Chapter Forty-Nine - No Regrets

Have you ever counted the weeks, days, minutes even? Have you ever stopped and thought to yourself, 'Just Ten weeks'. Elizabeth had, in fact she had spent the entire day with the same two words circling her mind, ten weeks. It sounds like an awfully long time when counting down to some significant event that you're desperate to attend, or be a part of. The anticipation and excitement gets a hold of you and you just will the time away. What if it was the other way; it was the counting of the weeks in the aftermath of such events? Have you ever done that? Sat and thought to yourself 'How has it been ten weeks?' Elizabeth had done just that all evening.

Her feet curled up under her as she tucked herself up onto the couch; her body wrapped in a long house coat, her hair thrown into a messy ponytail as she sat eating a bowl of pasta trying to focus on the TV in front of her. Her mind aimlessly wandered, drifting back over the last ten weeks, the amount of time that had passed since the release of their official statement. She sighed heavily and placed her half full bowl down onto the coffee table, picking up her warm mug of coffee and pulling it closer to her, trying to find comfort within the warmth.

Neither Elizabeth or Henry had spoken to one another since they drove to retrieve Dimitri from the Russians a little over two weeks ago, and even though she felt like the last two weeks, or the ten weeks in total had dragged by, every second an agonising reminder of her new reality she also couldn't quite believe that it had been ten weeks already; she never imagined spending a day without Henry by her side; how times had changed, although if she took a moment to be honest with herself she had to admit that the pain hadn't changed, if anything with every passing second she hurt more, as with every passing second she was reminded that he really wasn't coming home.

Elizabeth was broken from her throughs with the sound of the front door opening; she grinned as she spotted Stevie and Jareth walk into the lounge together.

'Hello you two' She spoke with genuine happiness, thankful to have some company within the home.

'Hey Mom, something smells good' Stevie inhaled

'Oh, that's just some pasta that Blake got me for lunch which I didn't finish. I'm done, have it if you like' She offered but Stevie declined

``We've just eaten thanks, Mom Jareth and I have something we want to tell you.' She slipped her hand into Jareths and grinned anxiously towards her mother. Elizabeth watched the young couple before her. She reached for the remote control and clicked the TV off before turning back towards them.

'Ok' she lingered on her words as she attempted to read their body language. Stevie turned in to Jareth and nodded, both of them grinning as they looked on excitedly at Elizabeth.

'WE'RE ENGAGED!" They shouted happily together, Jareth lifting their entwined hands showing Elizabeth the ring on her finger.

'OH WOW!' She jumped to her feet happily, rushing over to envelope them both in a hold, kissing their cheeks repeatability and congratulating them. 'Oh Stevie' she gushed as she took hold of her daughters hands, pulling her back in for another hold.

'Congratulations both, I am so pleased for you' She smiled as tears filled her eyes

'Mom! Don't cry!' Stevie chuckled

'No, I won't. I am just so happy.' She grinned and swallowed her emotions as she looked at them both.

'I want to hear all about this but I don't want to take from your evening. Have you told your sister? Or Jase, Dad?'

'Well, actually Jareth is going to head out in a bit and tell his friends, arrange us a flight to London hopefully this weekend so we can tell his family in person, whilst he is doing that I am going to tell Ali and Jason, but I have already spoken to dad' Stevie stumbled over the last words, not sure how the information would be received.

'Oh, oh well that's good. I bet he was pleased' She tried to mask her pain at the thought of her daughter not coming to her first but her voice was thick with disappointment.

'Madam Secretary I am so sorry, it was my fault.I went to him to ask for Stevie's hand in marriage and mentioned it was happening tonight, so he was waiting for the call' Jareth tried to rectify the situation, a thankful smile from Stevie as they both looked over to Elizabeth.

'Oh no it's fine really, it's sweet that you asked him.' She nodded, the understanding of the situation making the news slightly easier to swallow but not entirely. 'I am so happy for you both, let me know about London. If you struggle for flights, maybe I can help,' she offered with a small chuckle. 'I am going to call it a night as I had a pretty busy day, Congratulations again' she pulled them both in and kissed Stevie on the cheek once again before slowly going upstairs to her bedroom.

'I knew she would be hurt' Stevie sighed

'I don't think she is hurt that you're getting married, but maybe that they didn't work? Don't take it personally, I don't think her reaction has anything to do with us, or you' Jareth offered, he slowly slipped his hand into Stevie's and held it tight.

'Yeah you are right, should I go and speak to her?' She chewed at her lip, looking to her fiancé for support.

'I think you might benefit from that, go. I'll head home and if you want to come back you are more than welcome, but if you decide to stay here I totally understand. I'll sort our flights out for the weekend and I'll text you' He smiled, leaning down and kissing her softly.

'Thank you' she whispered, walking him to the door and waving him goodbye before turning on her heels and going to locate her mother. Stevie knocked on her bedroom door and waited patiently to hear her mothers voice.

'Come in'

'Hey Mom, me again' she answered sheepishly as she stepped into what once was her parents bedroom.

'Everything ok?' Elizabeth asked. She was sitting upright in bed, documents at her side and glasses perched on her nose as she watched her daughter walk into her sanctuary.

'Yeah, I just came to check on you.'

'Oh darling I am fine. I am happy for you, really' She confirmed

'I am sorry that I told dad before you, I should have thought-'

'Stevie, had you told me before your father then I am sure he would be upset, you were never going to win that situation and it's unfair of me to put that on you. It was just a small reminder that your father and I don't get to hear about these things together anymore, but it's ok.' She reassured her daughter. A smile formed on her lips as her eldest took a seat next to her on the bed.

'I had no idea this was coming' She giggled and Elizabeth took her hand, admiring her ring once again.

'It's beautiful, you're beautiful Stephanie McCord' she whispered

'Oh wow, you used my full name' Stevie mocked and Elizabeth playfully nudged her. 'Do you think I could borrow Blake to help me plan the wedding?' Stevie teased and Elizabeth rolled her eyes

'Not if your father and I are paying for the wedding! Blake has very expensive taste' she laughed, Stevie falling into her side as she laughed along with her mother. Elizabeth slipped an arm around her daughter, pulling her in close as she rested her head on top of Stevie's.

'It makes me nervous' Stevie whispered

'What does?'

'Getting married, what if it doesn't work'

'Oh darling, you cannot think like that' Elizabeth sighed heavily, she pulled back and looked down at her daughter 'Do you really think that?'

'No, but I thought you and dad were forever, you two were the last two people I ever pictured getting divorced and now that's… look at you both now, I love Jareth so much, but what if we fail, I've seen how sad you are and I don't think I can go through that' She confessed, her eyes tearing as she looked to her mother. 'What if I regret it?'

'Do you think I regret marrying your father?' She questioned and watched as Stevie nodded, a confused look on her face.

'Don't you? I mean if you had known it would end like this wouldn't you have rather have walked away?'

'No, god no, I don't regret a thing about our lives together' Elizabeth gushed. 'Stevie, please don't live your life in fear of what if's and maybes. Our lives are better left to chance. Had I not married your father I wouldn't have had you for a start, nor your sister, or brother, the perfect combination of us both, having our little team was everything. I am glad I didn't know back then how it all ended because yes, it would have made me want to run and say no but look at everything i'd have missed. I could have avoided all of this pain, but i'd have had to miss every single moment where I felt so in love, so alive and happy, all because of your father. I would never change that.' Elizabeth spoke softly, her heart taking over as she recalled the events of happier times with her husband. Elizabeth used her thumb to wipe a tear from her daughters face, smiling gently at her.

'I guess, I just never thought I'd see you two guys divorce. I wish you weren't'

'I think there is a lot that you kids don't know about. Our marriage is between us; you see us as parents but there are so many details woven within our marriage that are not yours to know. So the image you get of your stable parents, is one we created for you all, and we still are; your father and I will always be united in parenthood' She reassured her. Stevie nodded, slowly sitting up on the bed and taking a deep breath.

'Thanks Mom, you always know what to say, even when I know you're struggling' She half giggled and half sighed as she wiped her eyes. Elizabeth wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

'It comes with being a mother Stevie, and a wife, you just learn how to manage your own emotions below the surface, because there are more important people that need you' she offered. 'Go and spend your engagement night with your fiancé, not here with your mother' she laughed and began to usher her out of the room.

'Ok, Ok I'm going, please eat, I notice that bowl of pasta was practically full, and hugging you I can feel your ribs, you're not looking after yourself and I need you too, you've got to be looking good for my wedding' She teased with a hint of seriousness in her voice as she glanced at her mother.

'I'm fine, go' Elizabeth playfully dismissed her. She sunk back into the bed a little more, her mind thinking over all the shared times with Henry, what an adventure they had. Within their first ten weeks of knowing one another they'd said they loved each other, had discussed buying a house, getting married, wanting children. In just ten weeks…It goes to show how much can change in ten weeks; for better or worse.

She pulled her notepad up onto her lap, holding a pen within her grasp she teased at the idea of writing a letter, her mind plagued with questions of 'where did we go wrong' and 'are we doing the right thing'. She twisted the pen within her mouth before giving into her craving, the black ink spilling onto the page as she wrote a letter.

'Dear Henry,'

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