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New semester meant new classes, which meant I was finally back in choir. I would miss Ponyboy and all his questions, but I needed to get out of art class. It was for the best. And it was great, it was, except that Sylvia Capoletti was on the riser right behind me and I swore every day that she was going to bite my head off. But that never happened. She didn't even acknowledge my existence.

It was for the best.

What did happen, though, was that the choir director approached me one day after class and told me I should consider auditioning for the musical.

xXx

"Nice night."

"It's really cold out, Two-Bit." And it was, but you could see some stars, and that was worth it.

"So," Two-Bit asked. "What's new with you?"

I shrugged, still looking up. "Not much. Gonna audition for the musical this week. You?"

We were avoiding the obvious thing. He kind of bobbed his side to side "It's going, sugar. It's going good." He wasn't being particularly convincing.

"Hmm. Yeah," I sighed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Is this a date?"

"Sure," he said, "if that's what you want it to be. I mean, I don't mind calling it a date."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You don't?"

"No. Hell, first time we came out to this parking lot, that's what I thought of it as. If that's okay with you," he added, slipped it in real quick.

I licked my bottom lip. Interesting, him thinking that, because that would mean I had been cheating on Jerry for over a month, if that was the case. And that meant that I should break up with him.

So why hadn't I done that?

"Do you have something on your mind, Two-Bit?" Because I did. "Because you look like you have something on your mind. Or – I might be wrong."

"Well, wouldn't be the first time," he joked.

I nudged his knee. "Well, I'd like to tell you something."

"Yeah? What is it?" I twiddled my thumbs, and he watched me worriedly. "Is something wrong? Are you okay? Hey, I can help you out if someone's bothering you. Okay? I'll take care of 'em – "

"It's not like that," I said quickly. "People aren't always in danger. It's…look, I don't know if you're gonna understand this, but I have to tell somebody about this. So listen up, okay?"

"I'm listenin', kid."

I sighed. "It has to do with Jerry."

"What about him?"

"Remember the fight I had with him?" I nodded. "He came over to dinner. And afterwards, he and I were doing the dishes in the kitchen. And he started talking about what it was like at his house, with his parents."

"Okay…"

"And I've met his parents. I know what their relationship is like. And I suppose they love each other, but I've grown up in a very different family than his. I…I don't just want to sit by. I have things I want to do with my life, and he apologized and all, but, I mean…he must still think, deep down, that I'm not supposed to want that. That I'm supposed to just…anyways, do you know what I mean?"

Two-Bit stared at me for a minute, and I wondered if I had scared him off with my feminist rant, but that's where we were going, right? And I realized that how Two-Bit responded to it would affect whether I wanted to see him anymore. "I know what you mean," he eventually said. "I mean, shit, my mother works. Mostly cuz she has to, but still. And if it means anything, personally, I don't think anybody could ever force you to just sit on the sidelines. You ain't like that."

I smiled, unsure. "Maybe. I don't know. I hope I'm not some…I hope I'm not someone who people think they can push around."

"I don't think you are," he assured me. "Hell, I've tried. Stubborn as a mule."

"Oh," I grimaced. "Well, that's not a very good thing, either."

"Well, you're either one or the other, ain't ya? You either let yourself get pushed around, or you plant yourself and don't ever budge. Pretty sure you're the latter."

"Pretty sure you are, too," I grumbled. "But that's just the thing! I don't think I'm one or the other. I think I let certain people push me around, and others – like you – I'm stubborn with. That can be the case."

"Yeah," he said slowly, "I s'pose so. So I guess that means your boyfriend is somebody you let push you around?"

I reeled back. "What?" That stung, but I realized he was right. I wasn't going to let him know that, but…he was right. "Have you…have you heard a word I've said? He and I fought about it!"

"Well, then why would you let him say something like that to you, Bridget? Why would you be with someone who would say something like that to you?"

"I didn't let him," I clarified. "I never knew he would ever say anything like that. And like I said, he apologized – it's fine."

Two-Bit shook his head. "Apologies mean nothin', Bridget. I should know." He gave me a meaningful look that I didn't quite understand. "I just don't like it. If it's such a big deal to you that he not push you around, why'd you forgive him?"

I was quickly losing my patience with this conversation. Why couldn't he just understand that this was my life, my boyfriend, and my decision to make? I shouldn't have told him about my love life. My mind was a mess again, knowing that I liked Two-Bit but couldn't seem to find the guts to leave Jerry. Even if I did, though, it wouldn't matter much. In what world would it be okay for us to be together?

"He's my boyfriend, ya know. I make decisions about my relationship with him, and you don't."

"Well, I'm not makin' a decision. I'm telling ya that he shouldn't say stuff like that to you. You know?"

"Like you would know," I spat. "I can do this myself, Two-Bit. I like him, alright? A lot. And if I want to give him a second chance, I'm not going to let you come in and tell me I can't."

Maybe that was a bit unfair. The face Two-Bit pulled convinced me of that. I figured he was well-intentioned, but why? I had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what he wanted just as much as I did, which wasn't saying much.

"Well, okay then," Two-Bit said cheerfully. "If you can do this on your own, I'll let ya." He stood up from his step and I panicked. I went from being annoyed with him to wanting him to stay in just a matter of seconds.

"Wait – what? Two-Bit!" I yelled after him. He turned back around.

I would later realize that this exact moment in time would repeat itself. De ja vu in its purest form. Me, calling after him so he wouldn't leave; him, turning around to look back at me. The second time around, he would be much happier with me. But that first time, he just turned and shook his head. Like he couldn't believe me. He did that a lot.

"What?" He called back.

I didn't know what to say. My tongue was lead in my mouth, and my mouth was zipped shut. I knew friends fought, but Two-Bit and I were at a point where we didn't quite know what we were, and it was all very fragile. He had taken it upon himself to kiss me on New Year's, and now we had gone back to our bickering ways. And in between, we were just two people talking at each other, like we had nothing else to talk about besides our other friends and those around us; every scandal that appeared was examined.

Except for Vickie and Dallas. I had told him about that and then we just…put it away.

"I'm going to leave now," I finally said.

Two-Bit just cocked an eyebrow. "Be my guest, Miz Stevens. I ain't gonna stop you from doing anything."

That was a loaded statement, and I knew it, but I stomped away to the T-Bird and drove off, fighting the urge to flip him off as I went.

xXx

"That's enough for today – see you all again tomorrow afternoon."

I collected my books and headed for the doors of the auditorium. I had ended up auditioning for the musical, like the choir director had suggested, and I had stood before her and Mrs. White and sang sixteen bars and did my monologue and left the audition with a pit in my stomach. I had thought I had failed spectacularly.

And then the cast list had come out, and there was my name in black and white, listed for the role of Reno in Anything Goes.

I thought I was going to pass out. Never in my life had I ever been cast as a lead in anything. The closest I had ever come was the piano solos I did at recitals. Sylvia had glared at me so hard I thought my head would explode, but I couldn't see what she was so upset about – she had been cast as the other leading female role, Hope. It amazed me that such a brash girl could have such a sweet-sounding voice. It was as if our roles were reversed: I had been cast as the feisty, sensual Reno, and she the fickle, sugary Hope. In real life, it was all the opposite. I'm not feisty, and about as sensual as a pole.

And Sylvia's a bitch.

The biting late-January air hit me in the face as I walked outside, making my eyes water. I should have asked Jerry to stay after so he could pick me up, but settled on taking the bus instead. But I never got on a bus; Vickie was waiting for me in the parking lot, smoking a cigarette as she leaned against her car.

"Didn't take you for a smoker," I said as I joined her.

She laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

Vickie sounded bitter, and I knew why. She had been that way since the dance. Dallas Winston had taken something from her that Vickie was saving. He wasn't the one she wanted to give herself away to. "Think you could give me a ride home?"

Vickie gave a short, sharp nod. "I have something to talk to you about anyways. Get in."

"What about?"

She started the car. "You can't tell another human soul. You have to swear that to me, Bridget. Not Cherry, not Missy – nobody. Got it?" I nodded. "Listen. Me and Dallas…well. It happened more than once."

"Oh," I breathed, staring out the windshield to avoid looking at her. "So, were you…were you guys, like…secretly together, or something?"

"I don't know," she sighed, miserable, "but before he…died…I found something out."

Oh my god.

"You're pregnant?" I squeaked. "Vickie! What…how…?"

"Oh my god, Bridget, don't tell me I need to explain the process to you. Seriously! Look, yes, the fucker knocked me up. The bunny bought the big one. I found out because I was late," she said bitterly, "and I told him right before he left to go see his hood friends out in Windrixville, the ones who killed Bob? But he died before we could figure out what to do about it."

So Vickie was no different than Sandy Baxter, and yet Sandy was the whore. Funny how that worked. "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. I can't go to school if I'm just gonna balloon up, but…I'm not so sure I wanna go through with it," she whispered. "I can figure what Dallas would want me to do, but he's not exactly here, is he? I haven't told my parents yet, and it's still early enough that I…well, I'll figure something out." Vickie shook her head. "My parents will kill me if they find out," she said, voice cracking a bit.

I had never seen Vickie so helpless. She wasn't the same; she wasn't the Vickie I had met at the beginning of the year. I was sure all of her opinions were still there, but her demeanor simply couldn't support them right then. I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay, the way a friend should, but I didn't know myself if everything would be okay. I barely had my own life together. I was with a boy that I liked but knew that I would go nowhere with. At the same time, I was friends with somebody that kissed me and made me feel human and I was…possibly…falling in love with him.

"I'm sure you will," I agreed. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." I still wasn't sure why she had told me, but why had anybody told me anything? Cherry, Two-Bit, Vickie…I was everyone's favorite confidante, apparently.

Vickie pulled up beside my house, and she smiled a small, tentative smile that just about killed me. Vickie smiled those broad, look-at-me smiles, and I hadn't seen her do that in a long time. "Thanks, Bridget."

I looked at my house, then back at her. I needed to know something. "When did it happen? When did you guys…get together?"

"That party at the river bottom. We met there, but…I had always known who he was. And then I sought him out. At Buck Merrill's. Rest is history."

Vickie obviously wasn't willing to say any more than that. I thought about it all, what an odd pair they made, how Vickie wasn't one to sleep around and that Dallas Winston was the last person anyone should have wanted to sleep with. It was all so uncharacteristic of her, especially the person she chose to do it with. But maybe Two-Bit had been right – maybe there was some sort of sense in it all, the two of them.

"I need to get going," Vickie sighed. "I'll see you around, Bridget."

I got out of her car, and then watched as she sped off towards who knew what.

xXx

My seventeenth birthday was on a Monday, February seventeenth, and I woke up that morning not feeling any different than I had the day before.

"Happy birthday, Bridget," my father told me, smiling. I smiled back at him. "Feel any older?"

"I feel the same," I shrugged, putting a piece of bread in the toaster. "It's Monday. Got school, rehearsal, all that. It's really no different than any other day."

Dad hummed. "Oh, I don't know about that. I have something for you," he said, and he sounded absolutely pleased with himself.

"Well, that's expected," I joked. "That's usually what happens on birthdays."

He almost rolled his eyes. I swear it on my life. "Just go out front, Bridget."

Out front? How big was it? Then it hit me hard, like a car, and I was up out of my seat like a rocket and running out the front door. And there, parked in the driveway, was a light blue convertible Beetle. I could feel my face light up as I ran to it through the snow – barefoot, I might add. I couldn't feel it, though. I was too in love with that hunk of metal in front of me to be concerned with anything else.

"What do you think?" I could hear my father call from the front porch. I remember thinking how odd it was that he didn't scold me for not wearing shoes. It was trivial, considering what I later learned hadn't been said between the two of us.

"I love it," I breathed. Now I was really a part of the crowd.

"I'm glad you do. Now come inside, it's cold!"

Nothing compared to that car. No other gift was as good as that one, and it wasn't as if I had been begging my father for a car, either. My grandparents and aunts and uncles had all sent me nice things, of course, but none of them were that car. The thought did cross my mind that maybe my father was trying to buy my love, which was stupid because he already had it, but if that was the case, I can't say it didn't work.

xXx

On Friday night, Jerry and I went to a party just outside of town. When he pulled up and was coming up the front walk to greet me, he stared at the Beetle and asked, "Whose car is that?"

I beamed up at him. "Mine," I said proudly. "Dad gave it to me for my birthday."

"Well, ain't that somethin'? Are you still gonna leave me the honor of picking you up for our dates, though?"

I giggled. Like a fucking schoolgirl. "Of course."

"Let's get dinner first, huh? I'm starved."

We had dinner at a diner close to the party and then drove over. It was a big old house, grander even than mine or Cherry's or Vickie's. My house sat on a good bit of land, and it had those grand porches like you see in the south. It was white and open and long. But this place was grand in another sense. It was big and covered in ivy that crawled up the house like it was trying to suffocate it. It was older, but it conveyed a sort of dignity. Very old money, like my grandparents.

"Who lives here?" I wondered.

"A guy that graduated a couple years ago bought the place and spruced it up. His dad left him a huge inheritance after he died, and now he heads his old man's company and throws parties," Jerry explained. "Pretty sweet, huh?"

I shrugged. "I suppose."

It was packed. And I mean that, wall-to-wall. I didn't even know there were that many people in Tulsa. The front two rooms were the worst, the foyer and living room, and the kitchen. God only knew what was going on upstairs. There was another room in the back that was fairly large but had been almost completely cleared of furniture. This was where you could get the best elbow room, unless you wanted to stand around outside in the snow. There was dancing, so that was what Jerry and I did for a while, until he left for a drink and didn't come back. He would get caught up easily with others, so I just wandered around for a while, looking to bump into someone I knew.

Which is exactly what I did.

"Well if it ain't Miss Bee Stevens!"

I whipped my head around and was completely surprised to see Sodapop Curtis standing behind me. His smile was a mile wide, and contagious as all get-out. "Hey!" I yelled over the noise. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" He yelled back. "You?"

I shrugged, thinking of what to say. "I'm really good," I decided. "I got a car."

"Ya did? Why's that?"

"It was my birthday and my dad bought me one. It's a Beetle."

"Convertible or hardtop?"

"Convertible."

"Ain't that somethin'," Soda grinned. "Well, you oughta bring it by the DX sometime so I can get a good look at it. And happy birthday, too."

I smiled, loving the attention. It was too much, but it was nice. "Thanks, Sodapop."

"Ain't no thing," he insisted. "Hey, since I'm here, remember when you promised me that dance? Ya know, a few months back?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well…could I cash in?"

I considered it. Jerry, as always, was absent. It never used to be like that. He used to be by my side constantly, used to talk to me all the time. We still went out, and he still carried my books for me from time to time, but it just wasn't the same anymore. And here was Sodapop Curtis, the most handsome boy in all of Tulsa, standing in front of me and asking me to dance with him. And I knew I wanted to.

"That sounds great," I said. And he smiled and pulled me out to the center of the room.

It was a fast song with a good beat, and unlike Two-Bit, Soda was a good dancer. He moved with me as well as Jerry did but had the decency and respect to keep his hands in the right place. I guess he knew about my boyfriend, too, even if he wasn't in school anymore. Or was just a decent boy – that was probably it.

"Who'd you come here with?" I asked, hoping there wasn't a date I would make angry.

"Ya know my friend Steve?" I nodded. I remembered Steve Randle very well. "Yeah, well, seems he wants to get me back in the saddle. And I guess he thinks I'm gonna get back into it here, at this party." He rolled his eyes, and I laughed.

"You're a real card, Soda Curtis."

He nodded like he knew it already. "Sure am." He leaned in. "And I gotta say, so're you, Miss Bee."

I didn't really think I was. I was just Bridget, the new girl. Nothing spectacular about this one. "You sure?" I teased. "Because I'm not so sure I am."

"I think so," he said. "I mean, I think you're a real funny gal, and, I mean, do you see any of your kind dancing with one of mine?"

I looked around and saw that Soda was right. "So?" I said. "Any girl with all her marbles would dance with you, Sodapop. I'm sure of it."

Soda shrugged. "Maybe. I guess I'm just the apple of everyone's eye, ain't I?"

"I guess you are."

The song changed to a slow one and our hands dropped to our sides. There was a time and a place and a person, and unfortunately, Sodapop wasn't that person. I was sure he would be a great slow dance partner. I was sure he would turn you gently as Sam Cooke crooned in your ear. I was certain there were girls there that would want to have that experience. And I wanted something like that, too, but not with him. I knew who I wanted it with, he was maybe my best friend, but he wasn't there. He wasn't an option. So I smiled at Sodapop, and he beamed back at me.

"Thanks for that."

"No problem."

"It was real good, ya know." He kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday, Bridget."

xXx

"You've been ignoring me for weeks now."

My breath caught in my throat. I closed the auditorium door and saw Two-Bit leaning up against the opposite wall, smoking. Which he shouldn't've been doing, but I wasn't about to tell him otherwise. It would come out wrong, just like I was sure everything else I could say would. So I set my feet and lifted my nose a bit into the air and proceeded to stand my ground.

"Maybe you've been ignoring me," I parried. I needed to play it cool, like I actually knew what I was doing.

"Naw. It's you." Two-Bit grinned devilishly. "Makes more sense, that you should be the one ignoring me, and not the other way around. We can't go on stayin' mad at each other like this."

"And why not?" I shot back.

"Because you're my friend, Bridget. And I don't want to lose you." He mumbled that last part.

That stopped me dead in my tracks. Two-Bit looked at me hard, and I knew then what he meant. Maybe he would be losing me in a different way than he had Dallas Winston and Johnny Cade, but it would be a loss, nonetheless. And it was stupid of me to fight him the way I did. He was right about it all. But I wanted to figure things out for myself.

"I'm sorry, Two-Bit."

He shook his head. "It's alright, Bee. Water under the bridge."

I wasn't so sure, but him saying so made me feel better about it all. "Do you mean that?"

"Yeah, I mean it. We've come so far in this…relationship of ours – don't wanna waste all that hard work on one little thing."

But I knew he didn't think it was little. And I knew that it wasn't little. It was enough, though, and that was better than nothing. And since I had him there..."You kissed me. Why did you do that?"

Two-Bit narrowed his eyebrows, like he didn't have any idea what I was talking about, but then he smiled. "Oh. Right. Well, ain't that what you're s'posed to do?" He asked, playing dumb.

"Well, yeah, but – "

"But nothin'. You're my girl, Bee."

Two-Bit looked awfully pleased with himself for saying that. I guess he was so pleased, he figured he could just turn around and walk away. That left me to stand in my spot, wondering just what the hell that could have possibly meant.

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