Chapter Fifty - Three - Almost

Elizabeth's mind was a haze; it had been four days since she had spoken to Henry. The remanence of her letter haunting her, the fact that he had read it? Even worse. She tilted her head to look out the window; watching as they passed car after car, her motorcade flying at top speed just to get there; to be there.

Her hands interlocked as she fiddled with her fingers, attempting to push out any anxieties that were rising through them. Her subconscious mind willing her to think of anything else but she couldn't, she was consumed by the thoughts which led to the fate of her next journey…

Earlier that day…

'Im just saying it's such a stupid request' Jay mocked Matt

'What is?' Elizabeth asked as she walked into her staff meeting room, interrupting their idle chat.

'Ma'am, there was this thing I saw on TV last night and it was talking about our use of language and words, how they mean different things to everyone. One of the questions they asked was 'what do you think is the saddest word in the world?' Matt asked and Jay shook his head as Elizabeth looked up over her glasses, a genuine look of concern for her staff member.

'I know, I said it's a stupid ask' Jay scoffed

'Yeah but it's harder than you think-'

'No chocolate' Elizabeth teased

'Thats two words' Matt mocked and she rolled her eyes

'Jay's right it's stupid' she quipped

'Madam Secretary, sorry to interrupt'. Blake pushed through the doors, a concerned expression all over his face, something which caught every aspect of Elizabeth's attention

'Blake what do you think the sad-'

'What is it?' Elizabeth cut across Matt, her hand displayed out in front of him silencing him.

'Stevie just called, Henry's father has just passed away, she's on her way down to Pittsburgh with Jareth now.' His tone lowered as he spoke. Her heart lifted up into her mouth as her stomach dropped. Her hand cupped her mouth instantly as she tried to absorb the shock.

'We've got it covered here Ma'am, go' Jay smiled softly, his words capturing her. She glanced at his soft smile. She slowly nodded and ran her fingers through her hair as she stepped out of the room and towards her office, collecting her things and dropping everything to head to Pittsburgh…

As her motorcade pulled to a stop outside Henry's fathers home she was greeted by her sister in law and brother in law. Her gaze frantically searched for her kids and her husband.

'Elizabeth Hey'

'Maureen, Shane Hi. I'm so sorry' she whispered as she pulled each of them into her embrace.

'The kids are inside' Shane spoke, Elizabeth nodded and looked awkwardly between them both, wanting to head inside but not wanting to be rude.

'Go on, we're waiting for Dad's sister' Maureen gently rubbed Elizabeth's arm as the women exchanged soft smiles. Elizabeth walked into the house and instantly rushed to her children. All three of them fell into her embrace, her arms gripping them tightly as they all processed their grief of their grandfather.

'I'm here, shh' She soothed.

'I can't believe he's gone' Alison sobbed. Elizabeth leant over to her, kissing her head lovingly as she held them all a little longer.

'You ok Jase?' She asked, fighting her own tears.

'Yeah I think' he mumbled.

'Stevie?'

'I'm ok Mom' she smiled, her hand slipping around Jareth's waist, a small smile fell on Elizabeth's lips as she silently thanked him for being there for her daughter.

'Noodle?' She peeled her youngest daughter off her shoulder and looked into her watery eyes. Alison shook her head, fresh tears falling as she tried to process the loss of her grandfather.

'Come here baby' Elizabeth pulled her back in, gently rubbing her back as she cried into her.

'Dad won't come down' Jason broke through the silence. Elizabeth's gaze seeking further clarification

'It's true, He's been up there since he arrived nearly two hours ago' Erin cut through as she walked in from the kitchen.

'Oh Erin, I'm so sorry' Elizabeth gently let go of Alison and walked to greet her sister in law, enveloping her into her embrace.

'He needs you,' Erin whispered into their hold. Elizabeth stepped back and nodded softly, her eyes walking towards the children and back to Erin.

'I've got them, go and check him for me please' She asked tearfully, which Elizabeth didn't hesitate to accept. Her legs carried her cautiously to the stairs, taking one step at a time as she went in search of Henry.

She knocked on his old bedroom door, wrapping her hand around the handle as she pushed it open, revealing Henry stood in the middle of the room, his back to the door as he sniffled, his shaky breaths filling the room.

'Leave me alone please' he whispered heartbreakingly.

'Oh Henry' she gasped, the sound of his voice breaking her as she inhaled deeply trying to control her own emotions. As the softness of his names filtered through his barriers he turned to face her. His lips trembling instantly, his hands shaking and his cries breaking out. The sight of her tore through his wall; he crumbled. She instantly reached forward, her hands grabbing him and pulling him in for a hold. His head burying deep in the crevice of her neck as she ran her hand up and down his back.

'I'm so sorry. Shhh, it's ok, I'm here. Shhh' Elizabeth soothed, her body absorbing his grief as he cried into her. His cries ripped her apart, the sobs of a grown man grieving more things than his father deafened her.

'It's ok Henry, shhh' she continued to soothe him. After a few moments Henry pulled back slightly, Elizabeth's hand running from his back, up his arm and to his cheek bone, the gentle wipe of the tears forcing more to fill his eyes.

'Thank you' he whispered but she shook her head, their bodies still close, her hands on him, his on hers. She glanced up and looked at him, thankfulness spilling from his eyes. Henry locked his gaze onto hers, his head gravitating towards hers, hers to his. Their lips gently brushing together, pausing for a moment, before pushing further tougher, a reconnection of the sweetest taste.

Henry's body relaxed into the kiss, the taste of her offering him some familiarity in these unfamiliar times. His hands slipped up to her waist, holding her firmly as the kiss began to grow in passion. Elizabeth's hands wrapped in his hair, pulling him closer, comforting him and her. She pulled back a little and pressed her lips together, awkwardly glancing at him before dipping her gaze to their feet.

'We shouldn't have done that' she whispered. Henry slowly let go of her, his hands dropping to his side as he stepped away from her close proximity.

'Sorry' he cleared his throat

'It wasn't you, I just don't want to take advantage of you at such a confusing time' she smiled softly. Henry slipped his hands into his pocket and rocked on his feet as he exhaled.

'I appreciate that,' he whispered. An awkward silence fell between them as they both pressed their lips together, savouring the taste of one another. 'Thanks for urm, thanks for coming' he smiled

'I'll always show up for you and the kids Henry' her gentle words escaped her lips. Her gaze fell softer as she smiled up at him. 'Take five, then come and join us downstairs?' She offered, her hand reaching out and softly rubbing his arm.

'Yeah, I will.' He slipped his hand out of his pocket and caught Elizabeth's, squeezing it reassuringly before letting her slip through his fingers, watching as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Elizabeth stood outside for a moment and pressed her fingers to her lips, holding the reminder of him close to her. She closed her eyes for a moment, her head swimming in the disorientation of the day. She pushed off her feet and began to walk back down the stairs.

'Almost' she whispered to herself very quietly, that is the saddest word she thought.

In that moment she was almost back in his arms where she knew she wanted to be, almost forgot they were getting a divorce, Almost felt the butterflies return, Almost believed he wanted her, almost stayed to kiss him more, they almost made it, but only, almost.