Hakkai: Okay, I have a couple of questions to ask you if you don't mind.
Pandect: Sure. I don't see why not.
Hakkai: (takes out a long list)
Pandect: (sweat drop)
Hakkai: If you and Gojyo died due to you blowing up how come you are still alive?
Pandect: Hehehe through the power of TV magic!
Hakkai: But people are reading this.
Pandect: …
Hakkai: You didn't explain "the clap".
Pandect: It's a sexual disease.
Hakkai: Why am I here?
Pandect: Because Gojyo has the clap.
Hakkai: How come he has it and you don't?
Pandect: Because I don't own any characters that belong to Kingdom Hearts and/or Square soft blah blah blah what the fuck ever. If I did it would be rated T and have lots of Yoai and Yuri.
Hakkai: But that doesn't make any sense.
Pandect: Would you just shut up! (Laser eyes burn list) lets just move on to the story.
Kairi sat in her living room. Polished nails were fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. She checked the clock: it was 10:55. 'They couldn't have forgotten about me.' She lightly blushed at her next thought, 'I thought Sora and I were getting close again.' The rest of her thought were interrupted by the ringing of her door bell.
"Coming Sora!" She chirped excitedly as he ran to the door. He face was lit with joy nut when she opened the door it was shattered and a look of disappointment appeared.
"Damn. I know it's only us but you could at least pretend to be happy". Selphie said. To her left was a busy Olette who was writing text messages on her Phone. They both walked in and sat on Kairi's couch.
Kairi put her hand to her head and groaned "I'm sorry Selph. I was waiting for Sora and Riku to put me up for the party." Selph replied with an 'oh.'
Olette looked up at Kairi, "Are you talking about that party in Rikku's house?"
"Uh yeah" Kairi said feeling a little anxious.
"Tidus didn't want to take me 'cause he said he's got a major project form school" Selphie mumbled.
"Hayner is at the party already. He said he saw Sora step on Cid's balls while he was sleeping." Olette said. Kairi felt her chest tighten. 'How could he forget about me? And I really wanted to have sex with him at the party.' Her thought were interrupted again by Selphie.
"Fuck Sora! His probably just afraid of girls. Just a closet fag." She huffed flicking dirt out from under her nails.
"Why are you guys here?' Kairi inquired.
"No idea" Olette said still texting.
Selphie added to Olette's explanation, "Because there's this hot guy who just finished buying a big bag of weed from Donald and Goofy and he wants to smoke with us at my house."
"Oh yeah" Olette grinned, "That's why I'm here."
Kairi giggled then arched her left eyebrow, "Do you even know his name?"
"Of course! It's Sam or Asam-something like that. He just moved here from Hollow Bastion. And! He's in a band! Very fuckable."
"Don't you have a man", Olette said to Selphie.
Selphie scoffed"Yeah but he's just afraid of me because I get my period."
Kairi was slowly succumbing to amusement and curiosity, "What's the name of his band."
Selphie pondered, "I think it's called 'the Darkness' of something like that." She switched back to hyper mode, "come on Kairi lets go don't you want to go with me pleeeease" She made a puppy face at Kairi who laughed.
"Fine" She said getting up and heading for the door.
"Yay!' Selphie said. She and Olette got up and the trio headed for Selphie's house.
"Come you guys lets walk faster" Selphie sounded worried.
"Wat's up Selph I know you can't be scared." Kairi giggled "The only creeps in this town are us."
Selphie shook her head. "No. It's not that it's-
Olette laughed, "She left the guy at her house."
"WHAT!" Kairi practically screamed.
"Well" Selphie scratch the back of her hand with the other, "he seemed nice."
"But still Selph", Kairi countered, "That doesn't mean you leave him at you house!"
Olette cried out, "but he has weeeeeed."
"Well" Kairi mulled it over, "I guess you're right."
When they got into the house Olette yelled, "Where's the weed!"
"It's over here." Kairi turned to see whose casual sounding voice was that.
"Ready to get blasted?" Kairi gasp when she saw who it was. He ran his tan hand through his white-sliver locks.
"I'm so ready to forget about the world" Olette sighed.
"Fire it up you bitch ass Sam" Selphie said running up to him and jumping up and down.
"His name's not Sam." Kairi said almost breathless. "It's Ansem."
With that intro Ansem grinned.
"Oh damn" Sora said.
From were Axel was standing it seemed as if Sora was speaking to Roxas' crotch area. Axel blushed ever so lightly but complements of red hair it could be seen by both Roxas and Sora, who blushes were a shade of red that could put Axel's hair to shame.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Axel screamed. His gloved hands to each side of his face in shock.
"No!' Roxas said shaking his head, "This isn't what it looks like!"
"His zipper stuck." Sora stated.
"Oh" Axel scratched the top of his head, "So you didn't get to third base yet"
"No! That's not it!' Roxas cried.
"What the hell's wrong with you!" Sora yelled. He stood up and flicked him off.
"Whatever" Axel waved him off, "Anyway would you mind leaving the bathroom. I got to take a shit."
"Ewe. Thanks for the info" Sora said walking out the bathroom past Axel.
"And it's LEAVE a shit" Roxas corrected following Sora.
"Whatever hotness." Axel closed and locked the door so he could use the bathroom.
Sora and Roxas stood in front of the door. Sora was looking at it while Roxas was looking at his stuck Zipper.
"Fuck. What are we going to do?" Roxas said looking at his crotch.
"Wanna make out?" Sora suggested. Roxas looked at him like he just grown a beard.
Roxas shrugged, "Kay" He jumped on Sora and their pouty lips connected. Sora tongue caressed Roxas' bottom lip then it began it exploration of his mouth as he slid his hand to Roxas' waist.
Yuffie placed a comforting hand on Leon's back while the other held his hair as he was throwing up on Cid's garden. Yuffie drunkness wore off a little on account of Leon Drinking up the rest of the beer.
"There, There" She said in a semi-soothing tone, she giggled a bit.
"I never thought I'd see you like this. I guess a man will do anything to maintain their pride." Leon pushed her hands off him as he stood straight and walked to the bench. Yuffie followed.
"What's a matter?" Yuffie said taking a seat next to Leon.
Leon sighed "You ever wonder if this story makes any sense?"
Yuffie's face scrunched up, "What?"
"I'm mean isn't Aerith supposed to be dead a long time ago? And what is axel doing here. And Roxas he's supposed to be fused with Sora. Why all we altogether? Some of us are not even in the same final fantasy series. And"- Yuffie stared at Leon baffled. 'How does he know all this?' Suddenly as if out of nowhere a bunch of dancing people in black bodysuits with pure white gloves appear. Yuffie jump up fast. Since she was still a little tipsy this caused her to get a headache.
Yuffie clutched her head. "Who the hell are you" she groaned. They didn't they kept dancing. Some danced around her spinning. Watching them Yuffie felt nauseous and clutched her mouth and stomach. As fast as they came is how fast they disappeared. She stared at the cloudless sky.
"What a bunch of freaks eh Leon." She got no response.
"Leon" She turned and found she was only speaking to the night air. "Fuck!"
"Those were changelings" Yuffie turned around to see who said that. It was none other than Vincent Valentine.
"How long have you been there?" Yuffie said pacing her hands on her hips.
"Changelings don't like it when the characters know. They just like things discreet." Kaze-I mean Vincent said.
"You didn't answer my question" Yuffie said a smile on her face.
Vincent replied, "Long enough to see you cut a lock of Leon's hair and stuff it in your pants"
A blush painted itself across Yuffie's face "Right…let's go get Leon back."
Vincent nodded and they both walked (Yuffie semi-staggered) off into the night in search of a sexy bitch known as Leon.
Hakkai: You know your stories getting complicated.
Pandect: I know (tear) and I still got ideas running through my head.
Gojyo: As well as your stench.
Pandect: What the- Where the fuck did you come from.
Gojyo: Didn't I mention it before? You must have like ADD or something. And you call this crap funny?
Hakkai: (softly chuckles) I think it's ADHD
Pandect: For get you bitches (takes out a patriot gun from metal gear solid and destroys Hakkai and Gojyo.) Sorry if you find any of this offense but its harmless and my sick sense or no sense of Humor. It would be nice to know what others think. I might even take requests if their good and/or crazy enough. Also if their some errors sorry may computer doesn't like 'cause I slap its ass and called it a dirty whore.