With Or Without You
A/n: Hello. Not much to say, but here is yet another chapter! Here's my comments to the last chapter's reviews too. Enjoy!
Nilee: No m'dear, I'm afraid he still hasn't! Lol.
heymary: Don't worry, everything will work out in the end...eventually. Lol.
Inuyasha'swife15: Don't even worry about it darlin! Mothers all tend to be that way occasionally. I'm glad you liked the chappie and I hope you like this one, I have a feeling you might!
DarkHanyouHeart: (squeaks) I'm so happy to hear that you've added this to your favorites! Thank you so, so, so much! (squeaks) I too love sappy love stories! Lol. ;P
sphinx: Well this is what will happen m'dear. :D
The Kaizeress: Why yes, there is! Soon! Thanks for the review!
Yuki Asao: Here is the next chappie dear! Thanks for reviewing!
SweetyPieRin: Oh I'm so happy you love my story so much! I really, really am! And I think your pen name is just so cute, I love it! Lol.
HawkAngel XD: Hope you like this one too!
aferdeity: Yes, we all love the angst! Lol. Yes, I have promised quite awhile ago that there WILL be a lemon, just not in this chapter. As for his arm...I'm not sure how I could work that one out, lol, but I'll try and think of a way!
ZeRO: Well at the end of this chapter it's five days till the wedding for everybody and Roiyaru and Sesshomaru are both about 3 or 4 days away from the village, so they'll be cutting it close...that is if they encounter no obstacles or distractions. And no, Roiyaru's never seen Sesshomaru, but they will run into each...soon.
Hieilover28: Oh thank you so much! No, I'm okay now and my car is still deceased, lol. I just saw the third movie last night and omg, I totally loved it. Yeah I know, it came out a bit ago, but I'm slow when it comes to getting my anime junk, lol. Thanks for the review and btw Hiei so definitely rocks, lol.
Skye: Well I'm sorry you had to wait so long. Yes, that chappie was sad and this one is if you like Roiyaru, but your kind of not supposed to SOO, it's not that sad. Lol.
Chranze: Yes, now it all starts coming together and I promise you that the lemon is not far away! Very close in fact! Thanks for the review!
Kalana Fox: I'm glad and sorry at the same time that you can relate with Rin. I'm glad that my writing was able to connect w/ you, but I'm sorry that you've lost so many people. Thank you for always faithfully reviewing dear, also!
Chapter Fourteen
Masquerading With A Smile
>
Roiyaru stared over the rocky cliff, his eyes narrowing upon Kisho's wobbling army.
They were moving slowly up the mountain, but appeared to be much better off than he had presumed. They had found them so quickly that they must have been traveling constantly. He was impressed to say the least. He turned to his right hand man and ordered him to go and help them.
Roiyaru followed close behind, his eyes searching for Kisho.
When he came upon the men, they cheered and laughed, their eyes full of renewed faith. Up close, they were much worse. Bloody, bruised and battered, they appeared to have fought a tremendously powerful enemy.
Roiyaru patted a few acquaintances and sped through the men. They parted slowly for him, looking up to him with joyful smiles. Then there, in the center of them, was Kisho.
He was upon his horse, hunched over tiredly. A hand held his middle as his sleepy eyes found Roiyaru's and took a moment to focus, before a wry smile spread across his lips.
"Roiyaru, m'boy. What a wonder it is to see you," he whispered gruffly.
Roiyaru grinned broadly, bowing before the older man. "What happened, m'lord? Who did this to you?" he asked sternly, getting straight to the point. The sooner he helped these men, the sooner he could return to Rin.
A flicker of fear swept past Kisho's face before he soon recovered and grinned. "Just a youkai, that's all. We'll be fine," he replied lightly.
"Just a youkai? What kind of youkai? Did you defeat him?" Roiyaru asked quickly, his handsome features twisting into a frown of concern.
Kisho sighed heavily. "Just a youkai, Roiyaru. Do not worry about it." He glanced about his men and sighed again. "I suppose one of my men slipped away to warn you that we were 'dying'?" he asked gently.
Roiyaru nodded. "Yes, why? Was he not supposed to?"
Kisho shrugged, watching Roiyaru's men help the weakest of his.
"We were getting along just fine. In fact, I'm quite proud of how fast we are moving considering our conditions," he said with a weak smile.
Roiyaru studied the man, his eyes searching for a clue as to why he was being so secretive as to the identity of the demon who had done this.
With a gentle shrug, he turned back to Kisho.
"Come, let us eat before we head back home," he offered.
Roiyaru accepted with a lying smile.
>
Sesshomaru stepped silently into the cool river, his muscles involuntarily tensing as the low temperatures of the water caressed his bare skin. His tired body relished in the feel of fresh water against it.
It was late at night. The skies above him were bright and clear, just as they had been in his dreams. He could feel his pulse quicken at the mere thought of them.
'Why does she do this to me? She's just another wench, isn't she?'
He looked up to night sky above him, closing his eyes slowly as he finally began to allow darker, deeper thoughts of Rin to swirl about his mind.
He had to admit that he missed her. He missed her warm laughter more than ever. And finally her gentle scent had worn off of his clothing, leaving him with only the scent of himself. He could see her big brown eyes, so full of emotion. He still envied her secretly. He couldn't allow himself such a weakness, yet she expressed nearly every emotion proudly.
With a miserable sigh, he dipped lower into the water as he began to bathe himself.
It was getting late, and soon he would resume his pursuit of her village.
>
Rin awoke with a headache that next morning.
She moved about that morning as if she were in a daze, not really there, but not gone either. She greeted each of her siblings with kindness, including Saeko who was quite disturbed by it.
She kissed her mother's cheek when she arrived for breakfast, and even spoke lightly with everyone about the beautiful weather. Though she were still so very pale and gaunt, her spirit seemed to be renewed.
But it wasn't.
Inside she was aching, yet she refused to pout over the loss of Sesshomaru anymore. Her new life was permanent, or it appeared to be. There was no point in thinking about it over and over again. She refused to die of a broken heart for him, when it had been he, Sesshomaru, who had given her a second chance at life years ago.
"You seem to have finally realized you're getting married soon, m'lady!" giggled Tokiko later that morning.
Rin forced a soft grin and nodded. "Yes, I believe it has only hit me recently that I am actually going to get married."
Tokiko nodded, happily brushing Rin's thick hair, while humming softly as her mistress seemed to be herself once again. Everyone was breathing a little easier now that she was bright and friendly again. She had put them all through a small scare. Some blamed it on her head injury, others on a spell from Sesshomaru.
Tokiko knew her mistress well and knew that she had missed the attractive youkai more than she allowed to show. To Tokiko, it was obvious. However, some were not as observant as she, so they tried to come up with their own outlandish excuses.
Rin stared at her reflection in the mirror with that fake grin still spreading across her lips. She blinked a few times, refusing to cry. Her eyes became glossy and her cheeks flushed, but the smile remained.
'It doesn't even look like me,' she thought bitterly, watching herself as she spoke with Tokiko about Lord Kisho's soon return.
She felt as if a mask had been seared into her skin, forcing her to parade around as some doll. Inside, she felt hollow and empty. No longer did she have a secret hope for someone to rescue her from this boring life. It was gone.
Reality had slapped her viciously in the face, forcing her to awake from such a wonderful, security of a dream. She was no longer wondering about with a soft smile that held a sweet secret. Her secret had been exposed by her step-sister, forcing her to soon, bare it before Roiyaru.
Despite the terrible position she was in, she was not that worried about Roiyaru confronting her about her feelings for Sesshomaru. In fact, she was almost anticipating it. It would be exciting. A little drama right now would be nice to get her mind off of Sesshomaru.
Rin frowned visibly, casting her eyes downward as she felt that vile lump of guilt within her.
'I'm going to enjoy hurting Roiyaru?' she thought bitterly. 'He's been so sincere, so loving, and I'm excited about telling him that I love another man. I'm just as malicious as Lord Sesshomaru!'
Rin felt her lower lip quivering and she closed her eyes to battle against her guilty heart.
"M'lady, have I hurt you?" asked Tokiko quickly, pulling the brush far from Rin's head.
Rin's eyes snapped open and she laughed gently. "Oh no...I'm just so happy that my father will be here in time for my wedding, that's all. I'm so relieved that he's okay," she lied, gritting her teeth in an unbearably fake smile.
Tokiko bought it and nodded, relief washing over her plain face. "Oh yes, we are all relieved that Lord Kisho will return soon. In fact, I heard some of the messenger boys say that it may be either two or three days for when he returns."
Rin smiled sheepishly with a nod. "Five days."
Tokiko frowned. "What was that m'lady?"
Rin looked up to the girl and continued to smile. "Five days and I will be a married woman." She then asked softly, "Have you heard when Roiyaru will be back?"
Tokiko thought a moment and sighed. "The last I heard, he had just met up with your father, so I'm sure he will return at the same time. Don't you think?"
Rin turned back to the mirror as Tokiko resumed brushing her hair.
"Yes," she whispered, her smile faltering. "I'm sure he'll accompany Father back. He's a good man. He won't let anything happen to my father."
Tokiko nodded. "Yes, Lord Roiyaru is a fine man. You are very lucky to have him, Lady Rin."
Rin did not reply, but simply began to fiddle with a hair pin lying in her lap. She could not bare to look at the lying girl in the mirror, for tears would definitely sprout from her eyes if she did.
>
Roiyaru studied Kisho from across the fire as he sipped his tea, his dark eyes searching for the lie he knew was hidden underneath the rawhide skin of the large man. Kisho was continuously avoiding his gaze, but simply eating away at his food.
After nearly an hour of this, Roiyaru became fed up with it and moved to sit right next to Kisho so that no others would hear his words.
"Lord Kisho, I must beg you to tell me what happened to you and your men. It was no mere youkai that did this to you. I am no fool," he whispered quickly, his eyes piercing against his soon to be father-in-law. Kisho took a final swig of his sake and turned to Roiyaru.
"You are young and hot headed, Roiyaru. Should I tell you, you would race off and get yourself killed. So why should I bother? I cannot have my daughter's future husband dying before she can even marry him," he answered finally.
Roiyaru looked as if he had been slapped. No one ever spoke like that to him.
"What? I am not some hotheaded youth, m'lord. I am the son of a very wealthy lord and your most favored daughter's fiancee! Why are speaking like this to me?" he asked, his voice sounding more whiney than angry.
Kisho cut his eyes towards Roiyaru. "I will not doubt your intelligence, but your feelings for my daughter have dulled your common sense and fueled your stupidity. Like I said, should I tell you who did this, you will leave in a mad fit."
Roiyaru shook his head. He couldn't believe this! Though he knew he had changed since he had fallen for Rin, never had he acted like a fool before. He had always been sensible and mature. Who was it that would make him go into a fit of rage like Kisho suggested?
And then, as he looked at the man, he realized it.
"Sesshomaru."
The name fell off his lips as if he had been punched in the gut.
Kisho slowly closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.
Roiyaru felt a hot flash of anger sweep over him despite how he wished to prove Kisho wrong.
"Sesshomaru did this didn't he? That bastard who has bewitched Rin?" he asked viciously, his tone still low, thought a few men nearby noticed his sudden change of mood.
Kisho turned to him, eyes blazing with mixed emotions as he tried to keep his voice just as low.
"Rin is no love hungry wench, Roiyaru. She has set her heart upon this youkai, and though I do not wish nor condone it, she loves him."
Kisho turned to face Roiyaru fully, who had was now flushed with both anger and embarrassment.
"Boy, I did not wish for you to find out this way, but you would have made a fool of yourself had no one told you. The marriage would have been a lie and my daughter miserable for as long as she was with you."
Roiyaru slowly pulled out the small letter from Saeko and handed it to Kisho with a shaky hand. It's edges were worn and ripped from being re-read millions of times on the way while searching for Kisho.
The old man read over it only once before he handed it back to Roiyaru. "So you knew?"
Roiyaru shrugged numbly, hating to have heard it from two separate parties that the love of his life were in love with a dangerous, blood thirsty demon.
"I had an idea, but I thought that perhaps it were only a sister's jealousy."
Kisho chuckled gently, causing Roiyaru to grow even angrier.
"Saeko was always the jealous one, that's for sure. Her and Namiko."
Roiyaru did not hear these words, for he rose up and raced over to his horse. This had to be settled and the only one could who give him that final ounce of proof was the woman herself.
>
The morning sun blazed overhead as he walked amongst the glossy fields, leading to Rin's village. In perhaps a day, he would make it there. His golden eyes, matching the heated sun's hue, were simply sweeping over the landscape idly.
He had traveled all across Japan countless times that though it were more than beautiful, nothing amazed him anymore. Perhaps it were a curse that the immortal carried. All things beautiful would loose their value in time, for he would grow tired of them.
It were a sickening thought that suddenly disturbed Sesshomaru.
If all things lost their appeal for him in time, would Rin be the same?
She were mortal and she would age. She would grow old and decay, while he would stay perfect and youthful. Were this all worth a few years of happiness, only to loose her to something he was incapable of stopping?
Death could be prevented easily. He could protect her from anything. Illness could be easily undone with a sword he once thought useless. However, were she to die an old woman, he could not bring her back.
Her time would be over and she would be ready to die after living a full life. Sesshomaru scowled. He did not like the thought of her being able to die happy, her life's thirst satisfied while he had to continue on alone. It were selfish, but the truth.
'Jaken will be there,' his subconscious mused dryly.
Despite the dark, sad side of this, something within him cried out. It was quiet and he tried his damndest to ignore it. A voice within yelled out that though they would be only a few years in Sesshomaru's eyes, wouldn't they be worth it?
Would he rather go on throughout life, never knowing the happiness that a woman's loving touch could bring? Would he prefer to go on alone, always regretting that he left her to a life she would hate?
His steps became slower as his thoughts grew deeper.
Years ago, he had subconsciously made a silent vow to always protect Rin, to keep her happy in anyway. Would he break this personal promise to preserve himself?
He stopped dead in his tracks.
Not because of the question at hand, but because of the distinct scent that had just swept past him.
He strained his ears to hear any sound, but heard nothing.
'He must be a few miles away.'
Sesshomaru sniffed the air again and caught wind of the scent again.
In a flash, he took off towards its origin.
"What is Inuyasha doing here still?" he asked no one aloud.
He felt his blood pumping and his muscles tensing in anticipation of a fight.
'Five days,' whispered a voice within.
Sesshomaru ignored it.
He was fully aware of what little time he had left. He was close enough to the village to be able to defeat Inuyasha and be back in time to speak with her before she swore herself away to another man.
There!
In a clearing he sat with once again, his small family and that damn demon slayer and monk.
They were all talking loudly, the women laughing as the older of Inuyasha's boys chased about a pretty little girl of about two or three. Sesshomaru presumed that she were the monk and woman's offspring.
Sesshomaru snarled.
'Is everyone having damn children?'
Kagome was cooing softly once again to the babe in her arms as his golden eyes stared up to her lovingly. Sesshomaru watched as his half-brother leaned over and ruffled the boy's full head of ebony hair. Sesshomaru could only sneer. 'Pathetic.'
He watched as the other woman, the monk's mate, captured the giggling little girl in her arms and held her tightly in a warm embrace. The little girl pressed against her mother, her face free of worry or fear. It was a look Sesshomaru rarely saw upon children when he were near.
"Natsu almost got you didn't he?" she asked the child kindly.
The little girl nodded shyly, burying her face against her mother's chest.
Sesshomaru was not the sentimental type, so he found no warmth in these loving displays of affection.
He could always just go visit Rin and then deal with his brother afterwards. They were obviously busy with their mundane lives.
'No!' snapped his pride loudly within.
"...still alive? It's not shocking. I really didn't believe Sango when she told me."
Sesshomaru glanced to the monk.
"Well he was ready for a fight, that's for damn sure," muttered Inuyasha, glancing to his son a moment before looking back to Kagome.
She nodded quickly, ponytail bouncing. "Yes, but who can blame him? Inuyasha's been just as restless for a fight as Sesshomaru ever since Naraku died."
Miroku shrugged. "I understand. The demons that do occasionally resurface are hardly worth calling demons. Sango could handle them all by herself if I let her," he confessed.
Sesshomaru was growing bored with watching these four and decided that perhaps he could attack the monk's new home just to stir things up a bit. He sounded just as bored as Sesshomaru and his brother.
Sesshomaru began to walk on, ignoring the urge to go after his brother when the winds suddenly changed direction.
Before Sesshomaru could realize it, Inuyasha was standing up with a scowl of determination upon his face.
"What the hell are you doing here Sesshomaru!" he yelled out loudly, unsheathing Tetsusaiga with one hand while pushing Natsu back towards Miroku with the other.
Sesshomaru let out a small sigh, but did not feel too upset about being caught. It wasn't like he was going to run away, explaining to his brother that he needed to go crash a mortal woman's wedding because he was in love with her.
'What! I don't love her.'
"I can't believe it," he heard Sango whisper as she scooped up her daughter, resting her on her curvy hip. The woman's eyes were wide with a hidden fear. She seemed much more ready to fight than Kagome had when he had first seen Inuyasha days ago.
Sesshomaru's eyes went to Miroku, who now stood with Inuyasha's brat at his side. He too, was alert and appeared somewhat intrigued.
Sesshomaru began to approach them, ignoring how Inuyasha snarled and bowed up.
Sesshomaru stood a few meters from the group, glancing about them with a disgusted look upon his face.
"So I see that my brother has not been the only one with more promiscuous plans as of late. Is it the new trend in your mortal world to have brats?" he asked snobbily.
Sango softly snorted and Sesshomaru wondered if he had struck a nerve with her.
He turned to her, but Miroku quickly stepped before her.
"Leave her alone, Sesshomaru. She is with child."
Sesshomaru cocked an ebony brow.
He had not noticed it from such a distant, but up close he could see the faint bulge of her stomach. She placed a hand on the soft swell of her belly, while holding the shy little girl in her other.
Sesshomaru looked back to Miroku. "I have no business with either of you."
He turned back to Inuyasha and faintly smirked. "I told you I would return to finish our little engagement earlier, didn't I?"
Inuyasha laughed. "I honestly doubted that you'd actually come back."
Sesshomaru suddenly charged. "That was your first mistake, little brother!"
>
A/n: Well, I know I had a lot of Kisho and Roiyaru and they aren't even Inuyasha characters, and I'm sorry but I had to give Roiyaru a reason to be heading back to Rin. Next chappie will be a nice fight w/ Inuyasha and Fluffy, plus Roiyaru. So, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I promise that the ones after this are all gonna be ten times better, so just be patient. I promise to have this finished by December at the latest, okay? See ya:P