AN: Forever thankful that you are all still reading and leaving reviews. I have this story planned to the end and I promise with everything I have I will not leave it unfinished.
I am so sorry that I've been very poor with recent updates, trying to find the time to write has proven difficult between work, mum duties, studying and well, life. I miss writing and I aim to give myself some time each week to write, so fingers crossed i'll be back frequently soon.
Hope everyone is well!
Chapter One Hundred and One - Hold it lightly
Later that evening once Jason and Alison had settled into their rooms for the night Henry started cleaning away the rubbish from the kitchen, taking a damp cloth and wiping away the crumbs from the table and swilling out his and Elizabeths empty wine glasses. Once he was content that the kitchen was clean he flicked off the lights and took himself towards the stairs in the kitchen.
A sense of familiarity set in as he climbed the first few steps, his eyes cast over the room below him, the routine of cleaning the house down before going to bed was something he used to perceive as mundane but now, now he could appreciate the sense of security it offered, for it meant you had something to look after, somewhere you belonged. He gave a little half smile as he reached the top of the stairs and walked towards the kids rooms. He slowly pushed the doors open one after the other, peering in on both of them, staring for a few moments, watching them sleep deeply, just like he did when they were many years younger.
Henry then continued to walk towards the guest room where his things were, he stepped inside and flicked the lights on, heading over to his bags on the bed, pulling the zip back and searching for a few items, night clothes, toothbrush, reading glasses, and a few other little things. He gathered them all up and walked quietly across the hallway towards Elizabeth's room. He titled his head as he listed outside the door, he couldn't hear the shower running so assumed she was out. He quietly knocked before pushing it open.
Elizabeth was sat at the dressing table in her blue silk night-dress. Her hair was slightly damp and brushed down her back, her golden skin looked dewy under the evening light. She smiled effortlessly through the mirror to Henry as he walked into the room.
'You don't have to knock' she spoke calmly. She continued to place her creams on her face, gently massaging them into her skin as Henry walked further into the room. He placed his things on the bedside table and took his toothbrush into the ensuite. Elizabeth paused her actions and watched him, dipping her head slightly, the simple action of placing his things where they belonged had a painful reminder of why they were no longer there.
'You ok?' He asked softly as he returned to the room, pulling his t-shirt over his head and swapping his trousers for his pyjama shorts.
'Hmm' she pressed her lips together, reaching for her moisturiser, opening it to continue her skin care routine. Henrys eyes narrowed on her, his gaze lingering for a few moments, giving her space to speak out.
'So I take it you're staying in here tonight' she teased with a devilish giggle. Henry rolled his eyes and chuckled at her. He walked around to her side of the bed, sitting on the edge, behind her. He playfully nudged her in response to her words.
'I can go if you want?' He asked
Elizabeth turned on the spot and shook her head immediately 'No, no. No I don't want that' she giggled.
'I didn't think so' he winked. His arm stretched out and captured her hand in his.
'Now you've changed the topic, lets circle back. Are you ok?' He asked lightly. She sighed inwardly and shook her head for a moment. She couldn't deny that her old ways wanted to kick in, she wanted to deny it and tell him everything was ok, but where had that gotten them before?
'You having to bring stuff in, or put your toothbrush away, it's just a painful reminder the past. Well, present I suppose, I mean we are still divorced' she sighed heavily. 'Sometimes the little things like that just fill me with regret, guilt for what happened between us. It stops the happiness for a moment' she continued, dipping her head as she spoke.
He tugged gently at her hand to get her attention, her eyes raked up over his body, stopping when she caught sight of his deep honey pot orbs. He smiled lightly at her as he squeezed her hand once more. 'Do you remember the poem my mom used to have in the bathroom?' He asked.
Elizabeth furrowed her brow and chuckled in confusion 'No' she lingered on the vowel as she tried to foretell where this was going.
'I do, every single word of it. I used to read it every day, she had it framed and on the window ledge, so every morning and night when I brushed my teeth I remember reading it. It was written by Whitney Hanson, it said - You must keep moving forward. There isn't time to hover in places that no longer serve your needs or emotions, you are not a helicopter, you are an airplane and if you stop moving you'll crash. Disregard the uneasy feeling that looms from the unknown and take to the sky.' He spoke in buttery tones as he relayed the poem to her.
Elizabeth gently closed her eyes to refine her senses, allowing the words to linger in her mind and sink into her skin.
'I've seen the view from up there, it's spectacular' he whispered. Elizabeth peeled her eyes open at the loss of contact from Henrys hands. She watched with a furrow brow and her lips pressed into her mouth as he stretched over the bed, pulling something close within the palm of his hand and returning to his position. He shuffled forward a little to the edge and let his hands hang freely between his parted legs.
'I've got you a little something. I got it ages ago, it was meant to be your gift to celebrate our wedding anniversary but we missed the opportunity to celebrate that. However, I held onto it, it felt like it belonged to you so I didn't really know what to do at the time. I have carried it on my person everyday since we split, incase their was an opportunity where I could gift it to you. There have been plenty of times I've contemplated giving you this, but it never felt like the right moment, now it does.' He paused. He pulled his hand up and turned his fits, opening his palm and revealing the contents.
'Oh my-' she gasped, tears pricking at her eyes instantly as her mind tossed over every ounce of love and kindness he showed her.
In his place lay a delicate ring, a thin, plain silver band looped around, meeting in the middle accompanied by three small emerald gemstones. Each of them glistening in the evening light.
'It's an eternity ring, each stone is a representation of my love for you. The love that I felt in the past, the love I feel in the present and the love I will feel in the future, because I love you so much Elizabeth, always have an I always will.' He paused a moment, swallowing his emotion before he continued 'And when I say I love you I don't mean for that to hold the same significance as it does when I say it casually, I mean it without hesitation, I love you. And not in the 'we feel like we have to say it at a special occasion' kind of way, in the coffee on a Sunday morning kinda way, in the extra smiles when you come home, in the foot rubs under the table. I love you in the language of everyday things' his eyes watered as he spoke from the heart.
Elizabeth dripped her head forward, resting it on his hands as she cried at his words. Her hands gripped at his forearms as she allowed herself to get lost in her emotions, but comforted by his love. Henry pulled at her arms, drawing her up to her feet and pulling her into his body. He cupped his hand tight and held onto the ring as he held her close. Their tears and love mixing in the space between them.
'I love you' she whimpered into his shoulder. She pulled back sniffled, her loving hand resting on his cheek as her thumb wiped away his tears. 'I love you so much' she whispered. Her lips crashed onto his, her hands slipping around his neck as she kissed him deeply, their love for one another finally anchoring them together once again. Henrys hands held her against him, his lips tingling against hers just like they used to all those years ago.
Elizabeth pulled back and smiled happily down at him. He pulled his closed fist between them and opened it once again.
'I'll love you for eternity, if you'll allow me' he asked and she nodded.
'I want nothing more' Elizabeth took the ring from his hand and held it between her thumb and finger, his words echoing in her head as she cast her eyes of the beauty of it once again.
'I don't expect you to wear it, maybe place it on the necklace with your wedding band? We can find a moment in the future to slip it on' he reassured her. She nodded calmly as she stepped back and walked to her dressing table, slipping the ring onto the silver chain which held her wedding an engagement ring.
'I've been fighting for people to stay for so long that I thought I forgot how to just love someone, how to be loved. Thank you, for reminding me that I've always been enough.' Her words thick as she spoke through the lump of emotion in her throat. Henry smiled softly at her words.
'You said earlier that you feel like those little reminds of things like me bring clothes steal the happiness' he repeated her words and she nodded. She inhaled and sniffled as she turned all her attention back to him, climbing onto the bed and sitting next to him, leaning her self against him, hands entwined in his lap as he spoke into the silence of the night.
'When you left the session with Dr Sherman a few weeks ago I told her about the ring. Confessed that I was so afraid of losing this moment, letting the smile on your face fade, or the softness of your laugh slip through my fingers. I wanted to hold onto the happiness too but, Dr Sherman said, you have to be gentle with happiness because as soon as you attempt to capture it, it changes. Happiness will not be kept, it does not have to stay. Forever is not in its nature. So let it go when it leaves, learn to contend with its nature and it will come more naturally. So when it does come, hold it lightly, and enjoy.'