Pandora's Box
Summary: In love and death, in tragedy and in sorrow. A letter is sent to a young Gryffindor, speaking of her lover's death.
A/N: I was in a sad mood when I wrote this, and still am. For now I will grieve silently.
The song used in this is 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash. Please listen to the song as you read this.
Review please.
She held her nose up, as she intently studied the words seeping through the pages of the letter. She considered the words etched in ink running down the page, her tears refusing to stain the parchment; she left that to the rain. The cold bench wasn't much more comforting to her than the continuous rainfall, nor was this letter. Mere moments ago the sun shone proudly, beaming down, sweltering the flowers, bringing beads of sweat to pour down her face, now darkened clouds filled the once blue sky, tears from heaven washing happiness away.
She didn't understand. Lately nothing made sense. But this, this made everything hazy, indistinct and unrecognizable. She couldn't think her own thoughts, speak her own words, and for once she just couldn't make sense of theses feelings, or words.
I
hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
The black ink mentioned death, tragedy and unspeakable things. But still, these simple and precise words explained nothing, and still, though she made no sense of this, it still hurt.
I
focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
It felt easier for her to not understand, then to read through it, between the fine lines and realize that her best friend, soul mate, and most importantly her lover... was dead.
The
needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
She ripped the soaking letter in two, tearing it even tinier, even smaller making sure she could never read it again, never repair it and feel these feelings again. Slowly she pushed herself off the bench, eyes wide open, disbelief stirring slowly her body. She wore a black cloak; it hung on her body, clinging to her tightly, her hair clinging to her body.
What
have I become
my sweetest friend
No matter how hard she tried to shove the words of the letter to the back of her mind, she still saw them, their meaning piercing her heart, bleeding her soul. She fell to her knees, never feeling more alone in this world, never desolate or closed up. She kicked and screamed inside, and cried tears of mourning, but her body wouldn't function on the outside, it wouldn't let her cry, it wouldn't let her scream...
Everyone
I know goes away
In the end
And
you could have it all
My empire of dirt
He let her down; he made her fall to her knees and cry inside.
I will let you down
He made her hurt inside, all her happy thoughts drowning in sorrow, her heart slowly tearing apart.
I will make you hurt
She fell to the grassy ground, soaking in it even further, wallowing in thoughts of death, the words of the letter, the sentences and paragraphs repeating in her mind. Her heart thumping madly, every beat making her feel as though any minute it would rip through her chest, and the feelings she felt would pour into the world, like Pandora's Box. But she felt like instead of hope finding it's way through all the sorrow, misery and other misfortunes of Pandora's Box she would forever live these feelings... be these feelings. So she'd lie to herself, pretend it didn't hurt...
I
wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
To no avail, her soul still poured trough her veins. She was losing herself, so quickly.
Full
of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
The letter made sense now, it's word penetrating her mind, she analyzed it in her mind, rereading it mentally. She tried to hold herself together, to make it try and hurt less.
You
are someone else
I am still right here
She missed him, hated him and resented him all at once, her head spinning with memories. How it hurt... oh so badly.
What
have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
His end came too soon, and she decided, as she stood there solemnly outside, bleeding inside, her end would come soon as well. She let her feet do the work, she made her feet climb the flight of stairs, and leave each one behind, these were her last moments.
This seemed to be the only good thing left in Hogwarts, the high towers, the towers nobody ever came to see. It was perfect; if ever she had a thought of this... inevitably suicide... she dreamt it to happen here, where she could die in peace... sweet peace. She stood on the ledge of the tower, looking at the place where she cried inside. It was a graveyard, a small secret hidden in the courtyard of Hogwarts. It had an old fashioned bench made of stone, and a stone bird bath, it only had ten gravestones and the most brilliantly green grass. It had a black fence surrounding its circular shape, the fence being an old fashioned spiked one. It was her thinking spot; she used it when she was upset. It was comforting to see it from afar, her last look at that peaceful place...
Here she stood, one-hundred feet above ground...
I will let you down
She smiled to herself one last time, happy to know she'd see him once more.
The hurt would finally go away.
I will make you hurt
0o0o0
His eyes rested on her shivering body, he wished she'd climb down, think about what she was doing. He knew she'd read a letter, but what it said was unknown to him.
She didn't know that the graveyard was his thinking spot as well. He had come to think about his duties as Lucius's son, the son of a death eater. He hadn't wanted to join him... but he had to.
He saw her open the letter with care, making sure she didn't rip one corner. He saw her tremble as she opened the folded letter.
He saw her reaction.
0o0o0
Her slender fingers traced the design on the support beam, made of pure stone. He body was ready to jump, read to end this life... this hurt. She bent her knees as if to jump.
0o0o0
He couldn't watch this... he couldn't watch her kill herself.
0o0o0
She threw herself off the building...
0o0o0
He flew forward, grabbing her body...
0o0o0
...was as soon as she felt strong arms grasp her tiny hips and pull her from the edge.
0o0o0
...he held her in his arms
0o0o0
...tears escaped her brown eyes, she cried in his arms, banging her fists against his chest...
0o0o0
he held her close to him...
0o0o0
If
I could start again
A million miles away
She thanked the Gods that Draco saved her. And even though she couldn't join her lover, she was happy to be alive. But... it still hurt.
The remaining pieces of the devastating letter, the letter that almost drove a young woman to death, to her last devastating resort, repaired itself; it's crumpled rain sodden pieces slowly re-assembling.
No wand magic caused this, but the power of love, the absolute magic love carries caused this.
I
would keep myself
I would find a way
The letter read:
Our dearest Hermione,
The battle was a rough one, we haven't won yet, but we strongly believe that in time, we shall prevail over all that is evil. We cannot disclose our location, for the danger that it might be read by our enemy.
Now, I must share with you the utmost devastating news... Ronald is dead. It's horrible that I must tell you this in a letter, truly. He died battling a livid Lucius. Avada Kedavra killed him. But I assure you Hermione, he died not in vein, he died nobly.
He loved you like no other, and he gave his life in the sheer attempt that you might lead a happy life. I truly miss him, a thousand tears I have cried for my dear brother...
But I'm sure even in death, he would wish you not to cry, but to rejoice in the memory of his existence. Remember him for what he was, and not what he was not.
Our thoughts are with you, as we know yours are with us. Everyone else here is in good health, we just hope that someday we can join you back there, at Hogwarts. At first I hadn't a clue why Ronald wouldn't allow you to join us, but now I know.
You're pregnant Hermione... it's wonderful; the greatest knew we have gotten yet. Ronald did the right thing... not letting you come is what I mean by this.
Harry says hello, as does the rest of the order. I promise you, as your best friend, and as Ginny, the aunt of your child that when I see you again, we will grieve together, we will remember Ronald and all he did.
Hermione, hang in there... know that we love you... and that Ronald loves you. In this time of pain he is with you in your heart, in all of our hearts.
I'm sure Dumbledore will take care of him, as will Sirius.
Rest well, and know that the next letter I shall send with hopefully be speaking of our long awaited return and triumph over evil.
In love and grief,
Ginny Weasley.