AN: I am thankful for all of you. Please do not hate me...
Chapter Eighty Two - The Straw
The straw that broke the camel's back; An old Proverb, used to describe an occurrence of a minor action resulting in an unpredictable or large reaction, because of the cumulative effect of things prior. That's the saying, she thought to herself. She had heard it on a few occasions but never truly understood the meaning of it until now, the only difference was her reaction was not unpredictable, at least not for herself. From the moment Elizabeth was abruptly woken in the early hours in the morning, the demanding voice of Russell Jackson blaring down her phone, requesting she meet him at the white house, she knew then it was going to happen, she was going to be bent so far that she would break, it was only a matter of time, unfortunately that time had come.
Six Hours ago…
Elizabeth stood in anticipation, knowing as soon as the elevator doors pinged open on level 7, she was going to face an ambush. Her eyes closed momentarily, her limbs falling at her sides, heavy with dread whilst she watched the symbol for floor 6 light up. She tilted her head forward and glanced at her watch, 11.01am, sighing inwardly as she blinked away her tiredness. Without any warning the doors flew open, Elizabeth almost cursed as she silently prayed for a few minutes longer, just a few more seconds of silence was all she needed.
'Good Morning Madam Secretary, would you like a coffee? Some breakfast?' Blake asked, his eyes running over her fatigued state.
'No thanks, I just need five minutes' she sighed heavily, making her way towards her office, glancing around, knowing the rest of her staff were going to be walking next to her any minute. 'Actually I will have a coffee, and a bear claw' she waved her hand trying to muster the energy to think.
'A bear claw-'
'Don't even question it Blake, not today. I've been in that situation room with Russell Jackson breathing down my neck since three o'clock this morning, just give me the sugar' her eyes widened as she looked at him, her tone as soft as she could muster.
'Yes Ma'am' he nodded firmly, his inability to say no to powerful people shining through once again.
'Thank you' she mouthed sarcastically as she resumed her walk to the office. Once inside she inhaled deeply, placing her bag on the table and unbuttoning her coat, starting to slip it off her shoulders when Nadine walked in.
'Morning Madam Secretary, Russell Jackson has been on the phone three times in the last-' she paused and glanced at her watch '-Seven minutes, he wants a copy of the speech you're taking to Cuba' she announced, Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief.
'That man' she groaned to herself 'I was just with him for the last eight hours, couldn't he have mentioned it then!' She moaned, throwing her coat to the couch in frustration. 'Why hasn't he got it already? Hasn't Matt finished it?' She asked, her mind increasing with intensive thoughts as she tried to focus on one problem at a time.
'He has Ma'am, you just need to proof-read it before we sent it over to Russell. Would you like me to go and fetch the fi-'
No, no it's fine, thanks Nadine' she raised her hand to her head, rubbing her temples as a headache began to emerge.
'You also need to call the ambassador at some point today-' Nadine was cut off by a loud sigh from Elizabeth as she threw herself down on her office chair.
'Here is your coffee and bear claw Ma'am, and also, Henry just called-' Blake started but Elizabeth lifted her hand to stop him speaking.
'I'll check in with him later, I haven't got time right now' she sighed assuming he wanted to speak with her about their time together recently, her mind flickering back to two days ago, when they spent the weekend together, a small appreciative smile falling on her lips as she remembered spending the day in his arms on Saturday.
'Ma'am-' Blake slightly raised his hand trying to recapture her attention, '-Henry said he has tried to reach you about six times now, he really needs to speak to you, He asked me to tell you that it's urgent, but reassure you all the kids are fine' Blake relayed the message, Elizabeth's face grew with concern as she started to look through her bag for her phone.
'Ma'am the staff meeting is in twenty minutes, It might be a good time to offer Daisy an official statement ahead of your flight' Nadine called out behind her as she started to step out of Elizabeth's office.
'Thanks Blake' Elizabeth dismissed him, her phone already pressed to her ear as she waited for Henry to pick up.
'Henry? Hey, I urm, I just got your message from Blake' She jumped straight in, her speech running as fast as her thoughts.
'I've been trying to call you, is everything ok?' He asked
'Yeah sorry I was in the situation room all night, I've just this minute got to State and things are just a bit hectic here' she sighed heavily, sinking back in her chair, her hand running through her hair.
'Babe, I don't mean to add to the load but, It's buttercup-'
'What's wrong? Is he ok?' She sat forward, her attention piqued as Henry continue to speak
'He's hurt his leg, the kids have taken him out so I'm not sure how, I'm just a bit worried, he doesn't seem himself so I've called the vet out. They're coming to take a look, around one this afternoon, I just wanted to let you know, I wasn't sure if you-' Henry explained, before being cut off by Elizabeth.
'I'll be there, I'll start making my way now, hopefully I'll be there in time' she glanced at her watch again, sighing inwardly as she exhaled slowly, trying to remain calm as she began to feel the pressure build within.
- MS -
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the two and a half, nearly three hour journey to the Farmhouse in Virginia was not something she ever enjoyed. Her stomach was wrapped up in knots, on some level she felt a mix of excitement and nervousness to see Henry, her mind teasing her with images of his lips on hers, wondering just how she was going to keep herself from wanting to reach out and hold him like she used to in front of the kids. There was also an underlying sense uncertainty that lay within the pit of her stomach, Buttercup. A companion that she had at her side for many, many years.
As the motorcade pulled up outside the farmhouse she inhaled deeply, giving herself a split second to calm her thoughts before stepping out and greeting her family.
'Hey Mom' Alison smiled, walking towards her and instantly wrapping her arms around her waist.
'Hey Noodle' she kissed down onto her head, slipping her hand across her daughter's upper back and walking with her towards Henry and Jason.
'Hi Mom' Jason mumbled, looking down at his feet as his foot played with the ground. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at Henry, glancing in Jason's direction and shaking her head softly.
'I'm not going to tell you off for getting drunk at that party Jason, from what I've heard your father has punished you enough' She reasoned softly, pulling her arm from Alison's back and reaching forward to squeeze Jason's shoulder.
'Sorry Mom' he sighed, Elizabeth pulled him close and kissed the top of his head too.
'It's ok, and at least now I know you think I'm a great politician' she whispered teasingly and he groaned in response.
'I'm never going to live that down am I?' He asked and Elizabeth giggled in response
'Maybe one day' her laugh filtered through the air as she looked over to Henry.
'Kids why don't you head inside whilst I chat to your mom about Buttercup' he asked kindly.
'See you in a bit' they both echoed, running off towards the house.
'Are you ok?' He asked softly, desperately wanting to reach out and caress her, soothe her tired body, but he knew she would be cautious of the children seeing them.
'Just another day working for the Government-' she dismissed his question, trying to escape work for five minutes. '-So what's happening? Is Buttercup ok?' She asked, walking next to Henry as they both strode towards the stables. Henry slipped his hands in his pockets, he sighed heavily as he tried to find the words for her.
'The vets came out earlier to check him, they're urm, they'll be coming back in about half an hour. I'm sorry babe, they confirmed his leg isn't a sprain, it's a tumor. They did an MRI and it confirmed he is suffering from lymphosarcoma. They also mentioned that there are other tumors that have metastasised into his liver.
'What about Chemo? there has got to be something?' She panicked as her mind searched for solutions.
'The vets said he is in pain'
'We can't have that' she whispered
'They've given him something for the pain, I wanted to wait until you were here to make any decision, but there isn't anything they can do' He pressed his lips together and offered her a saddened smile as he watched the tears prick at her eyes. Her chest puffed out as she held her breath, her head nodding slowly as she tried to remain calm. She silently glanced to the stables behind her, holding her gaze for a moment as her thoughts began to spin around and around. Then she glanced back to Henry with all her hurt and sorrow, unsure of what to do.
'I don't want him in pain,' her gentle whisper drowned in her grief.
'I'll give you two some time alone' he whispered, his hand reaching out and taking a hold of hers, he gently squeezed her hand, trying to offer her some strength as he could see she was trying hard to hold it all together.
Elizabeth walked toward the stables, smiling with a breaking heart as she placed a loving hand on buttercup.
'Hey boy' her voice was wary as she smoothed down his mane. Her hands were shaking as she tried to push through her emotions with every ounce of strength she had left.
'We had the best times you and me, the best times' she whispered, her voice dipping lower the more she spoke. Her hand held onto the halter around his face, pulling his nose closer to her cheek, softly placing her skin against his. She exhaled with sadness as she closed her eyes, tears begging to be released as she felt buttercup nuzzle into her.
A tight band began to form around her chest, her heart fighting to beat faster as her thoughts began to spiral out of control. Buttercup's gentle nudge into her had finally tipped her over the edge, she squeezed her eyes tighter, her breathing ragged as she tried so hard to push everything away but it was no use, she had bent too far and snapped, forced to face everything all at once.
'Abdul stay down'
'Henry, You're scaring me' she whispered
'GOOD BECAUSE THIS IS SCARY!'
'Oh god, Henry I love you' She cried into the phone, running as fast as she could away from the inevitable. *BOOM* she felt herself being thrown to the floor, her head smashing down onto a nearby rock, her world turning black.
'Who is Dimitri?'
She forced herself up right, snapping her eyes open wide and shaking her head, her thoughts scrambling to the surface as she willed herself to be strong and dampen them down once again. She felt buttercup tug at his halter, pulling her from her very own black hole. She let out a soft whimper as she looked at him.
'You never put a foot wrong, I would come to the pasture and you would run to me, do you remember?' She whispered softly, lifting her head and scratching behind his ears. She breathed in shakily, her voice shuddering under her silent cries.
'Thank you for being my horse' her hushed tones soothing buttercup as he nudged into her once more. She glanced over her shoulder, a sullen Henry stood waiting to embrace her. Elizabeth's body swayed with all her heavy load as she gave buttercup one final rub, her halter rattling as she finally let them go. Pushing off her heels she walked a few steps forward, arms outstretched, ready to fall, thankful that he didn't leave her alone for too long.
'Thank you for coming back' her voice barely a whisper as she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her head into her shoulder, closing her eyes as he held her tight. Henry took a hold of her upper arms and pulled her back, her face torn with despair as she tried to think straight.
'Whatever happens, We're together' his reassuring words failing to calm her erratic mind. Elizabeth dipped her head and caught sight of her feet. Heels. Her black stiletto heels covered in muck, a visual representation of how much had changed, she was no longer the farmhouse wife who wore wellies and mucked out stables, but now, a city woman, who had nothing but her job.
Her breath shook as her hands grabbed and Henry's biceps. Her nails dug into him as she began to pant uncontrollably. Her heart pounding against her chest walls, earring ringing out, her skin tingling as she fought for breath.
'Elizabeth?' Henry panicked, frantically searching her face for a response but nothing came.
Her head soaring with pain as her thoughts forced themselves to the top, drowning her in memories.
'You know the silent treatment won't work, you have to speak up' Henry scoffed.
'You know what, you deserve these' he snapped and threw the divorce documents on her desk.
'I am Charlotte Rodriguez, Henry's girlfriend' She grinned
Dr Henry Patrick McCord and Dr Elizabeth Grace Adams, Have ended their marriage in divorce.
'The conference shut It down now!'
'Please don't break my heart again'
'Madam Secretary'
'Ma'am Russel Jackson has been calling'
'Secretary McCord'
'Elizabeth'
'Elizabeth' Henry repeated, his hands firmly holding her body as she continued to panic, her head in a frenzy as her chest forced itself up and down intensely.
'I.I..Can't-' She struggled to breathe in, her lungs refusing to fully open as she let go of Henry, stepping back away from him. 'I can't, I ca-'
'It's ok babe, you need to follow me, Deep-'
'No, No I can't do this' she placed a hand on her chest as she exhaled with difficulty. 'I can't do this, It's too much' she pushed her fingertips into her head, trying to physically push the memories away but they kept coming, playing on one bit loop, forcing her to relieve it all.
Abdul stay down'
*BOOM*
'Dimitri'
'you deserve these'
'I am Charlotte Rodriguez'
Divorce
'Shut It down now!'
'Madam Secretary'
'Ma'am
'Secretary McCord'
'Elizabeth'
She pushed her way past Henry, grabbing at her chest as she loosened the button on her shirt, trying to create space to be able to breathe. Twinkles of stars distort her vision as she kept slamming her eyes open and closed.
'Elizabeth' he reached out and grabbed her arm, trying to pull her back but she forcefully pulled her arm away.
'Henry I can't, I, I. It's too much. I'm done, I can't. I-' she paused as she reached her motorcade, turning to face him slightly, 'Iran, Geneva, the bomb, you, me, Dimitri, Charlotte, State, our weekend, It's all here-' she forcefully thrust her hand up to her head, pointing harshly into her temple as her tears began to spill down her cheeks.
'Eli-'
'It's all here and it's too much, and now Buttercup, I, I' her voice lodged in her throat, her emotion too thick to swallow, she had no choice but to break. She pulled her door open and threw herself inside.
'Matt Take me home' she pleaded, a slither of relief coming to the surface when she felt the car pull away, despite the loud cries of her name coming from Henry in the distance. But the relief was short lived, She tilted her head back into the seat and continued to fight for breath. Her tears cascading down her cheeks and her body swaying from the mental torment and physical exhaustion. The straw that broke the camel's back; That's the saying, she thought to herself. Buttercup was her straw that broke her.