Again, thank you everyone who reviewed. Apologies for the long delay, I've been on holiday.
I've given up trying to get the URL to my website on here – it's on my bio, if you're interested in joining.
Also, I'm going to try posting shorter but more regular chapters. Enjoy. And all suggestions for future events are gratefully received – my plot bunny tires quickly.
Chapter 3 – Sith Lords and Daisies
In the Shire, some young hobbits, not yet in their tweens, were chasing each other happily through some fields. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and butterflies fluttering merrily through the flowers, making the most of their short little lives.
One of the hobbits, skipping happily through the flowers in such a joyful way that you can probably imagine the cheery soundtrack, found an extremely peculiar thing. Behind a patch of trees, hidden from the village of Hobbiton nearby, a spacecraft had just landed.
Considering that little Daisy had never seen an interplanetary spaceship, she might have been excused for not really acknowledging it was there at first. She continued skipping. A moment later, she stopped and frowned, as the image buzzed around her head and her brain tried to find something to do with it. When she finally realized that she had just seen something which not only she, but no-one else in Middle-earth in the history of time, had never seen before, she slowly walked backwards until it became visible again.
The ship's ramp descended. At the same time, the sky seemed to become darker. The birds stopped singing and hastily flew away to buy life insurance. A dark figure emerged from the ship, and strode impressively down the ramp as if it didn't have time for such trifles, but was just humouring it. Music seemed to echo inside Daisy's head.
BOM BOM BOM, BOM BA-BOM, BOM BA-BOM….
The figure reached the bottom of the ramp and looked from side to side. Daisy saw that he wasn't only a dark figure for dramatic effect, but was, in fact, encased in some sort of black suit. His breathing echoed in the still air. He caught sight of Daisy, and strode up to her, stopping right next to her so that she had to crane her neck up to see his helmet.
Which she did, mouth slightly open, eyes wide.
"Greetings, child of Middle-earth," said the figure, "I am from the Star Wars Universe. I most certainly don't come in peace, but that doesn't concern you. Tell me, where can I find a land called…" He glanced at a name written on one of his gloves. "Mordor?"
"…" replied Daisy.
The figure seemed to increase in height, and the shadow surrounding him deepened as though the light realized that bad stuff was about to go down and was getting as far away as possible. "You cannot fool me with silence!" boomed the figure, "I have powers you cannot even imagine! Now unless you wish to suffer slow torture until you are desperate that you had more to tell me, tell me where your leaders are!"
Daisy looked at him. After a moment's consideration, she held out the little pink flower she had picked earlier.
The figure stared at it in surprise, as though he didn't quite know what to do with it. He slowly took it and examined it.
"Thank you, child of the Shire," said the figure slowly, and carefully put it into his pocket. "Now, fear my wrath, or tell me-" He paused, and there was a catch in his echoey breathing as he seemed to actually see her for the first time. "You're very small," he observed.
Daisy nodded.
"Where do you come from?"
Daisy pointed back towards Hobbiton. The figure looked, and then turned back to Daisy.
"Thank you, child. If anyone asks, you did not see me. And when our triumph here is recorded in the Sith archives for all to wonder at, you shall be remembered and whatinthenameoftheforceareyoudoing?"
Having decided that this figure wasn't about to hurt her, eat her or steal her mushrooms, Daisy had thrown her arms around his knees, which was as high as she could reach. The figure squirmed internally, as though nothing in life had given him any suggestions as to how to deal with this kind of situation. After a long awkward moment, it hesitantly patted the top of her curly head.
"I'm Daisy," beamed Daisy from somewhere around his shins.
The figure stared. "Pleasure," it replied eventually.
"Do you want to come and play?"
"Er. I'm a bit occupied with causing havoc in your world right now, but perhaps later."
Daisy released him, beamed, and skipped away to find her friends again. The figure watched her go, and then turned back to where Hobbiton lay in distance. It paused to straighten its cape and draw itself up to full height, and then strode away towards the village. The darkness followed it.
Darth Vader had come to Hobbiton.
BlueDove – It wasn't MEANT to be a plot hole, it was supposed to be a big hole like the one the Emperor was thrown down… but now that you mention it, is that why there are so many big holes in Star Wars buildings? Are they actually plot holes? Hmmm… I must ponder on this…
Bulma Greenleaf - jumps again You're STILL here? Wow! Thanks for following it, and tell your boyfriend if he reads it, he gets virtual brownies.
writeR – OK. Anything for the kids.
Ebon Oleader Wenham – Yes, your little Borrykins is going to be in it… but not for a while. And it's great that it makes you feel good. I buy the Big Issue just to make the vendors happy – it's a really bad magazine…
Bev Baudelaire – I will! Well, I'll carry on working… whether it remains good or not is up to the plot bunny and the Flowers That Be.
Eowyn Skywalker – Don't worry. I haven't forgotten any of them. slightly obvious wink
Freakanature – Who WILL win? Good question! Beats the hell out of me…
Banner – Well, this is quite a debate. Because personally I think he'd prefer Sonic, but my sister is insisting that he'd like Golden Axe… anyone else got comments on Han Solo's favourite video game?
Elly – EVERY Dark Lord should have a unicorn journal.
Precioussss – Oh, been there. So, so often. I think my peers finally decided that yes, I was definitely crazee, when they saw me pretending to ride a dragon (ie running along with my arms outstretched yelling, "Wheeeee!")
xPussyWillowKittenx – I'd be extremely surprised if we didn't. He does heart it, you see.