An: Thanks again for all the reviews! I know you're all going to hate me for the push/pull relationship but I also know you'd hate me if I made everything ok within 1 chapter! (Maybe, ha)

Enjoy...

Chapter Seventy Six - Too Good at Goodbyes

Two days later…

Henry was sitting in the guest bedroom, his legs hanging over the bed as he stared into space. His head hurt as his thoughts relentlessly spun around and around, refusing to let him grasp a second of peace. His head hung low, his eyes fixed at his feet as he played endless moments with Elizabeth over and over in his head, continuously questioning where they went wrong, and how did he reach a point of messing this up so badly.

With a heavy sigh he allowed his thoughts to wander to his more recent mistakes, in particular Charlotte. He knew he needed a moment alone with Elizabeth to explain everything to her, but trying to get close enough seemed impossible, he had ruined the pathway to her heart. Why was I so stupid he sighed heavily once again, his hand rubbing his temples as his headache increased intensity, for he couldn't find any reasonable excuse, there was no reason for him to hurt Elizabeth so much and that is why he feared talking to her.

He was broken from his thoughts by a knock at the bedroom door, before he could come up for air and respond the door was pushed open, his core shocked as he watched Elizabeth walk in with a cautious smile.

'Hey' she almost whispered, her voice running away with her nerves

'Hi, I didn't expect you back this early' he glanced at the clock on the bedside table and furrowed his brow as it wasn't even seven o'clock. 'Is everything ok? Are you ok?' He asked, his mind walking back to a few nights ago.

'Yeah, yeah fine, I just-' she paused and gnawed at her lip. She walked a little further into the room and sat on the chair that she once slept in. With a sharp inhale of air, and a tiny bit of dutch courage drank at the office she looked at him directly in the eyes 'I think we need to talk' her body shivered as her nerves crept upon her.

'Ok' he prolonged his words. He shifted back onto the bed a little and turned to give her his full attention.

'First of all, I don't want to argue Henry, I don't have the energy, physically or mentally to argue with you, I think you made some of your points very clear the other night-'

'Elizabeth I was scared, I was worried about you' he interrupted

'Perhaps, but I think you and I have both learnt the hard way that once things are said they cannot be unheard' her voice shaking slightly as she kept her composure, her mind flashing back to the moment they were both referring too…

Two nights ago…

'You expect me to just watch you like this and not help?' He snapped 'You're almost going into another panic attack Elizabeth!'

'So stop shouting at me then!' She panted, her chest getting tighter and tighter as her airways felt like they were about to close. Her heart pounded against her chest fast and faster as the air around her began to get thin. She grabbed her chest, almost trying to rip it open to breathe again.

'Elizabeth?' Henry stepped forward but there was no response, her eyes were glazed over and she continued to hyperventilate, before he knew it her eyes were rolling to the back of her head as her oxygen supply became low. She gripped at her desk as her feet gave way. Henry rushed her to her side and caught her as she collapsed into his arms.

Henry slowly lowered her to the floor, repeatedly calling her name whilst trying to keep calm himself. He leant down and noticed that she was breathing, a wave of relief rushed through his body as he gently held her close until she started to come around minutes later.

'Elizabeth?' He called, watching her eyes flicker open. Her hand instantly reached up and rubbed her head as she squinted her eyes.

'What happened?' She coughed as she spoke, the air tickling at her throat. She slowly tried to sit up, Henry placed a hand on her back and carefully helped her into an upright position, both of them sat on the floor.

'You collapsed after a panic attack' he informed her, his tone soft but his gaze was a warning to her. She groaned in frustration and held onto the desk trying to stand up. Henry shaking his head watching her soldier on once again. He pulled himself up and went to reach for his phone.

'What are you doing?' She quizzed

'Texting Matt, you need to be checked over' he explained

'No Thank you' she dismissed him, her tone firm.

'Excuse me?'

'I am fine-'

'Because I caught you' he argued

'If you hadn't started at me I wouldn't have panicked!' She snapped, her embarrassment fuelling her words. Henry pressed his lips together and shook his head disappointed by her actions.

'Fine, that's ok, I'll take the blame for it, but this isn't all me' he pointed to her and she rolled her eyes at him. 'You can push it away all you want Elizabeth but this is not all down to me. You are showing sign of depression, post traumatic stress, overworked, burnt-out-'

'Here we go again' she sighed

'Yes! Yes, here we go again because you never listen!' His anger piqued as she played with fire, dancing around the truth of her own health. 'This tough girl act is pathetic Elizaebth' he snarled. Her arms snapped down at her sides and her nostrils flared as she looked at him.

'Don't-'

'No you stop. I should never have stayed,' he huffed, his head torn between anger and guilt as he looked at her helpless frame.

'What?'

'I shouldn't have stayed Elizabeth, my being here is doing more harm than good. Elizabeth by me even so much as raising my voice a little at you has caused you to have a panic attack and pass out. I cannot stand here and watch you refuse medical treatment and continue to refuse to acknowledge the other stressors in your life' he explains, his heart heavy and his words full of sorrow as he tried to keep calm

'I am not going to the hospital Henry, between Iran, Geneva, and the Explosion. I've had enough of them, I can't look at another one' she panted, her chest tightening once again. 'Please, I can't-' she couldn't finish her sentence as she stopped to gasp for some air. Henry slammed the phone down in anger, his feet carrying him to her side.

'This isn't healthy' he whispered, his hand cautiously placed itself on her back, slowly rubbing in circular motions to soothe her. This time she accepted the help, she reached out and grabbed his arm, closing her eyes as she leant on her anchor for a moment.

'I'm sorry' she whispered. 'Please stay' her eyes opened and locked on his. 'Please Henry' he stood and stared at her, completely bewildered by her actions.

'Ok, but If anything like this happens again I am taking you to the hospital' he warned and she nodded quickly.

'Come here' he opened his arms and pulled her in close.

* * *

'I need to be honest with you Henry' she paused again. 'I-'

'I need to leave' he admitted defeat, already understanding by the look on her face and the sorrow in her eyes where this was going. Her mouth fell open to speak but Henry lifted his hand softly, shaking his head.

'It's ok, I've been thinking about it myself. I think I am damaging you even more by being here and that is the last thing I want to do Elizabeth' he spoke with a hurting heart.

'I just feel far too much pressure, I was getting anxious about being home on time and I, I am struggling and I don't know what to do' she confessed, her head dipping with the weight of her sorrow.

'I'm sorry for being part of that struggle' he sighed

'I need to sort my head out Henry, I can't do that whilst you're here, I'm sorry I've let you down, I'm just so tired of all the trying Henry, It's making me feel like I've lost my mind, I can't think straight, I am on autopilot and I need to come home and feel like I can breathe. I don't want to come home and attack you and fight with you, that's what got us where we are now in the first place' she poured her heart out to him

'I know, I'm sorry it has to be this way'

'I know that you love me Henry-' she paused, stopping him from interrupting her, she couldn't hear his confessions of love anymore. '- and I love you, oh babe, I love you so much but I am scared, if we continue this push pull relationship we have then we will never make it out alive, I certainly won't. So, if you love me like you say you do, I need you to let me go, I need to breathe' she let out a shaky exhale, willing herself not to break down once again, for she knew Henry would join her and she couldn't handle watching him fall apart because of her again.

'I never should have asked for a divorce' he sniffled trying to suppress his emotions.

'But you did, and you need to accept that, just as I have to accept it, and Charlotte' she raised her eyebrows, her mind not filtering out everything.

'She was a mistake that I-'

'I don't want to know Henry. Her presence tells me that I hurt you, and I don't need to know anything more than that.'

'I guess I should tell the kids we're heading back. I'll tell them that I am ready to go' he offered but she shook her head

'You gather yourself and I'll go tell them the truth, they deserve the truth' she rose to her feet. Smiling sadly as she turned to leave the room.

'You didn't let me down, you never could' he called out, she turned to look at him over her shoulder, another sorrow drawn smile fallen on her lips.

'I did Henry, and you need to be honest about that' she sighed heavily as she exited the room leaving Henry alone.

He dipped his head and inhaled deeply, how was it that at the moment where they were breaking apart once again she seemed to have gained an understanding, almost as if she was starting to make peace with it all, and all he could see was a lonely future.