A/N: Chapter Seven. I hope you've enjoyed my story, I only have one more chapter left! The epilogue. Yes, it has been fun. Enjoy the chapter, it will probably be pretty long. The beginning is Casey's POV, and the break signals the start of Derek's POV. Uh, and anything in italics (besides the lyrics) is a sort of flashback or someone thinking back. Oh and the language gets a little spicy, nothing much. You've probably already seen it in previous chapters, it isn't that strong. Just a warning though. Thought I should. Thanks for reading, and review! Review like the wind! Love you all. -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek, and I don't own 'Mary' by Saving Jane. My life sucks. (jk)

Chapter Seven

Can You Love Me Any Way?

Everybody's gotta change

I'm just doing what I can

Could you love me anyway?

Saturday finally came. I was trying to relax after what had to be the longest week of my life. Lizzie and I were lounging together on the couch absentmindedly watching whatever was on TV. The remote was sitting untouched on my knee. My mom and George were downstairs doing something. Marti was upstairs in her room. Edwin was in his room as well. I wasn't quite sure where Derek was. So Lizzie and I were alone downstairs.

Then out of nowhere Derek leaped over the back of the couch and landed squarely beside me. My eyes didn't even leave the screen of the TV. Not that what was on was incredibly interesting. I just refused to let him steal my attention.

"What the heck is this?" Derek exclaimed, and I just shrugged. Derek said something incomprehensible and snatched the remote off my leg.

"You can have it." I replied without moving.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lizzie looking at me, wide-eyed, with her mouth hanging open. Derek had only sat back against the couch. He had the remote cluched firmly in his hand, but hadn't used it. The look on his face seemed to express his confusion about my reaction. I still hadn't moved.

Then Edwin came thundering down the stairs saying something about wanted to show Lizzie something. Lizzie immediately hopped up and followed him upstairs.

As soon as they were gone--as if he had been waiting--Derek replied, "What happened to the old Casey? The one that would fight with me over the remote and kick me out of her room?"

It was a question that kind of begged for a response along the lines of: what happened to the old Derek? The one who would barge into my room instead of knocking. Who would yell and scream and call me names, instead of asking now I was. What happened to him?

Instead I had to ask, "Do you not like it?"

"Do you not like it?"

How could she ask me that? Of all things she could ask me, she had to ask me that. Why would she ask me that? She probably couldn't care less what I thought about her. Why was she asking me? Why was she asking at all? I thought the whole point of her new outlook was to not care what everyone else thought about her.

The truth is...I don't really know what to tell her. I couldn't just come right out and say I loved it. I couldn't jump up and tell her that she was driving me out of my mind. I'd freak her out. She'd probably slap me.

I can't say she looked amazing the last few days. I can't say I find her newfound confidence incredibly sexy. I can't. It's impossible. I'm incapable. I want to tell her she's gorgeous, always has been, and I think she's wonderful. But I can't.

She doesn't know how hard it has been for me. She doesn't know how much it hurt to let her date Sam, how hard it was to watch them together. But the only thing I couldn't stand--more than them together--was seeing her upset. That was why I gave in.

Then she comes home looking so completely crushed, that any rude comment I might have had got stuck in my throat. To hear that Sam was the reason for that pain reflected in her eyes was almost too much. It took all I had not to just go out and pummel him right then and there. While Sam was my best friend and I trusted him with almost everything, I had never trusted him with Casey. I knew him better than she did. She never really knew the real Sam. But I did. And that was why I didn't want them dating. I knew he would hurt her. When she told me what he did, it hurt like hell because I could of stopped him and I didn't.

That whole night I was restless. I was trying to think of something I could do, something I could say, anything that would ease her hurt feelings. Then she comes out with a new air about her. Almost like nothing happened. I, however, knew better. She still had that pain in her eyes. At first I thought she was just trying to get back at Sam. To break up with him and throw it in his face that he had lost something special. Something amazing. Something he would never see again for the rest of his life. Casey is unique, one of a kind. And he let her slip away. I realized it wasn't a shot aimed at Sam, it was a change in lifestyle.

It drove me crazy. I already thought she was angelic. A really sappy and crappy description, but that was what I thought of her. She was heavenly. I believed that. The little wardrobe changes only accented her already unmistakable beauty. It drove me straight out of my mind. And I wasn't alone. I hated the thoughts going through the heads of the guys at school. How did I know what they were thinking? Heck, I was thinking the same thing. But they had no excuse to look at her like that. They don't love her. I do.

I don't know when that happened exactly. That's a sad thought. I can't pinpoint when and where I fell in love with my stepsister. That day I told her I did what I did because she was family nearly killed me. I stuttered the word out so sloppily she must have heard it. Family, ha, she wasn't family to me. I couldn't think of her as family. I never had, and I never would. I couldn't. Wouldn't.

She asked me why I was being nice to her. She stumped me only because I couldn't tell her the truth. I had to make something up and quickly. I couldn't grasp the words that would be accepted by her. I had to figure out something she would believe. Hard luck. I'm a horrible liar. Horrible. Terrible. Especially when it comes to hiding things from Casey. She's too good at figuring me out. She probably saw right through me.

I helped her that first day because I know how much she was hurting. I had been trying to make her hate me for I don't know how long, and I could have come up with some dreadfully hurtful remark that would have hurt her badly. But I didn't. I couldn't. I had one reason and one reason alone. I have seen Casey hurt. I have seen Casey upset. But I have never in my life seen her that hurt. It was a deep hurt. A heart breaking kind of hurt. And I knew it because the hurt I've seen on Casey never reached her eyes. It was a surface hurt. It was the kind of hurt that fades in a second. And this wasn't it. It filled her eyes, clouding them with pain. I couldn't add to that. I couldn't bear to make her hurt any worse.

I know I took her by surprise. I saw the confusion that set in. It's still there. I've got her questioning my intentions. Maybe that's a good thing, but it could very well be a bad thing. I'm not sure I even want to find out which one it is.

Her most insistent curiosity must be about my little spat--if you could call it that, it's probably more dramatic than that--with Sam. When I heard him talking about getting Casey back, I wanted to stop those thoughts right in their tracks. His first comment to the 'guys', formally known as our friends, was that Casey was just a little stressed. I think he expected her to come crawling back to him. When she didn't, he started plotting. I know that makes him sound very maniacal, but it was the truth. Casey's new style and attitude was attractive to everyone that got a taste of it. I admit it. Any hot-blooded male would admit to it. Sam expected it was for him. Make him drool a little, let the jealousy flare, and then take him back. No go. So he came to her.

I wasn't going to let her go through that alone. Sure she had Emily, but that girl has never been faced with the pain Casey had. She couldn't understand. I admit I haven't either but the pain I saw in Casey nearly broke my heart. I'm a sap when it comes to her. But only when it comes to her. Warning her wasn't enough. I wanted to be there for her. Moral support. That's what I wanted to be for her.

That was all I wanted to be. A supportive presence. Nothing more. I wasn't even going to speak. I was just going to sit there. But then he started questioning her. I was proud of her strength and force behind her words. Just no. No. She didn't want him. Then he questioned...I shut him down, at least tried to. Then he had to drag me into it.

Of course I don't hate her. Never have, never will. I care about her more than he can comprehend. I've always cared more about her than he did. How much do I care? I care so damn much it hurts. Oh God, how it hurts. Because I know she doesn't feel the same. And I'm too damn scared to risk letting it show.

I never thought Sam could tell. I thought I had hidden it well enough. I guess I didn't. Sam saw it. And he tried to hurt both of us by bringing it up and out in the open. I could have punched him right there. But instead I gave him a chance to redeem himself by making some excuse to me. He passed on that chance.

I pulled him out of the cafeteria and into the empty hallway, and into the empty hallway, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"What? Something you want to keep from Casey?" Sam smirked.

"You're being an ass." I stated, "A full-fledged, selfish, egotistical ass. You can't just leave her alone, can you? Haven't you hurt her enough?"

"What did I do that was so bad?" Sam questioned, "What have I done that you haven't done?"

"Casey is a special person. You had something really amazing and you just took it for granted."

"Well, I'm sure you'd do something different if you were in my shoes." Sam replied, sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Of course I would. If I had someone like Casey I wouldn't let it go. I would hold on to it for dear life, because I know if I was lucky enough to have someone so incredible give me a shot--when I am no where close to deserving it--it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm not going to get another chance."

"See the problem with that--even as sincere as it sounds--is that we're not talking about someone like Casey, we're talking about Casey herself."

"You just don't get it."

"What don't I get? My best friend is hung up on my girlfriend, who just happens to be his stepsister! Can you tell me what I don't get?"

"It's not about me! That's what you don't get. This is about how shitty you treated Casey! She is wonderful and you had her. But you had to go after some other girl. You lost a good thing and you don't even really care."

"Did you not just hear me try to get her back? She rejected me in there!"

"No, you thought because she bared a little skin and put a little spice into her attitude that suddenly she'd give something up to you that she wouldn't before." I snapped. I was so pissed and I could barely control myself, "You're just thinking of her as a piece of ass. She is so much more than that and you don't see it."

"But you do? You think no one sees the way you look at her? You're practically drooling over her. You're only angry because she's giving everybody a good show and she might just go for some other guy, and not you. The truth is you see her the same way everyone else: just another hot girl you could screw."

I snapped. I swung before I knew what I was doing. Then Sam was flailing backward and I was shaking the sharp pain, which jolted through me, out of my hand.

"Shit." Sam called, as his hand flew to his mouth.

"You want to know the way I see Casey? Huh? You want to know? Sure, she's attractive. Drop dead gorgeous. But I see something nobody else takes the time to notice. Because no one really noticed until she changed. She's incredibly intelligent. Smarter than anyone I know. She's a kind and caring person. She's loving. She's witty and cunning. She's funny. She's everything and anything anyone could ever want. But you didn't see any of that. Or at the very least you lost sight of it. That was why you lost her. You aren't going to get her back. And if you want to drag me into it you're going to regret it." I yelled at Sam, right up in his face, "It doesn't even matter what I think of Casey. It's not about me! But you will have to deal with me if you ever try to even talk to Casey again."

I didn't realize until afterward that my little rant had probably only further convinced Sam of my misplaced affections. He just mad me so angry. I couldn't help myself. But I did my part. The way Sam slunk away, was answer enough. He was going to leave Casey alone. And that was all I cared about.

Then there was talking to Casey on the stairs. I got so close to telling her the truth. I almost did. I just figured it would be easier to let her figure it out on her own. Although I doubted she ever would. I really got her questioning things with those 'right time' comments. Which again could be a good or bad thing. But do I really want to know? Yes or no. I actually, now that I come to think of it, do. So yes. Yes. I want to know what she's thinking, what's going on in her head. Because it's complete chaos in mine. The only way to do that is to get it out there. I need to take a page out of Casey's look, show a little strength. Put it out there.

What do I say? Do I say, I love this new Casey--she's a bit feistier and sexy--but I also love the old Casey because I could see how amazing she was back then just as clearly as now? Or do I say it doesn't matter what she wears or how she acts, she's still Casey, in essence, she's still my Casey--the one I fell in love with? How do I tell her that she's given me something no other girl has ever given me? How do I express the way she makes me feel? How do I get the urgency of my point across? How do I make everything clear to her?

"Of course I like it." I murmured.

"Is that the only reason you've been acting different?" Casey asked, a disappointment in her voice. She was expecting a yes, wasn't she? How could she think that?

"No, of course not." I shook my head, "How could you think that?"

"Well, you've never treated me this way, not until I started this whole thing up."

"Do you realize that the day you started 'this whole thing' up coincides with the day after I saw you more painfully upset than I have ever seen you?" I replied, emotion thick in my voice. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I might have a little compassion in me? That maybe I saw how hurt you were and I didn't, truly didn't, want to add to it?"

"But you've never..."

"You've never had your boyfriend cheat on you before. You've never been hurt that bad before. I've never had to see you that hurt before." I interrupted, correcting whatever thought she was going to voice.

"And you suddenly cared? Just like that?" Casey replied, turning to face me.

"I always cared. You just never saw it." I said without thinking. Well, there it is. It's out there.

"You've always cared?" Casey asked, her eyes darting around the room, but not looking toward me.

"Just let it go." I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"But it does matter. It does. Don't try to shake me off. I want to know."

"You want to know what? That I care about you? Yes, I care about you. I care about you enough to not treat you like yesterday's trash. I care enough to tell off my best friend when he treats you that way. I care enough to punch him in the face when he decided it was okay to talk about you like you were nothing but a piece of meat open for the taking. I care enough to lay off you when you're hurting. I care, I care a whole damn lot. There. You happy?"

"You care enough to treat me like an actual human being?"

I laughed, "Of course I do, I haven't been too much of a jerk the last few days have I?"

"No, you haven't. And you've really been surprising me. I always thought Sam was the nice one. Sam was the one who would be concerned about my situation. Sam was the thoughtful one..."

"And I was the inconsiderate, insensitive asshole?"

"Pretty much, yes." Casey smiled, "You two really switched places this last week. I never thought I'd ever see you this way."

"What way?" I questioned.

"A caring way. A kind and thoughtful way. A caring, kind, thoughtful toward me way. It's just not in your usual character." Casey answered quietly, "You know all my life I've hardly ever been wrong about anything or anyone. And now I...I have to admit I was wrong about you. I was so wrong."

"Well, there's a lot I don't let anyone see about me. A lot people don't know about me. I have my reputation to uphold you know." I joked.

"What don't people know about you?" Casey responded.

"You mean, what don't you know about me." I corrected and she nodded her head, her eyes cast downward, looking embarrassed. "It isn't anything to be embarrassed about. You want to know and I'll tell you."

"Really? You'll tell me?" Casey asked looking up at me. "What about your reputation?"

"You'll keep it quiet won't you? You can keep a secret right?" I questioned, my head tilted and eyebrows raised.

"Yes." Came her simple answer.

"It's a big secret. But if you can handle it..." I began, she nodded vigorously. I sighed.

This was my chance. I was going to tell her. She was watching me expectantly. This was my opportunity and I was going to snatch it before I missed it. I probably wouldn't get another chance at an open minded Casey willfully listening. Here it goes.

"It's...it's about you. And I know you're probably...you're probably thinking...what in the world could I possibly be talking about? Right?" I took a deep breath and continued, "What could any of this have to do with you? The truth is...this has always been about you. And it's so hard to just come out an tell you this. You don't even know how hard this is... Casey, I...I...I don't want...I don't want you to think this is, isn't sincere...because it so is. I just...it's hard to find the words...God you must think I'm an idiot...stumbling over myself..."

"I don't think you're an idiot, Derek. Incapable of comprehensible speech maybe, but not an idiot." Casey replied, smiling and laughing lightly. And that was encouragement enough.

"I don't know when or where or how this happened. I just know it did. And I can't fight it anymore. I've struggled with it, and I've finally accepted it. Casey, I...I fell...I fell in love with you."

The look on her face was almost indescribable. There were a million different things flashing across her eyes as she absorbed what I said. She looked away, her eyes blinking wildly. I could tell she was struggling with what I had said. I just sat there silently, waiting for her to say something, anything. I wanted some verbal response, something. I didn't care what it was, I just needed something. I didn't care if she felt the same anymore. It felt good to get it off my chest. That was enough for me at that moment. I just needed her to say something.

But she didn't say anything.

A/N: And I leave you there. What's going to happen? We'll see. I'll let you stew. Heck, you can't blame me. I need something for my last chapter. Because chapter eight is my last chapter, the epilogue you know. So review. Once I get some reviews I'll post the last chappie. So review. REVIEW! Ha. Thanks for reading. I love you guys. -Mac