A/N: Chapter two is now up! Yay! Again this chapter is in Casey's POV. I want to thank everyone who review for the first chapter! I'm glad you like it. Anyway, I'll get to this chapter now...it's a bit short, but please R&R! I love you guys! Thanks for reading! -Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek or the song 'Mary' by Saving Jane, but I absolutely love all their songs.
Chapter Two
Overrated
She says it's overrated
Living this way...
All my life I've been the good girl. I did everything I was told the minute that I was told to. I always did my homework and I turned it in on time. I hardly ever complained, except when it came to Derek, after my mom and George got married. I certainly never talked back to my mom or any adult, except that one time but I apologized. That's another thing, when I felt that I had ever done something wrong I always apologized in good time. I was the model goody-two-shoes.
All my life that was who I was...and what exactly did it get me?
At first it seemed like things could be great. I would be the good girl and good things would come my way. It was one of the typical morals lessons. If I did the right thing, good things would happen to me. So, naturally, I always did the right thing, and things seemed to be great. I had a wonderful mom, a perfect little sister, a great family in general. Then my mom married George. Nothing against George, he's a great guy and all, and my mom really loves him. Edwin is generally a cool kid. I'm not sure what to think about Marti, though. Sometimes she's the cutest kid you could meet and sometimes she's a demon child. Then there's Derek. Him, I could definitely do without.
I've always done well in school. I've kept my grades up. Heck, I'll admit it. I'm an overachiever. I actually pay attention in my classes, like so few do. I listen to my teachers, and I rarely get in trouble. I think that's the only area in which I can get what I want. I just have to work really hard to get it. And I always do. But you can see where that got me...eternal grade grubber status.
Then there was Sam. When I first met him I thought he was going to be a genuine great guy. Not only was he absolutely adorable, he was kind and thoughtful. But he was Derke's best friend, so there had to be a catch. There just had to be. There was always a catch when Derek was involved. First of all, he could never like me. If he were anything like Derek at all he wouldn't like me in the slightest. But he did. He really surprised me. But Sam was always full of surprises. And when Derek finally crumbled and gave his permission for us to date, which I for one did not need, I found he was nothing like Derek at all. Or at least he seemed to be nothing like him. I thought he had proved me wrong for once in my life. And in a way I had been wrong.
At first, everything seemed perfect. Things were good. We went well together I think, at least for a little while. After some time, I started to feel like we just weren't working out. I mean, we didn't have too much in common and we just had a lot of other things in our lives that didn't involve each other. I had expected our relationship to run its course and then when it came down to it, make it a mutual break. Nothing messy and leaving no bad blood between us. I never expected for it to end with him cheating on me. He didn't seem the type. I never thought he would hurt me. I never thought he would hurt me intentionally. If we had just broken up it wouldn't have hurt as much. But this seemed like it was an attack against me. Like I wasn't good enough, like he needed more than just me, like he didn't want me, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.
Being the good girl who did the right thing no matter what, used to lead to good things. It doesn't anymore. What did it get me? I live in a house that is dominated by three men--boys, more like it--one third of which probably hates me with a vengeance. I'm dating a boy who is nothing like what I thought he was like and who cheated on me. So in that light, it really hasn't got me anything, but a lot of anxiety and heartache.
Being good doesn't get me what I want anymore. I've tried for all of my life, and it doesn't work. I can't firgure out why I would choose to live like this, if it's only going to get me hurt. I've tried, and like few things in my life, I've failed. That's not like me. I think it's about time for a change. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want to be the person who loses out on life because she's too...I guess, scared to go after what she wants. If I ever want to get what I want, I'm just going to have to take it. And if that's how it has to be, then that's what I'm going to do. It was time for me to stand up and take control of my life. I just have to figure out how to do that. And I definitely have work to do.