Housemates, a Final Fantasy XV fanfic by Raberba girl
Part 10 (rough draft)
Ignis woke before his alarm because one of the vermin had gotten hold of something that jingled and had apparently decided it would be a splendid idea to tear the jingling item to shreds right outside Ignis's bedroom at four in the morning.
After Ignis had evicted the creature from the house, along with another that had been lounging on the table, and then after he had thoroughly disinfected said table, he went back to bed. However, he couldn't get to sleep, so after lying there in frustration for about half an hour, he resentfully rose again to start his day.
In the bathroom, he gritted his teeth at the crust of unmentionable material in the toilet bowl, the streaks of soap scum on the shower tiles, the layer of grime in the sink, and the stray flecks of toothpaste spotting the mirror. He'd been waiting and waiting for someone, ANYONE, to notice the filth and clean it up, but he already knew from past experience that the issues would continue to be neglected until he himself finally snapped and scrubbed everything. That would be on top of his usual maintenance of the kitchen, of course, meaning that, other than the random chores Prompto would occasionally perform or the few household tasks that Ignis bullied Gladiolus into or the single task or two every few weeks that he occasionally managed to nag Noctis into doing, Ignis was performing all the household cleaning.
Ignis didn't mind cleaning for its own sake, but he was not a maid. All four of the inhabitants of this house were adults, all four of them had a responsibility to share the workload. He was boggled, not just by his flatmates' laziness, but also by how genuinely blind they seemed to be to the squalor. It was unbearable, and Ignis wasn't sure how long he could hold onto his sanity under these conditions.
Exiting the bathroom, Ignis nearly burst with outrage when he once again found a litter box in his kitchen.
The kitchen was his, he worked so hard to keep it spotless and hygienic. The thought of it getting contaminated with animal waste... At least it wasn't right next to the refrigerator this time, but even being located in the opposite corner from the food preparation area wasn't much better, since that was where the washing machine was and Ignis didn't want his clean clothes getting contaminated, either.
Fuming, Ignis scooped up the litter box, marched upstairs, yanked open the door of the freshmen's bedroom, and pointedly dropped it inside. Then he stormed back downstairs to thoroughly wash his hands and prepare breakfast.
A few minutes later, Prompto came tiptoeing down. "I...Ignis...?"
"Good morning, Prompto," Ignis said without turning around, immediately regretting his brusque tone. It wasn't Prompto he was upset with.
He could practically feel Prompto hovering behind him, leaking waves of anxiety, and felt his own shoulders tense in response. "Spit it out," he finally snapped. "I won't bite." Recognizing the irony, he paused what he was doing, took a few deep breaths, then turned around. "I promise, Prompto, I am not angry with you," he said, gentling his voice.
Prompto fiddled with his own fingers, unable to meet Ignis's eyes as he said hesitantly. "I... The litter box, it-"
"I can't have it in my kitchen, Prompto," Ignis said, keeping his voice low and quiet.
Prompto bit his lip. "Then...in the bathroom, maybe? It's just, um, Greybeard - one of the cats, I mean, he's been having some trouble, uh, holding it, sometimes, so it's easier for him if there's a litter box on both floors instead of just-"
"Prompto," Ignis said, still making an effort to keep his voice soft, "we are not supposed to have pets in this house at all. If Noctis simply kept his cats outside like they should be, then the location of the litter box wouldn't even be an issue."
There was a long pause. Ignis waited warily, hoping that the timid freshman wouldn't be too traumatized. Prompto surprised him by squeezing his own hands together for a moment, raising his head to meet Ignis's eyes, and saying, "Ignis, is it even possible to kick all the cats out and make them stay out?"
"Not without Noctis's cooperation," Ignis said sourly.
"Right, and that's probably never gonna happen. So...next best option? Maybe the bathroom? ...Please?"
Ignis stared. "Are you...using puppy eyes on me?"
Prompto immediately blushed and looked away again, but didn't flee as Ignis had half-expected. "Is it working...?"
"No," Ignis lied sternly. Then, before Prompto could shrink again, he immediately followed up with, "But your logic is. Not that there's any space for the dratted box in the bathroom, but I suppose trying to avoid stepping in it every time I use the sink is preferable to letting my kitchen and laundry area get contaminated. And it's not as if it could make the bathroom much more filthy than it already is..."
"Oh, man, I guess it's been a while since I cleaned anything in there. I'll tackle the bathroom today, Ignis, and I'll try to stay on top of the little litter grains, make sure they don't get tracked all over the house and stuff."
Ignis hadn't been expecting Prompto to go from coddling Noctis to offering to clean the entire bathroom. It didn't feel right, since Ignis hadn't finished making amends for traumatizing him the night of the duel. "We'll clean the bathroom together. Splitting the work will make it go faster."
Prompto beamed at him, and all of Ignis's resentment seemed to evaporate like smoke, at least for the moment.
o.o.o
Prompto had come home from work late, but Ignis had saved a plate of dinner for him. He was eating it at the table when the bathroom door opened and Gladio came out in his usual cloud of wonderfully-scented personal care products.
Unfortunately, what he left behind was a disaster. Prompto, who was positioned to have a prime view of it, winced in dismay. He and Ignis had just cleaned the bathroom two days ago, but now it was a mess again: the shower curtain was still scrunched to the side, which Ignis said encouraged mold growth; Gladio's underwear was hanging from the tub faucet and a stained washcloth from the shower head; even from where he was, Prompto could tell that water was puddled on the floor where Gladio had let himself drip beyond the confines of the bath mat; a damp towel had been left crammed on the rod next to the hand towel; there were bits of debris around the wastebasket where someone (probably Noct) hadn't paid enough attention to make sure that the trash actually ended up where it had been aimed; there was a wad of crumpled up plastic packaging from the previous batch of toilet paper that no one had bothered to throw away, and one of the rolls from the newly opened package had fallen out and partially unrolled across the floor; there was toothpaste flecked across the mirror again, various toiletries scattered untidily around the sink, and dirty clothes in piles on the floor; and someone had apparently recently stepped in the litter box and failed to clean up the trail of escaped litter.
Prompto wearily made a plan to pick everything up while Gladio was out, hopefully before Ignis needed to use the bathroom and saw the damage. Unfortunately, Ignis seemed to have been lying in wait - as soon as Gladio started crossing over to the front door, Ignis swooped in to look at the bathroom, then started yelling.
"Don't tell me you intend to just walk out and leave the bathroom like this!"
"I'm in a hurry," Gladio growled, donning a jacket that seemed designed to do a better job of making its wearer look good than keeping them warm.
"Oh no, you are not leaving this house until you have put the bathroom to rights."
"It's fine, Ignis, I'll do it when I get back. I've got a date, I am not making a lady wait on me."
"This is not fine!" Ignis shouted, jabbing his finger at the bathroom. "You have perfectly good hands, Gladiolus, and you will use them to put all your belongings where they're supposed to go!"
"I can do it," Prompto tried to say, but the other two talked over him without even seeming to be aware he'd spoken. He looked over at Noct, who had been on the living room floor playing with the black kitten, Ultima, when the drama started. Ultima had fled into hiding under the couch by this time, and Noct looked like he really wanted to escape to his room, but Gladio was blocking the way to the stairs.
"I am tired of your nagging, Scientia! I'll pick up my clothes when I get a chance, but I have a life outside of catering to your every whim!"
"It's not a whim to expect basic courtesy from you! Prompto and I just cleaned that room after a month of your laziness, and now you're expecting us clean up after you again! I am not your slave, Amicitia!"
"No one asked you to be! It's a tiny bathroom with four people using it; it's going to be messy!"
"It doesn't HAVE to be! If you'd just pick up after yourself like an ADULT-"
"Give it a rest, Ignis!" Noct burst in, and Prompto buried his face in his arms. He hated this, hated it. "We're not your slaves, either!" Noct stormed onward. "We moved here for school, not to spend 24/7 playing Cinderella to a nitpicky CONTROL FREAK."
"You think you're Cinderella?!" Ignis practically shrieked. "You, who barely lifts a finger around here?! I'm the one who spends hours cooking and cleaning for your thankless- Get BACK here, Gladiolus, I am NOT done with you yet."
Gladio, who had been trying to sneak out, slammed the door shut so hard that the house shook (Prompto flinched) and came marching back. "All right, Scientia, let's have this out. How much more do I have to pay you to shut your fucking mouth? You're getting compensated for the cooking, I do everything you ask me when it comes to housework-"
"Oh, case in point, is it?!" Ignis bellowed, gesturing violently at the bathroom again. Prompto, watching from a gap between his arms, felt so trapped. Not just about being unable to escape the yelling, but also because none of them seemed to even be hearing each other.
"I do it when I have TIME!" Gladio bellowed back. "You just have an incredible knack for trying to saddle me with chores when I'm BUSY!"
"Maybe you should start getting ready EARLIER, then!"
"I would have if I wasn't escorting my little sister's friend home to make sure she didn't get jumped by her stalker ex!"
That seemed to catch Ignis off guard, but only for half a second. "And is that your excuse for all the other times you just walked away from your messes, leaving them for me to clean up?"
"I don't work on your schedule, Ignis."
"You certainly don't! Out doing God knows what at all hours of the night, while this one," he flung a hand toward Noct, "keeps staying up all night and wondering why he's too tired to pick up after himself the next day-"
"I don't stay up on purpose," Noct protested. "I have insomnia."
"Well, you're certainly not helping matters by filling your room with blue light and noise at night," Ignis pointed out.
"I've tried doing good 'sleep hygiene' or whatever, it doesn't work. I can't sleep and then I'm tired all the time and I'm using up all my spoons just to try to pass a few of my classes, but then you're always on my back about the stupidest stuff like where I put my hair gel or what bottle I drank out of, or you're nagging me to vacuum the whole house right when I finally figured out what to write about for my lit paper-"
"How do you expect to manage when you're living on your own? Functional adults get their work done and their affairs managed before they play-"
" 'Hi Yvonne,' " Gladio read out pointedly as he typed, " 'sorry for standing you up, but my asshole roomie's monopolizing my entire evening again'-"
"Unlike you, Ignis, my parents won't just throw me in the deep end before I've gotten my shit together-!"
"You know nothing about my-!"
"Great! Now my WHOLE NIGHT'S free, I'd say we should all binge-clean the house right fucking now except Ignis'll just pitch the same fit all over again next month-!"
"Prompto's crying."
In the sudden silence, Prompto was mortified to find that the little whimpers and sniffles he couldn't fully stifle were suddenly all too obvious. He shrank into himself, face still buried in his arms, desperate to take refuge in the dark but knowing there wasn't really any escape. Even if he had the power to teleport somewhere else, that wouldn't change the fact that his three roommates, the only friends he had, darn near the only people in the world who gave a crap about him, hated each other's guts.
"Prompto..." He sensed Noct kneeling beside him, a hand coming to rest feather-light on the small of his back. "I'm sorry, dude, we didn't mean to yell-"
"Prom, hey, you know none of us are mad at you, right?" Gladio said urgently.
"If anything," Ignis grumbled, "you're the only one in this house who-"
"Why are you all so mean to each other?!" Prompto burst out of his shadowed sanctuary, his face feeling stiff and hot and gross as he looked around at the three of them. "Why can't-?! God... If you only just...!" He made a gross sniffle, trying only half-successfully to suck the snot back into his nose before he leaked it all over the table. Someone handed him a napkin. He wiped his face with it. He drew in a shaky breath, and something inside him seemed to snap. He flung out a hand, gesturing mindlessly with the snot-stained napkin, and started yelling.
"Why the hell do you hate each other so much?! You're all fucking amazing, but you waste all your time tearing each other apart and I HATE it! Gladio, stop a minute and look at people instead of always waiting for them to spell things out! Ignis needs help, okay?! There's four of us and Ignis spends so much time cleaning up after us even though he's got a full-time courseload and side gig work he's got to keep up with! You can't- You, too, Noct; I love you, but you guys don't have a butler or housekeepers anymore, you can't just leave crap lying around and expect it to magically go back where it belongs. If it's picked up by the time you get back, that's because Ignis did it, or me! Noct, I know you're tired, Gladio, I know you're busy, and I'll help you, I will, but at least try not to leave more of a mess than you have to!"
"Precisely," Ignis said, sounding vindicated. "And-"
"Oh no, no, Ignis," Prompto said fiercely. "I love you, too, but you have to let some things go. The house is never going to be spotless. Your standards are really high, like excessive, and it looks nice but it's not attainable when you've got four guys and twenty cats running around, and I am losing my mind trying to keep up with you and cover for them! Yeah, we need to scrub the toilet and stuff more than once a month, but the bathroom is not an interior design set piece! I'm done wiping the sink dry every time I use it, and trying to cram everyone's toiletries into those teeny-tiny cabinets to keep them out of sight! I'm not doing it anymore!"
He paused to breathe, because he was getting a little light-headed, but instead of shouting him down like he expected, all three of the other men were just staring at him in silent astonishment. Ignis, frowning, was mouthing something that looked like, "Wiping the sink dry...?"
Prompto was already screwed; he might as well just keep going. Stressed out and too full of emotions, he felt more tears leaking down his face. "All of you are so nice, you're so nice. Iggy and Gladio, you've been better parents to me than my own parents ever were. Noct, I know I'm probably not your best friend, but you're mine, you know; you're pretty much the only real friend I've ever had. I had nothing when I came here, my parents- my foster parents kicked me out because I aged out of the system and they weren't getting stipend checks for me anymore. I only got that scholarship as a fucking affirmative action charity case, they needed to fill their quota for Niffs and my application got picked. If I can't get a real job by the time I graduate, then I'll be on the fucking street.
"You guys have everything, even you, Ignis; you've got families who love you and a place to go if things don't work out. You've got looks and friends and connections, and on top of all that, you're just good people. Living here could be so good if you all just- If you liked each other and helped each other, but instead you all think the others are the enemy and I'm always caught in the middle and I hate it so much and I just-!"
He got too choked up to continue and sat there for a while with his face in his hands, trying to stop crying. He kept waiting for someone else to say something, but no one did. After a while, Gladio came over and rested a warm, heavy hand on his head, which felt nice. Then Noct put a cat in his lap, and he hugged it, and that felt nice, too. He heard Ignis sitting down nearby in a respectful sort of way.
Finally, because he eventually regained some semblance of control and still no one was talking, he mumbled impulsively, "Today's my birthday." He deliberately hadn't told anyone, not wanting to imply that he was expecting them to make a big deal out of it or anything. But it would have been nice to have a quietly pleasant day with no fights on his birthday.
He was expecting either more silence or maybe some awkward felicitations, but instead, his feeble little announcement seemed to bring everyone to life. "It's your what?!" Noct gasped.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ignis demanded.
"You have plans, right?" Gladio said forcefully at almost the same time. "You only didn't tell us because you've already got plans with other friends, right? Except you just said you don't have any other friends; dammit, Prompto...!"
"It's fine," Prompto mumbled into the cat's fur. "I didn't want to make a big deal, I just-"
"Here's what we're going to do," Ignis started firmly, then paused. "That is, if everyone is amenable to the idea, I propose that we take Prompto out to eat and keep all conversation civil. We'll have a formal meeting tomorrow evening to resolve the conflict that's come up. Does anyone have any objections?"
"No," Noct said, "but I vote that we have birthday cake and ice cream at the meeting."
"Seconded," Gladio said, and Ignis nodded. Prompto felt too dazed to react. "As for tonight," Gladio went on, his mouth quirking in a wry smile, "I happen to already have a dinner reservation available. Seems like a shame to waste it just because I had to cancel on my original date."
"Is that okay, Prompto?" Noct asked.
Prompto nodded.
TBC
A/N: Sooo, FFN has deliberately stopped emailing notifications, including story updates. You can theoretically turn them back on, but FFN just turns them right back off again after a few weeks. (They can't make up their minds on what the actual time limit is; it says two different things in two different places.) You're probably better off manually checking your subscription list or my author profile for updates from now on, rather than relying on FFN to be a functional web site.