Chapter Seventy Four - Coin-toss

Her tired body almost limped through the door, her legs bowing under the weight of her fragile frame as started to carry herself towards the kitchen in search of a drink. She slipped her coat off and threw it over the back of the sofa as she passed it, glancing down at her watch as she walked into the kitchen. 2am. She let out a long puff of air, her mind revealing in the tranquility of her home as she reached for a glass and filled it with water.

'You're back late' Henry commented from the dining room table. Elizabeth jumped out of her skin as he spoke, completely unaware he was still up and in the same room. Some of the water spilled over onto her sleeve, she muttered under her breath as she shook her hand trying to rid the residue.

'What are you doing awake?' She sighed, placing her glass on the island as she ran her hand through her hair, her tired mind struggling to maintain her calming filters.

'I slept loads at the hospital, and I was waiting for you' he lied, a hit of annoyance in his tone

'Sorry, If I'd known I'd have made an effort to come home sooner' she dismissed him, unable to even entertain a discussion with him about her being home late from work, after all it was a conversation they had already had a thousand times.

'Where have you been?' He asked, attempting to calm the tension

'White House and the State department, trying to resolve this dirty bomb situation' she leant onto the surface and buried her hands in her head, her body aching with every minute longer she stayed awake.

'If you have a headache maybe take something, just water won't help' he offered, but every time he spoke Henry noticed that her body tensed, that his commentary was simply annoying her. Elizabeth sighed and took a deep breath, trying not to take her own frustrations out on Henry, but it was proving difficult

'I did before I left State, I just needed a drink. I haven't had much time to stop today' she lifted the glass and took a gulp, her mind sinfully telling her it was wine.

'Have you even eaten today?' He questioned, 'Probably not' he continued. Elizabeth slammed the glass down on the counter and snapped her head in his direction.

'Don't lecture me in my house, especially after you literally ran into a building with a bomb today Henry' she snapped, anger fuelling every word that left her lips.

'I'm just trying to look out for you Elizabeth-'

'Well don't! I've been looking out for myself for the last few months, I can do it on my own,' she continued, swapping the glass from the counter and pouring the contents down the sink and throwing the glass down into it with anger.

Silence.

Henry watched her shaking his head in disbelief, he would never understand why she had to push people away, why did she think it was easier to live this life alone? He pushed the chair back and slowly rose to his feet, cautiously turning to the stairs as he tried to climb them.

'You might be able to do it alone Elizabeth, but the point is you don't have to' he huffed as he pulled his aching body up the steps. Elizabeth couldn't stand to watch him. She sighed and admitted defeat as she walked over to him, slipping an arm around his waist and walking at his side silently, helping him to the guest bedroom.

She lowered him onto the bed, her hands holding his arms as she supported his fatigued state.

'Swing your legs around' the soft tones of her voice soothing his aching muscles. Henry didn't move, instead he positioned himself up right and placed a firm but loving hand on her arm.

'Stop' he whispered, his voice, caring and nurturing 'You're just as tired as me' he pointed out. She pressed her lips together and held his gaze for a second, he was right, she didn't even know how she was still standing. She let go of him softly, lingering her fingers as long as possible, unsure of when she was going to be able to touch him again.

'Come on, lay down. Can I get you anything?' She offered and he shook his head, slipping under the cover and settling his head down on the pillow. His eyes widened, suddenly appearing more awake than sleepy, something which didn't go unnoticed by Elizabeth. She watched as he wriggled into a comfy position, his eyes never blinking. She sighed sadly and took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

'It's ok Henry' she soothed, 'Close your eyes' hushed tones escaped her lips as she tried to settle him. Henry looked down away from her, ashamed that his actions had become so apparent to her.

'I'm here, I'm right here' she edged forward in her seat and slipped her hand into her hair, gently stroking it to soothe his racing mind. 'And if you have a nightmare, I'll still be right here' she continued, her fingers stroking tentatively. Henry shifted and outstretched his hand, trying to reach her free one. Elizabeth cautiously wrapped her hand in his, the other continuing to run through his hair. He gripped her hand with a firm squeeze before pulling it to his lips, greeting her skin with a kiss as delicate as the relationship.

'Get some sleep babe' her gentle tones echoed in the room, the slip of the tongue showing both of them that the guard around her heart had started to crumble.

Once Henry had drifted to sleep Elizabeth pulled her hand free from his grip and slipped the other front his hair. She stood and reached for a throw for herself before settling back down on the chair. She slipped her shoes off and tucked her feet up under her before dragging the throw over her body.

With heavy eyes she looked over Henry in his sleeping form, endlessly spinning an alternative ending to today's events in her head. This could have been an empty bed. Her eyes began to water and her heart felt as heavy as her body as she tried to muddle through her thoughts, his fate after the bombing felt like a toss of a coin, it really could have landed on either side, there was no method to his survival, just sheer luck. How can something so important be left to chance?

She sighed heavily, every time she felt that she had gained some clarity on their situation, that she was doing just fine, moving on and starting to live her life, she would lose composure and remember. Remember that she still loved him too, if only it were that simple she thought, determined to squash those feelings, the waters were too muddy to act on them. And that was the issue, right there, much like two sides of a coin, they were forged together and always would be, nothing would change that, but they were never facing the same direction.