"Can we watch it again daddy?" Izzabella asked with a bright and hopeful smile as the ending credits of the Little Mermaid rolled on the tv screen.
Elliot shook his head with a small smile "sorry kiddo not tonight we have to let someone else pick now."
She nodded slightly as Elliot smiled and looked to Olivia "the choice is yours honey."
Olivia smiled "let one of the older girls pick, just nothing violent I can't watch anything violent tonight."
Elliot nodded and kissed her head as Kathleen smiled "I know what movie we can watch! We can watch Tammy!"
Elliot nodded "maybe after Izzabella is asleep. Whatever we watch has to be appropriate for a 3 year old to see."
Kathleen frowned "almost no movie out now is appropriate for 3 year olds to see."
"Isn't that the truth? Tv shows to much these days, cursing is a constant issue and nudity too. I wish we could go back to the1900s," Bernadette complained.
"I think all parents do sometimes mama, it's so hard to shelter her from the negatives of the world when they're every where."
She nodded "maybe that's a sign Elliot, maybe you shouldn't shelter her so much."
He nodded slightly "maybe so and I'm working on it it's just hard to not hover."
"We get it El," Olivia said with a smile squeezing his arm gently "how about Paranormal Entity?" Carl suggested.
Elliot shook his head "she'll have nightmares about demons for weeks if we watch that."
Olivia nodded agreeing with that "what about Frozen? She should be able to watch Frozen," Lizzie said.
"I see no problem with Frozen you good with that Liv?" Elliot asked.
Olivia nodded with a smile as Elliot nodded "mo, Katie, Carl, mom you guys good with that?"
Every one nodded as Elliot smiled then put the movie in the player "I'm gonna go whip up some dinner what would every one like?"
"Pizza!" Izzabella shouted excitedly.
"Maybe some chicken or something like that," Kathleen said.
"I wouldn't mind some pork chops with corn on the cob," Maureen said as every one was talking over each other.
"Hey hey I'm not a chef guys I'm not cooking all 3 of those, discuss it quietly to yourselves then when you've all made up your minds let me know," Elliot said as he sat back down, not mashing play so they could figure it out.
A few minutes later the quiet chatter stopped "we've all agreed on chicken," Maureen said.
Elliot nodded "chicken it is then," he said as he handed Olivia the remote to the dvd player then went into the kitchen to start cooking as she pressed play on the movie.
"That food smells absolutely amazing!" Bernadette said with a smile as it was almost through cooking and the movie was wrapping up.
Olivia smiled and nodded "I agree it does."
Bernadette smiled then sighed "have you noticed how he just takes over a room? It's like where ever he is he's in charge always."
Olivia smiled slightly and nodded "I have."
Bernadette sighed "doesn't that bother you?"
Olivia shook her head "it doesn't actually."
Bernadette frowned slightly "how doesn't it?"
Olivia gave her a small smile "it doesn't bother me because he always checks in with me, makes sure I agree with his decisions and if I don't we talk about it."
She nodded slightly "hmm," she said thinking as the end credits rolled "dinners ready!" Elliot called from the kitchen.
Every one nodded and made their way in there "dad this looks amazing," Lizzie said shocked to see baked chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and roles.
Elliot smiled "thanks honey," he said as he fixed Olivia's plate and sat it in front of the seat directly to the left of the head seat as she smiled and sat there "this looks amazing El."
He smiled "thanks honey," he said as he fixed Izzabella's plate as once every one was seated they all dug in "my god Elliot you say your not a chef but maybe you should be one," Bernadette said amazed by how good the food was.
Elliot shook his head a bit "I like cooking for my family but I don't think I'd like cooking for strangers all day at a restaurant. Cooking is a thankless job unless it's for family besides I'm happy retired."
Bernadette nodded understanding "do you think you'll be happy in retirement forever though dad? I mean your only 47 and captain Cragen is working still at what 70?" Kathleen asked.
Elliot chuckled slightly "he's 66 right Liv?" he asked as Olivia nodded confirming as Elliot nodded and looked back to Kathleen "every one's different Katie, I mean I'm not gonna say that me going back to work is completely out of the question because it isn't, anything could happen to where I need to work again but right now I'm needed more at home so that's where I'm gonna be."
She nodded slightly "if you did work again what would you do? Would you go back to SVU?"
Elliot sighed "it would depend."
Kathleen nodded and kept her gaze fixed on him intrigued as he sighed "lets just talk about something else okay honey? It's gonna be a while before me or Liv either one thinks about work again," he said as Izzabella looked to them "what does SVU mean?"
"It stands for special Victims Unit," Olivia said hoping the big words would confuse her and that she'd drop it.
"What's a victim?" she asked curiously.
"A victim is someone whose badly hurt," Elliot said while finishing his plate "the SVU helps them get better."
Izzabella nodded slightly and yawned "I think someone's sleepy," Maureen said with a smile.
Izzabella nodded slightly "let me put these plates in the sink then we'll get you settled sound good?" Elliot asked.
She nodded with a slight smile as every one teamed up on the clean up, Maureen washing the dishes, Olivia drying them since that was the easiest thing for her to do one handed and carl putting them away as Elliot was to busy setting up Izzabella's bath to know who was doing what in the kitchen.
"So Liv when you said you couldn't watch violence did you mean all violence?" Kathleen asked knowing that her and her siblings wanted to watch some somewhat violent movies.
Olivia shook her head "not all violence no I just can't watch people getting kidnapped or major violence."
She nodded slightly "gotcha," she said as she went into the living room and decided to play some cards with Bernadette "I'm gonna make us some popcorn," Lizzie said with a smile.
Olivia nodded "sounds good sweetie, make 1 of the bowls with extra butter please," she said with a smile knowing that's how Elliot liked his.
Lizzie nodded her head with a smile as once Liv finished drying the dishes she slipped away and walked towards the guest room as she stood just outside the doorway listening.
Elliot was reading the 3 Little Pigs to Izzabella on his phone with a smile as he noticed Olivia standing there out of the corner of his eye as he waved her in and kept reading still smiling and she sat down on the bed quietly to keep Izzabella focused on it.
Before much longer the story was through and Izzabella was starting to doze off "night mommy, night daddy."
"Goodnight kiddo, sleep tight," they both said softly as once she was asleep they both eased off the bed in unison and tiptoed out shutting the door gently.
"We put in Tammy we're just waiting for you guys to start it," Kathleen said with a smile.
Olivia nodded "sounds good sweetie we're heading in there," she called as her and El walked together and they sat down on the love seat just as Kathleen started the movie as as they watched they munched on their popcorn as they took pieces from each others bowls from time to time.
"Why do you guys do that? I've never understood it," Kathleen said watching them.
Olivia and Elliot both chuckled slightly "I don't really know to be honest honey it's just something we started doing one day and never really stopped."
Olivia chuckled slightly "I remember that day well it was in the first year of our partnership, we were in such a hurry trying to scarf down our food before going into interrogation that I grabbed your dad's sandwich by mistake and took a bite, I just knew that he was gonna be pissed at me but he wasn't, he said 2 can play that game Benson, took a bight out of mine and we've been doing it ever since."
Kathleen chuckled "that's pretty funny, did you guys take bites off of each others sandwiches when he was still married to mom though?"
They both shook their heads "no we'd break them in half but still eat off our own plates, the only time that happened before we started dating was that one accidental time."
Kathleen smiled and nodded her head as they all finished watching the movie together in silence as once it was over Carl smiled "okay lets watch that new movie that just came out, it's called No One Lives, it'll be a good horror one I bet. I need to watch some horror right about now."
"What's it about?" Elliot asked knowing that they had to be careful with the horror genre right now to keep Olivia from having flashbacks to the Lewis ordeal.
He smiled some "from what I've read online a couple is taken hostage and"-
Before he could say any more Elliot shook his head "we're not watching any movies about anybody being held hostage that would hinder Olivia's recovery and honestly I don't think I can handle it either."
Carl frowned "come on Elliot it's just a movie horror movies are never real you know that."
Elliot sighed "I know that Carl trust me I do we just can't risk it right now," he said after glancing at Liv who obviously didn't like the idea of the movie premise either.
Carl nodded and relented "what about the purge then? Or paranormal activity?"
Elliot sighed "not the purge to many guns to many deaths... Liv how do you feel about either Paranormal activity or Paranormal Entity?"
She smiled slightly "I'm good with Paranormal Activity from what I heard it doesn't show to much."
"It doesn't," Kathleen said with a smile "besides if you get scared you can just squeeze dad's hand right dad?"
"Hey I'm not scared I won't be scared," Olivia said quickly as Elliot smiled at her then kissed her head "nock it off Katie.."
Kathleen frowned "come on dad I was just kidding around."
Elliot just nodded as Maureen sighed "why don't I fix us all a glass of wine? Dad you definitely could use a glass or 2."
"I can't mix wine with my pain meds Mo but I'll take a tea please if you don't mind?" Olivia asked.
Maureen nodded "of course Liv, dad what would you like to have? There's beer, wine, vodka and bourbon I think."
Elliot shook his head "I need to be sober Maureen I'll take a sweet tea also please."
Kathleen frowned "come on dad 1 drink won't hurt anything and maybe it'll make you loosen up a little."
He shook his head "I can't Kathleen I can't have alcohol on my breath."
"Why not?" she pushed.
Elliot sighed "I just can't," he said as Olivia leaned into his ear "don't not drink on my account El the only smell I can't handle is Vodka."
"Baby are you sure? I don't want my breath to trigger you," he whispered softly.
She nodded slightly "t-the only one he made me drink was Vodka so as long as you don't drink that one I should be fine."
He nodded slightly and kissed her head "consider me allergic to Vodka then," he said softly as he then looked to his girls "alright fine I'll have 1 beer, only 1 though."
Maureen nodded as once every one had their drinks and had refilled their popcorn bowls Carl started the movie.
As the movie played Carl, Maureen and Kathleen got sorta buzzed as they had a good time being young adults, cutting up and acting stupid. Bernadette drank way to much again having not learned from the night before making Olivia disappointed and Elliot frustrated, Lizzie enjoyed her fair share of sparkling water being to young to drink and Elliot barely touched his beer only taking a drink or so before he and Liv just decided to share her tea as by the time the movie was over Olivia was fast asleep on Elliot's chest.
"Dad you want some bourbon?" Kathleen asked walking over.
Elliot shook his head "no thank you," he whispered.
Kathleen frowned "come on dad Liv's asleep you can now, at least finish your beer."
Elliot shook his head slightly as Carl put in the Texas chainsaw massacre "we're heading to bed you guys enjoy yourselves."
"But Izzabella's in there and we're not done watching movies yet," Kathleen said.
Elliot sighed "you should be done it's 10 minutes till midnight but your all grown so I'm keeping out of that, and yeah I know Izzabella's in our bed but mama's already passed out on the couch over there and I don't see her waking up for the rest of the night so we're just gonna take her bed."
Kathleen nodded slightly "alright then, night dad.."
"Goodnight honey I love you, goodnight Carl, goodnight girls," he said as once all of his girls had heard him and said goodnight back he grabbed a breath mint from the kitchen and headed into Bernadette's room with Olivia as he shut the door to insure that the sound from the movie didn't make it in there to them as once he was settled in the bed he swirled the mint around in his mouth a bit then chewed it up and laid down deciding that he wasn't gonna wake Olivia up to treat her burns, they could do it in the morning as with that final thought he fell asleep.
May 27th, 4:45 AM.
Elliot shot awake in a cold sweat, his grip tightening reflexively on whatever he had in his arms as he looked around franticly for Olivia, he had to know she was okay, just had to after what he had dreamed "ungh," he heard as he loosened his grip, immediately recognizing the sound as having come from Liv "Liv sweetheart, t-thank god your okay," he said in udder relief.
"W-where are we? E-El what's wrong?" Olivia asked growing panicked too not recognizing Bernadette's bedroom and confused by Elliot's behavior.
"Shhh, shhh your safe sweetheart, we're safe," he said softly as he stroked her hair with a shaking hand while trying to regain his bearings so he could answer Liv's questions.
Olivia's eyes darted around the room trying to figure out where they were as right now she was anything but relaxed "b-baby we're safe, I-I'm sorry I woke you, I-I'm sorry I scared you," he said.
"W-Where are we El? I don't recognize this room I-I remember being in your mom's living room watching a movie t-then this now, I don't remember us going to bed. Did someone do something?" she asked panicked figuring that was the only explanation for his behavior.
He shook his head slightly "no baby no they didn't I promise, we're in mama's bedroom I had a n-nightmare and thought they had.. I-I gripped you that way in my panic I-I'm sorry baby."
She shook her head slightly "I-it's okay El y-you need to talk about it?" she asked while wiggling out of his arms as she needed a little space to get herself calm.
He sighed slightly "I-I dreamed that William Lewis r-raped you while I was forced to watch. Y-You were about to be shot when I startled awake."
Olivia shuttered slightly and held his hand in hers gently rubbing it "El I'm so sorry, I'm safe, I'm here," she said softly as he nodded slightly and they both rubbed each others hands gently, taking comfort from the others gentle touch.
After a few more minutes of this they were both calm "El I don't remember much of last night after your mom's 4th wine glass what happened?"
Elliot smiled softly "your head ended up on my chest and you fell asleep, you didn't miss much the older kids in exception of Lizzie got a little to drunk, once the movie was over I carried you in here and went to sleep."
Olivia nodded slightly "where is your mom sleeping?"
"The couch probably she passed out after her 6th glass, Carl was to drunk to move her and I didn't want to, I figured her losing out on her bed for a night might teach her a lesson besides the only other alternatives would have been for us to try and sleep on it while they watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Izzabella so I figured this was the best choice."
Olivia nodded and slightly smiled "it was the right choice El, carrying me didn't hurt your back did it? I must have been like dead wait."
He shook his head "it didn't love I promise. Honey did I hurt you when I woke up from that dream? I-If I did please tell me."
She shook her head slightly "I was a little scared and disoriented at first but it wasn't because of you, I didn't recognize the room and the way you were holding me was like someone was trying to hurt us or something and that's where my mind went."
Elliot nodded slightly "I heard you cry out though t-that's what made me loosen my grip."
She nodded slightly "it was my rib, there was to much pressure on 1 of my ribs but it's okay El I know it came from a place of protection."
He nodded slightly "it did I promise, maybe you should sleep beside me though for a while that way I don't risk doing it again? B-Because I can't promise it won't happen again."
Olivia sighed slightly "I-if that's what you want I suppose I can I don't feel the need to for my mental wellbeing but it's not just about me."
He nodded slightly "it's not that I want the distance from you baby it's just I don't wanna ever be the cause of you being in any pain and I can't control my grip on you while I'm sleeping or dreaming."
She nodded slightly "I understand," she said as she yawned "how far away from you do you want me?"
"Your fine where you are baby," he said softly as their sides were touching and they're heads shared the pillow "I'm gonna try something," he said softly as he removed his hand from hers and switched it with his other one as he started stroking her hair with the hand closest to her head "is this okay? Do you still feel close to me like this?"
Olivia nodded with a small smile "mmhmm," she said as Elliot smiled, nodded and continued his motions as she was soon back asleep and he followed after her.
Elliot woke up for good at around 5 minutes till 10 as he chuckled ever so slightly when he woke finding her wrapped in his arms again, her head on his chest I guess this is just how we're meant to be, he thought to himself as he kept holding her but loosened his grip while she slept.
Olivia started to wake slightly about 20 minutes after he did as she noticed where she was and started to try and move knowing he hadn't wanted her in this position before but he kissed her head gently noticing "it's alright sweetheart," he said softly "may as well not mess with the subconscious what it wants it gets," he said in a chuckle.
She chuckled slightly but then sighed "El you have the right to your personal space and I don't want to seem like I don't respect that. You respect my requests for personal space."
He nodded slightly "I know you respect my requests for space but I wasn't looking for personal space baby, I was just scared I'd hurt you that's all."
She nodded slightly and sighed "we'll get through this El, I promise you we'll get through all this together."
He nodded "I know we will," he said with a small smile "whatcha say we get your burns treated then see what we can find for breakfast?"
She nodded "sounds good to me," she said as she rose off his chest and they left Bernadette's room.
The morning passed quickly as her burns were treated, breakfast was eaten and Bernadette slowly started to come too around 11 o'clock as her second hangover was much worse than her first one "can every one please just be quiet?" she begged cradling her head in her hands as Izzabella was excitedly telling Lizzie about some of her dolls she had at home.
Elliot frowned at her and handed her a banana "here mama this should help you feel better. Don't be short with my kid though she didn't make you drink 6 glasses of wine, you made that choice all on your own," he said as he then took his seat back beside Liv.
After a little while longer of every one participating in meaningless chit chatter Maureen spoke up "I was thinking why don't we all go to Coney Island today? It'd be a good way to give grandma B the house to herself again for a little while and Izzabella would love it."
Elliot sighed slightly "it's a great idea honey but I can't afford it right now..."
"Me and Carl could pay for it. We don't mind really."
Olivia shook her head "we can't ask that of you sweetie you've already done so much..."
Maureen nodded slightly in defeat as Kathleen spoke up then "Coney island is out but there's central park, you get in for free, they have a carousel ride that's really cheap that I'm sure Izzabella would love and they have some walking trails."
"It'd take us 2 hours or so to get there but the fresh air might be nice right Liv? We could sit on a park bench, watch the view?" Elliot asked.
Olivia nodded "we could or we might could walk a little my meds should hold all day and I feel pretty good all things considered."
He smiled "that works too," he said as Kathleen looked to Bernadette "would you like to go grandma B?"
She shook her head slightly "no thank you dear I'm gonna go lay down in bed and try to feel better if I do later I might go to Atlantic City with Gladys."
Kathleen nodded her head as Olivia looked to Bernadette "would you mind if we take a few pieces of bread with us? I thought Izzabella might like feeding the ducks in the pond."
She shook her head "of course not dear take whatever you like."
Olivia smiled "thanks Berni," she said as she headed into the kitchen and collected a few pieces putting them into a bag "whose riding with who?" Kathleen asked.
"Doesn't really matter that much to me Katie we're all going to the same place," Maureen said as Carl and Lizzie nodded in agreement.
"I wanna ride with mommy and daddy," Izzabella said.
"That's fine sweetheart you can ride with us," Elliot said as he looked to Carl "you mind moving her carseat to the back of our truck please?"
He shook his head with a slight smile and stood to go move it as Elliot took Izzabella into the other room to get her dressed to go out and Olivia came back with the bread "Maureen are there any wet wipes around here? I have no doubt we'll need them at some point."
"I'll look," she said as she went in search of some "but I don't wanna brush it daddy," Izzabella could be heard wining from the other room.
"Honey please... I'll make sure it doesn't hurt but by the looks of things your hair hasn't been brushed in 3 or more days," he tried.
Izzabella shook her head slightly and ran out of the bedroom "Izzabella..." Elliot said through a sigh as he went after her "what's going on?" Bernadette enquired.
"She doesn't want me to brush her hair," Elliot explained.
Bernadette nodded understanding "that's okay Elliot as long as she has fun today that's the only thing that really matters."
Elliot sighed "mama her hair has tangles all in it, if people see her like that they'll think she's not properly taken care of."
Bernadette nodded "let them think what they want to son it doesn't matter what the public thinks anyways."
Elliot sighed slightly "mama I know your trying to help but your not helping," he said as he then walked over to Olivia who had Izzabella beside her "I don't want to mommy," she said.
"Why sweetie? Just tell me why," Olivia said.
Izzabella pointed at the tangles "they hurt," she said.
Olivia nodded slightly "sometimes they do yeah but that's why you have to brush it every day if you brush it every day the tangles don't get as bad."
Izzabella teared up slightly "but I don't want it to hurt."
Olivia and Elliot sighed in unison as Elliot rubbed her back "I'll try to be gentle sweetie," he said softly as Lizzie ran over "daddy use this on her hair first, it'll help a lot," she said handing him a bottle of detangler.
He nodded slightly "thank you honey," he said as he started putting it in for her "I'm gonna use my fingers to get these really bad ones to come all the way out you think you can use the brush to get what my fingers don't?" he asked Olivia.
Olivia nodded "sure," she said as they managed to work together getting the tangles out causing Izzabella very little discomfort "I think we're ready to go now kiddo and you know what?" Elliot said to Izzabella with excitement in his voice.
"What?" she asked excitedly as well feeding off of his happiness.
"Letting us brush your hair is gonna be so worth it to you once you get to ride the carousel."
"The carousel?" she asked with a bright smile as she stood from his lap and jumped up and down.
Elliot smiled "that's right, go on honey, head out to the truck we'll be out in a minute."
Izzabella nodded and quickly ran off "has she ever done that before?" Olivia asked.
Elliot shook his head with a sigh "no she hasn't but it's never been that badly tangled either."
She nodded slightly "true maybe it was just a one time thing."
He sighed "god I hope so I was terrified I'd pull it and make her cry."
Olivia nodded slightly as Kathleen walked over "I don't wanna overstep my bounds or anything but as someone studying to be a psychologist I'll say Izzabella's been through a lot of change in the last week or so and sometimes kids react to change in strange ways."
Elliot nodded slightly "do you think we should try and talk to her?"
Kathleen nodded "yeah maybe, but I'll tell you what will make her feel like things are getting normal again is if you act normal around her, if she usually walks in between you 2 and holds your hands while your out and about that's what you should do, if she eats 5 packs of fried oreo balls let her. You get my drift?"
He nodded "I do but that's the thing things aren't normal right now and I don't see them going back to how they were for a really long time, not completely anyway."
She nodded "then yeah I'd give her a chance to ask you whatever questions she might have cuz I'm sure she has some."
Elliot nodded slightly "we should get going guys it's already noon and it's a 2 hour drive."
The kids nodded and Olivia stood up hanging their bag of essential items on her shoulder as they walked outside.
"Liv honey please let me carry that," Elliot said since he was carrying nothing.
Olivia shook her head with a smile "I've got it El thank you though," she said as he nodded slightly and buckled Izzabella into her seat then helped Liv get settled as once every one was loaded up into both cars they drove off.
"Cragen texted yesterday," Elliot said after a little while of riding in a comfortable silence.
"What'd he want?" Olivia asked.
Elliot sighed "he wants us to talk to the news again, make a better impression with them apparently what we told that woman the other night aired and he's worried that IAB isn't believing our story."
Olivia sighed heavily "I suppose we have no choice then if they aren't believing us. Why do I feel like we're on trial though and not that bastard Lewis?"
He sighed slightly and rubbed her shoulder "because the media cares more about a juicy story than the truth."
Olivia just sighed and shook her head as she had more to say but was mindful of Izzabella being in the back seat of the truck "when is this going down?"
Elliot continued rubbing her shoulder gently "we didn't plan anything for sure yet I told Cragen I had to talk to you first but I figured if we do it we can do it on Tuesday while we're already at the precinct? We don't have to though you say the word and I'll tell Cragen no and that'll be the end of it."
Olivia nodded slightly as his protective wording made her smile small "Tuesday'll be fine El at least it'll be on our terms that way. What will we say though?"
"The truth for the most part, if they ask about you having an affair with him just deny it, if they ask about us beating him just say we were defending ourselves. That's all the media needs to know."
Olivia nodded slightly "s-sounds good it should work out as long as we back each other up."
He nodded agreeing "I'll give the same answers as you love don't worry," he said as she nodded trusting him and the rest of their drive was relaxed as they made it to central park right around 2.
"What do we wanna do first?" Elliot asked once they were all out of the cars and standing together.
"Carousel!" Izzabella shouted with a smile.
Elliot nodded at her and glanced at every one else as they were all nodding "carousel it is then," he said as they all headed that way and rode it a few times.
After 6 rides they ran out of quarters as they all climbed off their horses and Olivia climbed off hers carefully while cradling her ribs with her left hand as Elliot ran over "honey you okay?"
She slightly nodded "y-yeah I'm fine what's next."
Elliot smiled softly and kissed the side of her head seeing through her facade "lets find a bench to sit on for a little bit, watch the view this place is so beautiful."
Olivia nodded slightly as they walked slowly and he sat them down at the first bench they found "it was to soon for this wasn't it... You weren't up to this," he said softly.
Olivia sighed slightly "I'm fine El really my ribs just hurt a little sometimes I'm not gonna let it stop me."
Elliot just nodded slightly knowing that her mind was made up plus they were already there anyway as he loosely wrapped his arm around her and glanced around the park.
They sat there like that for several minutes just gazing around in a comfortable silence as the next thing they knew a little girl was barreling over to them "Liv!! Liv!!" she called excitedly as she tried to crash into her arms but Elliot prevented that because of her sore ribs as the child ended up crashing into him instead "hi there little one. Where are your parents?" he asked.
"Daddy's just over there," she said pointing as Elliot nodded "you probably should go back over to him then sweetie he's probably really worried."
The child shook her head slightly and frowned "but I wanted to see Liv..."
Elliot sighed slightly in confusion as he gave Olivia a questioning look "Zara you need to ask your dad first sweetheart, it's really good to see you though and if he says it's okay I don't mind you walking back over," she said as Zara nodded quickly and ran off as Olivia faced Elliot again "that's Nick Amaro's daughter Zara," she explained.
"Ahh okay that explains it, I was wondering what was up with her just running up to us like that," he said as he chuckled slightly then his face grew serious "I don't mind her hanging out with us while we're sitting here but I don't feel comfortable taking responsibility for someone else's kid if we decide to walk the trails Liv."
Olivia nodded her head "I understand El Amaro wouldn't saddle us with her like that anyway he's a good dad."
Elliot nodded "that's good to hear," he said as Amaro walked over to the bench with Zara behind him "sorry she did that guys she just got so excited when she saw you Liv."
"It's fine really we could tell when we saw her," Elliot said with a smile "nice day out today isn't it?"
Amaro smiled "definitely is summer's approaching I'll have Zara for most of it thank god."
Olivia smiled "I'm really glad to hear that Nick I know you said Maria was giving you a really hard time."
He sighed "you don't know the half of it, hey how are you holding up Liv?"
She slightly smiled "I'm hanging in there, getting a little better each day."
Amaro smiled "I'm glad to hear that, how long will I be with out my partner once I'm off suspension huh?"
Olivia sighed slightly "I really don't know Nick there's just so many things that I need to work through before I can even think about going back to work... My fear of handcuffs being one of them."
Amaro nodded sympathetically "so you don't think it'll be earlier than the 2 months then?"
She shook her head "there's no way I honestly feel like 2 months might not be enough time for me to be completely ready but it's to soon to tell right?"
He nodded "it is, just please tell me I'll be working with you again Liv I've learned so much from you."
She sighed slightly "Nick I can't promise you that because I don't make promises that I'm not sure I can keep... But what I can tell you is that your a great cop, you've learned a lot in the 2 years we've been partnered together and weather I'm your partner or not when I return to work the 3 of us will still be good friends," she said as Elliot nodded his head in agreement and the 2 small kids played in the grass together oblivious to the conversation taking place.
Amaro sighed slightly "it sounds like you've already made up your mind that we won't be partners Liv."
She shook her head slightly and sighed as in her head she already knew who it was she'd wanna work with when the time came but she didn't have the guts to ask for it and didn't want Amaro's feelings to be hurt "it's not that I just really don't know what's gonna happen in the next few months s-so I don't wanna make any promises," she said as her heart rate was starting to skyrocket and Elliot noticed and started to gently sift his fingers through her hair "maybe you should wait and continue this conversation a little ways down the road," he said to Amaro as his voice was soft but his facial expression was hard and adamant.
Amaro nodded slightly "I-I understand," he said as he stepped away and over to the kids "baby what's the matter? What's making your pulse race like this?" Elliot asked softly.
Olivia sighed slightly "I-I just realized that whenever I do go back I-I think I'll need a partner with more experience than him b-but I-I can't tell him that b-because he'll think I don't wanna work with him for some reason a-and it'll hurt his feelings a-and"-
"Shhh, shhh, shhh it's alright baby you still have a long time before you have to think about that stuff... You were right to say what you said too because whenever you do go back you may feel differently than you do right now in this moment then again you may not it's impossible to know," he said softly.
She nodded "I-I just don't wanna hurt his feelings..." she said knowing deep down in her heart how much it hurt to lose a partner.
He nodded "I understand baby and you answered his question in the best way you could have if it had been me I would have given the same answer."
Olivia nodded her head slightly and quickly dried her tears the best she could and tried to focus on their surroundings as Amaro walked back over and noticed her eyes "shit Liv I wasn't trying to make you cry."
She nodded slightly "I know Nick," she said as she tried to laugh it off "every thing's been making me more emotional here lately."
Amaro nodded and smiled small "why don't me and you take the kids over to the lake to feed the ducks? I brought a loaf of bread."
"We brought some too, not quite a loaf though," she said as she glanced at Elliot who smiled "it's up to you honey I can come or stay here which ever you want me to do."
"Liv I thought we could maybe talk for a minute while they fed the ducks," Amaro said.
Olivia sighed looking conflicted as Elliot thought for a moment "your still wanting to make that photo album right?"
Olivia nodded "yeah the stuff for it is at home though."
He nodded "we can buy you new materials I just thought you guys helping them feed the ducks would be a good picture to go in there."
She nodded slightly "i-it would be."
He nodded "go on then sweetheart I'll take the pictures and we'll still be able to see each other," he said as she stood from the bench "she's got some sore ribs Nick take that into account while your walking," he said as Amaro nodded and they strolled over to where the kids were.
Once the kids had been shown how to feed the ducks and Zara was helping Izzabella Amaro turned to Olivia "Olivia why don't you just tell Stabler that you want him to come out of retirement? It's obvious that that's what you want."
Olivia sighed "it's complicated."
"No it isn't Liv, it's not complicated at all you want him to partner with you again and you should tell him that."
Olivia sighed "Amaro he left for a reason and I can't ask him to come back for me."
Amaro sighed "you can Olivia you guys talk about every thing..." he said as a realization then hit him "your afraid if you ask him he'll say no..."
Olivia teared up again as Amaro nodded knowing he had hit the truth as Elliot saw the tears and abandoned his photo taking as he ran over "okay Amaro your done," he said as he gently wrapped an arm around Olivia and pulled her off to the side.
Amaro sighed sadly as he felt bad for his friend he wouldn't say no, he thought to himself knowingly as Izzabella ran over to him "mr. Nick? What's wrong with mommy?"
"She's just sad right now sweetie she'll be okay soon," he said confidently.
Izzabella just nodded slightly as Kathleen ran over "get away from that stranger girly," she said as she pulled her into her arms.
"He's not a stranger Katie..." she wined.
"Who is he then?" she asked.
"Mr. Nick," she said.
Kathleen nodded "did you just meet him today?"
She shook her head "nnhnn he ate steak with us once."
Kathleen nodded "was daddy there?"
Izzabella nodded "mmhmm," she said.
Kathleen nodded slightly then looked to Amaro "sir who are you?"
He smiled slightly at her "I'm Nick Amaro from Manhattan SVU, I am, was Liv's partner."
"Ahh okay..." she said as her body language relaxed slightly "it's nice to meet you sir sorry about that it's just there are to many dangerous men that lerk around these places and I wasn't gonna let her get hurt on my watch."
Amaro nodded with a smile "I understand really ma'am your a good aunt."
She smiled some "I get that a lot but I'm her half sister."
"Ohh.." Amaro said surprised as Olivia and Elliot walked back over to the group "she okay?" he asked Elliot.
Elliot sighed "she seems to be now but she never told me what was wrong in the first place so all I can say is I hope so."
Amaro's face fell slightly but he nodded all the same "why don't we all take a walk down 1 of the nature trails?" he suggested.
"Sounds good to us," the older siblings and Carl said as once Elliot made sure Liv was up for it he agreed and they set off towards the blackberry trail.