Chapter Seventy Seven - They say time is a healer
Sixteen days later
'Good Afternoon Madam Secretary, Here is your lunch, and Russell sent these documents over, he asked if you could sign them and return them as soon as possible' Blake smiled as he walked into her office. He placed the plate of food in front of her and the documents to the side. 'Might I suggest eating before signing' he winked playfully and she giggled softly.
'Thanks Blake' she smiled, 'Whilst you're here, Could you do something for me? Discreetly if you could?' She bit her lip nervously.
'Of Course Ma'am, How can I help?' He asked, standing at attention
'Could you contact Dr Sherman please? I am ready to get back in contact with her, but I would like a regular appointment. Could you maybe block some time in my diary so I am always free to see her?' She asked quietly
'Of Course Ma'am, I'll make contact with her by the end of the day. I'll be sure to block out some time for 'administrative work' so no one disrupts you during these times' he smiled and her heart soared, once again he had her best interests at heart.
'Thank you Blake, I'll be sure to tell Russell and POTUS this time, so you know, they don't integrate you for my whereabouts, unless there is a crisis' she huffed
'The world only has to behave for an hour once a week, can't be too hard right?' he joked, causing Elizabeth to stifle a giggle.
'Welcome to government work' she mocked. 'Thanks Blake'
'Not a problem Ma'am'
'No, I mean it, Thank you, for everything. These last seven, nearly eight months of divorce proceedings have been incredibly difficult, they've been challenging times on so many different levels and you have never faltered at my side, you've been more than a colleague to me when I've needed it. I am really grateful for you Blake' she smiled softly, her eyes filled with sincerity as she looked at him. 'That includes sneaking me in fries for lunch to fatten me back up' she teased.
Blake stood in silence blushing a little, he straightened his jacket and smiled graciously back at her. 'It's good to see you smile again Ma'am' He commented, leaving her alone in the office.
Elizabeth sat contently eating her lunch, following Blakes advice and enjoying five minutes of quiet time to herself before she even began to get to work on the documents Russell had sent over for her. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with air, a simple task she had found she wasn't able to do for such a long time. As she slowly exhaled she allowed her mind to flicker through the last eight months.
The pain, heartbreak and anguish were all still there, deeply rooted within her soul, every thought or mention of Henry's name made her body sink. A physical pain radiates through her core, one she was sure would never leave her, yet somehow as each day passed she felt herself getting stronger, physically able to carry the heartache of her divorce, now she only willed herself to feel able to mentally cope.
She placed her fork down onto the plate, her eyes closing for a brief moment, her mind recuperating in the silence. Her hand warily edged towards the phone, wanting desperately to pick it up, to fight back against the voices in her head and trust her hesitant heart instead.
Her fingers grasped at the phone, slowly lifting and bringing it to her chest, allowing it to rest against her white silk shirt for a few moments whilst her other hand cautiously tapped out a number. Once the phone rang she felt her heart beat a little quicker as she lifted it to her ear, waiting patiently for someone to answer.
'Blake?' Henry answered, he'd recognise that number anywhere.
'No, Me' she bit her lip, tilting her head into the phone as her eyes closed at the softness of his voice.
'Hey you, how are you? Is everything ok?' His gentle tone wavered down the phone, pleasantries in his voice as he fell at the sound of her voice once again. His heart beating faster at the thought of Elizabeth reaching out to him.
'Everything is fine I just, How are the kids?' She asked, desperate for the slightest bit of communication with him, a reconnection with her family. She had to admit, admitting the truth to Alison and Jason about why she needed them to go back to the farm house with their father over two weeks ago had put a strain on their relationship, one she couldn't blame them for.
'They're fine, Jason has been nagging me to stay at his friends at the weekend and Alison is talking about some sleepover birthday party at the weekend too' he rolled his eyes and she chuckled slightly, a pain running through her as she continued to miss out on the daily aspects of their lives.
'Are they still mad at me?' She bit her lip once again and Henry sighed heavily.
'I don't think they were mad as such, just a little fed up of being in the middle I suppose, they'll come around'
'It's been over two weeks' she huffed
'Maybe, but within those two weeks they wouldn't have come and visited anyway, I'll try and push for them to come and see you next weekend if you're free? Or maybe you can come down to the farmhouse?' He asked with a hopeful tone.
'Hmm maybe,' she replied flatly. 'Listen Henry-' she paused, her courage escaping her as she silently cursed herself.
'Yes?' He waited patiently, giving her all the space she needed to speak, he knew by the tone of her voice she was about to reach out, he presumed for help.
'Are you free this weekend?' She asked quickly, slamming her eyes shut and instant regret building as she braced herself for rejection.
'If I let the kids go to their friends houses then I am' he chuckled softly
'Let them go, please' she almost whispered as she reached for him.
'Are you sure you're ok?' His voice thick with concern as he lowered it.
'Yeah I am, I-' she inhaled deeply 'I would like to see you, if you'd like to come up' her breath hitched in the back of her throat and she was sure her heart was slamming against her chest wall but she continued to push herself.
'Can I ask why you want to see me?' He questioned, hoping it was for reasons he wished and not some optic related moment.
'Urm, I am not really sure. I just know that I'd like to see you' she hesitated with her truth. Henry sighed into the phone, Elizabeth shaking her head knowing he was about to decline.
'It's an open invite, Secretary Thompson is stepping in this weekend to support an aid relief in Africa so it's anticipated to be a quiet weekend for me personally, and well, I didn't want to spend it alone' she continued.
'Elizabeth, I-'
'You can't' she sighed
'No that wasn't what I was going to say-'
'Oh?'
'I can't come without understanding what this is. If you're asking me to come as a friend, or a support then that's ok, if you're asking because you're thinking about more that's also ok, I just need to know. I need to protect my heart. I can't keep losing you' he admitted.
'I don't have the answer to that Henry, of course I want you in my life as a friend at least, as for more, I need to trust in that again, and I cannot promise it will or won't happen, that depends on both of us' she swallowed hard, her heart breaking at him resuming his place beside her in the capacity of a 'friend'.
'Ok, ok I'll come up at the weekend, I'll tell the kids I am on a course so we have minimal distraction' he smiled happily down the phone, his heart beating fast as his stomach danced, his hope reunited with his soul.
'Ok, I'll see you at the weekend, I won't be coming into the office Saturday, well at this moment it's not planned that I'll be at work. So come up when you're ready. I don't expect you to drive back that night either, you are welcome to stay' she breathed out slowly.
'Thank you, see you soon'
'Bye Henry' she smiled as she ended the call, her mind a haze as she started to think about the weekend, why did she want him up? Was she finally ready to stop pushing him away?