As tears go by
.
"Hey, Emma, can I talk to you for a second?" Alaric questioned, after giving the door three knocks and poking his head into the classroom. Emma was alone, she had already released the students for break and was correcting some essays she had passed as homework the day before.
Emma was completely oblivious to all the suffocation Damon was going through at the Boarding House, taking care of a Rose who was looking worse and worse. The vampire was determined to find Jules and demand that she give him the cure for the bite, but he didn't want to leave Rose alone, in pain. So he decided to wait until either Stefan or Elena left school so that he could search for the werewolf.
Alaric, meanwhile, was intrigued by the closeness between Emma and Damon, and was afraid of what might result from this relationship. He decided to confront the girl and find out to what extent she was aware of what was going on.
"Of course", Emma replied, gathering the essays into a folder. The young woman picked up her purse and briefcase, and accompanied her co-worker into the school yard. The two sat on a bench near a fruit tree that was there.
"Emma..." Alaric began, looking hesitant and unsure exactly how to broach the subject with his friend. "What do you know about Damon?"
"I know that he's a vampire, and that there are werewolves in the town" Emma replied, with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"
"Damon is dangerous" Alaric said, "I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to get that close to him".
"You seem quite comfortable being close to him" Emma replied in defiance.
"They're different situations", Alaric replied.
"How?" Emma questioned, and the man sighed, bringing his hands to his hair and combing the strands with his fingers. It would be a rather charming gesture, were it not for the man's frustrated expression.
"We have common goals. People in common to protect".
"Who do you need to protect?" Emma asked, interested and suspicious. Alaric didn't answer, but seemed to think hard about the best answer to give, and that annoyed Emma. "Alaric, who else knows about this stuff? Elena?"
Emma suspected that Stefan was also a vampire, since the boy was Damon's brother and, well, Damon was a vampire. It was pretty expected that Elena knew about her boyfriend's supernatural condition.
"Jeremy too", Alaric replied. If he stopped to think about it, there was no point in keeping Emma in the dark. Rather, it was necessary to get her up to speed with the facts before she got even closer to Damon. "Sheriff Forbes, Caroline and Bonnie too".
"So basically everyone", Emma commented bitterly.
"Jenna doesn't know", Alaric explained, and then faced her with a pleading look. "And I'd rather it stay that way".
"Why?" Emma asked, frowning and raising her shoulders. The man again seemed to rehearse what words would come out of his mouth. He looked worried. "Alaric, what's going on?"
Alaric stared at her for long seconds, mentally debating whether to say everything he knew. Katherine was in the tomb, there was no reason to worry Emma any more than she would already be worried once she knew what he was about to tell her. He resolved, then, to stick to the current problem. He didn't need to talk about Katherine, or about Isobel. The main problem now was Klaus.
"There is a curse" Alaric finally spoke "The curse of the sun and the moon. According to the records we found, the curse dictates that vampires cannot walk on daylight, while werewolves can only transform on the full moon. Hostages to the sun and slaves to the moon".
"Okay..." Emma encouraged the man to keep talking. Alaric sighed.
"According to those same records, should a vampire break the curse, all vampires will be able to walk in sunlight. If a werewolf breaks it, all werewolves will be able to transform when, and if, they want to".
"So the problem with werewolves is that they want to break that curse?"
"Yes, and no. Werewolves weren't really a problem until recently. And even now, they're pretty harmless compared to the real problem".
"What's the real problem?" Emma questioned, growing more and more interested.
"Klaus" Alaric whispered the name, as if the word was a taboo. "Apparently, Klaus is the original vampire. All the other vampires have descended from him in some way. He's quite dangerous and we still don't know how to kill him. Original Vampires don't die with a stake through the heart".
Emma nodded, absorbing what Alaric was telling her. There was a curse, werewolves sought to break it so they could transform at any time, and there was an ancient vampire, the oldest of them all, who wouldn't die by a stake. Emma almost wanted to laugh that one of her references about vampires was correct: they died with a stake driven through the heart. The young woman sighed, still connecting the dots.
"And Klaus wants to break the curse, is that it?" she questioned, and Alaric nodded positively. "What does it take to break that curse?"
"That's where our troubles begin" the man replied, throwing his head back and stretching his neck. "You need a special stone, a witch to perform the ritual and sacrifice. A sacrifice of a vampire, a werewolf... and a human doppelganger".
"Doppelganger?" Emma raised an eyebrow. "Doppelganger as in a copy? That story that some people possess a shadow? An echo?"
"Something like that".
"I'm honestly not surprised when you mention witches and werewolves and magic stones, but I confess I wasn't expecting a doppelganger". Emma commented, and Alaric gave a low laugh.
"Yeah, this town sounds like a bad joke", the man replied. Emma frowned again.
"You said human doppelganger" she pointed out "Does that mean doppelgangers can be vampires, or werewolves?"
"They can definitely be vampires, I don't know how to answer about werewolves" Alaric replied, the image of Katherine fresh in his memory. "For the ritual, though, it must be a human doppelganger". Emma stared at the man, connecting the dots inside her head. A bitter feeling took over the mouth of her stomach and Emma's heart raced.
"Alaric, who is the doppelganger you are trying to protect?"
The man stared at her with those worried greenish eyes, and the shy smile he had broke out on his face.
"Elena".
Emma swallowed dryly and blinked a few times. She took a deep breath and involuntarily locked it in.
"Excuse me", the young woman said, getting up from the bench. She picked up her purse and walked briskly back inside the school building. Alaric tried in vain to shout for her to wait, receiving only curious glances from some students who were eating lunch under a tree. The man scratched his head and pulled his mobile phone from his pocket. He typed a message to Damon.
"Emma knows about Elena and the sacrifice".
Not half a minute later the device vibrated, announcing that Alaric had received a reply.
"Why didn't you keep your mouth shut? On a scale of zero to ten, how much of a problem is Emma going to be?"
Alaric thought for a few minutes before answering, until, taking a deep breath, he typed into the device:
"11"
Damon looked at his phone and snorted angrily, throwing the device away.
"What happened?", Rose questioned.
"Alaric couldn't keep his mouth shut and now Emma knows about the curse", Damon replied, irritated.
"Emma?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Elena's cousin", Damon explained, walking over to the bar and pouring himself a large glass of whiskey.
"You never talked about her", the vampire punctuated, and noticed when Damon stiffened his shoulders before sighing and replying.
"She's not important, barely know the woman, so why should I talk about her?", Damon questioned, turning away from Rose and pouring a second glass of whiskey. He turned to the vampire again and offered her his drink and Rose accepted.
Rose shrugged and the movement, however minimal, caused a stabbing pain where the vampire had taken the werewolf bite. Damon quickly stopped beside Rose and led her to her bed, covering the vampire with the covers.
.
Emma searched the entire school for Elena, but couldn't find her. Snorting, Emma called her cousin, but when the call fell straight to voicemail, she dialed the number of the Gilbert house, being answered by Jenna. Emma didn't want to alarm her aunt, not least because Alaric said that Jenna didn't know about vampires, werewolves and sacrifices. Jenna reminded her that the afternoon would feature the school's Booster Club Barbecue, a fundraising event, and that everyone would need help. Emma rolled her eyes and confirmed that she would attend the event, since she believed it was possible to meet Elena there.
Elena hadn't been the same since the Gilbert's death, but Emma had been at the school long enough to know that Caroline always dragged her to these types of events. And for that reason alone, she decided to attend. However, despite finding Caroline, Bonnie and even Jeremy, Elena and Stefan were nowhere to be found.
"Oh, fuck it", Emma exclaimed, dropping the apron she was wearing and deciding to drive to Boarding House. Jenna shouted at her, and Emma looked back. "Don't wait up!"
The young woman walked briskly to the car park. It was already evening and she pulled her mobile from her pocket, dialing Elena's number again, while with her other hand she searched for her car keys stuffed in her handbag. The call fell back to voicemail, and Emma huffed and wedged herself between two cars on her way to the parking space where she had parked.
Clumsily, she slipped the mobile phone into her purse, letting the keys fall to the floor. As Emma crouched down and picked up the object, she saw that her fingers touched something slimy. In disgust, Emma brought her hand up to the front of her eyes, and stared with her brown orbs when she realized it was blood.
The woman stood up quickly, dirty keys in hand, and hurried her step. As she crossed half the car park, she found the body of a woman lying on the ground in a small pool of blood. Fighting any coherent thought, Emma ran to the woman to check if she was alive and if she needed help, and that's when she realized two things: there were two marks on the woman's neck, and she was dead.
Before she could reach for her phone and call Sheriff Forbes or even scream for help, Emma was abruptly grabbed by the arm and thrown against a car door. The girl was unable to fight back. A vampire, with thick black veins below her red eyes stared at her through gritted teeth. Emma had seen Damon's true face before, but unlike him, this vampire sent a shiver down her spine. Her mouth was dirty with still fresh blood, and Emma knew she was the perpetrator of the murder of the woman at her feet.
As quickly as the vampire pulled her towards the car, Emma felt the sharp fangs sinking into the flesh of her neck. Emma tried to struggle, but the blood was being sucked out so fast, and the smell was so metallic and nauseating, that the girl felt her arms useless. She fought against unconsciousness and tried to scream, but she simply didn't have the strength. The last thing Emma heard before everything went black was Damon's voice shouting.
"Rose, stop!"
Rose jumped on Damon, but he, even though he was weaker than the vampire, managed to pin her against the ground, trying to immobilize her.
"Rose, Rose! It's me, it's Damon!" the vampire said, trying to control Rose, who was struggling. "It's Damon, it's Damon!"
Slowly, the black veins beneath Rose's eyes grew smaller and Damon could tell that her pupils were straining to focus on him. As soon as she came to her senses, she looked to the side, seeing the bodies on the floor, and, racked with guilt, began to cry.
"Did I do this?" Rose asked between sobs, "Oh my God, I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I never wanted to hurt anybody".
"I know, I know, I know", Damon whispered, kindly stroking her arms. Elena, in the background, gasped.
"Oh my God" Elena exclaimed. "Oh my God, Emma!"
When he heard Emma's name, Damon spun his head almost 360 degrees and saw Elena kneeling beside one of the bodies. Swallowing dryly and wide-eyed, Damon came up beside Emma, and took the girl's face between his hands.
"Emma, Emma, wake up" Damon stammered. This couldn't be happening. What were the odds of Rose just attacking Emma? It couldn't be. "Please wake up". Elena watched the scene with surprise and curiosity, but soon shook her head and glued her ear to her cousin's chest. She heard a faint thud and a few tears of relief streamed from her face.
Stefan, who had arrived at Boarding House and found no one, headed to the event to look for his brother and girlfriend. As soon as the vampire saw the scene, he ran up to Elena and crouched down beside Damon.
"She's alive!" Elena whispered.
"Damon, take Rose. I'll take over from here", Stefan assured Damon, and bit his own wrist. Damon watched his brother give Emma his blood and nodded positively before getting up and walking back to his friend, who was crying and mumbling apologies.
"C'mon, let's get you home", Damon spoke, gently squeezing Rose on the shoulders. He ignored her cries that she hadn't had a home in a long time, and took her in his lap, carrying her in his arms to the car.
Elena sighed in relief when Emma opened her eyes, still feeling a little weak, but with a higher heart rate.
"Elena? It was a vamp..."
"I know, I know," Elena replied, smiling at her cousin. "You're fine, Stefan helped you".
Emma looked from Elena to Stefan, who was staring at her with a complicit smile. The vampire held out his hand for her to stand up, and, with Elena's help, she walked to her own car. As Emma was still a little dizzy, Stefan drove to the Boarding House, at Sommers' insistence. Elena and Stefan had no idea until that moment that Emma knew about the Salvatores being vampires, and were surprised when the woman firmly asked to be taken to their house when she learned that Rose was Damon's friend, and that she was dying.
As soon as they arrived, Elena quickly went upstairs and checked to see if Damon and Rose had arrived okay, and found the vampire next to his friend in bed. The older Salvatore looked miserable, and it broke Elena's heart. Silently, Elena walked back down the stairs and found Emma and Stefan sitting on the sofa. The two seemed to stop talking as soon as she stepped into the room. Elena looked at them suspiciously.
"We need to talk about the curse", Emma announced, and Elena's eyes widened.
"You know?"
"Alaric told me", the older woman explained, and immediately frowned. "Why didn't you tell me? About everything. About Stefan, Damon, about you. And what the hell is this about you wanting to be sacrificed? Have you lost your mind?"
Stefan stared at Emma with a certain amount of admiration. Despite the small age difference, Emma seemed like a mother figure to Elena at that moment. It was apparent how concerned she was for her cousin's safety. In a way, he was relieved to realize that he had one more person on his side. One more person who thought the idea of Elena turning herself in to Klaus was absurd. Elena, looking embarrassed, sat down next to her cousin on the couch. Stefan announced that he would make the two more comfortable and walked out the front door. Emma and Elena stared at each other for a good few seconds.
"How did you know about Stefan and Damon?", Elena asked.
"Damon kind of showed me. Stefan was just a guess", Emma replied. Elena frowned her eyebrows. She remembered Damon kneeling beside her cousin, acting like he cared a lot about her.
"Since when are you and Damon so close?", Elena questioned, and Emma wondered if the tone she was using denoted jealousy or something else. It was probably something else, since Elena loved Stefan.
"That's not the point", the older woman punctuated and, sighing, brushed her hair back with her fingers, which had little effect as the golden-brown locks soon fell across her face again. She then tucked her long fringe behind her ears. "I wish you had told me, I... I don't know, I could have helped you think of some solution".
"There is no other solution, Emma. You don't understand!", Elena exclaimed, increasing a few decibels.
"Then help me understand!", Emma replied in the same tone.
"The point is: Klaus knows where I am. Katherine took care of it. He already has a vampire, a werewolf, and now me. There's no running from that, Emma".
"The hell there's not!", Emma shook her head to the side, having trouble understanding how Elena could act so surrendered. "And who the hell is Katherine?"
Elena then widened her eyes.
"You don't know who Katherine is?" she asked in disbelief.
"Am I supposed to know?"
"Katherine is... Stefan's crazy ex. Well, Damon's too" Elena explained, and ignored when Emma frowned and opened her mouth to say something. "She's a doppelganger. Klaus tried to sacrifice her before, but she became a vampire. She thought that way she would be useless in breaking the curse, but Klaus didn't take it too well. Katherine has run away from him for the last 500 years and now she intends to give me up as a peace offering".
"She sounds like a bitch", Emma commented and took a deep breath. She spotted the bar in the corner of the room and stood up, she walked over to the place and poured herself a large shot of whisky. After taking a sip and making a small grimace, she turned to Elena again. "What if we kill Klaus?"
"God, you sound just like Damon!", Elena complained. "Klaus is an Original, he won't die with a stake through the heart".
"He sure as hell dies with his head decapitated" Emma replied, and Elena couldn't hold back her laughter. "What? Did I say something so absurd? We cut off the head and bury the body in one place, and the head in another. The body won't be able to find the head since it, well, it won't be able to see".
Elena laughed and Emma couldn't help but smile. She went back to the couch and sat down next to her cousin. Elena faced her and held her free hand.
"Thank you".
"What for?" Emma asked.
"For making me laugh and making this day a little better. I'm really glad you know everything. It's nice to have you on my side", Elena commented sincerely.
"I'll always be on your side", Emma replied, and then stared at her own glass. She seemed to think long and hard before speaking again. "She's going to die, isn't she?"
"Yes", Elena replied, and the mood heaved again.
"Damon cares about her" Emma stated. It didn't bother her that Damon cared about Rose the way he seemed to do. She didn't know what kind of relationship the Salvatore had with the other vampire, but she knew he cared enough to suffer. And it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he should suffer the loss of Rose, whatever she was to him. Emma remembered when she lost her family, one at a time, and how much it hurted. How much it still hurt. It wasn't fair for Damon to go through that. No one deserved to go through that.
"He cares about you too" Elena commented, sighing. Emma felt her heart take a single leap before it settled back.
"I think I'll stay" Emma said, and Elena faced her with a complicit smile. "I wish I had a friend on my side when... Well".
"Me too," the younger girl replied.
Upstairs in the house, Damon was lying with Rose on his chest in a fruitless attempt to get her to keep up with the rhythm of his breathing. He had his chin resting on her head and was stroking the vampire's cold arm. Rose was covered in sweat, and her skin was a strange shade of grey. She would die, and it was only a matter of time. And Damon felt guilt. It was strange how, after more than a century of closing himself off to anyone or any vampire who came near him, it was only back in Mystic Falls that he opened himself up again to three women: Elena, Rose, and Emma. The latter knew very little about him, he wasn't even sure he wanted her to know much about him.
Chances were Emma would start hating him once she knew about all the people he'd killed, the vampires he'd freed from the tomb, Katherine... She would surely hate him, and he didn't want that. He wanted her to like him, like Rose do. Rose knew about his past and wouldn't judge him. And now he was going to lose her.
"It didn't seem like she's not important" Rose commented before she started coughing. Damon stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "Emma", she explained. "You were worried about her".
Damon didn't reply, he just carried on holding Rose against his chest. He stood watching the crackling flames of the fireplace forming patterns that only fire could create. Rose coughed again, and Damon stroked her arm.
"You care about her" the vampire said, and Damon sighed loudly, expressing his annoyance with the conversation. "I know you don't like being told that sort of thing, but it would be nice, you know?"
"What?", Damon asked, rolling his eyes. Rose coughed again.
"You caring about someone who isn't the copy of your ex".
"I care about you" Damon replied, skirting the issue. Rose smiled.
"You know what I mean" she punctuated, and the two fell into a great silence. When Rose began to grunt in pain, Damon closed his eyes and entered her mind.
Elena had given him the description of Rose's old home, and he tried his best to replicate the location. In the dream, Rose had long hair, and was dressed in a beautiful dress from her time as a human. She was happy, and that was enough for him.
Rose was peacefully propped against Damon's chest, sleeping peacefully and visiting her dream homeland when the vampire drove the stake through her heart. Rose died happy, but that didn't make the situation any easier for him. Damon felt miserable. For a few minutes, he didn't have the courage to move. He felt his friend's body drying up under his fingers, and big tears streamed down his face. He didn't have the heart to look at her; his eyes remained glued to the flames.
When Damon went downstairs and entered the living room, Emma and Elena both stood up quickly from the couch. As soon as he laid eyes on Sommers, Damon glared at her angrily.
"What the hell are you still doing here?" he asked. Elena raised her eyebrows in surprise at Damon's hostility and took a step back. She opened her mouth to reply, but realized at the last second that the vampire wasn't speaking to her.
"I didn't want you to go through this alone", Emma replied, completely ignoring the tone the vampire used with her. She knew he was suffering. She herself hadn't been the best company right after her family died. She'd also spent a few years not being herself when she was with Tom. Damon took a few steps forward and took the glass of whiskey Emma offered him.
"I appreciate the gesture", he replied slightly debauched "But I'm glad it's over".
"I don't believe that" Emma replied, crossing her arms in front of her body. Her eyes, however, were soft and understanding. Damon dropped the glass on a sideboard, he hated that she was trying to be comforting.
"I don't give a shit about what you believe", Damon replied. Elena thought about intervening, but when she watched her cousin with her impassive expression, she knew she had the situation under control.
"I don't know you well enough, but I'm your friend", Emma commented. With every word that came out of Emma's mouth, Damon seemed to get more irritated, and Elena couldn't understand why. Damon had never treated her like that, and she wondered why Emma put up with such treatment.
"I'm well aware of that, Emma".
"And as your friend, I can see that you are suffering" Emma explained.
Elena stopped beside her cousin and looked sympathetically at the vampire. God, he hated it.
"It's okay to feel that, Damon" Elena spoke, and Damon exploded, sweeping the glass and a plant pot, which were on the sideboard, to the floor. Both the glass and the vase broke, splashing water across the carpet. Elena gasped, but Emma didn't even blink.
"What the hell do you guys want to hear?" Damon asked, his blue eyes burning Emma's with fury. "That I cared about Rose? That I'm upset? Because I didn't, and I'm not". The vampire turned away, ready to leave the room.
"There you go, pretending to turn it off, pretending not to feel", Elena accused, moving closer to him. "Damon, you're so close, don't give up".
Damon turned to Elena again, his expression more annoyed than angry.
"I feel, Elena. Okay? And it sucks!", Damon replied. "What sucks even more is that it was supposed to be me! Jules was coming after me!"
"You feel guilty" Emma commented, in a tone so low that Elena barely heard. But Damon, with his amplified hearing, heard, and turned to the girl, frowning.
"That would be human of me, wouldn't it Emma? I'm not human". He then turned to Elena. "And you? You're one to talk about giving up. All you've done is give up!"
Emma frowned at the comment, Elena looked surprised and uncomfortable at the accusation, and hugged her own arms close to her body. Damon didn't take his eyes off Gilbert, but pointed at the door with his index finger.
"Go home. There's been enough doom, gloom and personal growth for one night. And I'm fucking sick of it".
Elena nodded positively, but before she headed for the door, she hugged Damon, who didn't return the hug and pushed her away slightly after a few seconds. Emma, with her arms crossed, watched her younger cousin walk to the door and wait for her by the door frame. When she turned her eyes back to Damon, he was still staring at her angrily.
"What are you waiting for? A formal invitation? Get the fuck out of my house", he spat out the words and approached her, who kept her expression impassive. "If you join Elena's team, know that it's a losing game. I'm not a fucking human".
And with that, Damon strode past her, purposefully bumping hard into her arm, causing her to almost lose her balance. The vampire fought the urge to amp up a possible fall from her. He just wanted her to go away, to her to get the hell out of there. Her and Elena. Elena with her annoying mania of wanting to rescue his humanity, and Emma with the insufferable look on her face of one who thought she knew him well. She didn't know him, she wasn't his friend, she was nothing. She was just a woman who insisted on not leaving him alone. Damon propped his elbows on the mantelpiece and hid his face between his hands.
"You talk as if I asked you to be one. I didn't", Emma replied, and Damon raised his head, frowning and feeling his eyes moisten. He heard Emma walking towards the entrance of the house and then the sound of the door slamming. He sharpened his ears and waited until the car was started and they had taken a good distance from the property before pulling out a new bottle of whisky and starting to drink it on the spout.
Damon would like to say that he drank until his liver could take no more, but that was impossible for a vampire. He drank, however, a larger amount than was advisable, and decided to leave the house to take his frustration out on something or someone.
He walked groggily to the highway at the entrance to Mystic Falls, and lay down on the road waiting for some victim. He no longer wanted to be good, what had being good ever given him? Damon was living in eternal pain, and the truth was, he didn't want to feel it anymore. After 145 years of suffering for Katherine and over a year of living with the Elena Gilbert dilemma, Damon believed his quota of misery was exhausted. But he was wrong. The first person he had let fully into his life after everything had been ripped away from him. Rose had been a great friend, though he couldn't admit it out loud, and he missed her. He felt guilt, and he missed her. It wasn't fair that she should die so that he could go on living.
There was also Elena, always wanting to rescue his humanity, wanting him to feel. And why? He felt. He sort of loved her, and still she was with Stefan. He tried to be good, to be what she wanted, but still he knew she would choose Stefan anyway, just like Katherine. Damon wasn't good enough, and he would never be good enough. So what was the point in trying?
Damon closed his eyes and heard a car approaching. The car stopped and a woman stepped out of it. He knew it was a woman before she even opened her mouth. Her sweet perfume gave away that it was a woman.
"Sir, are you okay?" the woman asked, approaching him. She looked concerned, but scared at the same time. "What happened?"
"I'm lost" Damon replied, opening his eyes. The girl had copper colored hair, he could see it in the light of the car's headlights.
"And you're laying in the middle of the road?" she questioned, suspicious.
"Not that kind of lost" he sighed, and stood up enough to sit on the floor, knocking the dust off his jacket. "Metaphorically, existentially".
"Do you need help?" the girl asked, gripping her phone tightly, as if ready to call for help.
"Well..." Damon pulled out his canteen and took two large sips of the whiskey, which was already hot and went bitterly down his throat. He grimaced. "Yes, I do. Can you help me?" he sneered.
"You're drunk", she accused.
"No. Uh, yes. A little, maybe?". The girl put her phone back in her pocket and turned away from him, walking quickly to her car. Damon turned to her. "No, please don't leave. I really do need help".
At superhuman speed, Damon stood up and walked over to the girl, holding her by the arms and compelling her not to move. The girl started to cry and mumbled that she didn't want to get trouble. The thick tears drew Damon's attention to the girl's eyes, and he noticed that she had whiskey-colored eyes, and he felt a jolt in his chest.
"Neither do I" Damon confessed. He was drunk enough to be able to throw up the words. There, staring into those eyes so much like the ones Damon had grown accustomed to stare, it seemed easy just to pour it all out. He couldn't keep his icy eyes from hers. "But all I got is trouble".
The girl began to cry even harder, not understanding why she couldn't move. Damon let go of her arms, but kept looking her in the eyes.
"What's your name?" he asked, taking another sip from his canteen. The girl swallowed hard before answering that her name was Jessica. Damon grimaced. "No, you're not a Jessica, you're a... Emma".
The girl stared at him in bewilderment and terror. Damon smiled and held her by the arms again.
"Well, Emma. I have a secret", Damon spoke, soaking in her whiskey eyes. "I have a big one, but I've never said it out loud. I mean, what's the point? It's not gonna change anything!" It wasn't going to change anything. Elena would move on with Stefan, and Damon would be doomed to loneliness. What was the point of being good? What was the point of letting someone in?
"It's not gonna make me good, it's not gonna make me adopt a puppy!", Damon continued, opening up to that stranger like he'd never done before with anyone. "I can't be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am, Emma".
The girl was crying and Damon was mesmerized by her moist brown eyes. It was so easy, opening up to her, looking into those eyes. But those eyes, the whisky eyes, didn't want him to be something other than what he was, did they?
You talk as if I asked you to be one. I didn't ask you to be one.
"A-are you gonna hurt me?" the girl asked, and Damon frowned.
"I'm not sure". And he wasn't sure. Probably yes, probably if he let her in, if he let her take up any place inside him, he would end up hurting her, he would end up losing her. He let Rose in, and he lost her. "You are my new existential crisis, Emma. You and your fucking eyes". Damon felt tears dripping from his own eyes. "Do I kill you, or do I not kill you?"
"Please don't" the girl pleaded.
"But I have to, Emma, because I'm not human. And I miss it!", Damon cried. "I miss it more than anything in the world! That is my secret. But there's only so much hurt a man can take".
"Please, do-don't!"
"I have to. Because I can't lose you if you're dead", Damon whispered, with tears in his eyes, before he nuzzled the girl's neck. And it was delicious. Damon went into a frenzy, feeling the hot blood rush down his throat, and sucked the girl dry. And still, it wasn't enough. The pain was still as strong as before.
Damon didn't dare look into the girl's eyes, now lifeless and dull. He just left her there in the middle of the highway, and headed back home.