Disclaimer: Dick Wolf, dominus vobiscum.

TI: Double Dog Dare

Characters: Goren, Eames, Logan, Barek, Deakins

Genre: Humor

Rating: K+

Location: Major Case Squad, One P.P.

"Oh, Logan, you are such a wuss," dismissed Carolyn Barek.

"Who you callin' a wuss, Barek?"

"Duh…that would be you, Mikey."

"How can you say that? Ain't I the one who punched that fat ass councilman in the nose?"

"Ancient history, Logan, it was ten years ago. And besides, you only hit him because you lacked anger management skills," smirked Barek, "So, ya gonna take my dare?"

"Ehhhh…."

At that moment Detectives Goren and Eames walked out of the elevators and over to Logan and Barek.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" asked Eames, "Logan, you still chicken?"

"I am not chicken, Eames!"

Eames and Barek started making clucking sounds in unison.

"Alright! Alright! I'll do it, then ….but only if Goren does it, too."

"Me? Hey! Don't suck me into this, Logan!"

Eames and Barek resumed their clucking sounds. Other staffers in the bull pen were starting to look in their direction. It wasn't often one heard clucking in the Major Case squad room.

"I think we are pretty much stuck here, Bobby boy," whispered Logan.

"Whaddya mean we, Logan?" shot back Goren.

"C'mon, Goren, ya think I wanna do this alone?"

"Well, I certainly don't want to do it."

"You're chicken?"

"Same as you," grinned Goren.

Goren noticed that Barek and Eames were enjoying this way too much. He decided to turn the tables on them.

"OK, OK" said Goren. "Logan and I will accept your dare. And we double dog dare you girls back."

"Duh….Bobby….we already did that."

"Um…oh yeah….Well, you two have to do..uhh…. something else." Goren then described the double dog dare.

"Cool idea, Bobby boy!" smirked Logan, "They'll never go for it and then we will be off the hook."

Eames and Barek stepped away to discuss the issue.

"Whaddya say, Eames? I think we should do it, just to force them to take our dare."

"I was considering this anyhow, so why the hell not?" chuckled Eames, "Only we have to make sure they go first, so they can't back out."

Eames and Barek returned to the guys.

"Double dog dare accepted, fellas," smirked Barek.

Shit! How the hell did I let Logan drag me into this?

Crap! I was positive the women would refuse.

"Ummm….OK, ladies," mumbled Logan and Goren.

"Gee, it's just about lunch time, guys. We can go do this right now," grinned Eames.

"Uh… I dunno, Eames….I still have all this…umm… paperwork on my desk….," blustered Goren.

"It'll still be there when we get back, Goren."

"Gee, Barek, I gotta go see the M.E. about that report…," stammered Logan.

"Rogers can wait," replied Barek.

Eames and Barek grabbed Goren and Logan by the arms and dragged them to the elevators and out the front doors of One Police Plaza. Goren and Logan protested all the way, but the women were having none of it.

Captain Deakins had seen the four detectives getting on the elevators. Actually, what he saw was Eames and Barek pushing Goren and Logan onto the elevators.

Well, that's gonna be an interesting lunch. Wonder what is going on? Probably better I don't know.

The four detectives walked the two blocks to the shop. The guys moaning and groaning every step of the way.

"This is worse than taking my dog to the vet's, for god's sake," commented Barek.

They finally arrived at their destination.

"Ladies first," said Goren, playing on his reputation as a gentleman.

"No dice, Goren. You and Logan are going first," snickered Eames, "Age before beauty."

The guys sat on stools next to each other. Two technicians examined them carefully, made their marks, loaded their equipment and then it was all over.

"Uh…that wasn't so bad," said Goren.

"Now it's your turn, ladies," grinned Logan, "And we get to watch."

Eames and Barek took their turn sitting on the stools. The same technicians made marks on the women, but used different equipment. It was still done quickly.

"I guess we're finished here," said Eames, "We've even got time to pick up something to eat back at the office."

The four detectives filed past Deakins on their way to their desks. He could smell the Chinese food in the takeout containers they all carried. But then something caught his eye. Deakins did a double take. He blinked. Blinked again. Walked over to Logan. Stood right next to him and just stared silently. Then he went over to Goren. Same thing. What were these two thinkin'?

"Do I dare ask what could possibly make you and Logan do this, Goren?"

"Uh…Eames and Barek….they dared us, sir."

"They dared you? Really?"

The women were just grinning.

"But we double dog dared them back, sir," explained Logan.

Jeez, when did Major Case turn into third grade?

"So, what did you ladies have to do?" inquired Deakins.

Eames and Barek were near ready to dissolve in a fit of giggles, but managed to pull themselves together.

"This is what we did, Captain."

Deakins nearly dropped when Eames and Barek both started to pull up their sweaters…. to reveal their brand new belly button rings. That was the double dare the guys had given them in return for Logan and Goren getting an ear pierced. Each man now sported a small yellow gold hoop in his left ear lobe.

"I think we look kinda cool, Captain," said Logan.

Deakins just rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure the perps will be duly impressed with the bling. As you were, detectives."

Deakins saved his snickering for when he got back into his office. Life is never dull around here. I can't wait to tell Angie about this at dinner time.

FIN.

Note: I'd like to thank the middle aged guy who was in front of me on the checkout line at the A&P this morning. He was the inspiration for this piece.