

'I didn't hear you come back, how was Camp David?' He asked and she shrugged unsure of how to even hold a normal conversation anymore.

'I haven't been back long, maybe an hour' she smiled sadly, unwilling to admit that she spent the entire time away grieving the loss of their marriage.

'Did Matt send you a copy of the Statement?' He questioned, assuming that was what she was endlessly reading tonight. Her head hardly moved as she simply nodded at him.

'Are you Happy with it?' She cleared her throat, her tired eyes glancing in his direction for a moment, but only a moment through fear she would crumble.

'I don't think Happy is the right word…' he stumbled over her choice of words and she began to twist her mouth in response, uncertainty setting in.

'You know what I mean' she whispered, every word falling heavier as the desperation in her tone weighed it down.

'It's amicable, protects the kids, doesn't paint a picture that one of us is the winning party' he rambled on trying to find any positive within such a negative piece of writing.

'Won? No one has won a thing Henry. We've both lost everything' she exasperated and he dipped his head, his hands slipping to his hair as he scratched his head, confusion sinking in deep.

'I don't think that's strictly true. As we part, I take the best of you and you take the best of me. We learned from one another and we grew. Our futures being on different paths brings me sadness, but the fact we met and loved brings me so much comfort in my memories.' He spoke, his voice hushed, almost like it had to be so delicate so the tiny fraction of what was left of them didn't shatter into a thousand more pieces.

'Yeah, we did all that just to become strangers again… so much comfort there' she quipped sarcastically. Her heartache had crippled her entire body, she didn't feel strong enough to give into the pain anymore.

'It might hurt for us to walk away Elizabeth but I don't think it will compare to the pain of staying. I couldn't sit and watch this marriage disintegrate anymore'

' I guess that's the difference between us Henry, I'd sit with that discomfort daily if it meant I still got to come home to you' she whispered into her lap. Her eyes blinked like they were crying but she couldn't cry anymore, it was as if all her tears had been shed and all that remained was a hollow shell of sadness.

'I know it's hard Elizabeth. I'm going through this just as much as you are. Things feel out of place at the moment, but that will change,' he tried to offer reassurance, although he didn't know why because he didn't believe himself in that moment. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked over to him once again, his words running through her mind.

'Most things do feel out of place these days, especially me' She spoke quietly as she looked down in her lap. Her fingers twisting at her wedding ring, a wave of sickness running through her veins as she felt the band come loose and slip up her finger slightly. Her instincts kicked in and she immediately pushed it back down, securing it on her finger, at least for now.

'Why don't you go up to bed? I'll take the couch tonight. It's going to be a tough day tomorrow' he offered and she shook her head

'No it's fine, you've had the bed all week. I need to read over this' she mumbled, tapping at the keyboard and waking the computer screen back up.

'Elizabeth stop, you're going to get sick if you keep working and not sleeping. I've seen how little you've been resting, how you're hardly eating and only running on coffee or wine. Just go and get some rest please' His voice became a little firmer as these little moments irritated him lately, the fact she was a very intelligent, capable woman but gave herself such little self care irritated him immensely.

'Henry I don't want to fight anymore, please just leave' she begged but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He walked over and slowly closed her laptop. He placed his hand in hers, the contact between them cold and harsh, unfamiliar. She pulled her hand away and looked up at him, her eyes laced with fire and anger as her words spilled out fuel with an earthy grit.

'I said no. I do not want to sleep in that bed Henry, it's our bed and there is no us anymore. I have to stand and watch you leave tomorrow, so the least you can do is show me a little mercy now and let me do what I need to do to get myself through the night.' Henry raised his hands lightly admitting defeat and stepped back giving her space.

'I…I…ok' he nodded softly and watched as the relief rushed over her. She dropped her shoulders instantly and closed her eyes. A soft pant escaped her lips as she exhaled,

'Thank you' she breathed and slowly lifted her laptop open once again and opened the document, needing to read it one more time…