I don't own anything related to the Naruto franchise

Chapter 3 - Rags To Riches (with an extra scoop of granola)

Author's Note:

It's been brought to my attention that the Nara matriarch actually does exist in the Naruto series, and her name isn't Alsea. Unfortunately for Yoshino Nara (the Canon Nara) Alsea the beautiful Medic Nin has become Shikamaru's mom in my head-canon now, and she isn't going anywhere. I promise not to give anyone westernized names from this point forward.

Thanks

Naruto read the name Ignotis on the beaten-up wooden signboard and then looked at the weather worn door and poorly painted walls. Next, he turned aside to look at Hiruzen Sarutobi or "Saito", as the man was currently under cover, and arched an eyebrow. "Is this dump really a store?"

"Yes, yes it is." Hiruzen looked excited to go in and browse. "Most serious ninja end up coming here because the weapon craftsmanship is the best around. This store doesn't need to advertise, so they don't. I just saved you years of looking by pointing you to this store."

"I'll get excited then," Naruto mused as he tried to peer in through the store's thinly slatted windows. "I've been carving my own weapons for over six months now."

As Hiruzen retrieved a brace of Naruto's stone Kunai from a storage tag in his pocket, his face split into a wide grin. "I love these, Naruto. I brought them because I thought the owner here might get a kick out of them." Without another word, Hiruzen opened the door and stepped into the store as if he owned the place... which in a way, he kind of did.

As Naruto followed "Saito" inside the store, he immediately saw that its interior was everything that the outside wasn't. It was spotless, golden-wood paneled and bristling with extremely well-organized weapons from top to bottom. It was in a two row configuration but it went back like twenty meters easily... "Oh wow," Naruto breathed out, as he floated into the store.

Hiruzen was standing near a counter beside one of the largest men Naruto had ever seen in his life. The man was shaped like a bull but he didn't look like he had even an ounce of fat on his body. He was also staring at Naruto intensely. Naruto didn't like where this was going.

"Naruto, this here is Daicho Ignotis. He's the owner, operator and crafter here at the apply named Ignotis store." Hiruzen smiled at the man before waving at Naruto. "Daicho, this is Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto extended his hand and stared right back at the man's unblinking gaze.

For several seconds neither of them moved.

"Well met," Daicho announced very suddenly and in a very powerful voice. His hand swooped down and captured Naruto's as if he were a toy, before shaking his whole body with the handshake that followed.

"Nice.. to.. meet.. you," Naruto rattled out as his body ragdolled up and down.

"I was just looking at your super cool, stone Kunai here," Daicho enthused dramatically. "They're powerfully hard to make, because they don't have an evenly distributed center of mass. I work in metals for their permanence, but I'd be interested to hear how you balanced carved rock into uniform throwing weapons."

"By feel," Naruto explained immediately. "I carve them over about half an hour to an hour, and as I shuck off the extra, I slowly find the heaviest, most uniform piece. Then as I get down to the Kunai shape, I shave off irregularities. At first no Kunai was even remotely similar, but I've become better at it with time."

"I can see that," Daicho replied, while studying the Kunai from a close range. "They're remarkably uniform and polished."

"These Kunai helped take out a three Genin squad that was abducting people from this village," Sarutobi quietly explained with an amused smile on his face. "Granted, it was a fortunate outcome to an extremely well laid out surprise attack, but at least one of the attackers blinded himself with shrapnel when he tried to deflect one of these."

"If stone Kunai could be mass produced, that's exactly what I'd see them be used for," Daicho mused. "As throwing weapons, these splinter and splash rather than rebound when deflected, which makes them incredibly lethal when added to a normal arsenal."

"I can make a ten piece brace of them in as little as a week in my free time." At this point, Naruto was being carried away by the man's enthusiasm.

"I like that idea, but you're being too ambitious." Daicho put the stone Kunai down on the table and steepled his hands. "You're going to have classes and homework from now on, Naruto. I don't even work my daughter that hard. Speaking of daughter... Tenten! Where have you gotten off to!"

I'm here testing the weight of these throwing knives, a young female voice called out from a back area of the store.

"Yeah, yeah testing the weight," muttered Daicho. "Because of that girl I have to label literally everything I make "used" by the time I put it on the shelves."

Hiruzen scoffed and then covered his mouth.

"Laugh it up chuckles." Despite his tone, Daicho looked seconds away from laughing himself.

"Originally I only came here for clothing, but now I'm never leaving," Naruto whispered, as he looked at all of the weapons.

That's exactly the reaction that keeps me from retiring, Daicho enthused with a wide, wide smile. "Not to worry about the clothing. That's why I called for my daughter. You might need the help considering what you're wearing was considered uncool by the time I was your age."

Naruto grinned at Hiruzen, causing the old man to double face palm.

"The boy's only wearing a hospital gown," Hiruzen quietly explained. "I made a Henge for him just to get him here. So sorry it's not cool."

Daicho's face was like stone until suddenly it wasn't. All of the sudden, he was roaring with laughter and slapping his knees like a madman. Even as his laughter devolved into childish giggles a young bun haired girl bounced out of the back rooms. She arrived and then immediately began staring at her dad as if he was off his rocker.

"Oh, oh wow! I completely forgot that you used to actually wear that stuff! Oh now I remember! Hiruzen the great, wearing the lamest clothing in history as if it was all completely awesome!" Daicho began howling again and tears were pouring from his eyes.

Naruto patted Hiruzen's back consolingly, as one of his oldest friend's mercilessly picked on him.

Tenten was done staring at her dad and was regarding Naruto and "Saito" instead. "Umm I'm assuming I was called for a reason?"

Daicho finally gathered control of himself and gestured at Naruto. "Tenten hunny, can you help our fashionably challenged young friend here look like a ninja trainee?"

Tenten gave Naruto a critical eye and then looked back up at her dad. "Can I tie him up for his own good?"

Daicho's face was turning red again but he kept it together for the moment. "Yes hunny, just be gentle. It's his first time."

"Come," Tenten demanded imperiously, before marching down the aisle with Naruto scrambling to catch up. As they walked away, they could both hear yet more heartfelt laughter coming from behind them.

Tenten turned back to Naruto and cocked her head to the side. "Are you like... from some out of nowhere area that doesn't change with the times?"

Naruto smiled and shook his head. "These actually aren't my clothes. My clothes were all destroyed in an unfortunate incident. I'd still appreciate the help though. You look both feminine and professional, which must mean you know what you're doing."

After blushing just a bit at the praise, Tenten smiled. "I like that you noticed my efforts. It wasn't easy to pull off."

"Well, other than the fact that I'm not aiming for feminine, I'm willing to trust your judgment," Naruto mused as he scanned the racks of clothes. "I'm not a fan of bright colors though. I like hunting and that means I prefer blending in to my surroundings.'

"Only idiots prefer bright colors," Tenten responded, with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Let's get you figured out."

Naruto and Tenten roamed to the back of the store, where orderly little rows of clothing were kept separate from everything else.

"Usually when trainees wear brighter colors, it's just to avoid looking like they presume too much," Tenten announced into the comfortable silence they'd lapsed into, as they browsed the clothing.

"Will you explain that?" Naruto was a little bit lost, but he also just liked the sound of the girl's voice.

"Yeah well, ummm. Here's an example… If you really wanted them, we have a full set of clothing similar to the Anbu uniform that you could wear to school tomorrow. But... What would that say to everyone who saw you?"

"That I expect I'll become an Anbu at some point," Naruto answered slowly. "Oh! Ohhhh, I get it. If I dress exactly like a ninja, I'm arrogantly proclaiming that I could start tomorrow. As if I'm hot stuff or something... That's a problem though... I don't want to wear bright orange just to appear less arrogant..."

"Wearing bright orange would be an arrogance all of its own, Naruto. It screams kill me and just begs for trouble." Tenten was grinning as she pointed at a truly hideous orange and blue jumpsuit.

Naruto visibly shivered. "That's a meat shield's clothing."

"Agreed," Tenten announced cheerfully. "I suggest you wear almost but not quite ninja clothing."

"Sounds very specific," Naruto responded, with a hand to his chin.

"It is and it isn't." Tenten gestured at her collar and sleeve ends. They both had burnt red areas that were about an inch and a half thick. "Do you think I'm any less serious about my craft because of these highlights?"

"No, no you're right. I barely noticed those bands of color beyond the fact they perfectly match your eyes." Naruto smiled at Tenten and then looked away in time to miss her blush. "I'm a yellow blond with light blue eyes though…. I don't want to wear yellow or light blue in any great amount."

Secretly Tenten would've loved to see Naruto in sky blue, but she knew that she'd have to work to get to that point. "Never fear. I have a miraculous solution for all of your problems," Tenten declared with a wide smirk. "Do you know what both ninjas and ninja trainees wear a lot of and yet completely take for granted?"

"Nope... blow my mind Tenten." Naruto was grinning along at this point.

"Tape and lots of it." Tenten gestured at an entire aisle of different colored tapes. "We stock tape in black, gray, charcoal and dark green here and you can cover literally any clothing until it's ninja ready with the stuff."

"That's awesome," Naruto readily agreed. "I guess I just need to pick some neutral colors and then wrap myself up."

"Absolutely and with that in mind, I really do want to see you in a medium shade of blue. Your eyes demand it..." Tenten didn't blush this time, but it looked like she wanted to. "We'll liberally cover it in charcoal colored tape after the fact, so it'll look professional, I promise."

Naruto nodded in understanding and then he canted his head to the side. "And pants?"

"Stick to black, charcoal and gray and you can't go wrong," Tenten replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I'd suggest medium tight rather than loose and cuffed at the bottom with more dark tape. Ninjas carefully control their clothing."

"It'll be done then," Naruto replied with a beaming smile. He just couldn't get over this whole people being kind to him thing. If he wasn't careful he was going to get spoiled. Last thing he needed was to get a big head and then have the civilians stomp all over it. "Oh! I also need some sandaled boots."

"Okay we'll get them next then, Tenten offered, in a relaxed tone. "Ninety nine point nine percent of both ninjas and trainees buy black booted sandals. No brainer."

"Good to go then, load me up." Naruto waved his arms wide. "I need a full wardrobe."

"Must have been quite the accident then," remarked Tenten, with arched eyebrows.

"I'll leave it to you to try and figure out my super mysterious past. It's more fun that way." Naruto thought that his answer was way more clever than just throwing out some random lie.

"You're going to end up with girls stalking you home if you're always that aloof and mysterious Naruto." Tenten grinned as she shook her head. "It's a rookie mistake."

"Hmmm a fire at my old home then?" Naruto was just seconds away from trying to hug this super kind girl.

"That'll do it. It's too late though. I already know that your excuse is bullshit, and I... will... find... out... the... truth..." Tenten was poking Naruto on the cheek with every word she said.

"Even if you did find out you wouldn't believe it," Naruto answered candidly.

"Nuh uh ninja girl," Tenten said while pointing at herself. "Weird stuff happens all the time."

"Okay then. Good luck and I'll be rooting for yah." Naruto caught a heap of prospective clothing that Tenten had launched at him in retaliation and laughed.

"Change," Tenten demanded, pointing at the dressing room. "You're an eyesore right now."

With an obedient nod, Naruto walked into the dressing room, and then laughed when his illusory clothing disappeared with picture perfect timing. Hiruzen was kind of scary, but he was the Hokage after all...

Ten minutes later, Naruto walked towards the front counter, where he put down a heap of different clothing.

"So... You were able to find something then?" Hiruzen's voice was just oozing sarcasm.

"You sent me back there with a super pretty girl," Naruto immediately defended. "I was doomed from the get go, and you knew it."

From behind Naruto, Tenten blushed for a third time and covered it up by coughing into her hands.

"Is there any training equipment I can buy while I'm still using some mysterious sponsor's money?" Naruto had a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Why yes Naruto. Now that you mention it there is!" Daicho appeared to appreciate Naruto's sense of humor as well, because his eyes were the same brand of mischievous. "Follow me."

Naruto followed Daicho to what appeared to be a weight rack, but then they were moving beyond it and he started getting confused.

"Listen Naruto." Daicho leaned over and stared at the boy. "I've been told about both your past and your skills. What you don't want to do is graduate too early. You're not well loved in this village, so you might end up with uncaring or outright hostile teammates. You need to get to know your classmates and make as many friends as you can. The people you get to know at school will someday keep a Kunai out of your back. With that in mind, we have a line of training equipment that will cause Hell for both your strength and agility."

"Weights," Naruto guessed.

"Nope. Those would be far too obvious. I have a series of wrist and ankle bands that increase gravity and air friction resistance for your every move. Normally only Chunin level ninja or higher wear these bands because they tear the crap out of your body. Kids your age never wear these because their bodies are still developing. You however, heal in minutes what would take anyone else days to recover from, and you're development hasn't been hindered at all by your frequent near death beatings."

"I did grow quite a bit faster this past year," Naruto pointed out.

"Food and lots of it," Daicho replied casually. "You're not going to be hampered by muscle strain so long as you're consistently well fed, so Hiruzen's already green lit this idea."

"Okay soooo, I'm going to look consistently clumsy and weak?" Naruto hated this idea even as he could see its merits.

"Well only at first. You'll progress as your class progresses and then end up several times stronger than normal by the time you become a genin." Daicho smiled because he could see he had the boy hook line and sinker.

"Okay Daicho, lay them on me." Naruto was stoked at the idea of training just by living.

"Hold your horses Naruto," Daicho said, while throwing up a hand palm out. "I need you to take this next part very seriously. There's a series of numbered levels that are rune designed into these bands. I want you to never skip a level. Level one is one point five times normal gravity. I want you to use that until it feels like you aren't wearing it at all. Only then should you change it to level two."

"How many levels are there on a band?" Naruto was smitten with this idea now and wanted to get started ASAP.

"There are ten levels on a band amounting to five extra gravities." Daicho grinned then and lightly punched his own chest. "If you ever need more I'll design a stronger band for you myself."

"Better get started now then," Naruto replied, with a wide grin upon his face. "I'm going to be training like a madman from this point forward."

"Okay, I'll take that at face value and dabble with the runes involved." Daicho looked excited at the idea.

"Don't suppose I can wear hand braces or shin guards made of metal," Naruto added.

"Nope, no you can't. It would be far too noticeable for a six year old to wear."

Naruto nodded and rubbed at his neck. "I've never thrown a normal Kunai before. Am I going to have trouble."

Daicho put a hand to his chin in thought. "A stone kunai has more density near center mass than a metal Kunai. The major difference between them would be rotation speed. A metal Kunai will rotate slower and make you appear clumsy. It's perfect."

Naruto nodded again because he understood the point. He was supposed to look both weak and clumsy for his own good. "Are there any weapons I can train in during my free time?"

"Come back often, sell me some stone Kunai and we'll talk shop about getting you a blade of some kind. It's still way too early for that and you'll have several other things to focus on in the near future." Daicho patted Naruto on the back and then crouched down in front of him. "Listen Naruto because this is important... If you hurt my Tenten someday with your runaway charm, I'll cover you in gravity belts, tie them to anvils and leave you at the bottom of an ocean... Get me?"

Naruto gulped and then rapidly nodded his head even though he barely understood what the man was getting at.

"Good then!" Daicho stood back up, patting Naruto's shoulder just a little bit harder than usual before walking back towards his counter. "Let's ring you up!"

Later that day, Hiruzen and Naruto entered a district of the village that Naruto had never been brave enough to enter before. As they entered it, the hateful glares he was receiving from the villagers ebbed away and then disappeared. In the hatred's place was curiosity, ambiguity or mild contempt. Naruto could handle contempt. He wasn't a ninja and yet he was moving into a working ninja district, so the contempt at least made sense. Besides... By some fluke of luck this area wasn't too far from either the school or the training grounds.

"This is it," Hiruzen announced, while pointing at a whitewashed building that was smushed up against a large walled compound. "That compound is the Anbu compound and Dog is roomed at one of the topmost levels right above and to the right of you."

"It's taller than the buildings surrounding it," Naruto pointed out.

"Yes, yes it is... You're going to love this. Come!" Hiruzen marched into the building without ever looking back and with a massive smile on his face.

Naruto followed the Hokage up the three levels to his new apartment and then entered when the man gestured him inside. Oh Kami. The apartment was massive, fully furnished, clean, hooked up utility wise and it had a walkout rooftop balcony... When Naruto turned back towards Hiruzen, his face was filled with both shock and question. "Why?"

"For two reasons, Naruto." Hiruzen grinned as he held up two fingers. "First, I like you and I can. Second, I want to manipulate you so shamelessly that you won't even resent me for it."

"Ummm manipulate?" Naruto was a step behind.

"I want you to love this village, Naruto. I want you to walk out there on that balcony and see it every day. The village, the clifftop faces, the school and the people. I want you to love it all. I don't mind you knowing that I'm manipulating you, just so long as it works." Hiruzen's grin dropped as he dropped his hands to his sides. Konoha is your home Naruto... always has been. I need it to feel like home."

"Why though? Both good and bad, I receive far too much attention to be normal..." Naruto was skirting around ideas a little too complicated and painful for him, but he knew that he needed to find answers sooner rather than later.

"Naruto... Just bear with me okay. Someday I'll tell you everything and we can have a really healthy... discussion. Until that day, just live your life, train hard and frolic just enough to stress me out." Hiruzen looked exhausted all of the sudden.

Naruto decided to give up for now because the old man was beginning to smell tortured in a similar way to Kakashi. "Okay gramps. No biggie and this place is beautiful... I'm sure I'll end up thoroughly manipulated."

Hiruzen snorted and then put his hands on Naruto's shoulders. "You did a lot more growing up out there in the wilderness than merely in size. You're a thoughtful young man now and it looks good on you..."

Knock, knock, knock.

Hiruzen looked to Naruto, indicating that it was his apartment so he should be the one answering the door. Naruto nodded and then ran over to the door, swinging it open. "Hell... Oh! Alsea! Mrs. Nara, umm, come in, how can I help you?"

"Actually I'm here to help you, Naruto Kun. I'm going to be the one ironing out your literacy." Alsea had a wide grin upon her face as she waved around a series of comically simple children's books.

"Ummm Alsea... I'm nowhere near bad enough at reading that the "see spot run" type of book is necessary." Naruto was a little stunned by the depths of ignorance Mrs. Nara thought he was functioning at. "I only have problems with the larger words with the blocked and flowing letters."

"Blocked and flowing letters," Mrs Nara repeated slowly, with her head canted to the side.

"Ummm yeah. Words that have like, this tendency to hide under each other or shift and crawl around on the page. In the past, when I was reading them, I had to stare at these words for several minutes in a row to get them to form properly in my mind."

As Alsea looked up at Hiruzen, she adopted a look of intense suffering upon her face. "You know what? Fine! I thought it was going to be super duper cute to teach oddly mature and charming little Naruto Kun to read!"

"What's wrong?" As Hiruzen walked up he looked alarmed over Alsea's sudden temper tantrum.

"Naruto kun can read Hiruzen! I don't know exactly what he's been trying to read, but he's just fine at it! In fact, I'm fairly certain he's been breaking through Fuinjutsu coded and scrambled writing, using his chakra to probe out the words!" Alsea looked extremely broken-hearted.

"Wait, what?" X2... Both Naruto and Hiruzen were staring at Alsea at this point.

"Naruto," Alsea began in a gentle tone. "When you look at simple, ordinary books or food menus, do the letters swim? I'm just trying to rule out dyslexia."

"Umm no. Normal menus, pamphlets, schedules or food prep directions are fine," Naruto responded with a shrug. "It's just... Where I was living for the past nine months, there were thousands and thousands of books. The problem was that there were no simple books. They were all explaining very complex chakra theory and super advanced and deadly jutsus. I could just barely make out the words and I figured I wasn't good enough at reading yet. I thought the words were just beyond me, so I kept trying over and over and I improved a little bit over time... I thought that all textbooks regarding chakra and ninjutsu were like what I've been seeing..."

"Fuinjutsu encrypted," Hiruzen whispered, from behind Naruto's shoulder. "We'll need you to show us this place that you're talking about very soon, Naruto..."

Naruto just nodded because that was beginning to sound like a good idea.

"Naruto Kun might not be a novelist just yet, but he's probably just fine at reading. He's also most likely a Fuinjutsu prodigy of some kind." Crouching down near Naruto, Alsea wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as if she was being torn away from him forever in a romantic tragedy. "We'll always have the hospital Naruto Kun." Alsea looked like she might cry.

"Would you like to tutor me in all the theory that I don't know?" Naruto extended a palm to softly cup at Alsea's cheek. "It hurts me to see you sad..."

Over the next couple of seconds Alsea turned a bright red and then emitted a full on squee of overflowing happiness. "Oh my Kami, you're soooo cute Naruto Kun, So cute, oh my Gods, I can't even handle it!" Alsea launched herself at the boy and soon had him crushed tightly to her chest in an extraordinarily tight hug.

Across the room from the two of them, Hiruzen had been trying desperately to keep it together, but in the end it was impossible. He finally just exploded into mad laughter and he couldn't stop to save his own life. This was the second time in a little less than two hours that he'd seen Naruto charm the pants off of a female and their wildly differing ages just made it all the funnier! Naruto was a ladies man the likes of which he'd never seen before in his entire life, and he was only six years old! Kami, I need to send a message to the Toad Sage... Hiruzen collapsed into a chair and gasped for air, as Alsea squeezed Naruto between her breasts like she would a teddy bear.

"I'm keeping him, Sarutobi. I'm serious, Naruto kun's mine, and I won't let any stupid clan law keep me at a distance anymore!" Alsea turned her head towards Hiruzen without ever letting go of Naruto and gave him a serious look. "I'm a journeyman at Fuinjutsu just like you are, so at the very least I can help with that. I'm involved now and I'm not going anywhere."

Hiruzen took in a very deep breath and then sat up straighter. "And your son? You know, the Nara heir Shikamaru? Don't you tutor him?"

After slowly releasing Naruto's face from between her breasts, Alsea crossed her arms and gave the Hokage a very meaningful look. "I'm not concerned for him at all… My son's a genius. If he doesn't get literally perfect grades it'll all be part of some super elaborate plan... or laziness bordering on insanity... Either or really..."

"That smart and that lazy huh?" Hiruzen was encouraged and terrified at the exact same time.

"I'll introduce him to Naruto Kun later and I'm sure that they'll get along." Alsea turned back towards a very red faced Naruto and beamed down at him. "I'm going to teach you how to play chess so that my son likes you. Do you understand why I'm doing that?"

"I'm... sorry one moment please... that was... I've... never... I've never been hugged like that before... Not, I mean I..." Naruto took a deep breath to calm down, but he was having trouble keeping himself together. His words faltered and he just kind of shrugged helplessly.

Right away Hiruzen knew exactly what was going to happen next. Walking across the room, he just sat back down to wait it out. This was going to do more good for Naruto than the apartment would, but it might also take some time...

"Ohhhhhh Nooooo Narukun! How can they be so mean to my little Narukun! I'll hurt them, point me at them!" Amidst all this Alsea was literally suffocating the blond boy within her cleavage, as she throttle hugged him down into her lap.

Naruto liked being hugged. He decided pretty quickly that if he had to die then this was definitely the way to do it. He was even willing to forgive the disgusting nickname, because this felt really, really good... Eventually, when the hugging came to an end, Naruto found himself sliding bonelessly onto the floor. Several seconds went by while his brain rebooted from a completely blissed out state. Finally, Naruto rose back to a seated position as he became both aware and present once again. "Yes... I understand."

Alsea was a million miles away plotting revenge on the entire village but she snapped out of it at Narukun's words. "You understand what?"

"Why I need to learn chess," Naruto clarified. "You want me to meet your scary clever son and spend time with him, because you think we might have a good effect on each other... You also want me around because you think I'm cute..."

"Yes and yes, but in the opposite order," Alsea clarified.

As Hiruzen rose out of his chair, he wiped a suspicious red spot from his nose. "Cough, cough… well I'll be going now... Naruto food for your fridge will be delivered here later, along with writing supplies and school stuff. I expect you to eat all of the food delivered here every day with no exceptions. There will be a lot of food and of a wide variety. If you start gaining fat you're not training hard enough."

Naruto just nodded with a completely perverse look upon his face. "I'm going to go bonkers in my training, gramps, not to worry. In fact, I've already activated the bracelets."

"Well good... wait you have? I haven't seen any signs of strain." Hiruzen scrutinized Naruto for several seconds before he finally clued in. "Ahh I get it! You move like a low level ninja without the bracelets so with them you're just an extremely energetic boy... Well I'll be damned. You might not be as embarrassed on your first day of classes as you feared."

"Narukun's wearing gravity seals?" Alsea looked confused.

"And resistance seals," Naruto offered helpfully.

Alsea was beginning to look pissed off at Hiruzen. "Why is a little boy wearing Chunin level training gear on his first day at the Ninja Academy?"

"For good reasons," Hiruzen answered with his hands raised defensively in front of his face. "If we taught Naruto to Henge (illusion), Bunshin (clone) and Kawarimi (physically swap with nearby objects) tonight, he'd be on a Genin team by next week, with some of those same assholes that you were just plotting revenge against. He's just that strong already."

"Uh ohhh. I guess it's for the best but isn't it bad for his body?" Alsea looked worried.

Naruto felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

"As you know, Naruto's got some pretty radical healing abilities," Hiruzen hedged carefully. "He'd be dead several dozen times over otherwise. It also appears that under a gravity increase that would really bother a normal, fully grown man, Naruto's just mildly inconvenienced."

"So far," added Naruto. "I mean all we've done is walk around and climb some stairs. I have felt weighed down but not like... flattened."

Alsea nodded her understanding, but then she gave Naruto a serious look. "I'll be giving you a checkup once a week, Narukun. I don't play games with developing children."

Naruto beamed at the woman because the way she was treating him was... He wasn't going to dwell on it because it was just a little too close to the sun for him.

Alsea saw Naruto's face and she knew in that moment that she was going to completely spoil this kid rotten. He was a sweetheart despite it all and it hurt her heart in a big way. Rising to her feet, she dusted off her knees as she looked around the room. "We're going to need to make your apartment a home for you at some point, Narukun. Even fully furnished, your apartment doesn't have any personal touches."

"I lived a hunter gatherer lifestyle for a year," Naruto pointed out. "I'd probably enjoy some fruit or veggie plants out on the balcony."

"I'm impressed, Naruto. That was both a very self aware thing you just said and a fantastic hobby to have for a ninja." Hiruzen was a gardener himself so he enjoyed the idea of passing on some experience.

"Well I was trying to treat you your own age," Alsea said, with her nose up in the air. "I was thinking more along the lines of a favorite blanket or Kami forbid a stuffed animal."

"Heh heh." Naruto had no idea where that silly giggle came from but it was heartfelt. "Okay Alsea... Bring on my missed childhood, and I promise I'll try to embrace it."

"Good boy." Alsea was grateful Naruto wasn't disdainful of young comfort. She didn't like the idea of him being alone all the damned time. Then she remembered that he'd lived in the woods, all alone, for an entire year, by choice, and she almost dashed over to squeeze the boy again.

Half an hour later, Alsea and Hiruzen were walking down the stairs and out of Naruto's apartment.

"How is Naruto so well-adjusted? He shouldn't be coping anywhere near as well as he is." Alsea really had no idea how any of that boy was possible at all.

Hiruzen looked surprised by the question. "Alsea... Surely you know that he isn't? That boy's messed up six ways to Sunday, and I'd be willing to bet the Kage seat that he's crying even as we speak."

Alsea was a mother and yet she couldn't figure this one out. "But... why now?"

"Because you hugged him Alsea san. Because you hugged him tightly and you meant it... and it was the most beautiful, painful thing that he's ever experienced." With that said, Hiruzen beamed at Alsea, patted her on the shoulder affectionately, and then body flickered out of existence.

Alsea knew only one thing for sure in that moment... Shikamaru was getting a massive hugging the next time she saw him...

Naruto awoke at the crack of dawn with the assistance of an old clock radio that came with the apartment, and released exceptionally tinny music throughout the room.

After padding sleepily into the kitchen, he drank some juice and ate some granola (which was just incredible stuff, like wow, where have you been all my life). After thoroughly enjoying his breakfast, he had the unexpectedly surreal experience of putting on a brand-new set of workout gear.

Imagine that... a set of clothing used purely for physical activity…

Considering the fact that Naruto used to wear bargain barrel rags before he ran away and then animal furs out in the forest, putting on a brand-new pair of running shoes, shorts and a T-shirt, felt completely bizarre. After a short period of time where Naruto thought he might break into tears again, he shook off the feeling and returned to the task at hand.

The night before, Naruto had found out from Hiruzen that the Anbu compound's perimeter wall was about five Kilometers long, in a very large octagon. Starting today, Naruto was going to jog around it every morning, while he got used to the added gravity that he was wearing.

Ugh…

It wasn't the extra gravity that sucked. It was the resistance seals that were the el primo suckage of this partnership. Naruto felt like he was running through neck deep mud, and the harder he pushed the more it pushed back. Eventually, he found himself running a marathon pace just so that he could make headway, and despite what it must've looked like to others, he was hauling ass physically.

Like he said earlier. Ugh…

When Naruto finally made it back to his apartment, he took part in an event that almost made everything else worth it. He had a shower... and... it... was... glorious! For several minutes in a row, he just stood there stunned and tickled pink that all this warm, clean, potable water was dropping on his head like magic. Then his stomach rumbled, and Naruto knew that it was time to move.

Naruto ended up eating and packing his lunch at exactly the same time. It really was going to be hard to get through all of this food because he was always going to be running around. Nonetheless, Naruto had a healthy respect for food of any variety nowadays, so food this nutritious would never, ever go to waste. Naruto scarfed down three eggs with cheese, tomatoes and spinach and two slices of bread to go with it. It was absolutely delicious, so Naruto had a smile a mile wide as he got dressed for school.

Tenten's advice was the driving force behind his clothing choice for the day. Over time they'd bargained back and forth about how bright a color blue he was willing to wear. In the end, Tenten's pleading look had succeeded in getting him into a color called sapphire blue. It was upper middle spectrum bright, but Naruto could deal with it because for the most part it was only on the sleeves. The shirt itself was black until just above the elbows and then blue to the end of the sleeves. Of course, Naruto planned on laying down some charcoal-colored tape until only three or four inches of it remained over his elbows. What he couldn't do anything about was the fact that his shirt had a stiff vertical collar starting just in front of his shoulder and the inside of it was the same color blue...

Tenten had begged him to be cool with it, because his eyes, his eyes! She'd pleaded with a puppy dog pout and everything... of course Naruto had fallen apart like wet tissue paper at that point, and would've done anything to make it stop. Naruto threw on a pair of charcoal gray pants and then taped them tightly around his boots with black tape.

There, done... Naruto was ready.

…..

Naruto was freaking out!

The problem was that he'd only spoken to like one kid his age (Tenten) in his life, and he was under the impression that she was both mature and responsible for her age. Naruto didn't know how to deal with teddy bear huggers!

Pull up dammit!

Taking a very deep breath, Naruto forced himself to walk out the front door. Then he marched down the steps with authority, because he was a ninja trainee, and he could handle this! Naruto felt the sun on his face as he exited the stairwell and it almost felt like it was infecting him with optimism.

Click whirr…..

"Oh, that's so adorable! Narukun's first day at the Ninja Academy! This is photo op gold and I'm keeping it forever!"

"Ahem. Good morning, Naruto."

Naruto looked down from the bright blue sky, to find two very unexpected people standing in front of him. Sarutobi Hiruzen and Alsea Nara had camped out in front of his apartment, where they'd been waiting for him with cameras in hand.

"Oh me, me, let me get in on this moment," Alsea called out enthusiastically. She ran over and turned the still stunned Naruto to a forty-five-degree angle so that she could crouch behind him and throw her arms over his shoulders from behind. "Smile Naruto... That's how pictures work," Alsea whispered into his ear.

While Naruto blushed just a bit, he did manage to smile when the woman behind him tickled his ribs. "Thank you," Naruto said, in a quiet voice. "This means a lot to me."

"We both know that," Alsea whispered in return. "That's why it's so fun! Hang on, I'll take a photo of you and the Hokage." Alsea ran over and began pushing the man over.

About a minute later, the two of them had taken a pretty normal photo, with the Hokage's hand on his right shoulder, so it was officially time to go.

Alsea smiled down at Naruto, while dusting off his perfectly clean shoulders. "Okay Narukun. Just keep in mind that the children are only trying to make friends and impress each other. Don't be mean or embarrass anyone and you'll be fine."

"That's good advice and I'll follow it. Thanks again guys." Naruto nodded at both Alsea and Hiruzen and then began walking down the road. All of the sudden, the idea of school seemed far less tiring than what he'd just gone through. Naruto wondered if that was their intention all along.

Ino was sitting with a newly returned Hinata on her right-hand side and Sakura on her left, completing the newly formed "team pervert plus Sakura." Sitting with Sakura was natural since they were childhood friends, but now Ino also knew that there was a lot going on with Hinata behind her blushing, and she wanted to draw her out.

Sakura seemed confused by the new addition, but she was a kind soul under all of the well-trained Haruno style bitchiness, so she hadn't given Ino much trouble over her decision. It was a good thing too since Hinata and Ino had important business to attend to that Sakura didn't even know about yet... They had a boy on the mind and for the first time since school first started it definitely wasn't Sasuke Uchiha. It was a strong, mysterious and fox fur covered shadow in the dark that had saved them both and had been so kind about it. It was the quiet voice in the forest that had calmly informed them that he was going to act as a distraction, even though he was definitely not a ninja. It was the boy who despite being outnumbered and at a disadvantage had saved them both and then survived to never tell the tale...

Ino shivered at the thought and thought she saw Hinata's lips form just the smallest version of a knowing smile. Oh yeah... This was going to be fun…

To Be Continued...

Author's Note:

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