Chapter 25 – The Ex-Talk

OoO

Sirius had woken up early, not wanting to miss Izzie before she headed for breakfast. He glanced to Moony's bed first but only Remus was lying there on his stomach, limbs spread out. It was funny really, seeing him sleeping like that because once Izzie was with him, he barely moved, and his arm was always protectively over her. He hoped one day, he would be the one holding on to her, holding her in his arms as she slept. His was pulled from his thoughts when he heard footsteps come down the girls' staircase. He pushed himself up the wall and smiled when he saw her appear.

"Good morning, miss Miller. Can I escort you to breakfast?" He asked, holding out his arm with a small bow. His smile disappeared when her face paled. "Izzie?"

"Don't call me Miller." She shivered. "I don't want... it reminds me too much of him."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think." Sirius started to splutter.

"It's okay." She placed her hand on his arm and he shut his mouth. "Izzie, just Izzie." Then she smiled a little. "And since you woke up early for me, then yes you can escort me."

He looped her arm through his with a beaming smile. "Who says I woke up early?" He asked as they stepped out the common room.

"Because I know you, Black." His heart skipped a beat because of that. "I'm guessing you had to set three alarms on your wand just to get you to stir." She smirked.

"It was four actually." He chuckled. "And still wasn't the alarm that woke me." They walked down the steps, the castle was waking up slowly.

"Ah, James threw something at you."

"So, it's not only me you know so well." He scowled.

"Are you seriously jealous about James, your best friend and the boyfriend of my best friend?" She snickered.

"I'm even jealous of Moony and Reggie." He muttered. "I'm jealous because they all got to spend so much time with you. Remus, Reg, Barty..." He said through gritted teeth. "They've known you for years, they had all this time to get to know you, to do things with you."

"Do things with me?" She frowned. They reached the great hall. It was empty for the most part, only a few Ravenclaws sat at the end of the table, near the few professors that were talking to each other. "What do you think they did with me and who?"

"Well." He furrowed his brows as they sat down next to each other. Without thinking about his actions, he started loading her plate with all of her favourites, much to the amusement of Izzie. "I know about Crouch. About you and Moony, which I still can't figure it out -" He frowned as he shook his head. He poured her some pumpkin juice before sprinkling some spices over it. "Then there is my brother."

"Sirius." She gasped, grasping his sleeve. He looked at her with the same frown. "Your brother is gay." She whispered. "I thought you knew that." She smirked.

"Well, yeah but you and Moony had-" He waved his hand. "You know."

"Sex, Black. Sex. You can say it, no need to be coy about it. You never were." She pointed out. But she wasn't angry, she was pursing her lips, hiding a smirk.

"W-what?" He stuttered, looking at her lips.

"You always flaunted your conquests in front of everyone. Showing of your hickey's or telling everyone which cupboard was the best."

"I - I wasn't that bad, was I?"

"Do you want the truth?" He nodded. "I'm putting it mildly."

"I'm sorry." He said looking down. She chuckled and tilted his head back up with her finger.

"You don't have to apologise. It was kind of funny and that way I knew what places to avoid." Sirius chuckled a little and grasped the hand that was lowering from his chin. "But not that I or Remus have to explain ourselves for our past, but I will only say this once." She squeezed his hand. "First of all, Reg and I have never done anything besides kiss on the cheek, even if he wasn't into men, I see him as my brother. Secondly, Remus. Remus and I, like we already told you, were each other's first kiss, in third year. We were each other's first in fourth. But it didn't stop at one time."

Sirius stiffened under her hand, and she started to rub circles over his knuckles.

"We had sex a couple of times in fourth year, but we never strayed from becoming more than friends. Remus is and will always be my best friend. And he's not gay." Sirius looked at her questionably. "He likes girls and boys. Then last year, Barty and I dated but I'm not going to tell more than that. So, that's my love life for you. Two guys intimately and a few kisses here and there."

Sirius turned his hand until their fingers were intertwined.

"So, please stop with the scowling and gritted teeth. I'm not reacting to all of your past hook-ups, except one. And my past was more than just hook-ups."

"I know, I'm sorry." He whispered looking at their hands. "Do you want to know about my past?"

"Gods, no." She laughed. "I think I've seen enough over the past years."

Sirius scowled again without him wanting to. He hated his past and he hated it even more that she knew about it. That she saw him flaunting them around like show horses. All he wanted now was her and now he wished he could erase the past but not only for the girl a few months ago or but all the girls he had hooked up with.

"I wished I had gotten to know you sooner, then I wouldn't have so much-" He stopped talking as she leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

"We can't change the past, Sirius. How much we may want to." She whispered sadly in his ear. "We need to try to let it go and move on."

She was still so close, he could feel her breath on his cheek, the scent of her citrus shampoo filled his nose. Then she pulled back smiling wide and gestured to the table.

"So, what's all this?"

"Oh -" He turned to the food in front of her. He had filled two plates for her full of her favourite food without him even thinking about it. He rubbed his red neck sheepishly. "I thought you might like this."

"I do, they are my favourites but way too much." She chuckled and let his hand go to reach for her spiced pumpkin juice. He felt colder when she let him go but smiled widely at her look of surprise as she sipped the goblet. She licked her top lip before turning to him. And he had a hard time looking away from her wet lips. "How did you know?"

"I've been paying attention." He tried to keep his blush down but failed. But he was happy to note that she had a slight blush too.

"Trying to get to know me, Sirius?" She asked innocently as she popped a blueberry in her mouth.

"I've been trying for almost a year." He smirked stealing a piece of melon from her plate.

"Oi." She slapped his hand. "This is my food." She laughed at his flabbergasted look. Sirius eyes widened before he laughed with her. The great hall was starting to fill. But neither of them noticed the knowing looks of Regulus and Barty as they sat down at the Slytherin table. They didn't even notice Remus, James and Lily sitting down in front of them as she tossed blueberries in his mouth. They only noticed when Remus cleared his throat. In surprise, Sirius nearly choked on a berry and Izzie started to clap his back while laughing. He relished the feeling when her hand stayed a little longer on his back when he stopped choking before she eased away.

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School was over and they were making their way through the train to search for a compartment that was big enough for everyone. Sirius was walking next to her, their arms brushing against each other.

"Are you okay?" He asked when she stifled another yawn.

"Yeah, just a short night."

"Let me help you." He said. She looked at him confused before he grabbed the trunk out of her hand. "I told you I would woo you."

"No, you said you would court me." She snorted a laugh. "And showing your muscles is courting me?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm being chivalrous." He smirked. "And you noticing my muscles is just a bonus." He winked.

She rolled her eyes as she followed Remus into an empty compartment. James and Lily sat down on one side. While Izzie sat between Remus and Sirius across from them. Izzie took out her walkman and headphones and put them on. She glanced at Remus, who had seen her tired eyes early in the morning and nodded with a smile. She curled up into his side and his arm wound around her. She kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet under her. The music played softly in her ears, humming the first two songs before she succumbed to sleep.

Sirius looked longingly at the girl that was sleeping against Moony. She looked so peaceful and relaxed.

"Is that the way I looked at you for years?" James whispered to his redheaded girlfriend.

She smiled softly at him before looking at Sirius. "Yeah." She breathed.

Moony looked up from his book when he heard the couple whispering and turned to his gaze to Sirius. He saw not only longing in his eyes but envy and love. He really loves her.

"Sirius? Pads." He repeated when he didn't look up. He looked away from Izzie with great difficulty. "Give her time, she'll trust you again."

Remus's words were like a wish come true for Sirius, because Izzie moved. She didn't move her head to Sirius, but she let her head fall into Remus's lap and her feet stretched until they rested on Sirius lap. He held back a cheer, but a silly grin crept up on his lips. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, his hands rested on her bare calves while his thumb traced patterns on her skin.

OoO

A few hours later, Izzie woke up safe and rested. She blinked open her eyes and looked straight into Remus's soft eyes. A smile tugged on his lips as he saw her wake up.

"Good nap?"

"Hm, yeah." She hummed sleepily. Then she felt a hand on her calf. She tilted her head a little to see her feet in Sirius's lap, his head was lolled to the side as he slept. Oh. She carefully pulled her legs from his lap, he frowned a little before his face relaxed again. She pushed herself up and saw that Lily and James were gone. "Let me guess, they snuck away for a proper goodbye."

Remus grimaced. "They started their goodbye in front of me and I chased them out."

"You should go too." Remus frowned in confusion. "You won't see Reg until school starts, go spend time with him or he'll be whining to me all summer." She snickered.

"But I won't see you either."

"No, that's true. But you're not in love with me."

"I - what?" Remus turned bright red, stuttering over his words.

She smiled softly at him and kissed his cheek. "We've talked about this, Remus. And I know you better than you know yourself. So, I know you haven't told him. Now go tell him that you love him." She pushed him out of his seat.

He chuckled as he walked to the sliding door. He pushed it open and looked over his shoulder before stepping out. "Do you really want me to tell him or do you just want some alone time with..." He wiggled his brows towards Sirius. Izzie had her wand out so fast; he couldn't dodge the stinging hex she shot at his behind. "I love you too." Remus chuckled after he yelped and scurried out the compartment.

"What was that about?" Sirius groggy voice came next to her.

"Nothing." She leaned back and tugged her wand back in her trouser pocket. "Good nap?"

"Not bad." He grinned. "Did you just hex one of my best friends?"

"He had it coming." She shrugged. She turned to her side, so she was facing him, and he did the same.

"I'm going to miss you." He reached his hand over to tuck away a lose strand of hair before he cupped her cheek. He smiled when she leaned into his touch.

"Maybe you and James can visit Lily when I'm still there."

"What about the rest of the summer?"

She looked away and his hand fell from her cheek. "I'll be at your parents' house. I don't know if I can sneak away."

"I understand. Can you write to me?" He asked as he played with her fingers.

"I guess I can do that." She smiled shyly as she watched their hands. She lifted her head and looked straight in his beautiful grey stormy eyes. "Sirius, -" She breathed but was interrupted as the door slid open. James and Lily walked in giggling and whispering, behind them Peter grumbled as he followed them in. Izzie pulled her hand away and Sirius's face fell. Until she held out her headphones so they could listen together again. He smiled as he scooted closer to hold the headphones to their ears.

OoO

The others had just vacated the compartment as they had reached London. Sirius was about to step out with his trunk before she grasped for his wrist. He turned back with raised eyebrows.

"I'm going to miss you too." She said softly, a light blush covered her cheeks. She reached out to cup his cheek before she stood on her toes to kiss him.

Sirius eyes widened in surprise, and he let his trunk fall to the ground, dropping it on his foot but he didn't care because her lips were on his. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him. He wanted to take a few steps forward, to close the door behind him and lock them both up until school started again. He was just about to deepen the kiss when she pulled back.

"Have a nice summer, Sirius." She said shyly as she rounded him.

"Yeah." He breathed, watching her go. "You too."