N/A: Really important! If you missed it on April 1st! I uploaded the real chapter about an hour after I posted the April Fools chapter. If you didn't see that one you should go back and read it before this one, otherwise, you'll be a little confused.

Anyway!

ONWARDS!

Chapter 14: The Fate of Draco Malfoy

Day 1

Draco stumbled into a fence as they landed. Then the smell hit him. He nearly retched.

"Good merlin what is that?!" he cried as he covered his mouth and nose with his hand. Narcissa immediately smacked his arm, though her pinched face showed just how much the smell was affecting her as well.

"That," Hestia began with a chuckle, "is aue' du sheep shite," she said, nodding her head to a pile of manure sacks stacked not far from the fence. "Richard uses it in his garden. Swears by the stuff. You get used to the smell eventually."

"Who's Richard?" Draco asked worriedly.

"The owner of this farm," Hestia said with a shrug.

"A farm?!" Draco cried in horror. "You've taken us to a bloody farm?!"

"Draco!" Narcissa hissed venomously. Then she bowed her head. "Thank you, Ms. Hestia, for helping us."

"Don't thank me yet," she said with a grin. "You haven't even seen who we'll be staying with."

"There are others?" Narcissa asked nervously.

"Come on." Hestia insisted before leading the way up the back path towards the back shed. Its door was crooked, with a horseshoe tacked over it. As Hestia stepped inside the smell from outside was banished by the smell of baking plums. Draco's mouth started watering instantly. "I have to admit, I'm glad Richard and Petunia hit it off. The baking had drastically improved morale."

Draco froze.

"Petunia?" he began with a slight quiver in his voice. "Not… Petunia Evans Petunia… surely…"

"Oh? Have you met?" Hestia asked with a cheerful grin. But there was a glint in her eyes that made Draco pretty certain that things were going exactly how she'd planned.

"What's wrong Draco dear?"

"We have to get out of here." Draco wheezed. "Potter's sent us to the gallows!"

"What are you-" Narcissa said with a raised eyebrow. Suddenly a tall woman opened the interior door to the shed.

"Hestia is that- Oh!" Petunia cried. "Goodness! New housemates?"

"Yeah," Hestia said before she gently pushed the mother and son into the kitchen. It was old-fashioned but tasteful. The window was open, yet the smell was much nicer on this side of the house. A pie was sitting on the window sill, cooling in the spring frost. "Narcissa and Draco Malfoy."

"Malfoy?!" Petunia cried in shock, nearly dropping the bowl of dough she was holding. "Surely it's not-"

"Yep! The same one who tried to kill Dumbledore!" Hestia said with a cheerful grin. Draco was slowly trying to shrink out of view. Petunia flicked her eyes between the pair with a nebulous expression.

"Pet? What's- oh! New guests!" Richard cried with a grin. Draco jumped at his booming voice. He paled as he drank in the burly farmer's frame. The man looked like he could snap him in half with his bare hands, no knee required. "Names Richard McFraser! Welcome ta my farm!"

"Thank you, sir," Narcissa said before offering her hand. The man shook it with surprising gentleness. Then he looked back to petunia and frowned. "What's wrong Pet?"

"How exactly is it that you came here?" Petunia asked slowly.

"Po-Harry was captured by snatchers and brought to our manor," Narcissa began casually as she could. Petunia really did drop the bowl then as her hands flew up to her mouth.

"Was he injured?! Where was his uncle?! What about Dudley was he with him?!" Petunia rattled off.

"Hush pet let em speak." Richard insisted even as he guided her into one of the kitchen chairs.

"He was… a little worse for wear," Narcissa admitted quietly.

"They said he was allergic to bees?" Draco offered. Petunia rose an eyebrow.

"Bees? No. As far as I know, he's not allergic to anything."

"Sirius was there, disguised as a dog," Narcissa recalled. Petunia nodded.

"Dudley was there too," Draco assured her. "He was alright. A bit bruised but otherwise fine." Petunia placed a hand on her chest and sighed in relief.

"So how long are ya gonna be with us?" Richard asked casually as he could. Narcissa looked around then back to Hestia.

"I… am not sure." she finally admitted with no small amount of apprehension. Richard nodded.

"That's alright. Well, I'll get yer things all set up." he said, "got a room upstairs still free for you miss. Yer boy 'll have ta share with Riggly though."

"Riggly… Pike?" Draco asked with a blink.

"Aye," Richard confirmed before he scratched his beard. "He's some fancy journalist yeah? From the Weekly Puppet?"

"Daily Prophet." Draco corrected.

"That's the one."

"Do you not that the paper out here?" Draco asked wearily.

"Oh, sure we do lad!" Richard said with a booming laugh, "just not your folk's kind!"

"Your… folk's…" Draco said slowly "are… are you a muggle?!"

"Aye." Richard said with a grin, "I had no idea you lot even existed until Pet introduced me to Hestia. Imagine my surprise!" Draco looked moment from sicking up.

"Mother… we're on a muggle farm in the middle of nowhere." He said pitifully.

"Yes." Narcissa agreed but slowly a smile bloomed over her face, however exhausted, "when Potter offers protection he certainly doesn't do it in halves. I can think of no safer place." Richard smiled and tipped his head at her. Draco gave his mother an incredulous and horrified look

"We're on a MUGGLE FARM?!" He reiterated. Narcissa's face grew thunderous.

"Yes! Be grateful it's not a jail cell or a grave!" She snarled.

"Listen to your mother lad," Richard said as he folded his beefy arms and gave him a warning look. "She risked her neck to get you somewhere safe. The least ya could do is show some respect." Draco paled and looked down at his shoes. Petunia narrowed her eyes at Draco before she huffed.

"Well, I suppose I'll get the spare linens down and get your beds made."

"And I'll get your bags." Richard offered.

"I'm afraid we don't have any," Narcissa said with a wince. She was just starting to realize how very out of place she was in her fancy silk robes. Draco wasn't much better in his three-piece with crystal buttons.

"I see," Richard said. "Well, I think I've got some old shirts that'll fit your boy. Might be a bit big on him but I'm sure he'll grow into em." Draco pulled a face, which Narcissa instinctfully whacked his arm for. He grimaced before nodding.

"Thank you, sir."

"I have some casual clothes you could use for now." Petunia offered. She gave Narcissa a once over and smiled. "But do tell me who your tailor is. Adora is grand, but yours are stunning."

"You know Adora Malkins!?" Narcissa said with a grin. "She does my summer collection!"

"Oh isn't she marvellous?" Petunia cried with a wide grin before the pair walked off, discussing cuts and fabrics and seams. Draco watched his mother interact with Potter's crazy aunt in shock and awe. If he tried something like that he'd be murdered in his sleep. A hand suddenly landed on his shoulder making him Yelp.

"Well, come on lad." Richard said with a grin, towering over the young wizard. "let's get you settled." Draco gulped.

Day 3

Draco woke with a start as a rooster suddenly crowed into his room.

"Fenwick!" Riggly groaned. "Get out of here you bloody bird!" Then he scooped up the rooster standing on their window sill and chucked it out the window. It made several panicky squawking noises and fluttered madly before landing on the ground with nary a scratch. "Menace."

"How does it even get up here?" Draco murmured as he went over and poked his head out of the window. The closest roof was the woodshed, several feet below.

"Sheer bloody tenacity." Riggly offered with a grumble before he snapped the window shut. Draco pulled on the musty old shirt Richard had given him two days previous with a groan. It hung off of him like old elephant skin. And the smell. He could gag it was so bad. He walked downstairs slowly, trying not to feel sorry for himself. But it was a hard thing. He'd never been so humiliated before. As he walked down the stairs he sidestepped Hedwig. The bird really didn't like him, bloody menace that she was. Leave it to Potter to train his owl to bite!

"Mornin' lads!" Richard crowed loudly. Draco winced.

"Pipe down rich were not awake yet!" Hestia grumbled. Richard chuckled as he put the coffee pot on the table.

"Yer all city folk and it shows"

"Tea?" Draco whined.

"Mind that tone." Petunia said with pursed lips even as she slips the cozy-covered pot his way. Draco poured it quickly before moaning in delight, sliding a few inches down his chair. There was nothing like a good milky tea in the morning. And he had to admit, Potter's aunt made a bloody fantastic milky tea. A plate of food landed in front of him. A large pile of beans with hash, some toast and two hard-boiled eggs. He scowled, dreaming of eggs benedict with salad greens. There was a rustle of feathers as Hedwig flew around to Petunia's setting, snatching up a piece of bacon. The woman grinned and petted the bird with an indulgent chuckle.

"Finish that up lad, then yer coming out with me."

"Wot?" Draco wheezed. "I'm not helping you with anything! I'm a wizard, not a bloody farmer!"

"Draco!" Narcissa snapped. The teen looked over at his mother helplessly. "Richard is letting us stay in his house and protecting us. The least you could do is help with some chores," Draco opened his mouth, "without complaining." She finished. Draco gave his mother a look of utter horror before he turned to Richard with bitter resentment.

"Fine." He muttered before he bit into his toast grumpily.

Draco pulled on a pair of borrowed rain books with a sneer. They were smelly and covered in muck.

"Don't worry about the dirt lad, they'll only get worse after all." Richard offered with a firm slap on his back. It nearly tossed him into the mud. Draco stood and shuffled his feet uneasily.

"What are we doing anyway?"

"We're gonna be putting up a new section of fence." Richard offered, "it's been rotting out fee a while now and I'm afraid ole Bella might break through it one of these days.

"Whose ole' Bella?" Draco asked worriedly.

MMMMOOOO!

Draco screamed and stumbled away from the loud noise that had come from right behind his head. The large guernsey cow stood there, blinking rather stupidly, chewing her cud with disinterest.

"Oi!" Richard shouted "Bella! Get yer arse back here you bloody menace!" Then he ran over, as the cow seemed to realize that she'd drawn attention to herself and turned away. But Richard had a practiced speed about him as he quickly pulled a rope around her neck. "Here." He insisted before handing the lead to Draco. The boy stared down the rope to the cow and swallowed thickly. Then he shakily took the rope. The cow tossed her head and he screamed and dropped it again. "Oi! Hold her steady now!" Richard insisted before putting the lead back in his hand and wrapping his fist around Draco's. "I gotta go see if she did break through the bloody fence. Of if she figured out how to open the latch again."

"Again?! But..." Draco crow in shock. He looked back over the cow who had gone back to chewing with a disinterested face. "It's just a stupid animal."

"Her name is Bella." Richard corrected with a. Firm look. "An that there is the smartest cow in the world. So hold her tight." Then Richard walked away. Draco stared at the cow in front of him and grimaced.

"Hello… Cow." He said as casually as he hoped he sounded. The cow continued to stare at him vapidly. Draco stared back. Then he scowled. "The next time I see Potter I'm gonna punch him in the face! I'm sure he thinks this is hilarious! But I'll show him!" The cow let out another mournful moo. Draco's face fell. "I'm talking to a bloody cow… I've only been here two days and I'm already losing my bloody mind."

"Alright there, lad?" Richard called as he marched up to him again, "didn't do anything funny while I was gone."

"No. She just stood there." Draco griped.

"Ah, she was good to you then," Richard said as he patted the cow's shoulder. Then suddenly she leaned forward, stuck her younger out and licked Draco's face. The boy screeched in fear, rage, and disgust in equal parts and ran backwards away from the beast until he tripped and landed in the cold wet mud with a loud squelch. Richard bent over double in laughter as the cow went back to chewing vapidly. "Well, that explains it! She likes you! Did the same thing to Hestia when they met!" Draco growled angrily and stood up.

"Fix your own stupid fence!" He cried angrily before stomping away back toward the house. Richard blinked before he sighed.

"Come on ole girl. Back in yer stall, ya go."

Draco was curled under his blanket sniffling. He rubbed his face furiously. Why did everything bad always happen to him?! Why did he have to be in this god-awful place?!

"Draco… darling? Are you alright?" Narcissa questions with a quiet tap on the door.

"Go away!" Draco snapped angrily. Narcissa flinched.

"Oh, Draco darling it's not that bad."

"Yes, it is!" Darco shrieked before he whipped the covers off and sent his mother his most formidable death glare, "I hate it here! I hate this stupid farm! With the stupid cow! And the bloody rooster! And this stupid room! I hate it! And I hate you! I didn't ask you to take me to this bloody place! Now I'm stuck on a muggle farm in the middle of nowhere getting covered in muck! This is all your fault!"

"That is quite enough, young man." Petunia tutted from the doorway, where she stood with tightly pursed lips, firmly crossed arms, and a cold frown. Draco flinch and shrunk under her gaze. Narcissa opened her mouth but Petunia gestured for her to be silent. Petunia took two steps forward. "Please apologize to your mother for saying such cruel things." Draco looked down at the quilt and muttered a quiet apology. "I'm not sure you understand how difficult this has been for your mother as well." Draco gave her a weird look. "Who do you think has been helping with cooking and cleaning lately?"

"You… you have?" Draco asked in shock.

"I even learned how to use an eclectic stove," Narcissa muttered with a slight chuckle.

"Electric." petunia corrected with a small smile.

"Right sorry. Electric," Narcissa repeated with a sigh.

"Yer not made for farm work." Richard suddenly piped up, coming to stand in the doorway with his tartan cap in his hands. "An I should have seen that. My apologies lad."

"I think perhaps this has all been a bit too overwhelming is all." Petunia remarked. "They've only been here for 2 days. It's a big adjustment." she came forward and put a surprisingly gentle hand on Draco's shoulder. "Why don't you help me inside tomorrow. Then maybe you'll try helping Richard again?" she offered. Draco looked around. His mother gave him a slight begging look. Then Draco nodded. She visibly sagged with relief. "Excellent!" Petunia cried. "Now take a nap."

"A nap?" Draco asked in confusion.

"You've had a rough morning." Petunia offered. "So take a nap to refresh. We'll start again in the morning." Draco slowly nodded. His mother gave a small kiss on his forehead and then left with petunia. Richard gave him a nod before closing the door. Draco flopped back into his bed in shock.

Maybe he was wrong about Petunia Evans.

Draco woke with a start an hour later to a crashing noise. He groggily stumbled down the stairs and blinked blearily kitchen when suddenly there was something clinging to his legs.

"Oh, Kreacher! Oh, Kreacher Dobby is -hic- so sorry!" the house elf sobbed into Draco's baggy pyjama bottoms.

"Uhhh," he said raspily. He blinked again and looked around then he spotted Petunia crying at the kitchen table and rubbed his eyes. "Wot appended?"

"The Potter family house-elf died a few days ago." Narcissa offered, "apparently he was very dear to them. The el-Dobby just found out himself and he needed some… liquid courage to inform Petunia." Draco looked down at the elf, with his bloodshot teary eyes, dribbling nose and rosy cheeks and gapped. He'd never seen an elf drunk before. He didn't even know they could get drunk. He reached down and pulled the creature up onto his feet where he swayed wobbly. He looked at Dobby and found himself suddenly wishing he'd treated the elf better when he was younger. He wasn't sure how this next bit would be received.

"What's wrong?" he tried. The elf didn't even seem to recognize him with his glassy eyes.

"Dobby -hic- failed Harry Potter." the elf sobbed, "Dobby told Harry Potter that Dobby would -hic- keep Kreacher well!"

"Well, how did he die?" Draco asked. Dobby shook his head sadly.

"Bellatrix Lestrange stabbed him," he said bitterly. "After Kreacher called her a bad -hic- witch."

"Bloody hell…." Petunia murmured in horror. Draco blinked in shock. Granted They'd only been here three days but he'd never heard Petunia swear before. It was beyond bizarre. Draco looked back at the elf who was messily rubbing his nose all over his sweater. One of several in fact. Blimey, he looked strange with all those hats.

"It wasn't your fault." Draco finally murmured. Dobby looked at him with his bloodshot eyes and gobsmacked face before he wrapped his thin arms back around Draco's legs and gave him a proper hug and blubbered loudly into his knees, occasionally punctuated by a hiccup. The teen winced as he tried very hard not to think about just how much elf snot was getting into his pyjamas and gave the drunk house elf a few awkward pats on the back. Hestia came forward to rescue Draco after a few moments.

"Let's get you to bed Dobs. I wouldn't envy your hangover." she offered with a half grimace half chuckle.

"Dobby is quite tired." the elf admitted, "Dobby went to -hic- three wrong houses before he -hic- found the right one."

"Definitely rest then." Petunia insisted thickly, though she continued to weep. Narcissa looked over at Draco.

"Draco darling why don't you help me finish up dinner. Nothing too complicated."

"Alright." the teen offered before he shuffled into the kitchen behind his mother.

Day 4

Draco stared at the contraption in front of him with wide fearful eyes. It looked like some kind of superweapon! Or a very strange mechanical cauldron?

"Now!" Petunia began as she set a basket of laundry down in front of him. "Make sure you separate the whites from the colours. Whites need warm water, while colours need cold. For the white load, you should add a fabric softener in addition to detergent. Colours just use the detergent. The machine is a little finicky about the soap so only use ¾ the recommended amount. The drawer for putting in the soaps is here. Just pull it out, pour the soap and push it back in. If it sticks out a bit when you slide it back in, it's not quite aligned so just pull it out, jiggle it around a bit and try again. Now the door doesn't always lock properly, so put a good amount of force when you push the lock button. Also, the water doesn't always come out as strong as it aught. If it makes a chugging noise give it a good slam on the top and it should stop. Hestia says it's been rattling funny when the first spin starts. She says a good kick to the bottom sorts it out." when she finished the speech Draco stared at her with horrified confusion. "Why don't I do the first load so you understand what I'm talking about?" she offered. The teen nodded rapidly.

Day 7

Draco hit his thumb again.

He blurted out a string of colourful curses and shook his hand out with a whimper.

"Yer suppose to hit nails lad!" Richard joked with his booming laugh.

"I didn't even know what a hammer was three days ago, don't judge me," Draco whined.

"Oh, I'd definitely judge ya for that lad." Richard snickered. "honestly. I've never seen someone so terrified. The look on yer face. You'd think the shed was a torture room!"

"I have one of those in my basement." Draco reminded him coldly. "And let me tell you, it doesn't look that far off."

"Aye…" Richard said as he adjusted his beanie. "I fergot yer aunt is that crazed woman who tortured those two inta insanity… ya wouldn't know it from yer mother."

"I have another older aunt whose supposedly much more stable." Draco offered as he picked up with fallen hammer again. "But she was disowned for marrying a muggle… mother hasn't seen or spoken to her since Hogwarts."

"It's a mad world ya live in." Richard remarked with a shake of his head, "Where love is punished just cause it's fer the 'wrong sort'."

"Yeah…" Draco murmured quietly. Suddenly his hat was pulled off his head. He grabbed for it and pulled. But the resistance was too great and he was pulled backwards into the mud. "BELLA!" The cow continued to chew on the hat with disinterest. "Give it back you bloody!" Draco cried as he strained and pulled under the cow's head. Richard leaned on the half-repaired fence and laughed. Eventually, Draco huffed and released his grip. "Fine! Keep it." And then she dropped it, soggy with saliva, right on his face. "ARRRRGGGH!"

"Go on ya dozy beast!" Richard bellowed. Bella mood at him then slowly turned and walked away. Draco stood up looking murderous.

"I hate that cow." He said darkly. Richard was snickering the rest of the afternoon.

Day 9

Draco looked down at the list in front of him with a slightly worried frown.

Chores to be done

Do laundry

Clean the dishes

Mop kitchen

Feed chickens

Repair woodshed (remove & replace boards, repaint.)

It wasn't a long list. But the item at the top filled his with dread. The washing machine was evil! And the dryer was worse! It make strange noises and rumbled and crashed about. No matter how convenient Hestia insisted it was, Draco would rather wash things by hand. It was probably safer. He was waiting for the things to gain sentience and gobble him up.

"Good morning!" Dobby suddenly piped up as he waltz into Draco and Riggly's room and padded over to Riggly's desk.

"Hey," Draco murmured. Dobby turned back with a raised eyebrow.

"You sound troubled. Can Dobby help with something?"

"Can you make the washing machine less terrifying?" Draco muttered darkly. Dobby laughed.

"Oh, Dobby knows what you mean! Dobby has told Petunia so many times that those vile things are dangerous! Richard should replace them. They're very old, Dobby can tell. New ones would run better and be less rumbly and loud." Dobby prattled, nodding his head vigorously, making the massive stack of hats on his head sway. Draco huffed.

"Not much to be done then. At least right now."

"No Dobby is afraid not." The elf agreed as he turned back to ruffling through Riggly's paper, finally retrieving the folder he wanted. "Dobby is taking this back to Kingsley. Good luck with the laundry!"

"Thanks," Draco said genuinely. The elf gave him a salute before disappearing with a crack. Draco huffed and looked back down at his list. Then he stood. They weren't gonna finish themselves.

Draco sat down for dinner and immediately scarfed down his mashed potatoes.

"Draco! Slow down." Narcissa barked. "You'll choke!" The teen swallowed roughly.

"Sorry." He said casually, even as he filled his fork again. "I'm starving."

"Ya did good work today, lad," Richard remarked with a grin. "The shed looks marvellous."

"Thanks," he murmured with a small smile. He did feel a bit of pride in himself for managing to get it done all on his own. It was a pretty big job. But he'd managed to do it. And he hadn't hit his thumb with the hammer once! Narcissa glanced at him and Draco blushed as he saw the pride glittering in her eyes as well.

Maybe this wasn't such a horrible place after all.

Day 11

"Morning Bella ole girl," Draco muttered as he walked up to the cow's stall with a fresh bale of hay and the first bucket of water. It'd take three more to fill her trough for the day. Draco stopped as he saw her though. She looked a little listless. She was lying down and not moving much. And she wasn't chewing which was very strange. "Bella?" he went to scratch her head and she didn't turn towards him like she usually did. Draco immediately jumped up. "Rich! Richard!" he cried as he made a mad dash for the kitchen.

"What is it lad?" he asked.

"Something's wrong with Bella!" Draco wheezed in a panic.

Draco twisted his hat in his hands nervously as the vet examined Bella.

"You were right." the man finally muttered. "It's TDS."

"I thought she was giving less…" Richard muttered under his breath. "Bit early isn't though?"

"A bit. But I'm not surprised. You're the fifth case I've called on this week." the vet confirmed.

"It has been a pretty mild winter," Richard admitted. "Damn midges."

"I'll set her up with some fluids, and an anti-inflammatory." the vet explained. Draco flinched as he pulled out a needle. Then Richard came forward. The teen flinched again as Richard helped the vet tie poor Bella up. Then the vet stabbed her in the neck. Draco yelped in horror which made Richard look over at him with a calm expression.

"Don't worry lad. She's alright. Can you go fetch us some more water? Two buckets." Draco nodded and ran away. When he returned Bella was no longer tied up, Richard was holding the bottle of fluids over his head and rubbing Bella's side whispering a few calming phrases in Gaelic. Draco pulled the trough closer to her head as the vet instructed. Then suddenly Richard pulled the needle out of her neck. Draco flinched as he saw his bloody hand. Put Richard just patted Bella and rubbed her neck. The cow shifted a bit.

"Let's give her a bit of encouragement." the vet offered before he dipped his hand into one of his pockets and pulled out a bag of white crystals. "Just a bit of salt." He pulled out a handful and then stuck his hand into Bella's mouth. Draco made a face as the cow salivated all over the man's hand. Then finally she leaned down and took a few slow drinks of her water.

"So she's gonna be okay?" Draco finally piped up. The vet gave him a grin.

"Don't worry boy. She'll be back to her stubborn old self before you know it. She just got a fever. It's caused by flies and mosquitoes. They're out earlier than usual this year. It's cause of all the rain I'm sure. We usually give vaccines in the early spring months. But it jumped the gun this year. She'll be fine in three days."

"Can I stay with her?" Draco asked nervously. "It's just… well I don't much like being alone when I'm sick…"

"Course you can lad," Richard assured him with a smile as he gave a final pat on Bella's neck. "I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

Narcissa came into the dining room and frowned. Everyone was settled at the table except for Draco.

"Don't worry about the lad. I went to check on him and he's fast asleep already," Richard said with a smile.

"He was really quite worried about her." Petunia agreed.

"I'll say!" Riggly cried with a snicker. "He wouldn't even leave the bloody stall!"

"He's still with Bella?!" Narcissa cried in shock.

"There snuggled up together," Hestia confirmed with a grin. "Bella's even got her head in his lap!" Narcissa blinked and turned for the backdoor. She walked around the house to the barn and poked her head around into Bella's stall. Sure enough, Draco was wrapped up, his feet under a blanket, his torso snuggled into two of Richard's massive sweaters. And, true to Hestia's exclamation, in his lap was Bella's head. The cow even looked like she had a smile on her face. Draco had one hand on her neck and occasionally his hand twitched as if he'd been petting her before he fell asleep. Narcissa smiled and walked back inside.

"You know…" Hestia muttered as dinner wound to a close. "If you told me a week ago that Draco Malfoy would be sleeping in a barn, snuggling with a cow, I would have said you'd gone absolutely barmy."

"Sometimes it takes great change to see just what it is you're truly capable of." Petunia offered with a knowing smile.

N/A: Hello readers! Happy Friday! I hope you're all happy to see petunia again! and seeing her work with Richard into turning draco into a functioning human being is truly entertaining.

cgolnertheniffler: Thanks a bunch!

RenegadeForLife & chao-hellsing: The April Fools chapter was indeed a prequel of what's to come. I plan to post the fic in its entirety upon its completion, so it will be a few months yet.

Aslan's Princess: if you wanna see a really sick April Fools joke, use the way back to see my April fools from two years ago for Under Lock and Key.

So many tearful sobbing fans :)

The rest of the fic is still being written, but I will say it is indeed a found family with a few twists and turns thrown in for good measure (including another off the wall pairing)

but I won't say anything else beyond that!

see you all next week!

don't forget to keep on reading!

-TTC