With Or Without You
A/n: Whoa...I did not think I could update so soon, but low and behold, I did! Here it is guys, full of the good stuff, except the lemon which will be coming in about, oh, a little bit...lol.
Oh! BTW, I've gotten 6706 hits for this story! OMG you guys! That's so awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you! But...that also means that there are 6535 people who AREN'T reviewing! Lol, oh well, that's fine. Thank you guys who do! I really , really appreciate it! I really do!
Here are the replies to the reviews which I said would come:
vimpire-dogdemongirl89: Yay! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who cried! Lol.
The Kaizeress: I'm glad that you think so! Thanks for the review!
Damian 2.0: Oooh, thank you so much!
yin vs yang: Thanks for the review!
Anonymous person (): I know! I loved Sirius! He was my favorite character and I now I'm praying that she brings him back, though I know it is so very unlikely...oh well. Thanks for the review though!
Skye: Well here you go m'dear! Does he live or die! Dum dum dummm! Lol.
Inuyasha'swife15: Yeah, I thought that was pretty dang cowardly too.
ZeRO: Please, please don't think that I was annoyed. Your review was polite and helpful. The person that irritated me the most was of course, an anonymous review and they were just simply rude about it. I did not mean to come off as sounding annoyed with my comment and I'm sorry if you took it that way! I really am! Like I said, you were nice and polite and offered a nice bit of info on the Japanese language. Also, thank you for the awesome review! I love ones that are long like that:P
Mmoirai: Isn't emotional tension wonderful? Lol. Thanks for the review.
rosesbleedto: Thanks for another gold star m'dear. Yes, I wasn't too sure if I was happy or not that Harry kissed Ginny. I mean, I like Ginny but...idk. And Ron and Hermione, aren't they cute?
Yuki Asao: Aww thank you!
BrucesGirl: Thanks for such a nice and long review, I love reviews like that! And I will make time to read your story, I always do when reviewers ask me to. So once I get an ounce of time, I will read it:P
HawkAngel XD: Thank you! And thanks for the review!
Lov ya 4 eva: Heck yeah they're awesome! Lol. Thanks for the review!
sphinx: Hmm, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? Lol, thanks for the review!
Cassie1: You know, I've actually heard that one b/c a few years ago, when I was reading DBZ fanfiction, and I would read fics of one of my favorite couples, Bulma/Vegeta, the writers always said "Aishiteru" when their characters were talking, so that's one tiny thing in Japanese I know, and I just decided, what the heck, this lady's name will be Ai. Lol.
Chapter Eleven
As It All Comes Falling Down
>
Sesshomaru's eyes held the old man's for quite some time. His grasp upon the Toukijin tighter than ever. He could hear nothing but his own heartbeat and the man before him, panting.
'Rin! His daughter? Is this the man who took Rin in?'
His mind was buzzing as his eyes searched the old man's face. Though it were a low blow, it had worked. Sesshomaru had been totally caught off guard for this one.
Kisho stared up at the vicious youkai, his ears ringing in the deafening silence.
'So he is the one. He's the infamous Lord Sesshomaru, not the evil creature, but the one Rin adores...I knew it.'
"She's only seventeen and...and without a father she'll be so alone. And to know that a man such as yourself, that...that she holds in such high regard has murdered her father, she'll be devastated!" continued Kisho suddenly, searching his mind for anything that could keep him alive longer.
Sesshomaru felt his heart racing quicker than ever. She had spoken of him to this mortal? She had spoken of him to other people? And...and she held him in 'high regard'?
Sesshomaru gripped the Toukijin and rose it high once again.
He frowned deeply and growled low in his throat.
"How do you know this!" was all he could think of to reply, though it did little to satisfy the billions of questions circling about his mind.
Kisho rose a bit higher on his knees, though he flinched as Sesshomaru lifted his sword a few inches higher to let the man know he was still in charge. He licked his dry, chapped lips, tasting both blood and dirt.
He could hear his men about him, moaning and groaning as they tried desperately to move away from Sesshomaru.
They needed to go home. They needed to see their wives and children. Most of them had not even been given the chance to find a wife.
He needed to be honest with this youkai or he would surely die.
"Letters," he finally whispered.
"My wife writes me nearly every week. She mentioned you for the first time in years two weeks ago. She said, th-that you had come to see our Rin."
Sesshomaru simply replied flatly, "Everyone across your pathetic land has already heard of this. Every mortal I know is a gossip. You could be easily lying."
Kisho waved his hands quickly. "No, no! She also spoke of how Rin's attitude has changed since you left!"
Sesshomaru quirked a brow in curiosity. 'So she too has been affected by my absence?'
"How so?" Sesshomaru asked cooly, despite the unbridled hope swelling in the depths of his cold heart. He wanted nothing more than to swing quickly and turn away without a second thought.
Before he met Rin, he could have easily done it. Without her angelic voice and innocent face within his mind, he could have killed mercilessly. Now, knowing that this man's death would effect her, hurt her even, it kept him from swinging. He knew, despite how hard his pride was arguing it, that he would not kill this man.
Kisho gulped, blinking rapidly.
"She's lost her appetite, and she cries when no one is around. And...and she does not smile unless, unless someone tries to make her smile and even, e-even then Adzumi said it was fake. She has also been rumored to call out your name in her sleep. I have the letters on my saddle, if you wish me to fetch th-"
Sesshomaru stared solemnly, though inside his emotions were spinning and swirling faster than ever. She sounded as if she were...heartbroken.
As Kisho tried to speak once again, Sesshomaru rose a hand up and lowered his sword. "She is engaged to a mortal man. She loves him. Why would she be so upset over my leave?" he spat quietly, trying to keep his tone level.
Sesshomaru watched as the man searched and searched for an answer, but he soon looked up hopelessly and sighed.
He finally replied in a strong tone, "I do not know, youkai. To be honest, she's never truly declared her love for the boy as he has her. Perhaps she only likes him...I don't really know. In the beginning, it was supposed to be an arranged marriage, to unite our small villages into one great one. However," he continued, "Roiyaru fell for Rin and asked for her hand in marriage. So, thinking that Rin liked him equally, I gave my permission. Before two weeks ago, she was willing to marry him."
Sesshomaru spoke not a word as he registered this new information.
Kisho shrugged loosely though, and replied, "But that is neither here nor there, for it happened a few months ago. All that I know now is that before you came back, my daughter was a carefree and happy girl. Now...now she sounds as if she is dying, killing herself. You must have done something to her-"
Sesshomaru lunged forward quicker than lightning and gripped the man by the collar tightly.
"I did nothing to her!" he snarled viciously, fangs barred and eyes ablaze.
Kisho stared at him as bravely as he could, curling his upper lip in fear..
He now understood.
It made so much sense to him, now that the youkai was acting so differently. Though he were most definitely aristocratic and articulate compared to others of his kind, he had something no other demon Kisho had ever heard of had.
Emotions.
He was obviously in love with Rin.
And now, with this last puzzle piece in place, Kisho realized that his daughter had also fallen for the youkai. Lady Adzumi had never stated it clearly, but her clues had always hinted that their adopted daughter had changed. No longer innocent to the emotions of adults, she was in love and now heartbroken because he, Sesshomaru, had left her to a marriage she did not want.
So he said not a word, but he simply stood there when Sesshomaru finally set him back down.
Sesshomaru turned away from Kisho, his golden eyes catching the afternoon sunlight, turning them almost a dark orange.
She couldn't be doing this. She was smarter than this, to starve herself! And crying? Rin rarely ever cried! Sesshomaru could count on one hand, in fact; how many times he had seen her cried.
And calling out his name in the night?
It meant that she too, dreamt of him as he did her.
'No, Rin would never imagine such things as I. She's still so young, isn't she?' his inner self argued. 'She is seventeen.'
Kisho watched as the youkai turned from him.
He had struck, yet another nerve with the youkai and just as Kisho began to try and analyze this rare creature, Sesshomaru thrust his sword back at Kisho, just an inch from the man's throat.
Sesshomaru stared at him angrily for a few, everlasting moments. His eyes switched from each of Kisho's before he finally spoke in a forced, stern tone.
"If I find that your words are false old man, I promise you that I shall have no regret in hunting down and slaying you, your men and anyone who is, in anyway, attached to you. Do you understand?"
Kisho tilted his head back slightly as Sesshomaru pressed the wickedly sharp tip of the sword against his throat. He felt it prick his skin, stinging and searing as the wind hit the new, tiny wound.
"My words are true youkai...but by the time you find out their sincerity, it may be too late."
Sesshomaru rose his head slightly in question.
Kisho licked his lips once again.
"Rin marries in less than two weeks. Should you take too long, she will be a married woman by the time you reach her."
Sesshomaru let out a small snarl before he turned on his heel, sheathing Toukijin, before glancing to the creepily quiet Jaken.
He said not a word, but took off as a white light once again, heading back towards the northeast, retracing his steps.
>
Rin stepped out of her garden after another hour or so of seclusion.
Inside, her family was buzzing and bumbling about with the wedding plans. She had said her part when needed and now found that she had nothing to do, but simply wait. It was only nine days away.
She let out a soft sigh, Lord Kisho's last letter in her hand. It had been written four days ago and mentioned only that they were almost done with the west and would soon return home. She almost felt as if the worst was over now. That perhaps, by some chance, Sesshomaru had lost the humans. If he hadn't, he would have found them long ago...wouldn't he?
"Lady Rin!" came an exasperated cry, the once voice that always interrupted her thoughts.
Rin raced around the building to where she heard running footsteps. She could barely run thanks to the constrictions of her tight kimono, but made due and soon found young Tokiko racing towards her as well. Concern was evident amongst her bright, wide eyes.
"M'lady, I must speak with you privately!"
>
The letter had come just a few days ago, and he had only been home minutes before a servant from Lord Kisho's village had come racing towards him, waving a letter madly. "M'lord, m'lord!" he had called out.
"A letter from Lady Saeko, eldest daughter of Lord Kisho! She says that it is urgent that you read it immediately!"
Roiyaru had taken the letter with little thought, thinking it were only plans of the wedding. Perhaps a change on the time or something.
It was most certainly not plans for the wedding.
Roiyaru stared at the letter with wide eyes, now three days later.
His hands shook, and his heart was hammering within his chest as it broke.
Were these words true?
Did her sisters write in pure honesty or resentful lies?
He had not even thought of reading the letter until only minutes ago, and now he understood its urgency.
"Roiyaru? What's wrong, dear?" came his mother's voice.
He turned to her and handed her the letter before he rose up.
He knew all too well what it said, for he had read it over and over again, praying that he had misread parts of it. And yet, he had read it correctly each time. The words were branded in his memory and he could do nothing to remove them.
As his mother began to read it aloud, he raced outside to the stables.
The woman's eyes swept over the letter slowly, murmuring the words quietly to herself:
Lord Roiyaru,
It is only in the interest of yours and my beloved younger sister, Rin's welfare, that I write you this. I hope that your health and fortune are well. I also pray that your family is well and thriving. I must also congratulate you upon the engagement of my dear sister for at least, the hundredth time, but I must not delay in delivering my bad news.
Just last night, as I lay awake reading, I heard Rin whimpering out for that evil, vile youkai, Sesshomaru. She was calling out to him as, dare I say, a lover would. And though I know this seems very unlikely of our dear, innocent Rin, it is not the first time she has called out to him. Just a few nights ago, my youngest sister, Ami, claims to have heard her calling out to him in her sleep.
She has become so thin and weak ever since that youkai left, that it seems she may have loved him, and I am very concerned for her health. Perhaps a wedding is not the best of ideas right now, with her condition being so feeble. I do not know if her condition is so frail because of that youkai or of any other ailments, but I honestly think that it is because she is in love with him. There is also the possibility that she was bewitched somehow by that evil, cruel man, but the doctor and I find it unlikely.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I found it most difficult to hide such information from such a good man as yourself and my other, most wise twin sister, Namiko, insisted that it would be most beneficial to both you and Rin if I bring this serious issue out into the open.
Sincerely,
Lady Saeko, daughter of Lord Kisho
>
Roiyaru quickly prepared himself to leave for the short long ride to Rin's village.
His thoughts were dizzying and he just barely heard the voice of a man, coming towards the stables.
"Lord Roiyaru!"
He turned and frowned, his handsome features faltering a moment. 'Not more bad news.'
He noticed the man wore Lord Kisho's colors, racing haphazardly towards him.
"Lord Roiyaru!" he called out, bowing quickly before the man's feet.
Roiyaru bent down, noting the traces of blood upon the man's body. "What? What is it?"
The man drank in a gulp of air before he spoke.
"Lord...Lord Kisho...his men are badly injured...need your help!" he rasped out.
Roiyaru knew of Lord Kisho well. He was an honest man, and though his heart cried out to run to Rin, he knew that his love for her would be nothing if she found out he had done nothing to help her injured father.
Roiyaru turned to his horse and mounted. "Where are they?"
The messenger rose up and turned, red faced and tired, to Roiyaru. "In the Western Lands, making their way home! I do not know how long they will make it!"
Roiyaru nodded and without a word to his mother as she raced outside, he took off towards the west.
He glanced over his shoulder and called out to a puzzled looking stable boy. "Send ten men with me!" he called out.
>
"She told him that I loved him!" cried out Rin, her face growing paler and paler by the minute as panic coursed through her.
Tokiko nodded. "Yes, m'lady. I spoke with the woman who wrote Lady Saeko's words. Though I know it is not right to speak of words like these, when taken in confidentiality, but I thought that you must know, m'lady. Lord Roiyaru must surely know by now!"
Rin had heard all she needed and turned on her heel as anger and dread spread over her. Though she would now, not deny her feelings for Lord Sesshomaru, considering that her engagement may be crumbling, she could not believe how Saeko had acted!
How dare she!
She and Rin had grown up together! They had loved one another!
Or at least Rin had loved her...perhaps Saeko had never gotten over her jealousy as the others had.
"Mother!" she suddenly called out into the busy mansion.
Servants glanced at her with wide eyes. Never did the so gentle and soft spoken Lady Rin yell in doors. Actually, she never raised her voice at all.
Rin rushed upstairs, ignoring all the whispers around her as she soon found her mother, speaking with a short fat man.
Lady Adzumi's welcoming smile fell as soon as she saw Rin's expression.
"Whatever is the matter Rin?"
Rin let out a small sigh before she explained how her sister had betrayed her, even if Rin had confided in no one of her secret feelings. She told her of how Saeko had told Roiyaru that she was in love with Sesshomaru and was now supposedly starving herself because of it.
She didn't care about the fuel she giving to the gossips around her. She was beyond the point of caring anymore.
And then she, as she finished, she watched her mother for a reaction, which she found none.
Lady Adzumi simply dismissed all the people around her and led Rin to her room. Then finally when in privacy, she asked Rin quite blatantly, "Do you love him, Rin?"
Rin looked up, her eyes wide.
"Roiyaru?"
Lady Adzumi cocked her head to the side and smiled dryly, her eyes keenly staring into Rin's.
"No. Sesshomaru, Rin. Do you love Sesshomaru?"
Rin knew not whether to answer honestly or lie. So she unconsciously cowered under the woman's strong gaze.
>
A/n: Okay, so, everybody's in a little dilemma, huh? I hope ya'll liked this chapter. I thought of it just when I woke up this morning and decided that I just had to write it! I'm not sure if the next update will be as soon as this one was. I doubt it b/c I've got a ton of crap coming up, so it may not be until the weekend when I can update. See ya!